A Tale of Sadness and Triumph
by Kayah371
Summary: Having a best friend is a great thing. But developing romantic feelings for them? Not so much. You want to take your relationship a step further, but the chance of losing what you already have may not be worth the effort. Blaine Anderson and Kurt Hummel have to decide if taking a leap of faith is what will make them happy. Inspired by "Love, Rosie".
1. Prologue

_"Well, it seems to me that the best relationships - the ones that last - are frequently the ones that are rooted in friendship. You know, one day you look at the person and you see something more than you did the night before. Like a switch has been flicked somewhere. And the person who was just a friend is... suddenly the only person you can ever imagine yourself with."_

* * *

Blaine walked down the corridor looking at the grey walls. He had no idea how grey color was supposed to appear welcoming and warm. He felt even more sad and deflated. Maybe a light shade of green or yellow would be a little more helpful to the people seeking help in this place but Blaine didn't have enough knowledge about matching colors with rooms so he didn't have any right to speak his mind.

He entered a small waiting room wincing slightly as he noticed the same combination of colors. Blaine sat down on one of the surprisingly comfortable plastic chairs and folded his arms looking down at the pile of magazines resting on the wooden coffee table. There was also a small basket of candies and as much as Blaine loved consuming sweet treats he just wasn't in the mood for stuffing his mouth with chocolate.

The door on his right suddenly opened and a young woman with a friendly smile on her face walked out of the room. Her bright blue eyes scanned the room and when her gaze landed on Blaine her smile widened even more. "Oh, you must be Blaine!" She said cheerfully obviously unaware of Blaine's horrible mood. The hazel-eyed man stood up from the chair and shook her hand.

"Yeah, it's me." Blaine said trying not to sound like he was starting reconsidering going there in the first place.

"I'm Dr. Morrison but you can just call me Jamie. We're the same age anyway." She said still smiling broadly.

"Sure." Blaine answered stepping awkwardly from foot to foot.

She gestured for Blaine to enter her office and he did as he was told. Blaine's mood got slightly better when he noticed that Jamie's office wasn't as grey and dull as the corridor and waiting area. The walls were light blue and the armchairs were green. "Please, sit down." Jamie said gesturing at one of the armchairs. "Do you want something to drink? I can make you a tea or coffee."

"No, I'm fine. Thanks though." Blaine said sitting down on the armchair.

Jamie quickly sat down opposite him crossing one leg over another. "How can I help you today, Blaine?" The therapist asked, the kind smile still in place.

"Ugh, it's kind of a long story." Blaine said rubbing his neck nervously. "I don't even know if being here is such a good idea. It's…it's kind of stupid."

"Is it bothering you?" Blaine nodded his head. "Then you're in the right place. Take your time."

Blaine took a deep breath. Jamie was there to listen to him and Blaine needed someone to just hear him out. He looked straight into Jamie's bright blue eyes trying not to think of another set of eyes in a much lighter shade of blue. "I want to talk about my best friend. I've known him since we were sixteen years old." He paused for a moment remembering all of their silly games and fights over nothing. "And how I fell in love with him and got my heart broken."

* * *

 **A/N: Hi! I don't really want to begin a new story, but this is just stronger than me! This is just a prologue and I don't have much more written, so I'm posting it mostly as a motivation for myself and to see if anybody is interested in reading something like that! So let me know what you think! This is strongly inspired by both movie and book _Love Rosie._**


	2. Chapter 1

**July, 2012**

* * *

Blaine curled his hands into fists and bit down on his bottom lip watching in terror as the shiny metal bird touched sharply the ground. Even though it wasn't even their plane a cold shiver ran down his spine, so he wrapped his arms around his torso trying to warm up a little bit and give himself some comfort.

He could see Sebastian in the corner of his eye with a huge grin attached to his face, but he decided to ignore him for now. Suddenly he felt a hand on his back, so he shifted his body on the metal chair to look at Kurt. "Are you okay, Blaine?" He asked worryingly with his hand still placed on the other boy's back.

"Yeah, sure." The hazel-eyed boy replied forcing himself to smile. He was not okay. The mere thought of leaving the safely of solid ground and being high up in the air, almost in space was giving him shivers.

"You don't have to lie to me." Kurt said giving him a look that said that he could read Blaine like an open book. Which wasn't a lie. "I know how scared you are of flying. We don't have to do it if you don't want to."

Blaine opened his mouth to say that of course he wasn't going to destroy their trip, but Quinn beat him to it. "I don't know about you." The blond girl said looking up at them from her phone. "But I am not going back. I'm not about to throw away my only opportunity to go to Europe just because our little Blainey can't keep his shit together."

"Yeah, I'm with Quinn on this one." Sebastian said. "You are not going to stop me from getting drunk."

Blaine smiled slightly seeing Kurt roll his blue eyes. He knew that the other boy wasn't a fan of Sebastian's idea to drink as much alcohol as they could. As far as Blaine knew visiting Paris had always been his dream and not because you could drink there while still being a teenager. He knew that Kurt wanted to see all the art museums and maybe get some inspiration for his first collection of clothes. The blue-eyed boy kept saying that it would never actually happen, but Blaine knew better.

"I am not scared." Blaine said noticing that Kurt still wanted an answer from him. "I'm just a little nervous. That's all." He crossed one leg over another wanting to look relaxed even though he was well aware that his friends knew him better than that.

Kurt put his carryon bag in his lap, unzipped it and started going through his stuff. He took out a small white bottle and showed it to Blaine. "I have some sleeping pills with me." He said. "So if you need to calm down just let me now."

Now it was Blaine's turn to roll his eyes. "Ugh, seriously, I'm not scared. I won't need them."

"Okay, if you say so." Kurt said not looking convinced at all. He put the bottle back into his bag and zipped it.

When thirty minutes later their flight was announced Blaine felt his knees go weak and he had trouble walking straight towards their gate. Of course all three of his friends could see his struggle, but no one commented on it. The sky was all covered in heavy clouds foretelling the rain and Blaine couldn't help being scared than in these weather conditions something was going to go wrong and the plane would crash down. Then their bodies would fall apart like houses of cards and there would be nothing left for them to live.

"Hey, Blaine. Calm down." Kurt said gently from the seat beside him.

"I am calm." Blaine said a little harshly proving himself wrong. "I'm sorry. Could you just stop patronizing me? You're only making it worse."

"I am not patronizing him." Kurt said moving a little closer to Blaine and scanning his face with his profound eyes. "I am just trying to make it a little bit easier for you."

"Just don't do anything, okay?" Blaine said closing his eyes as the plane started to grumble. "Oh, God. I can't."

"You're fine, Blaine." Kurt said peacefully. Luckily both Sebastian and Quinn were in a different part of the machine, so they couldn't mock him for his childish behavior. "It's all going to be alright."

"No, it's not. I have a bad feeling. We are all going to die!" Blaine's chest started heaving and he had trouble catching his breath. The panic was overwhelming and the tears started rolling down his cheeks. He wanted to be strong. He didn't want Kurt to see him like this, but there was nothing he could do to prevent this from happening.

"Look at me, Blaine." Kurt said gently unzipping his seatbelt and moving even closer to the other boy. He rested his hand on the other boy's shoulder and gripped it tightly. "And breath." Blaine attempted to take a deep breath and then locked his eyes with Kurt's. "That's it. You're fine."

The plane slowly started moving and Kurt could obviously see that Blaine was losing it as he slipped his hand into Blaine's and squeezed it tightly. Blaine quickly unzipped his belt and curled into Kurt's side not caring that it could be very dangerous for both of them. He kept gripping his best friend's whole arm tightly forgetting that the people around them were watching or that it was probably uncomfortable for Kurt.

They stayed like that for some time with Blaine hidden safely in Kurt's arms. After twenty minutes Blaine wasn't even that scared anymore, but Kurt started running his slim fingers through his curls, so he didn't want to move anywhere anytime soon.

"Better?" Kurt asked after a couple of minutes and Blaine knew that it was finally the time to pull away.

He slowly untangled his arms from Kurt's body and moved back into his own seat. "Much better." Blaine said even though his head was pounding and one of his legs was dead from having it draw up for such a long time. "Thank you." He was still scared, but now Blaine was sure that no matter what Kurt would keep him safe. "I know it's stupid to be afraid of something like that, but I just can't help it."

"I know." Kurt said softly and for some reason their hands were still clasped together. "And you have nothing to apologize for." He smirked. "You will repay me by scaring away all the spiders from my closet."

"Deal."

* * *

"Are you sure we are in the right place?" Kurt asked looked around in disgust at all the dilapidated buildings.

Sebastian looked down at his cell phone and then back up at the building. "Yep. I'm pretty sure that's it."

Paris was truly an amazing place. Maybe it was because they wanted it to be that way, but everything seemed magical. It appeared like the city was both big and small at the same time. Everything was clean and people looked happy. At least in the city centre.

Now they were in the outskirts, far away from the bustle and hustle of Paris and it didn't look so pretty anymore. Kurt was obviously disappointed and both Quinn and Sebastian looked as if they wanted to be anywhere but there. Blaine wasn't happy about their living situation either, but it wasn't the end of the world. They still had each other after all and they could make their trip still work.

Slowly and without much cheerfulness they entered the tenement house and were met with surprisingly clean environment. They all let out a breath of relief realizing that maybe it wasn't going to be that bad. In the lobby they were greeted by a young woman with a heavy French accent who showed them their two rooms.

Quinn and Sebastian quickly said that they wanted to be in the same room which was fine by Blaine. The boys unlocked the door to their room smiling shyly at each other, still not quite able to believe that they were really in the capital of France. Blaine pushed the door open and walked inside followed by Kurt. The room was relatively small, but it wasn't a problem.

The problem was that there was only one double bed. Blaine could see Kurt's cheeks turn bright red as the taller boy kept his eyes glued to the bed. He seemed to not notice a beautiful painting on their wall or a really cute cat figure on the bedside table. "What are we going to do?" Kurt asked in terror, as if they were going to spend the night on the street instead of having a nice room with their own bathroom.

Blaine smirked putting the suitcase on the floor. He sat down on the bed and decided that yes, the bed was very comfortable. Especially after spending many hours on shifting from one uncomfortable position to another on the plane. It was almost midnight and Blaine was extremely tired. He wasn't about to sleep on the floor just because Kurt couldn't stand the idea of sleeping in the same bed. "We're going to sleep." Blaine replied. "I don't know what you had in mind." Kurt's eyes widened and he turned even more red while rubbing his neck in a nervous manner.

"Ugh, you're horrible, Blaine." Kurt said sitting down on the edge of the bed. "I mean I know it's ridiculous. " Kurt started playing with the fabric of his black shirt. "But I always thought that sleeping in the same bed with someone for the first time was going to be something magical and unforgettable." He paused for a moment still avoiding Blaine's gaze. "And I am not talking about sex." He stuttered out. "I am talking about sharing an intimate moment with the person you love. You see them for the first time so vulnerable and exposed."

"But you love me." Blaine said grinning. Kurt finally looked at him only to shove him painfully into ribs a moment later. "What was that for?"

"For being a jerk." Kurt said, but he was smiling now.

"Oh, I know, I know that you're a hopeless romantic." Blaine said moving a little closer to his best friend and wrapping his arms around his waist. "But I think that sharing a bed with your best friend that you claim to love more than anything in the whole world couldn't possibly be that bad, right?"

Kurt looked at him with false irritation. "When did I say that I love you more than anything?"

Blaine's grin got even wider. "Maybe you didn't exactly voiceit, but still. I know it's true."

Kurt chuckled resting his head on Blaine's shoulder and closing his eyes. "Umm, maybe. But I definitely love cheesecake more…and probably coffee too."

"Let's go to sleep." Blaine said, too tired to even think about taking a shower or doing anything besides sleeping for that matter. "And let's hope that it will be magical and unforgettable and fantastic!"

Kurt laughed covering his face with his hands. "Ugh, stop. I am stupid. There is really no need to remind me."

"You're cute." Blaine said and kissed Kurt's cheek gaining a yelp of surprise from him. He stood up from the bed and approached his suitcase before unzipping it and taking out a plain white shirt and a pair of shorts. He looked over his shoulders at Kurt and smirked at him while taking off his green shirt and replacing it with the white one.

"Could you please do it in the bathroom if you don't mind?" Kurt asked sounding as if he was going to die from embarrassment.

"Why?" Blaine asked and before Kurt had a chance to answer his clothes were changed.

"Uh, whatever." Kurt said watching as Blaine lied down in bed and covered his body with a duvet. Maybe it was warm outside, but they had air conditional, so it was cold and nice in their room. Kurt only shook his head at him, grabbed his clothes from his suitcase and locked himself inside the bathroom without any word thrown at Blaine.

Kurt's shyness was cute, but completely unjustified. They had known each other for three years and maybe it was nothing compared to decades of friendship, but it was still enough time to be comfortable in each other's company, right? They were both gay, but so was Sebastian and they would never be anything more than friends. It was an unspoken promise that Blaine was determined to keep. A relationship with one of his friends would just cause more trouble than it's worth and send everything to hell.

And Blaine needed both Sebastian and Kurt too much in his life to risk losing them. After a few minutes Kurt walked out of the bathroom and very slowly started walking towards the bed. He looked at Blaine for a moment as if the shorter boy was about to eat him alive and then finally went to the other side of bed and lied down. An awkward silence fell between them as neither of them wanted to make the situation even more weird.

"There is really no need to be so tense." Blaine said turning his body towards Kurt. "It's just me."

Kurt didn't turn around and for a second Blaine thought that he was already asleep. "Yeah, you're right." He said at last. "It's just you."

Blaine waited for him to say something else, but the other boy remained silent. With nothing else to do Blaine closed his eyes and waited for the sleep to wash over him.

* * *

The next week was spend on taking long walks in the evenings and drinking coffee and in small cute cafés. Besides that they visited a few of the most popular tourist attractions leaving a few with a promise that one day they would come back with their significant others.

They just had two days left and Sebastian and Quinn wanted to drag them to a night club. Both Kurt and Blaine were skeptic about this idea since they didn't want to get wasted and embarrass themselves, but eventually Blaine realized that it really didn't matter since no one knew them there and they would leave this place in a while. Somehow Blaine managed to get Kurt to agree to go along with them. It was clear that it wasn't exactly his idea of fun, but apparently he didn't want to be left alone in their hotel room.

As they walked along the busy streets of Paris, late in the evening everything was bright and colorful. People were talking and despite the fact that Blaine didn't know a word in French he could sense that they were all happy and optimistic. And tonight he was one of these people. Careless and free.

Blaine looked over at Kurt walking along Sebastian and talking about something. Laughing and enjoying life. Blaine smiled to himself. The blue-eyed boy looked so beautiful in the dim light of street lamps. He was wearing a pair of nice black skin tight jeans and a brown jacket. For some twisted reason Blaine just wanted to grab him and scream into his face just how incredibly amazing he was.

They entered one of the most popular gay clubs (Quinn didn't really mind that much) wanting to dance the night away and have some fun together before leaving Paris and returning to their boring lives as future seniors. The air around Blaine was heavy and the whole club was stuffed with sweaty bodies. He knew that in order to had a good time he needed to put some alcohol into his system.

Blaine glanced at the rest of his friends. Quinn and Sebastian were already out of sight while Kurt was standing awkwardly looking as if he needed exactly the same. Blaine smiled at him in invitation and reached out his hand towards him. The blue-eyed boy without any hesitation grabbed his hand and let Blaine lead him through the crowd of dancing bodies. Blaine ordered two drinks for them and handed one to Kurt.

The taller boy eyed the glass suspiciously, but took it and to Blaine's surprise drank it all at once. Blaine smirked and also emptied his glass cringing up a bit. "This is such a bad idea." Kurt said, but a smile was present on his place. "We are going to regret it so much in the morning."

Blaine smiled back placing the empty glass down on the bar. "Maybe." He said. "But I don't really care right now and you shouldn't either."

Kurt raised his eyebrows. "Oh, really? I think that having one sober person in our little group might help with getting everyone safely into our hotel."

"Don't think about that now." Blaine said taking the empty glass out of Kurt's hands. When their fingers touched a cold shiver ran down his spine. He knew that something like that could be very dangerous, but he couldn't bring himself to care. "I will order new drinks for us." Blaine said and turned to the bartender. Luckily the man could speak English so he quickly refilled their glasses and set them down in front of them.

It didn't end on only two glasses. Blaine really wanted Kurt to relax, so he kept convincing him to drink another drink with a promise that it would be the last one. After two hours he didn't have to convince him anymore.

They moved to the dance floor and started swaying together in the rhythm of music. The line between being friends and something more was blurred and Blaine knew that soon they would cross it. At some point his hands landed on Kurt's hips and the taller boy wrapped his arms around Blaine's neck and looked into his eyes with hope and uncertainty.

Before Blaine knew what was going on he leaned forward and closed the gap between their lips. It turned out that kissing Kurt Hummel was one of the best things in the whole world. It felt like eating the most delicious candy that one could find. It felt like dancing in the rain and being wrapped in a warm blanket with a good book during a cold winter evening. It was pure magic.

When they pulled away they were both speechless. Blaine didn't want to ruin the moment by saying something stupid. They continued to dance kissing each other occasionally. Blaine knew that he was going to remember this night for the rest of his life so he wanted to hold onto this moment forever. He wanted to hide it somewhere in the back of his mind and leave it untouched for years, so that he could come back to it whenever he wanted to relive this moment.

Eventually Blaine decided that they needed drinks again, so regretfully he pulled away from Kurt and walked towards the bar to order. Before he got there though Blaine realized that he really wanted to pee, so instead of buying them drinks he changed the direction and walked towards the restroom. He felt as if he was hovering over ground instead of walking to be honest. Maybe this rule about not dating friends wasn't true after all. They would surely make it work, right? When Blaine was done he walked back into the crowded room and finally bought them two shots.

With two drinks in both of his hands Blaine looked around scanning the crowd in search of a familiar set of crystal blue eyes. He kept spinning in circles, unable to locate him. But then all the air left his lungs when he saw him spread against the wall. His whole world shattered into pieces when Blaine saw his two best friend kissing each other. Sebastian's hand was in Kurt's hair and they were both clearly enjoying their intimate moment.

So it didn't matter after all. The kisses didn't mean anything. It was just a stupid drunken mistake. Blaine left the glasses on some table and walked back into the bathroom where he leaned his back against the wall and slowly sunk to the floor not caring that two men were kissing in the corner. He covered his face with his hands as his shoulders started shaking. How could he have been so foolish and blind? He should have known better than that.

Rules are to follow them. Now Blaine knew that and he would never make the mistake of forgetting it again.


	3. Chapter 2

**May, 2013**

* * *

The coffee was way too hot, but Blaine needed caffeine more than anything else. His tongue burned and he almost spitted the liquid all over his clothes, but fortunately he managed to compose himself before anything could happen. The cups were also burning his hands, but Blaine couldn't put them down anywhere since he was already running late.

The day was supposed to be sunny and warm according to the weather channel, but the sky was clouded instead and it looked as if it was going to start raining soon. Blaine exited the coffee shop and quickly hopped into his car. The drive to school was short and thankfully uneventful.

Miraculously Blaine managed to find an empty space in the parking lot in front of the school building. He was really grateful since it was already starting to rain and he didn't have an umbrella with him, and even if he had it Blaine wouldn't be able to use it because of the two coffee cups that he had to hold. They weren't burning his skin anymore, but the liquid was still warm and nice.

As fast as he could without spilling anything Blaine made his way through the parking lot trying not to bump into other students. He pushed the door open with his leg and ran through the hallways hoping that it wouldn't slam into anybody. Technically Blaine wasn't late, but he really wanted to share a cup of coffee before their first class and ask Kurt about something rather important.

As soon as Blaine turned the corner he could see Kurt taking books out of his locker and putting them into his satchel. When Kurt turned around his eyes fell on Blaine and it looked as if his whole face brightened up upon seeing him, but the hazel-eyed boy knew that it was all about the coffee. "Blaine! You're amazing."

"I know." Blaine said with a smirk handing one of the cups to Kurt. The taller boy quickly took a sip closing his eyes in pleasure. "Good?"

"Incredible." Kurt said reopening his eyes and smiling at his best friend. "Your hair's wet." He pointed out.

"Well, maybe if I hadn't gone to buy your coffee I would have been able to get here before the rain." Blaine said also taking a sip.

"My coffee? I'm pretty sure you love it at least half as much as I do." Kurt said with a teasing smirk.

They drunk their coffees in silence for a couple of minutes just enjoying being able to spend some time together. The date of graduation was creeping up at them and they had to devote most of their time to either studying or worrying about being accepted to their dream school.

"Kurt." The blue-eyed boy looked up at him and raised his eyebrows in question.

"Yeah?"

"I actually wanted to ask you about something." Blaine began looking down at the coffee cup and wondering why he was so nervous. It wasn't like he was asking Kurt to marry him or anything like that. "Would you like to go the prom with me? I mean as friends, of course since Sebastian and Quinn are most likely going together."

Kurt's eyes flashed with happiness for a second, but then his face fell and he looked away. "Um, actually Quinn and Sebastian aren't going together." He said. "I thought you knew." Blaine's eyes widened out upon this revelation. "I am going with Sebastian."

"Oh." Was all that left Blaine's mouth. He didn't know why he was so upset about this. They were just friends, nothing more. He shrugged wanting to play it cool. "I mean it's fine. I'm sure I can find someone else." He attempted to smile, but it couldn't possibly look convincing.

Apparently it was enough for Kurt as the other boy smiled back. "That's great. Quinn doesn't have anyone to go with, so you two should go together. You would look incredibly cute."

"Yeah…" Blaine trailed off not really sure about that. As much as he loved Quinn the girl could get sometimes annoying after spending too much time with her and besides, he preferred to go with a guy, even if only as friends.

Blaine pretended to be happy and cheerful for as long as they talked. Only when Kurt turned around and started walking towards his first class, Blaine allowed himself to get rid of his mask.

* * *

"So I guess we are going together, loser." Quinn said plopping down next to Blaine who was in the middle of eating his lunch. The blonde stole an apple from his plate and started eating it.

"I would really appreciate if you stopped calling me names, Quinn." Blaine said doing his best not to show her how upset and angry he was.

Quinn smirked. "I'm just stating the obvious." Blaine rolled his eyes. "You're a moron, Blaine." She said leaning forward. "You should have asked Kurt while you still had a chance or better yet." She made a dramatic pause. "Tell him about your feelings for him."

"What feelings?" Blaine asked. "I don't have any feelings for him."

"Yeah, of course." Quinn said still smirking. "You know I can read you better than anyone else. You can't hide a secret from me." Blaine wanted to say something back to her, but he found himself speechless. He had been trying to convince himself that he was over Kurt for the last year and Quinn finding out about his hidden feelings wasn't helping with that. "You're hopelessly and undeniably in love with Kurt."

"I'm not, Quinn." The hazel-eyed boy disagreed with determination. "Why would you think that? We are really good friends and nothing more is needed at the moment. If something changes I will let you know."

Quinn shook her head sadly. "Blaine, don't make it difficult for yourself. _If_ you have feelings for him you should just talk to him about it." She paused for a moment and looked at Blaine with confidence. "You are his best friend for God's sake and he won't stop talking to you if it turns out that he doesn't feel the same way."

"You don't know that for sure." Blaine pointed out.

"Blaine-"

"Just drop it, okay?" Blaine said darkly.

Quinn looked as if she wanted to keep arguing with him, but then she just leaned her back against the chair and continued to eat the apple. "Fine, do whatever you want."

* * *

Blaine opened his closet and looked inside at the classic black tuxedo and a white dress shirt hanging there. He eyed the clothes up and down and then slowly, reluctantly grabbed them and lied them down on bed. He crossed his arms over his chest with his eyes glued to the soft fabric of the tuxedo. It wasn't like he didn't like wearing elegant clothes. It was more that he really didn't feel like going to the prom, but now he couldn't back away because otherwise Quinn would kill him for standing her out and making her go alone like a pathetic girl that couldn't even find herself a guy to go with to the prom.

Blaine knew that she wasn't exactly happy about this situation either. A few months ago she broke up with her long term boyfriend and she still wasn't completely over it even though she wanted to appear tough in front of other people, even her closest friends.

The hazel-eyed boy sat down on the bed wanting to put away the moment of dressing up as far as he could. He knew that he would have to start getting ready pretty soon if he didn't want to make Quinn wait, but for now he just wanted to gather his thoughts for a moment and relax.

Blaine heard a soft knock on his door and suspecting that it was his mother he only grumped in response. The knocking continued for a few more seconds and then the door swung open without any warning.

"Hi, Blaine." The dark-haired boy looked up to see Kurt standing in the doorframe holding a hanger in one of his hands covered by a black fabric. "I thought…" He smiled shyly. "…that we could get ready together."

Kurt wasn't so shy anymore. He even liked going to parties now, but every now and then his cheeks would turn bright red making him look so adorable. A faint smile crept its way onto Blaine's face as he sighed looking over at his clothes lied out on the bed. "I think it's actually a pretty good idea." Blaine said and looked back up at Kurt. "Because I have trouble finding motivation for myself."

Kurt raised his eyebrows in concentration and scrunched up his nose a bit. "Blaine Anderson, are you trying to tell me that you are not happy about going to the prom as much as I am?" It was supposed to be a joke, but Blaine knew how much this night meant to Kurt. He had been talking about the senior year prom for as long as Blaine could remember and seeing someone not as excited as he was always a great surprise to Kurt. "But why?" He asked hanging what was obviously his suit over the desk chair. The blue-eyed boy sat cross-legged on the bed beside Blaine. "I've always thought that it's something you are excited about."

Blaine's smile turned into a sad one. It was true. He had always been looking forward to going to the promp, because every time he closed his eyes he could see Kurt right beside him, dancing along and having fun. But now when Kurt was replaced by Quinn his fantasies were far less colorful and bright. He couldn't picture himself being happy. "I just wanted to go with someone else." Blaine said honestly shrugging his shoulders and looking down at his hands. "Quinn's amazing and all, but as you probably know by now I would prefer to go with a boy instead of girl." Blaine looked back at Kurt and he could see understanding and sympathy in his crystal blue eyes.

"Yeah, I get it." Kurt said. He covered Blaine's hand by one of his and immediately his whole body filled with warmth. But it wasn't exactly pleasant. It was burning him from the inside and it felt like a bittersweet reminder of what could have been. "But we are going to have fun all together, right?"

"I hope so." Blaine said trying to convince himself that Kurt was right and they were all going to have fun together. He didn't want to be stuck alone with Quinn for the whole night.

"Okay, so I guess we should get started!" Kurt said with a smile.

After twenty minutes they were both wearing similar tuxedos. Looking at Kurt and seeing how stunning he looked Blaine couldn't stop himself from smiling. Kurt tied up a tie around his neck and looked over at the shorter boy. Blaine glanced at his reflection in the mirror not really knowing if he liked himself like that or not. Sure, he looked elegant, but way too uptight. "Something's missing." Kurt said inspecting closely his friends' outfit.

They stood in silence for a while, both wondering how to make Blaine look and feel a little bit better, more like himself. Then Kurt snapped his fingers as a sigh of victory and walked over to the chest of drawers next to the window and opened the top one. He took out a green dotted bow-tie and with a winning smile walked over to Blaine and tied it around his neck.

"Better?" Kurt asked while tying the bow tie around Blaine's neck. They were standing so close that Blaine could feel Kurt's breath on his face and see all the freckles on his nose and cheeks.

When the blue-eyed boy was done Blaine turned his front back to the mirror and carefully studied his whole outfit. To most of the people the bow-tie would probably seem out of place, but to Blaine it looked as if he could demonstrate a very important part of his personality to the world.

"Much better." Blaine said smiling faintly. He still wasn't completely convinced that going to the prom was such a good idea, but maybe it wouldn't actually be that bad and maybe he would even be able to follow his original plan and have some fun with Kurt.

"Then I guess we need to get going." Kurt said smiling brightly. He seemed so happy about the prom that the mere thought of him having the time of his life while dancing to the music, was enough to make Blaine feel just a tad bit better. Kurt gathered his things from the bed, folded the black fabric from the suit along with the rest of his clothes and put it inside a small backpack that he had brought. "Sebastian probably keeps sending me texts asking where the hell I am." He pulled his cell phone from the backpack and unlocked the screen. "Yep, he's waiting outside of my house." He rolled his eyes. "Then I guess I need to text him that he should come here instead."

"There's really no need for that." Blaine rushed to say, why too fast for it to sound natural. Kurt looked up at him with a hopeful smile playing on his lips. "You can ride with me and Quinn. She should be here really soon." In that moment the cell phone in Blaine's pocket buzzed. The dark-haired boy took it out and unlocked to see a text from Quinn. "That's her."

"Really? You're sweet." Kurt said and started typing on his phone, probably a text to Sebastian. "Okay, I'm done. We can go."

Of course Pamela Anderson took this moment as a perfect occasion to take thousands of pictures of all three of them. When they finally left the house with a promise of not doing anything stupid that night, their cheeks hurt from smiling so much.

Blaine was silent during most of the time they rode, letting Kurt and Quinn talk freely about clothes and speculate who was going to become king and queen this year. The blonde was convinced that she had a pretty big chance to win, but they all knew too well, that by hanging out with three gay guys most of her time, she wasn't going to be voted on. She had a hard time because of them quite a lot, and all three of them felt bad about it, but Quinn kept saying that they were all idiots and she was happy the way she was.

"Hi, Sebastian!" Kurt said with a smile when they saw the green-eyed boy walk towards them through the parking lot with a mysterious smirk gracing his features. He looked them up and down, but his gaze quickly focused on Kurt and stayed there.

"Well, hello there." Sebastian said as he grabbed Kurt's hand and entwined their fingers together. Blaine's heart skipped a beat, but it wasn't a positive feeling. Since when Kurt and Sebastian were a thing? Blaine felt a wave of relief wash over him when he realized that Kurt looked as confused as Blaine.

They walked towards the school building in awkward silence. There was a part of Blaine's soul that wanted to take Kurt away from Sebastian and keep him to himself, but he had to remember to keep this part on lock, hidden somewhere in the depths of his being, where it couldn't do any harm.

"Hey, are you alright?" Quinn asked in a whisper as they walked though the hallway. Blaine looked over at her and noticed, probably for the first time that night, just how wonderful she looked. Her light pink dress made her appear as if she was a fairy princess from some fantasy world. It was a shame that she couldn't go to the prom with someone that would make her feel as special as she deserved.

"Yeah, I'm fine." Blaine whispered back faking a smile just for her.

Quinn didn't look convinced at all, but she smiled back and took Blaine's hand into her own leading him to a gym where the prom was held. The space was overfilled with dancing couples and sad singles sitting alone at the table, or surrounded by their friends. They managed to find an empty table for four, but almost as soon as they took their seats Sebastian grabbed Kurt's hand once again and without asking anything stole him away, pulling him towards the sea of dancing bodies.

An old and yet detailed picture of the two of them kissing entered Blaine's mind without permission and he had to take a few deep breaths to calm down his racing heart. He wanted to do something to be able to hold Kurt in his arms, but he knew he couldn't do that. Blaine couldn't risk his heart breaking again because of Kurt. He didn't want to relive that horrible moment of hopelessness and utter agony.

He had spent the next week, barely able to talk to Kurt or look at Sebastian. They all had known that something was wrong with their friend, but Blaine refused to tell them anything, to expose his wound and let them put salt in it. "You're a total screw up, Blaine." Quinn pointed out and even though her words were harsh, she spoke them tenderly. "How could you let Sebastian steal him away from you?"

There was no point in denying the truth anymore. Instead of arguing against her statement Blaine ducked his head and shrugged his shoulders looking down at an empty glass in front of him. "What can I do about this?"

Blaine looked up at his friend and he could see shock and almost anger written all over Quinn's face. "Blaine, are you really that stupid or are you just pretending? Have you ever heard about talking? Because this is all you need to do in this situation and I'm sure Kurt will fall to your knees."

"I don't think so, Quinn." Blaine said remembering that night in Paris all too well. "You just don't get it."

"No, I don't." Quinn agreed looking determined. "So please explain it to me if you please."

"I can't." Blaine said and he could feel the unwelcome tears start gathering in the corners of his eyes. "I don't want to think about this anymore. Let's dance. That's why we're here for after all."

Blaine took Quinn's hand and led her to the dance floor, determined to find a place where he wouldn't be forced to look at Sebastian and Kurt. He decided to focus all his attention on the beautiful girl in front of him. He wanted to get lost in her green eyes and forget about the rest of the world. When he found out that the punch was spiked they both drank two glasses, but it wasn't strong enough to kick them off their feet. But it turned out to be enough to get absorbed by Quinn's beauty, to some extent at least.

Unfortunately the more he tried to forget about Kurt, the more he thought about his crystal blue eyes, brown hair and graceful movements. When his lips pressed against Quinn's all he could think about was how different it felt from kissing Kurt. And when two hours later the blond girl was laying next to him in bed, wearing nothing but her fancy bra, curled into his side and sleeping Blaine found himself daydreaming about Kurt's body and wondering why he was stupid enough to fall in love with his best friend in the first place.

* * *

 **A/N: A big thank you to _cecilaine_ and _mlkalmar_ for reviewing!**


	4. Chapter 3

**November, 2013**

* * *

Blaine wrapped his coat tighter around his body wanting to keep himself warm. He kept telling himself that soon he would be embraced by the warmth of his apartment and safe from the pervasive snow and cold, but it was still a long way home (at least in those weather conditions). Both he and Kurt needed to take extra shifts at the coffee shop where they worked if they wanted to earn enough money to afford plane tickets home.

It was nearing 8 PM and Blaine was exhausted. After having to deal with rude uptight businessmen or overly talkative older ladies the hazel-eyed wanted to find himself in his apartment and see Kurt's warm smile that would always make his heart melt. They were really lucky to be able to rent their own apartment where no one would disturb them and they didn't have to deal with unpredictable roommates. Even though Kurt's parents and Blaine's mother kept helping them with money both Kurt and Blaine wanted to pay them back, so they worked hard.

After close to thirty minutes Blaine finally was standing right in front of their building. As he walked up the stairs (they had an elevator, but no one was brave enough to use it) he wondered what Kurt was up to. Blaine would probably find his best friend sitting on the couch with a notebook in his lap and a pencil in his hand. Blaine was really proud of him for taking a leap of faith and choosing Urban Design and Architecture Studies as his major. He still loved sketching clothes, but he had realized that architecture had always been his real dream.

Blaine wasn't really sure about his future, but his major was music. He hoped to become a songwriter or something like that, but he was certain that it wasn't going to be an easy path. He tried the handle and when it turned out that the door was open Blaine made a mental note to remind Kurt how import it was to lock the door, especially late in the evening. He took off his shoes and coat enjoying the warmth. He walked into the living room/kitchen/dining room wanting to just collapse on the sofa and sleep for the next twelve hours, but when he entered the room he stopped dead in his tracks.

There was one single candle on the little table that they had and two plates of Blaine's favorite dish, salmon. Before Blaine's mind really had a chance to catch up with what was going on he noticed Kurt standing in the kitchen and pouring red wine into two glasses. When his gaze landed on Blaine he smiled brightly. "Well, it's about time. I thought the salmon would get cold before you come."

"You really didn't have to do all that." Blaine said gesturing at the table.

Kurt just rolled his eyes shaking his head at him. "It's as much for you as it is for me, Blaine to be honest." He shrugged his shoulders walking over to the table and setting the glasses of wine on the table. They had promises themselves not to get drunk in dark, weird clubs, but from time to time they would get a little "naughty" and buy a bottle of wine for the two of them to share during an evening like this one. "I just thought that after such a long week we both deserve a break."

"I really like the way you think." Blaine said, happy that they would be able to spend some time together without thinking and hopefully talking about school. They sat down to eat and tuned on the TV, so that there would be some sound in the background to their conversation.

Blaine really liked that they lived alone, but sometimes it could get a little lonely and he missed Sebastian and Quinn. But things were different between them now. After the prom they hadn't really talked to each other for some time. Sebastian and Kurt had sort of dated for a while, but then they had broken up deciding that a relationship wasn't really what they wanted from each other. As to Quinn she had drifted away from their little group and that was it.

Now Quinn was still in Lima while Sebastian was somewhere in Canada running together with his father his company. They didn't talk to each other anymore and Blaine found himself wishing that things were different between the four of them. He missed Quinn's sarcastic comments and Sebastian's positive attitude and snarky remarks but as much as he wanted to fix everything he just didn't know how. And sometimes he could see the same sadness and nostalgia in Kurt's blue eyes and the way he kept looking at their pictures in his cell phone with hopelessness written all over his face.

.But right now none of that really mattered. They were just two best friends spending time together and enjoying their company. When they were done with eating they did the dishes together and moved to sit on the comfortable sofa. Blaine spread his legs all over Kurt's lap smirking at him. "What do you think you're doing?" Kurt asked, but a wayward smile was playing on his lips.

"I'm asking you for a feet massage." Blaine said wiggling his feet. The taller boy shook his head in amusement and fake annoyance, but his hands eventually landed on Blaine's feet and he started working his magic. "Umm, that's perfect. Keep doing what you're doing." Blaine said closing his eyes in pleasure.

"You're impossible, Blaine." Kurt said. "I make a dinner for you and instead of returning the favor in some nice way you use me as your personal masseur."

"Exactly." Blaine said. "But if I remember correctly you said that the dinner was for the both of us."

"But still." Kurt said still massaging his feet. " _I_ made it."

"Oh, well." Blaine opened his eyes to look at Kurt's face. "Then if I eventually decide to actually do something nice for you, what would you like it to be?"

Kurt was silent for a moment, clearly thinking about it. "I guess not doing the dishes for a whole week would be adequate."

"Do not cross the line."

"Oh, fine." Kurt said laughing. "Then just make a dinner for me the next time instead."

"Deal." Blaine said with a bright smile. "But is there something that I could do for you right now?"

For a few seconds they just stared at each other in silence, and then Kurt's playful smile turned into a careful one, as he moved a little closer to Blaine. "Actually, I think there is something." He wrapped his arms around his body and smiled hopefully at his best friend. A cold shiver ran down Blaine's spine and he didn't know what was about to happen. "It's kind of cold in here." It was an obvious lie. "Cuddle with me?" Kurt questioned.

Blaine's gaze stayed glued to Kurt's face and he tried to determinate what his requested meant. They had cuddled many times before, but Kurt never asked for it. "Sure." He said breathlessly patting an empty space next to him. Kurt's smile got wider as he leaned into Blaine's side and rested his head on Blaine's shoulder. The hazel-eyed boy's heart skipped a beat as he watched in silent wonder Kurt finding peace in his arms.

They stayed like that in complete silence for almost an hour. Blaine's gaze stayed focused on the TV, but he couldn't stop thinking about Kurt's body pressing against his. He really wanted to make this little moment last forever, but he knew that at some point they would have to pull away and move on.

"It's nice like this, isn't it?" Kurt asked in a whisper as if speaking any louder would destroy the magical moment. He raised his head and looked up at Blaine, clearly expecting an answer from him. "I've been thinking about us a lot recently, you know?" He said smiling shyly. "How you're always there for me when I need someone. I know that if I got lost somewhere in the middle of freaking Norway you would fly across the sea just to find me."

"Oh, really?" Blaine questioned. "You really have that much faith in me?" He asked jokingly.

"Yes." Kurt answered honestly, without any hesitation. "I know you would follow me to the end of the world and I need you to know that I would do that for you as well."

"I know." Blaine said smiling. "I think it goes without saying."

"Yeah," Kurt said smiling back. "But I just needed to make sure that you knew that." Kurt pulled away from Blaine and sat up straight. He lifted up his hand and softly touched his cheek. "Without you I would be lost." He locked his eyes on Blaine's lips and started leaning forward.

Blaine was so excited that he couldn't breath properly. He had been dreaming about touching these delicious lips one more time for so long that it was kind of unbelievable. He closed his eyes and parted his lips slightly also leaning forward. All of his dreams were about to come true.

But then he once again saw the image of Kurt and Sebastian kissing, holding hands and dancing together. But he could almost ignore these thoughts. Remembering all the fights between Sebastian and Kurt, all the broken promises was something else. Blaine didn't want to risk something coming between them and drifting away. He preferred to live his whole life standing on the porch of heaven instead of spending one night in paradise.

Their lips merely touched when Blaine pulled away. They both quickly opened their eyes and Kurt looked like he was going to die. His cheeks turned bright red and tears were slowly filling his eyes. "I'm am so sorry, Blaine." He said looking away from him. "I just thought that maybe you wanted that as well."

"No, it's not your fault, Kurt." Blaine rushed to explain, but before he was given a chance to, Kurt raised from his feet and stormed out of the room, shutting the door loudly behind him.

Almost as soon as Kurt was gone Blaine felt tears start rolling down his cheeks. He had screwed up, but he couldn't have possibly done anything to prevent this from happening. He had chosen the lesser evil.

Blaine just hoped that he wouldn't come to regret this decision.


	5. Chapter 4

**February, 2014**

* * *

Was there a better day to apologize for rejecting someone's love than the Valentine's Day? Blaine didn't think do. He had been stupid to push Kurt away back in November. After that unforgiving evening they hadn't been able to look at each other until Christmas when they finally made amends. But Blaine knew that it wasn't okay yet. Kurt still made sure to spend as little time with Blaine as possible and it was breaking his heart. He decided that maybe taking a leap of faith and actually trying to make his dream come true with Kurt would pay off and they would both be happy.

That is why he was now standing in the flower shop and looking at the red roses. Blaine knew it was cliché, but he couldn't stop himself. A bouquet of lilies could be misinterpreted while red roses were pretty straightforward. Blaine knew that Kurt deserved something better than ordinary and safe, but right now he just needed Kurt to understand that he wanted to apologize and maybe actually try to create something amazing together.

A middle-aged woman behind the counter smiled kindly at him and made a beautiful bouquet for Blaine. He thanked her, took the roses and exited the shop. It was still cold outside, but at least the sky wasn't covered with grey clouds anymore and Blaine could actually see the blue sky and planes ready to land. He walked through the city with a spring in his step and a nervous energy buzzing through his vines. But there was a small chance that Kurt was going to say that it was too late and reject his affections. Blaine wouldn't really blame him for not wanting to be romantically involved with him in any way anymore.

Blaine was still scared out of his mind to even think about being Kurt's boyfriend. He wasn't really sure if it was worth risking their friendship, but he was done being a coward. Maybe it would kick him in the ass, but for now he just wanted to give in to his urges and finally enjoy his life the way he deserved.

When he got to their apartment Kurt wasn't there, so Blaine put the roses in a vase so that they would keep looking fresh and nice for some time, hopeful that Kurt would return soon. He sat down on the sofa and tried to come up with a perfect speech that would make Kurt fall into his arms. Blaine knew that no such thing existed, but he really wanted to believe that it was going to end well for the both of them. That even if something didn't work out they would be able to remain best friends.

Blaine was pulled out of his thoughts when he felt his cell phone start buzzing in his pocket. He took it out and was shocked to discover that it was Quinn calling him. Happy to be able to hear his friend's voice again Blaine pressed the accept call button and held the cell phone close to his ear.

"Hi, Quinn!" He said cheerfully.

"Blaine." He frowned upon hearing her say his name with so much pain in her voice.

"What's wrong, Quinn?" Blaine asked quickly.

"You need to come back to Lima." She said breathing heavily.

"Please, calm down." Blaine said trying to sound as calm as he could. "What happened?"

"I'm in hospital, Blaine." She said crying. His eyes widened out. It had to be really bad if she was calling him. "I'm in labor." She added quietly after a moment of silence.

In that moment Blaine's whole life fell apart and came back together. He didn't have to ask Quinn who was the father of her baby. Blaine knew it was his child. Before he could realize what it all meant to the both of them, to his future, Blaine came to a conclusion that he needed to be there for Quinn. "Okay, you need to keep calm Quinn. I will be there as soon as I can."

"Please, hurry up." The girl said brokenly.

"I will." Blaine hung open and quickly walked into his bedroom to throw some clothes into his bag and took all of his documents that he would need on the airport and later. Then he booked the first available flight to Columbus. He had three hours to get to the airport.

Blaine quickly grabbed his coat and was about to exit the apartment, but then he stopped for a second and looked over his shoulder at the vase of the beautiful red flowers. Kurt probably wouldn't be able to reach him for the next few hours and he didn't want him to get worried sick. He quickly took the notepad from the cupboard and scribbled a short note for Kurt.

He put it down on the table, next to the roses and left the apartment.

* * *

It was clear that Quinn wasn't the same person anymore. Even with her giant belly she looked incredibly small and defenses. As soon as Blaine saw her, lying alone in the hospital bed, with tear tracks on her face his heart shattered into million pieces. Her green eyes brightened up a little upon seeing him and she reached out her hand like a small desperate child. "Blaine." She said, and it sounded like a prayer on her lips.

"Oh, Quinn." Blaine said softly as he sat down on a small stool by her bed and gripped tightly her hand. "Why are you here all alone? Why didn't you call anyone?"

Her shoulders started shaking as the tears started rolling down her cheeks. "I was so ashamed, Blaine." She said and gasped as another wave of pain washed over her. "I didn't want people to come here and look at me and say that I deserve all of this pain now."

"But you could have told me!" Blaine said, losing his patience. "This is my child we're talking about here! I would have helped you, Quinn."

"I just didn't want you to throw your life away because of me." The blonde said looking at him with big teary eyes. "I thought I could do it on my own, but it turned out that I really can't."

"Do you want to keep the baby?" Blaine asked, not really knowing what he wanted to hear from her.

The girl bit down on her bottom lip and looked away, as if ashamed of her decision. "No." She said at last. "I want him to have a real home and real parents."

Blaine just nodded his head and kept squeezing her hand.

The labor progressed quickly from then on and after two hours of crying and shouting they saw their son for the first time. The infant was placed in Quinn's arms and the girl stared at him in wonder. Blaine could see the love radiating from her, but he could also see the pain in her eyes indicating that she hadn't changed her mind. Blaine didn't blame her for that. She was going to be a wonderful mother someday, but it was clear that she wasn't ready to become one just yet.

Blaine wasn't ready to become a father either, but when a nice-looking nurse placed the little boy in his arms something shifted and Blaine found himself falling in love. The little boy opened his eyes and blinked a few times, before starting to cry. In that moment Blaine realized that he wouldn't be able to put the baby up for adoption. He knew he would spend the rest of his days caring for this little creature and protecting him from all the evil. When he looked into Quinn's tired eyes he knew that the girl saw all the love and devotion in Blaine's eyes.

"I have to keep him." Blaine said, barely above a whisper.

Quinn stared at them for a moment and then a faint smile graced her features. "I'm just happy it's you he's staying with. I couldn't have imagined a better parent for him."

* * *

"Are you out of your mind, Blaine?" Pamela asked later that evening after finding out about everything. "What about New York and college?"

Blaine just shrugged looking down at the cup of tea in front of him. "It can wait."

Pamela took a deep breath and took a seat next to Blaine, at the dining table. "Sweetheart, I know you mean well, but don't you think that it will be better for everyone involved if you decide to put him up for adoption? Look at it this way, you're just a college student. You can't afford anything."

"So you won't help me then?" Blaine questioned looking at her sternly.

Pamela sighed. "Of course I will. You are my son after all." Her amber eyes were full of hopelessness as she took Blaine's hand into hers and squeezed it. "I just…I don't want you to regret this decision at some point and resent this little guy." Blaine opened his mouth to argue against it, but his mother gave him a serious look and Blaine knew to keep silent. "Baby's not a toy or a sweet adorable puppy that you can return at any point or just pass to someone else. It's a small, living person."

Blaine knew that his mother was right. It was still a little overwhelming to think that he was a father, that he was responsible for someone else, but there was one thing that he knew for sure. Blaine loved his son and there was nothing that anyone could possibly do to prove him wrong. "I know what I'm doing, mom." Blaine said smiling weakly at her. "I may be young, but I know that with your help we'll be able to create a family."

Pamela stared at him in silence for a few painfully long minutes, but then an almost too small to notice smile appeared on her face and she ran her hands through her long hair dark hair. "I always wanted to have grandchildren." Blaine's whole face turned into a giant grin. "We'll see if you're so happy when the kid actually comes home."

After that conversation Blaine walked up the stairs and entered his room. Even though Blaine already missed New York, he wasn't stupid enough to think that he would be able to come back there with an infant. He would have to stay here, in Lima with his mother.

And leave Kurt.

The boy he used to love more than anything.

Up until this very day.

Blaine took his cell phone out of his bag and turned it on. His face fell and his good mood vanished completely when he saw ten missed phone calls from Kurt. He quickly dialed the boy's number and held the device close to his ear. "Blaine?" He picked up almost immediately. "What the hell? Why didn't you tell me that you're going back to Lima? A family emergency? What is that even supposed to mean?"

"Kurt, you don't understand." Blaine began, but before he had a chance to say anything else, the other boy started talking again.

"Why do I not understand?" He asked angrily. "You could have just explain everything to me instead of leaving without a single word!"

"It's not that easy."

Kurt was silent for a moment, and then he said, without any trace of previous anger. "I would have come with you." His voice was full of disappointment and regret. "How could you even think that I wouldn't be there for you?"

"There was no time for anything, Kurt. You had no idea how much I wanted you to be there by my side." Blaine said honestly. Nothing would make him feel better than Kurt's warm smile and comforting words.

"Then tell me what is it all about." Kurt said softly, clearly beyond tired from worrying so much about his best friend. Blaine felt bad for making him feel like that, but he couldn't have done anything to prevent this from happening. "Whatever it is that you're going through right now I need you to know that I will do anything to help you. I will catch the soonest plane and-"

"Hey, Kurt. There's really no need for that." Blaine said even though all he wanted was to beg Kurt to come to him and hold him in his arms. "You have school to worry about."

"But you have it too!" Kurt pointed out. "Okay. Explain everything to me. Now."

Blaine opened his mouth and closed it a few times, not quite sure how to summarize all the events without sounding ridiculous and reckless. He decided to just get straight to the point without dancing around the subject unnecessary. "Quinn gave birth to a baby a few hours ago."

Kurt was silent for some time and Blaine could just picture him raising his perfect eyebrows in question and pacing the room back and forth. "Is this a joke? Because if it is then it's not funny."

"It is not a joke, Kurt." Blaine said seriously knowing that now the other boy would surely understand that it wasn't just a prank, that it was now Blaine's new reality. "And…and the baby's…he's my son." Blaine chocked out, unable to believe that in the course of a day his life had changed so much.

The dark-haired boy let his gaze travel through the room, his hazel eyes landed on every object one after the other. He looked at all the movie posters, pictures of him together with his friends, his old tattered guitar, his always messy desk which was now perfectly clean making it look as if it didn't belong here. Blaine lied down in bed and closed his eyes imaging that Kurt was right next to him. He realized that his childhood was now officially over and he was a real adult, or at least that was who he was supposed to be.

"Oh, God." Kurt whispered to the phone. He sounded as though he had trouble believing that the other boy was a father now. Blaine couldn't blame him for that. As much as he felt that he should take the baby and care for it he wasn't exactly the best father material. He hadn't graduated from college and he was still a teenager living in a small town in Ohio. "But how?"

Now Blaine felt stupid for never bringing it up to Kurt. He had felt guilty for sleeping with one of his best friends and he knew that talking to Kurt about it would help, but Blaine had been too ashamed to admit to it. "We slept together after the prom." Blaine said.

"Oh," Was all that Blaine could hear from Kurt.

"I know it was stupid of me to do something like that and that I should have told you about it a long time ago." Blaine said. "But I was and still am so ashamed of myself." He took a deep breath. "And only today she told me about it. She wasn't even going to, you know? I should be pissed off, but I kinda understand her motivation."

"So what are you going to do about this?" Kurt asked.

"Quinn wanted to give the baby up for adoption, but…" He paused for a moment. "…but I decided to keep it."

"Are you sure this is the right thing to do?" Kurt asked sounding worried and a little disappointed. Blaine had a feeling that the other boy wanted for some reason to end this conversation as soon as he could.

"No, I'm not." Blaine said honestly. "But I feel like I should try this whole father thing."

"But our apartment is so small. We'll have to spend a lot of money adjusting it."

"Kurt." Blaine said brokenly, unable to bear the thought of not living together with Kurt anymore. "I am not going back to New York. I'm staying in Lima."

"What?!" Kurt asked, clearly shocked. "You can't do that! What about school?" He paused for a moment and then added in a whisper. "What about me, Blaine?"

"School will have to wait." Blaine said. "And you don't have to worry about paying for the apartment. We'll keep sending you money."

"But it's not about the money!" Kurt snapped. "You can't leave me here alone! New York has always been our dream! How am I supposed to cope here without you?"

"Kurt, you're the strongest person that I know." Blaine said smiling a little. "New York is where you belong and you don't need me there to shine like you deserve."

"But Blaine-"

"I'm sorry, Kurt. But I have to do it." Blaine said.

"I just don't understand you, Blaine." Kurt said sounding both angry and sad. "It's stupid and you know it. You can come to New York with the baby! I will help you!"

"I wish I could do that." Blaine said honestly. "But I don't have enough money to support both myself and my son. I need my mother's help."

"But Blaine-"

"I'm so sorry, Kurt."

Blaine could her Kurt's sobs on the other end and he knew that the other boy wouldn't calm down so quickly, so he put the cell phone close to his face and started crying as well wishing that he didn't have to live apart from his best friend.

* * *

"How are you going to name him?" Quinn asked in a whisper resting her head against Blaine's shoulder and tracing patterns on the little boy's head. Blaine was lying on the hospital bed beside her with the baby resting safely in his arms. The little boy was finally sleeping, so they were talking as quietly as they could.

"I haven't really thought about that yet." Blaine admitted, a little surprised that such thought hadn't occurred to him yet. "Any wishes?"

"I always liked Robert." Quinn said smiling down at the baby sleeping in Blaine's arms.

"Robert it is then." Blaine said also focusing his gaze on the little boy.

"You don't have to name him that if you don't like it, Blaine." The girl said seriously. "You're keeping him after all, so you should give him a name that you like."

"No, I actually like it." The hazel-eyed boy said. "It suits him. And besides, I used to have a crush on Robert Chase from House M.D."

Quinn laughed and then looked down at the boy. "Hello, Robert. Maybe you don't exactly know it yet, but you have the best daddy anyone could ever ask for."

A few days later Blaine came home with Robert in his arms. An old, baby crib had been set up in his room and his mother was ready to help him. Even though Blaine was beyond scared he was confident that he was going to be able to be a decent father to his son.

When Pamela was finally done cooing over Robert, Blaine took the baby into his room and carefully put him into the crib. The little boy kept his eyes focused on him probably wondering what a strange place it was.

Blaine leaned forward resting his arms on the wooden railing of the crib. "So I guess it's just you and me now." He said looking down at Robert. As if on cue the baby's face scrunched up and he let out a loud cry followed soon by another. "Yep, I can totally do it."


	6. Chapter 5

**March, 2014**

* * *

Having a baby was nowhere near nice or easy. Of course Blaine still felt like Robert was his whole world, but sometimes he just wanted to get away from everything for a moment. Unfortunately more often than not that was not an option. Even though Pamela was always there to help him, raising a child was still the hardest thing that Blaine ever had to do.

Blaine didn't feel like a young person anymore. It was as though he had aged at least ten years during the last month. He couldn't go out with friends to loosen up a bit, because he had to be home with the baby and well, he didn't have any friends around to begin with. Quinn had left for Los Angeles to define anew herself leaving Blaine with absolutely no one to hang out with.

And he really wished that he could just pack up his bag and leave for a couple of days. Sleepless nights were especially hard on him, since not only the next day he was restless, but Blaine could also see dark circles under his mom's eyes matching his own. Blaine felt guilty for making her life more difficult than it should be, but there wasn't really much he could do about this at the moment. Pamela loved her grandson and even though her smile was a little bit tired it was honest.

And despite all the difficulties Blaine loved looking at his son and searching for all the similarities between the two of them. The boy had a mop of dark curls on his head and olive skin. But his were still baby blue, so Blaine couldn't tell if he would have green or hazel eyes, or maybe even blue after one of his grandparents. Blaine loved watching him blink up at him, as if in wonder. Robert was strong and healthy and Blaine couldn't really ask for more.

Today was an exceptional day though. At first glance everything looked exactly the same. It was a warm morning and everything was bathed in sunlight. The kitchen was messy and loud as usual. Robert was crying in Blaine's arms as the boy tried to calm him down while making a bottle for him. "Do you need some help, darling?" Blaine turned his head to look at his mother who was looking at him with a strange mixture of amusement and sadness.

Blaine attempted to smile at her. "Could you just hold him for a while, please?" He asked, having enough of trying to balance doing a few things at once. Pamela only smiled back and wordlessly took the baby from him before sitting down by the kitchen table and cradling Robert against her chest. Her eyes immediately started sparkling and as if on cue the baby calmed down. "I wish I could calm him down as quickly as you do."

Pamela looked up at him. "Years and years of practice, my dear."

And once again a wave of guilt washed over him making him feel like trash. His mother had two kids and she had been through hell with both him and his brother and now she deserved to have some time to herself instead of having to worry about her son and grandkid. And not only that, with no proper education or job Blaine couldn't help his mother financially in any way. "I should start looking for a job." Blaine concluded out loud glancing at Pamela.

The woman was a teacher and she loved her job, but while they had enough money to live without worrying about it, gone were the days when Pamela could go on a weekend trip with her friends. As much as she loved shopping and just spending money in general, now she had to stay at home and help her son raise his child. Blaine kept telling her that it wasn't her child after all and she could go out and get away from everything, but she kept refusing and as much as Blaine loved her it was starting to get on his nerves. Because he could see how much of a toll spending all her time at home had on Pamela.

"I don't think it's a good idea." Pamela said. "Robert's too small and besides we really don't need any more money at the moment."

"Yeah, you're right." Blaine said waiting for the bottle to get warm enough. He turned around and leaned against the cupboard. "But I don't want you to spend all your money on me." He looked at the baby resting peacefully into his mother's arms. Sometimes he wondered if keeping him was a good idea. "I want to give Robert a good life." Maybe with a different family he would have a better start in life. "And I don't want him to think in the future that his father is a failure."

"Sweetheart," Pamela began softly looking into his eyes. "You are anything but a failure. Robert is just a little over one month old. Give yourself some time. You're not a superhero."

"But it doesn't change the fact that I feel bad about using all of your money." Blaine said.

"Actually, you're doing me a favor." She said with a smile. "You're keeping me from becoming a shopaholic."

Blaine smiled a bit too, but it was a weak one and it probably didn't look convincing at all. "But it still feels wrong to do that." He whispered mostly to himself even though he knew that Pamela could most likely still hear him. "Sometimes…" He stopped not knowing if he really should say all these words out loud. "…sometimes I wonder if keeping Robert was such a good idea. I was clearly acting on emotions."

"Blaine, stop with that already." Pamela said, clearly a little bit annoyed with Blaine by now. "Maybe I wasn't such a big fan of you deciding to keep him, but I've grown to love this little guy." She said smiling down at the little boy in her arms.

Blaine fed Robert and together with Pamela they ate breakfast talking about their plans for the day. Since Blaine's schedule was pretty much empty aside from Robert's doctor appointment he didn't have a lot to say. Pamela had to leave soon for work, but she said that she could watch over Robert later so that maybe Blaine could leave the house for a few hours. Blaine refused her offer.

His mother wasn't very happy about that, but there wasn't much that she could do to change his mind, so with a kiss on his cheek she exited the house leaving Blaine alone with the infant. Pretty soon the little boy fell asleep, so he put him into crib and started doing chores so that he would do something around the house and not be completely useless.

While cleaning he turned on the TV and every time he saw a teenager or a college student he would imagine what his life would look like if he was still in New York with Kurt. For the first time since coming to Lima it hit him that maybe they would have been together by now. His heart started aching as he imagined walking hand in hand with Kurt through the streets of New York City. It was almost too painful to think about.

Around the noon when Blaine just finished eating his lunch, he checked on Rob who turned out to be still peacefully sleeping in his crib and was about to take a short nap when he heard a doorbell. He didn't really have energy to deal with whoever was waiting for him at the front door, but he figured that if he let them just keep ringing Robert would most likely wake up and his nap would remain nothing more than a fantasy. So as quickly as he could Blaine ran down the staircase and unlocked the door.

A mixture of confusion and excitement entered his heart when Blaine realized just who was standing in front of him. It was a little bit strange, but Blaine noticed that Sebastian hadn't changed at all except for his hair being shorter. Before the hazel-eyed boy could react like a normal human being he surged forward and threw his arms around Sebastian's neck. It was such a positive feeling to see a familiar face. The taller boy was clearly taken off guard as he took a step back, but wrapped his arms around Blaine's body anyway and laughed a bit. "Okay, enough." He said after a few seconds when Blaine still wouldn't let go and pulled away. Only then Blaine had a chance to take him all in. He quickly had to admit that Sebastian looked absolutely breathtaking. His face was slightly tanned making him look just a little older and more mature. His green eyes were full of life and wonder while a confident smile was playing on his lips. He was glowing with happiness. And his outfit was both simple and classy. A black leather jacket was over his shoulders and a plain navy shirt was underneath matched with black form fitting pants. Even though it wasn't even close to summer yet there was a pair of designer sunglasses hanging on Sebastian's head.

When Blaine was done admiring Sebastian he looked down at himself and his cheeks immediately turned bright red. Without the need to impress anybody Blaine didn't care about his appearance that much. That is why his curls were loose and he was wearing an over sized shirt and a pair of yoga pants. "Oh, God. I look horrible." He said out loud.

Sebastian barked in laughter rolling his eyes. "Well, it's nice to see you too, Blaine. Yes. I'm fine."

"I'm sorry." Blaine said. "I just look like a disaster and you…" He gestured at his clothes. "…and you look amazing."

Sebastian quirked his eyebrows in amusement. He smirked and let his gaze travel up and down Blaine's whole body. Suddenly he felt extremely shy under his gaze. "I know damn well that I look awesome, but you don't look so bad yourself." The green-eyed boy said. "Will you let me in or not?"

"Sure." He said before entering the house. Sebastian followed him wordlessly into the kitchen and watched as Blaine took a carton of orange juice out of the fridge and poured it into two glasses before handing one to his friend.

Sebastian leaned against the cupboard as Blaine sat down on the stool and took a sip of the juice. "So are we just going to ignore the giant elephant in the room?" The green-eyed boy asked. "I've heard you've been busy."

Blaine looked up at him almost forgetting all about the aimless anger once directed at Sebastian for dating Kurt. Knowing that Sebastian had what Blaine wanted the most had been the greatest pain that Blaine ever had to experience. As much as he loved Sebastian the boy was a player and he wasn't a fan of commitments while Kurt always talked about marriage, a house with a garden and two kids. "Yeah, I had to drop out of the college to take care of Robert."

"Robert? What kind of name is that?" Sebastian asked, clearly unimpressed.

"Don't judge me." Blaine said sending him a death glare.

"I'm not judging you." Sebastian said setting the glass on the cupboard behind him. "I'm just saying that your son has a shitty name." When Blaine sent him another death glare, the green-eyed boy rolled his eyes. "I'm just kidding, alright?"

"Well, I'm not so sure about that." Blaine said and took another sip of his juice. "Quinn wanted to name him that."

"That explains everything." Sebastian walked over to him and the emotions on his face suddenly changed from amusement to toughness. "Blaine, why did you drop out of college? Do you know how stupid that was? You could have taken the kid with you to New York. Hummel would have helped you with taking care of him."

"It's not as easy as you think it is." Blaine said, slightly annoyed. "Why do you all think that you know what's best for me and my son? Do you even can imagine how hard it would be to live in a big city, study, work and take care of an infant?" Sebastian opened his mouth, as to say something, but Blaine didn't let him. "You think you have a perfect advice for me? No, you don't! You don't know shit! You don't have a little baby that depends on you." He paused for a moment looking down at his feet. "You don't spend nights wondering if keeping him was a good choice, if you're not going to just screw him up."

"Blaine-"

"No. Listen me out." Blaine said looking back up at Sebastian. "I know that Kurt would have helped me, but I don't want to put this kind of pressure on him. He deserves to live his life the way he wants to. He deserves to have fun and…and find himself a boyfriend and just be happy."

"You deserve all that too."

"Maybe, but it's all my fault. If I hadn't slept with Quinn I wouldn't have been in this mess now." Blaine said regretfully.

"If you had given him up for adoption you wouldn't have been in this mess either." Sebastian's voice was soft, but to Blaine it felt like a knife cut into his skin.

"Maybe I should have done that then." Blaine said, feeling the angry tears gather in his eyes. He wasn't really sure what he was so upset about. It was probably because of all the missed opportunities now flying before his eyes in form of Sebastian Smythe. He was young, attractive and successful. Everything that Blaine once dreamed to be.

"Oh, come on, Blaine." Sebastian said. "Stop with this pity party. You have a kid now and you should be happy about it."

"It's easy to say when you don't have to change the dirty diapers like every five minutes or be awoken five times during one night." Blaine said bitterly standing up from the stool. "What are you here for, Seb? To pin point all of my mistakes and flaws? Thank you very much for that, but I'm perfectly capable of doing that myself."

"No, Blaine." Sebastian said grabbing his arm. "I'm here to help you pull your shit together."

"How would you even known that I need help with anything?" Blaine asked wrapping his arms around himself.

"From your mother."

"Of course." Blaine said angrily. "That's just great."

"She's worried about you." Sebastian said taking a step forward, so that they were standing almost chest to chest. "And I am too." This time it was the taller boy's turn to gather Blaine in his arms. He really didn't want to seem weak and helpless, but he melted into Sebastian's arms anyway. "She says that you refuse to leave the house. I know that you want to take care of _Robert_." He said that word in way as if even speaking it out loud was a great disgrace. "But you need to keep in mind that your mother wants to help you. And you need to _live_. God, Blaine, you must be so sick of this house, even of your child by now."

"I'm not." Blaine said weakly.

"Yes, you are. Don't even try to deny that." Sebastian said firmly. "And do you know why it is like that? Because you spend all the damn time here. You need to go out. Otherwise the next time I see you it will be in a mental house."

Blaine didn't say anything to that. He knew that the other boy was right. He just closed his eyes and buried his face into the Sebastian's chest.

* * *

 _B: Seb's here_

 _K: Here?_

 _B: Yeah, he came here cause he thinks I'm going crazy_

 _K: There might be some truth to that_

 _B: Hey!_

 _K: Just stating the obvious_

 _B: He wants to go out_

 _K: Is there something wrong about that?_

 _B: Yes_

 _K: Which is?_

 _B: Leaving Rob with mom_

 _K: And it's so bad because?_

 _B: Cause I don't want her to have to take care of my child!_

 _K: You're dumb_

 _B: Stop calling me names_

 _K: Again, just stating the obvious_

 _B: Should I do that?_

 _K: For the love of God! Yes, Blaine. You should live like a normal person_

* * *

The next day Pamela had to literally push Blaine out of the house. Only when he entered Sebastian's car he discovered the real reason behind him not wanting to leave the house for such a long time. He couldn't stop thinking about Robert being alone with his mother. It wasn't that he didn't believe that Pamela could take good care of her grandson. No, it was because Blaine realized that he just simply missed his son.

He was snapped out of his thoughts when Sebastian's hand landed on his knee. Blaine looked over at the boy in the driver's seat and attempted to smile. "Hey, you're finally out of these horrible sweats." Sebastian remarked looking at him with approbation. Blaine glanced into the mirror almost not recognizing the boy staring back at him. Even though his skin was still a little grey and there were dark shadows under his tired eyes there was no doubt that he looked better. Blaine's hair wasn't a mop of curls anymore, the curls were tamed under a layer of hair gel. He was also wearing his favorite clothes, in bright colors. "I like it." The green-eyed boy said with a smirk.

Blaine expected Sebastian to take him to Scandals, but the taller boy surprised him by taking him to a bowling alley in the center of Lima. After close to an hour Blaine finally loosened up and started having fun with his best friend. Only then looking at the familiar sparkle in his green eyes Blaine realized how much he missed Sebastian's presence in his life. He could make every boring thing extremely interesting and that was what Blaine loved him mostly for.

"How long are you here for?" Blaine asked when they were taking a break from bowling. They were sitting on a bench side by side watching other people, mostly teenagers play and have fun with each other.

"A week." Sebastian said and there was a trace of sadness in his voice.

Blaine nodded his head. "How's going your work?"

Sebastian shrugged. "Well, I guess." He said. "It's not the job of my dreams by any means, but it pays well and that's enough for me." They were silent for a moment, each wishing to go back in time when everything was more simple. "Come with me to Vancouver." Sebastian suddenly said pulling Blaine out of his thoughts.

Blaine looked at him in confusion. "What?"

"Think about it, Blaine." Sebastian said. "There are a lot of possibilities, you could go to college and I could help you with everything. I have a huge apartment, so you wouldn't have to worry about renting a flat. We could get Robert a babysitter."

A huge part of Blaine was screaming at him to say yes. He could see both of them in Vancouver living together and helping each other. And Blaine knew that he would be happy there. "I can't." Blaine said regretfully. "I can't just use your money like that."

"Blaine-"

"I wish I could go with you, but the answer is no." Blaine said firmly looking away. He knew that one look into Sebastian's sad eyes would make him change his mind. "I'm sorry."

He felt Sebastian's arm wrap around his body and he shivered under his touch. "It's okay. I shouldn't have asked you that. "

After that conversation neither of them were in a mood to keep playing, so they decided to call it a day and go home. When Sebastian's car parked in front of Blaine's house the green-eyed boy looked over at the shorter boy sitting beside him and smiled weakly. "Can I at least see that poor guy named Robert?"

Blaine rolled his eyes. "I don't know why you think Robert's a stupid name." He said. "But yes, you can see him."

It was pretty late so the house was quiet. Blaine could see a dim light coming from behind the door to Pamela's bedroom which meant that the woman was probably reading. He led Sebastian's into his room where Robert's crib was placed. The curly-haired boy closed the door carefully behind them seeing as Robert was sleeping peacefully.

They both walked over to the crib and just stared in darkness at the little boy for some time. The room was only illuminated by the moonlight, but they were still able to see each other. "He looks just like you." Sebastian whispered.

"Oh, please." Blaine whispered back looking over at Sebastian with a playful smile. "He doesn't look like anybody yet. And it's dark, so you can't see anything either."

Sebastian rolled his eyes. "I'm just trying to be nice. Fine. Then he looks like a potato."

"He doesn't" Blaine quickly argued.

"Jeez, I was joking, you idiot. Have you ever heard about something like that?"

At some point their hands found their way to each other and their fingers entwined as they continued to stare at the little boy in front of them.


	7. Chapter 6

**June, 2014**

* * *

As soon as Blaine spotted him in the sea of faces he noticed how much Kurt had changed during the last five months. His hair was perfectly kept as usual, but there were blond highlights shining in the sunlight. Kurt's fashion sense seemed to be still ridiculously original, but he looked a little taller and more mature. His blue eyes kept travelling through the airport, probably in search of Blaine's hazel ones and when he finally found him, Kurt's whole face brightened up.

Even though Blaine wanted to run through the open space to get to Kurt as fast as he could, he remained calm and waited patiently for Kurt to approach him. "Hi." He said simply when they were finally standing face to face. Instead of answering Kurt pulled him close to his body and rested his chin on Blaine's shoulder. The dark-haired boy closed his eyes inhaling Kurt's scent. Man, it felt so good to have him back in his arms. Blaine knew that this moment would be short-lived, but he wanted to hold onto it forever.

When they finally pulled away Blaine could see sparkly tears in his best friend's crystal blue eyes, but Kurt quickly wiped at his eyes and grinned at the other boy. "New York is not the same without you." He said as a way of greeting.

And all it took was one teary-eyed grin and all the feelings and emotions buried deep inside came back to the surface knocking the wind out of Blaine. He had been fine without Kurt. He had been able to live without the constant ache in his heart and now despite his brain's protests Blaine started falling in love with his best friend all over again.

"I sure hope so." Blaine said smirking even though right in that moment the reality around him was falling apart. Despite Kurt's protests he took one of his suitcases and they started walking towards the exit. "So what have you been up to?" He asked feeling the joy enter his heart. They had two months to spend together. Maybe it wasn't that much, but for now it had to be enough.

Kurt shrugged. "Not much, to be honest." He said as they navigated through the parking lot. "School's hard, so I devote most of my time to studying and working." He was silent for a few seconds. "And you don't have to keep sending me money for rent." He added. "I have a new roommate."

Blaine smiled. "That's great! Who is it?"

"Her name is Amanda." Kurt said. "She's awesome, but her British accent can get annoying sometimes. I'm still trying to get used to that."

"She's British?" Blaine questioned unlocking his mother's car. He opened the trunk and loaded Kurt's suitcases.

"Yeah…"Kurt eyed the vehicle suspiciously and turned to Blaine. "Why are you using you mother's car? What's wrong with yours?" He asked, obviously confused.

Blaine's cheeks turned bright red and he rubbed the back of his neck before looking down at the ground. "Ugh…I had to sell it." Blaine finally said, still not making eye contact with Kurt.

"Blaine, look at me." Kurt said firmly. Blaine hesitantly lifted up his gaze and locked it with Kurt's. The taller boy crossed his arms over his chest. "Why did you have to sell it?"

"Baby stuff are expensive." Blaine said softly knowing what was to come next.

He was expecting Kurt to blow up and accuse him of being reckless and giving him money while Blaine needed it more than he did, but to Blaine's surprise the other boy's face softened and he rested his hand on Blaine's shoulder. "Blaine…you know you could have told me that you have trouble with money. I would have figured something out much sooner."

"Yeah, I know. I just didn't want you to be left without any money." Blaine said shrugging.

Kurt rolled his eyes. "Don't be ridiculous, Blaine." Kurt said. "You don't owe me any money. You should have told me about it sooner."

"I know and I am sorry, okay?" Blaine asked attempting to smile a little. "Can we not talk about this please now?"

Kurt looked for a moment as if he wanted to argue, but then he just nodded his head and smiled back. "Sure. What's done is done. Now get me home so that I can see my father. I'm dying to hug him."

They got into the car and Blaine pulled out of the parking lot. "So how's Rob?" Kurt asked after a few minutes of comfortable silence.

A huge grin made its way onto Blaine's face as he started talking about his son. He told Kurt all about his first mile stones, his improvements and how Blaine was adjusting to being a father. It was still tough, but he was managing. "I can't wait to meet him." Kurt said when Blaine was done talking. "I bet he's just as charming and adorable as his father."

Blaine's heart skipped a beat upon hearing Kurt call him charming and adorable. He giggled nervously feeling his cheeks start to heat. Despite everything in his mind screaming at him to stop, the hope was slowly starting to fill his whole being. Blaine knew it was stupid, naïve and foolish to let himself get lost in his own fantasies, but there was nothing he could do to stop himself from dreaming even though he knew way too well that he would eventually crash once again.

Loving Kurt was like dancing on the rooftop of the tallest skyscraper in New York. It was magical, breathtaking and a little scary. It was so much fun that Blaine didn't want to ever go down. Although each time he lost his balance he would fall down and crash against the hard sidewalk. But then against every sane thought running through his mind he would get off the ground, shake off the dust and climb back up just to start everything all over again and intentionally cause his own dead once more.

"Yeah, he's cute." Blaine finally said. "If not more than a little messy sometimes."

"I will come over tomorrow and you will show me just how awesome you are at being a dad." Kurt said smiling and rested his hand on Blaine's knee making a cold shiver ran down Blaine's spine.

"I'm not that great, you know?" Blaine said doing his best to focus on the road and ignore Kurt's burning touch for now. "Once I almost dropped him and well, my mother is way better than me at putting Rob to sleep." He paused for a moment. "What do you think about his name, anyway?"

Blaine glanced briefly at Kurt to find him raising his eyebrows in confusion. "What do you mean?"

The hazel-eyed boy shrugged his shoulders. "Do you like it or not?"

"It's cute, I guess." Kurt said.

Blaine rolled his eyes. "So you don't like it then."

"I didn't say that."

"But you don't like it?" Blaine asked glancing at Kurt.

"Alright. Maybe I wouldn't have named my own child like this, but it doesn't mean that it's a bad name." Kurt finally admitted carefully, clearly not wanting to make Blaine upset. "It's just a little bit dated." Blaine rolled his eyes. "At least he won't be made fun of for having a strange name like Braxton or Eustace."

"You're making this up. Who would actually name their child like this?" Blaine asked. When the dark-haired boy looked over at his best friend he saw him crack up and let out an adorable giggle.

"There is a girl in one of my classes and her son's name is actually Braxton." Kurt said laughing a little. "I mean she had to be really dragged up while signing the papers. The Braxton Hicks' contractions were probably the only thing that she remembered from her pregnancy at the moment and now the poor guy's scarred for life."

"Then I guess Robert is not such a bad name after all." Blaine said. "I mean I think the name's cute and it really suits him, but you're not the only person who doesn't like it. Sebastian doesn't either." Blaine paused shrugging. "I just thought that he was being ridiculous, but apparently the rest of the world agrees with him."

Kurt raised his eyebrows. "You consider me the rest of the world? I am flattered."

The mere thought of Kurt being happy that Blaine called him the rest of his world, almost the whole reality surrounding him, was enough to make his heart do a back flip. For the rest of the ride Blaine had a huge grin plastered to his face.

* * *

Later that day, back in the house Blaine couldn't stop himself from smiling and it was driving his mother crazy. The hazel-eyed boy had a strong feeling that she knew all about Blaine's feelings towards his best friend, but he would never say it out loud in fear that somehow it would get to Kurt and everything would go to hell. They had their chance a long time ago and they blew it, so there was no reason to reopen the old wounds and bleed to death.

Blaine's good mood vanished though when he was trying to get Robert to sleep. The little boy wouldn't stop crying without any apparent reason apart from not wanting to sleep. So Blaine gathered him into his arms and lied down in bed pulling him close to his chest. "Have I ever told you about my best friend, little guy?" He asked, praying that Rob would eventually stop crying. "I don't think so. And if I have then you probably don't remember it anyway."

Blaine lowered his voice to a soothing whisper and started recalling the tale of him befriending Kurt, of them becoming best friends and of Blaine falling hopelessly in love in the process. After some time Robert finally calmed down and started watching Blaine as if in curiosity.

After a few more minutes of Blaine talking Robert's eyelids dropped and his breath evened-out. The dark-haired boy stopped talking and softly kissed his son's forehead deciding that tonight he wanted to keep his baby in his arms and keep him safe and secure. Blaine was about to fall asleep as well, but then a very nice thought crept into his mind and wouldn't leave him alone. Tomorrow he was going to introduce to each other two of the most important people in his life.

* * *

When Blaine woke up the next morning Rob was sleeping soundly back in his own crib. Pamela must have taken him while Blaine was asleep. She wasn't a big fan of Blaine sleeping with Robert in his bed, since ever since Cooper was small she had an irrational fear of crashing her own child in her sleep.

Well, it wasn't exactly irrational, but sometimes Blaine just liked the feeling of holding his little boy close to his chest right before falling asleep. He felt as if it was exactly where he belonged. Like he was the most important person in someone's life. Like he couldn't be replaced by anyone.

Like for once in Blaine's life his little ball of happiness couldn't be snatched away from him as soon as it appeared.

Blaine checked on his little guy who for once turned out to be asleep. He smiled making a mental note to thank his mother for feeding him during the night. There was no way that Robert could get through the whole night without crying for a bottle. The dark-haired boy decided to use the time before the boy woke up to take a shower and dress up for the day.

As soon as Blaine realized that he wasn't a few states away from Kurt anymore, barely a few miles, a huge grin attached to his face and a happy energy started racing through his vines. Kurt was going to be the end of him eventually, Blaine knew that. One day he would get fed up with constantly waiting, hoping and being too stupid to take a chance and he would explode. The love would stop being able to contain in one body.

Would he be able to survive that? The day that seeing Kurt's smile will turn from the most beautiful thing ever into the most painful and horrific experience one could imagine? Blaine didn't know that. What he knew thought was that he was never going to be capable of loving someone the way he loved Kurt. Maybe he was being delusional and nothing like that would actually happen.

Maybe Blaine would keep burning and burning until all that was left were aches and ruins. And then he would end up empty and numb. And nothing would ever be able to touch him anymore. Not even Kurt and his sparkly blue eyes and perfect hair. He would be just an old memory, another ghost of the past.

That would the worst thing that could ever happen to Blaine. He didn't want his love for Kurt to burn out even if it was going to become more and more painful over time. Sometimes it was the only thing that kept him going and Blaine didn't want to lose it. He didn't want to wake up one day and realize that he didn't care about Kurt anymore. That it all was over.

But wouldn't it be easier this way? He had to admit that being away from Kurt for a few months was what his heart and soul needed to calm down and chill. The fire was tamed for a moment and Blaine had other things to worry about than unrequited love and his lack of ability to take a risk when Kurt was willing to take him.

Maybe if he asked Kurt now the other boy would still want him?

But it would bring more misery than it's worth. Everything would be turned upside down and Blaine didn't want to cause Kurt so much trouble. But thinking that there might be a part of Kurt's heart that despite everything belonged to Blaine, and to Blaine only was more than comforting. It was like taking a breath of fresh air after it had rained during an unusually hot day. It was like finally being given a bottle of cold water after walking through Sahara.

When Blaine was all dressed up, as if on cue Robert started crying demanding his attention. The dark-haired boy quickly approached the crib and took the baby into his arms checking what was wrong. It looked like he needed his diaper to be changed. When Blaine was done with it he took Rob downstairs and gave a bottle to him. He found a note stuck to the fridge from his mother saying that she needed to go to work early.

Quickly after that Robert fell back into sleep, so Blaine put him into the crib.

Before Blaine was able to make up his mind wherever he wanted to visit Kurt waking Rob up and tagging along or if he would ask Kurt to come over instead he heard the doorbell ring. It was 8 AM and it couldn't be anyone else.

The dark-haired boy practically ran to the front door grinning like a madman. He urgently unlocked the door and as soon as he saw Kurt his breath got caught up in his throat and he couldn't neither move nor say anything. Kurt looked both casual and elegant if that was even possible. He was wearing a simple plain shirt and a pair of skinny jeans, but the way he carried himself made him look like a model advertising a new line of clothes.

"Aren't you going to invite me in?" His words finally managed to snap Blaine out of his personal dreamland.

Blaine stepped awkwardly from foot to foot not really knowing why he was nervous all of sudden. "You don't even have to knock, you know? You've got the key after all." He said, but stepped aside letting the other boy walk past him.

Kurt rolled his eyes. "Yeah, but I wouldn't want to catch you half-naked or something." He grinned showing his perfect teeth while Blaine's cheeks turned bright red at the thought of Kurt seeing him without clothes. "What?" Kurt questioned upon seeing the weird look on Blaine's face.

The shorter boy cleared his throat awkwardly and rubbed his neck attempting to smile. "Nothing." He said. "You probably want to see Robert?"

Kurt's whole face lightened up making the whole world just a little more beautiful. "Yes! I'm dying to meet him!" Kurt said excitedly smiling as though he was going to see the president.

"Okay, let's just hope that he's awake then." Blaine said smiling. He couldn't contain his excitement. Robert was the cutest baby on Earth after all and Blaine couldn't wait for Kurt to see him for the first time.

The blue-eyed boy followed Blaine upstairs looking around as if searching for any changes that there might have occurred. The house was definitely less tidy and uptight as it used to be before Robert's arrival. Both Pamela and Blaine loved order (even if he was a little chaotic at times) so it was a lot to take in at first, but now they knew that not everything had to be perfectly under control all the time.

Blaine carefully swung the door to his bedroom open not wanting to startle Robert and wake him up in case he was still sleeping. "Oh, God." Blaine heard Kurt whisper so he turned around to see what his friend meant by that. Kurt was looking around the room with wide eyes and mouth hung open.

Blaine followed his gaze quickly realizing what the other boy was staring at. The room wasn't a complete mess but there were a few toys tossed around the floor. Robert didn't really know yet what to do with them, but Blaine always made sure to show him new things and maybe even teach him a new thing and sometimes he didn't bother to pick the toys up from the floor and put them back on the shelf. There were even a few pictures of Robert that Blaine couldn't help himself but print and put into frames.

"What's wrong?" Blaine asked, not able to understand why his best friend seemed so shocked and surprised upon seeing a few toys and pictures. Kurt seemed to snap out of his thoughts, he blinked a few times, shook his head and turned his face towards Blaine.

"I just-" He began shrugging. "Everything looks so different and yet the same." Kurt said, barely above a whisper. "I still remember hanging out with you, Sebastian and Quinn here after school." A nostalgic smile appeared on his face. "I remember how we would all lay down on the bed and even though it was far from comfortable it was so nice and perfect. We would then watch a movie and both you and Quinn would fall asleep halfway though and Sebastian and me would plot evil plans against the two of you."

"I didn't know about that." Blaine said with a sad smirk.

"Now it hit me that it's all gone and our friendship is over." Blaine opened his mouth to protest, but Kurt didn't let him finish. "I don't mean you and me. Even though it's not the same I believe we'll be able to stay friends for the rest of our lives, but I don't think it will ever come back to the way it was. You have a kid, Blaine." Kurt said seriously. "You're a real adult now with responsibilities and why would you find time for your old friends? I barely talk to Sebastian since he's too busy running the company or whatever it is that he's doing and Quinn…well….she doesn't really want to keep in touch with any of us after what happened."

"So much has changed since last year." Blaine summed up, and despite any sane thought running though his mind reached out his hand and gently took Kurt's into his. "But we're doing okay, right? Changes are good, don't you think? They let you get to know yourself better, reach your limits."

"I don't know." Kurt said and for a second his gaze traveled down to their joined hands, but he quickly looked back at Blaine. "Why would a change be good if it means losing your best friends?"

Blaine didn't have a good answer to that, so he just shrugged letting the heavy silence fall between them. They stood like that for a few seconds and only then when Blaine realized that they were still holding hands he let go and slowly approached the crib in which Robert was sleeping soundly.

He smiled seeing his little boy and turned to look at Kurt who still looked slightly sad, but his eyes were full of wonder and silent amazement as he stared at Blaine's son. "I know how hard it is to adapt to the changes, but you know what? I like this change." A mixture of feelings appeared on Kurt's face. "I don't like the fact that we don't live in the same city anymore, but I'm proud that I can call myself Robert's father." He paused for a moment, noting that Kurt still didn't look very happy. "But I'm not about to spend the rest of my life in here. I just have to figure out how to get back on my feet and be able to support both myself and Robert. Then I'm back in New York with you."

The corners of Kurt's cheeks turned up and his eyes lighted up a bit. "Can you promise me that?"

Blaine smiled back. "Yes, I promise. But maybe you won't want the little old me after all this time." He said jokingly, but Kurt apparently took it very seriously as he surged forward, wrapped his arms around Blaine's neck taking him by surprise and buried his face into Blaine's shoulder.

"How could I ever stop wanting you around, Blaine? You're everything. You're everything that I could ever ask for." Kurt said sincerely gripping tightly Blaine's shirt. The shorter boy was sure that his heart stopped being for a moment as he wrapped his arms around Kurt's body.

And just like every single time, Blaine let himself dance on that roof, not caring that another deadly crush was creeping up at him.


	8. Chapter 7

**August, 2014**

* * *

Spending so much time with Kurt made Blaine feel like a teenager again. Sure, he still had to care for Robert but Kurt convinced him that if Pamela was so happy to stay with the little boy every once in a while maybe Blaine should accept her offer. So since the hazel-eyed boy wanted to spend as much time with Kurt as he could he agreed eventually.

Unfortunately sooner that they realized two months turned into barely three weeks. Even though they still weren't anything more than best friends Kurt's bright smile made his heart flutter and his knees go weak, so Blaine didn't want anything to change.

"Hey, you seem worried. What's wrong?" Kurt asked from his spot beside Blaine. They were watching a movie while Robert was sleeping upstairs. The hazel-eyed boy didn't even know what the movie was about. He zoned out a while ago when the main hero had to leave his girlfriend to go to a war. It made him think that just in a matter of weeks they would have to part again, this time probably even for longer. Kurt didn't have that much money and he couldn't afford flying back to his hometown very often.

Blaine turned his eyes away from the TV screen and looked over at Kurt. "I just…I started thinking that in three weeks you're going away again." He paused for a moment willing himself to keep his emotions at bay. "I'm going to miss you so much, you know?"

Kurt smiled sadly and moved closer to Blaine taking his tanned hand into his pale one. "I'm going to miss you too, Blaine." He said softly. His blue eyes were sparkling but it wasn't because he was crying. It was because of the strength behind this statement. It was clear that Kurt wanted Blaine to know that he really meant what he was saying. "We won't lose touch with each other. We're so much stronger than that." He rested his head on Blaine's shoulder and looked up at him hopefully. "And besides, who is going to stop you from going with me?"

"Stop, please." Blaine said feeling that if Kurt kept asking him to do that he would break down and turn into a mess which really wasn't needed right now. Kurt's eyes turned sad and he looked away. "God, you have no idea how much I wish I could just do that." He paused for a moment waiting for the other boy to look at him again. When he did Blaine could see that he understood so he continued talking. "When you become a parent you have to get rid of this part of you that wants to be spontaneous and reckless. He always comes first. I can't make decisions that could possibly make his life worse. I have to be careful."

"I know." Kurt said curing into his side. Blaine stopped breathing for a moment. Kurt wasn't making this easier on him. Blaine kept thinking that if maybe he came back to New York they would finally admit to each other that they have feelings for one another and maybe, just maybe something amazing would come out of this. But Blaine wasn't sure if Kurt had any romantic feelings for him anymore. Maybe the affection had burned out over the months and Kurt didn't see him as anything more than a friend. "I just sometimes wish that life didn't have to be so damn difficult. I have enough struggle picking out my clothes in the morning…why does the fate want us to come through something like that?"

"It's not fate." Blaine said firmly. "I can't blame fate for my own stupidity. I mean I don't regret having Robert but it was me who had sex with Quinn. No one made me." He said.

"Alright. But you _will_ eventually return to New York. That's what matters." Kurt said, as if trying to convince himself that it was really going to happen. "Do you know when it might be?"

Blaine had been thinking about this a lot recently. "My plan is to find a job when the summer ends." He paused for a moment to watch Kurt's reaction. While Blaine's mom didn't seem excited about this idea Kurt looked just curious. "And then if everything goes as planned maybe next year, when I have some money saved up, I will be able to move back to New York."

When Kurt still looked sad and deflated Blaine tried to comfort both himself and him. "It's not such a long time. You will be too busy with schoolwork to even notice that I'm not there."

The blue-eyed boy smiled sadly. "No, I won't. I miss your presence every day."

Blaine opened his mouth to say something wise and comforting but he found himself speechless. So instead he just squeezed Kurt's hand tightly and smiled reassuringly knowing that it was far less than enough to convince himself and much less Kurt that they would be alright without each other.

* * *

Blaine started wondering if maybe from then his friendship with Kurt was supposed to consist of constantly saying good-bye to each other. Blaine kept telling himself that after all if everything went according to plan next year he would take Robert and move back in with Kurt. But by now Blaine had learned that planning so far ahead wasn't necessary a good idea.

All these thoughts were running through his mind as Blaine walked along the street pushing a stroller with his son sleeping peacefully inside in front of him. The days were unusually hot so if Blaine didn't want Robert to get a heat stroke he had to take him on walks either in the morning or in the late evening. Sometimes if Robert woke him up early he would drink a cup of strong coffee and leave the house with him but more often than not evenings were a better option for him.

Blaine loved watching sun slowly disappear below the horizon. It looked like the sky was set on fire and every color was turning more and more dead with each passing minute. And then the streetlamps would illuminate everything making it all look like a scenery from a creepy movie.

Today unfortunately the sky was covered by heavy grey clouds so there was no spectacular lightning. The weather matched Blaine's mood perfectly. In a little more than a week Kurt would go away and Blaine would have to get used to living without him again.

The sound of a car engine pulled Blaine out of his thoughts. He saw a familiar car slowing down. Blaine was both surprised and happy at the same time, so he didn't really know how to react. The vehicle stopped right next to him and the engine died. Soon the door opened revealing Sebastian Smythe. He looked like the definition of summer. The boy was wearing a navy blue polo shirt and a pair of simple shorts.

"Hello, Blaine." Sebastian said smirking.

"What are you doing here?" Blaine asked, surprised upon seeing his best friend.

Sebastian raised his eyebrows in challenge. "Aren't you happy to see me?"

"Of course I'm happy." Blaine said finally allowing himself to express how excited he felt that now he had two of his best friends back in town. "I'm just surprised I guess." He said. "It seems to me that coming uninvited and unannounced is becoming your thing."

Sebastian laughed glancing at the little boy sleeping in the stroller. "How's he anyway? He's grown a lot since I last saw him."

"He's doing alright." Blaine answered. Then he looked over at Sebastian's car. "You know you can't park here, right?"

Sebastian rolled his eyes waving his hand dismissively. "I don't care."

"Of course." Blaine said. Sebastian had enough money so that he could allow himself to ignore these kind of things.

"But if you don't want me to get a ticket so much maybe we could go somewhere?" Sebastian questioned leaning against the car.

Blaine gestured at the stroller. "As you can see I can't really go anywhere at the moment."

"I'm fine with just going to your house then." Sebastian said.

"Alright." Blaine said, happy that he would get to spend some time with the other boy again.

"Can I give you a ride?" The green-eyed boy questioned.

Blaine's glance landed once again on the stroller in front of him. "It's not that far and besides it's not that easy to get this thing into a car."

"Oh, Blaine. You're making your life so much more complicated that it needs to be." Sebastian said. "Can you take him out of that thing?" He said pointing at the little boy.

"Don't you know that you never wake up a sleeping baby?" Blaine asked folding his arms against his chest in false annoyance. Sebastian rolled his eyes once more groaning in frustration. "Ugh, alright. I still need to feed him once we come home." Blaine took Robert out of the stroller and pulled him close to his chest. Of course the little boy quickly woke up and Blaine had to calm him down so that he wouldn't start crying and alarm the whole neighborhood.

Sebastian somehow managed to get the stroller into the trunk and they both got into the car. Blaine was aware of the fact that driving like this, without a car safety seat was stupid and irresponsible but the car ride was going to be less than five minutes long so he hoped that nothing bad was going to happen during that time.

As they started driving down the street it suddenly occurred to Blaine that Sebastian and Kurt would have to see each other at some point if the green-eyed boy was going to stay for longer than a few hours. It would surely be awkward between the two of them so Blaine decided to bring it up to the other boy.

"Kurt's home for the summer." Blaine said looking over at Sebastian to see if the other boy had anything against it.

"That's cool." Sebastian said. It wasn't sarcastic. It seemed like the green-eyed boy was sincerely happy to spend some time with his ex-boyfriend. "I haven't seen him since graduation. It will be almost like the good old times, huh? It's a shame that Quinn's not here."

"Don't you think it might be a bit awkward between the two of you?" Blaine asked carefully.

"No, why?" Sebastian questioned glancing for a second at his friend.

"I mean…you were dating for a few months and then you broke up." Blaine said. "Don't you think it's a little strange to hang out with your ex?"

Sebastian laughed shortly. "Blaine, you watch way too much TV. Not everything is as complicated as you think it is." He paused for a moment and Blaine could see both good and bad memories flooding into his mind. "For a while I thought that maybe this relationship would work out. And for some time it was really great but then I realized that it was just friendship. Nothing more. Yes, Kurt was and still is physically attractive to me but to have sex with a nice looking guy I can just go to a club. We both came to a conclusion that we will never be anything more than friends and that's fine by me." For a while they didn't say anything. "Now at least I know that you should never get together with your best friend because it can lead to a tragedy. We were lucky that in our case nothing nearly as dramatic happened."

These words hit Blaine. They really did. The hazel-eyed boy had known all along that the feelings he had for Kurt were nothing more than a childish fantasy but he kept hoping that at some point they would both realize that what they had was far more special than friendship. But now upon hearing these truthful words Blaine wasn't so sure that it was the case. Maybe it would actually bring him back to reality.

"Can I crush at your place tonight?" Sebastian suddenly asked changing the subject. "My mom's away for the weekend and while I'm totally not afraid of being alone I would prefer not to be all on my own in that big house."

"Sure." Blaine said immediately. "How long are you staying for anyway?"

"One week only." Sebastian said sadly parking the car in front of the house. "My dad's very strict and he doesn't want me to miss too much work."

"Oh," Blaine said. He hoped that maybe after Kurt's departure Sebastian would take away some of the pain with his snarky remarks and silly sense of humor but unfortunately both of them would leave at the same exact time.

Blaine really hated saying good-bye.

* * *

When the next day Kurt and Sebastian finally saw each other after such a long time it turned out that it _was_ a little awkward after all. Sebastian seemed alright for the most part but Kurt was tense and it looked like he wanted to get out of the room as soon as he could. They went to the movies together and Blaine was stuck between the two of them. The hazel-eyed boy kept trying to make the situation better by making inside jokes that only they understood and recalling their shared memories but Kurt didn't seem to relax even a bit.

It was a very difficult situation and when in the middle of the movie Sebastian suddenly started reaching out for Kurt and trying to speak to him with Blaine in the middle seat it became even more weird. Then the blue-eyed boy seemed to finally understand that Sebastian wanted him to follow him out of the cinema so they both stood up and exited the room leaving Blaine completely alone.

Blaine felt weird and stupid. The rational part of his brain kept reminding him that the two of them needed to figure some things out on their own but he couldn't stop himself from wondering what they were really talking about. His stupid, hopeless heart obviously wanted him to suffer as it kept sending images into his mind of the two of them kissing. What if despite his words Sebastian wanted to get back together with Kurt?

No, they surely were over each other. Sebastian was clear about this. But still Blaine felt left out and forgotten. They could have at least told him that they were going. For the next thirty minutes Blaine couldn't focus on the movie playing in front of his eyes since his friends hadn't come back. He wanted to go after them and see what was taking them so long but he didn't want to be this kind of friend that wanted to be in the centre of attention all the time.

When the movie ended Blaine slowly exited the cinema together with other people. When he looked outside he noticed his two friends sitting on a bench and laughing together. Feeling a little out of place Blaine walked over to the two of them and cleared his throat gaining their attention. When Kurt's glance landed on him Blaine notice a few tears in his eyes from laughing too hard. Kurt quickly wiped them away.

"Sorry for leaving you there alone but we had to solve a few things on our own." Sebastian said.

"Oh," Was all Blaine said. Then he realized that his weird behavior could possibly ruin the moment so he forced himself to smile. "So everything's alright between the two of you now?" He asked hopefully. Even though he was still curious as to what they were talking about he didn't want to get the information out of them if they wanted to keep it to themselves. He was happy that everything was fine now.

"Yeah, everything's awesome." Sebastian said. "Right, Kurt?"

"Perfect." Kurt said instantly. "Can we get something to eat now? I'm starving."

"Yeah, I'd like to eat something too." Blaine said hoping that from now on there would be no awkwardness between them and they could enjoy the week that they had together.

They went to their favorite Italian restaurant and ordered pizza. "So what are your plans after the summer ends?" Sebastian asked Blaine while they waited for the pizza. "Don't you want to return to studying? You could sign up for some courses here."

"Not yet." Blaine said avoiding their eyes. The boy knew that his best friends thought that he was wasting his life by not going to college at the time being but he knew that what he was planning to do was right. "I want to get a job and help my mom with supporting the three of us. And I want to save up some money so that next year I can come back to New York and move back in with Kurt." He finished smiling shyly at Kurt. The blue-eyed boy returned the smile resting his arms on top of the table.

"You know that my offer still stands, right?" Sebastian asked softly. "Canada is not such a bad place despite all the jokes."

Kurt looked at Sebastian with confusion and then back at Blaine. "Wait, what offer, Blaine?"

The hazel-eyed boy opened his mouth to answer but Sebastian apparently concluded that he should reply to this question. "When I visited him a few weeks ago I told him that if he wanted he could move to Vancouver with me. I could help him and Robert financially until Blaine figured something out." He looked at Blaine pointedly. "But he said no because he's too proud to accept my help."

"Don't get me wrong, Sebastian." Blaine rushed to explain. "I really appreciate your help but I couldn't live knowing that I owe you so much."

Sebastian rolled his green eyes. "Oh, please." He leaned his back against the backrest and folded his arms against his chest. "You wouldn't owe me anything. I would never ask you to return the money. I would be happy to have you in the city with me." He said. "And yet you keep refusing." He paused for a moment. "Unless…maybe you have changed you mind? And if not maybe you could talk some sense into this idiot." Sebastian said directing the last part at Kurt.

"I…" Kurt began awkwardly obviously not knowing what to say. "I mean you refused my help so I am not really surprised that you don't want to go to Vancouver either." Kurt said. He paused for a moment looking between Sebastian and Blaine. "But maybe this is not such a bad idea after all." Kurt stated carefully. "You could spend the next year in Canada, find a job and then…" He opened his mouth and closed a few times until the words finally came out of it. "…if you still felt like this is not a place where you want to spend your life you could move to New York according to your original plan."

"Think about it, Blaine." Sebastian said seriously. "Kurt's right. Living for at least a year in Vancouver would be so much better than spending all this time in Ohio. Don't you think?"

"No." Blaine said firmly. "Why do you think that you know what's best for me? I am a father, not you." Sebastian kept looking straight into his eyes with confidence but Kurt looked down at his hands avoiding Blaine's gaze. "I was left by the mother of my child. I had to drop out of college. Not you. So you don't have the right to tell me how to live my life."

"Well, if you are about to do something stupid then as your friend this _is_ my right to tell you what to do." Sebastian said raising his voice a little. A few people from the tables surrounding them looked at them with curiosity and concern.

"I am done with this conversation." Blaine said standing from the table. "If you want to keep patronizing me and telling me what to do then we have nothing to talk about." Blaine turned around and started walking towards the exit.

"Blaine, wait!" He head Sebastian's yell but he ignored it and just kept walking. He pushed the door open and slammed it loudly behind him not caring that people were staring at him. Finally, when he was out of the restaurant he stopped walking and put his hands on his hips closing his eyes. Blaine took a few deep breaths trying to calm himself down.

"Blaine, he didn't mean it like this." He heard Kurt's voice behind him. Blaine slowly turned around to find Kurt staring back at him with concern evident in his expressive eyes. "He is just trying to help you. We both are. You can't blame us for that."

"I know." Blaine said softly feeling the tears welling up in his eyes. "I know that you mean well but I want to make all of these decisions on my own."

Kurt smiled sadly. "I understand but please, tell me. Why do you really not want to go to neither New York nor Vancouver? Your mom could start sending you money just like before. And in Vancouver you would have Sebastian and so much possibilities."

Blaine closed his eyes for a moment not wanting to start crying. "I'm scared." He finally said looking at Kurt. "I'm scared of not being able to take care of my child the way he deserves to be taken care of." Blaine said honestly. "Now I have my mother and while it's not easy at least I have her to help me or give me an advise. I don't feel ready yet to leave this place and move somewhere else." Kurt walked closer to him and took Blaine's hand into his rubbing his thumb over the other boy's palm. "And I need this one year to prepare myself. Then I will have my own money and it will be so much easier. Robert will be older and he won't need me quite so often." He paused for a moment looking into Kurt's eyes and searching for understanding. "Do you get it now?"

"Yes." Kurt said pulling Blaine close to his body and wrapping his arms around him. "I'm so sorry this happened to you." He whispered into Blaine's ear. "I don't mean Robert. I can see how much you love him. But you shouldn't do everything on your own. Quinn should be here by your side."

"I don't blame her for not being ready." Blaine said honestly. "It was my decision to keep Robert. I wasn't forced by anyone."

"I know but still." Kurt said. "You should have someone doing all this with you."

"I do." Blaine rested his chin on Kurt's shoulder looking straight ahead. "I have my mother and I have you." Then the door to the restaurant flew open and Blaine saw Sebastian's worried face and the guilt in his eyes. "And I have Sebastian." He added after a moment.

When the green-eyed boy approached the duo Blaine pulled away from Kurt and fell into Sebastian's arms instead. The taller boy pulled him close to his chest and kissed the top of his head. "I'm so sorry, Blaine." He said. "The truth is that I just really want to have you by my side and it's killing me that you're not just a few streets away. I miss you every day."

"I miss you too." Blaine said instantly. "Both of you." They pulled away and he saw tear tracks on Sebastian's face which made him feel slightly guilty. "But for now my life's a bit shitty and we all have to accept that and move on."

* * *

They didn't waste the time they had left on any more fights. It was clear that they wouldn't be able to meet all together in a while so they did everything they could to make every moment enjoyable and memorable. They didn't really do anything extraordinary or extremely eventful but they did go on long walks and talked for hours about everything and nothing. Sebastian and Kurt often slept at Blaine's house so that they could spend the whole nights watching their favorite movies and talk even more.

For that time Blaine asked his mother to take care of Robert for longer periods of time than usual because he knew that only in a few days two of his best friends would be gone again and he really wanted to devote to the as much time as possible.

Unfortunately the day of their departure finally came and Blaine was disappointed to find out that they were going to leave at the same time. Their flights were just an hour apart.

The drive to the airport was filled with silence. It seemed like neither of them really knew what to say. Everything had been said and there was nothing to add. They all knew how much they meant to each other and how much they would miss spending time together. All of them regretted only that they couldn't share this time with Quinn but maybe that was even for the best. Apparently Quinn still hadn't found what she was searching for and she still wasn't ready to be a mother to Robert. For now Blaine was alright without her help.

When Blaine parked the car on the parking lot they stayed there for a couple of minutes in absolute silence. Finally Blaine looked over at Kurt who was sitting right beside him and smiled sadly at him. The other boy tried to smile back but it resulted in his eyes filling with tears. His bottom lip started trembling and it took him another few minutes to calm down. Neither Blaine nor Sebastian commented on Kurt's silent breakdown.

They got out of the car at last and took their suitcases out of the trunk. The good-bye with Sebastian was filled with tears and promises that they would see each other again as soon as it was possible but only when Kurt and Blaine were left alone the hazel-eyed boy finally lost it.

The tears were rolling down his cheeks and he couldn't control his emotions. It was obvious that Kurt was barely holding it together as well but he didn't start crying this time. Instead he wrapped Blaine in a tight hug holding him tightly. "It's alright, Blaine. It's gonna be alright." Kurt kept repeating as if trying to comfort both himself and Blaine. They stayed like that in silence for a long time until Kurt started speaking again, the volume of his voice barely above a whisper. "Just one word and I will stay. All you have to do is ask me and I'll do it."

"Don't do this." Blaine said still holding tightly onto Kurt. "Don't say this because I might actually do it."

"Then do it."

"Kurt-"

"Just ask me to stay."

"I can't"

"Yes, you can." Kurt said firmly pulling away enough to look into his friend's eyes. "I'm giving you the permission. Make my stay."

Blaine shook his head. "No, stop saying these things. You're not thinking straight."

"I am!"

"No, you're not." Blaine said. "You should go." The blue-eyed boy still had some time but Blaine just couldn't stand it anymore. Just one more second and he might actually fall to his knees and beg Kurt to stay.

They pulled away. "Are you sure?" Kurt asked seriously looking straight into Blaine's eyes.

"Yes." Blaine said firmly without hesitation even though it was beyond painful to him.

"Okay then. If that's what you want." Kurt said wiping away a few tears from his cheeks. He leaned forward and softly pressed his lips onto Blaine's forehead. "See you in a few." Kurt said smiling sadly.

"Yeah, see you." Blaine replied.

Slowly Kurt turned around and started walking though the crowd of people and Blaine found himself wishing for him to stop and run back into his arms. Unfortunately Kurt just kept walking straight ahead.


	9. Chapter 8

**December, 2014**

* * *

Blaine quickly walked through the parking lot wanting to find himself in the cozy book shop as fast as he could. It was snowing heavily and despite Blaine's affection for winter he preferred watching white scenery from inside rather than having his hair and clothes soaked. He finally entered the shop closing the door behind him.

"Oh, hello, Blaine." The hazel-eyed boy looked up to see a young woman holding a pile of books in her hands and smiling warmly at Blaine. "You're late today." She pointed out glancing at the clock hanging on the wall above their heads.

"I know." Blaine said taking off the wet shoes. He slipped his feet into a clean pair of sneakers and pulled off his warm coat. "But the bus was fifteen minutes late and I couldn't be here on time." Blaine said reluctantly. He hated being late because while his employer and colleagues were friendly and understanding Blaine was still afraid that one day it would lead to getting him fired.

"Are you going to buy all of these books?" Blaine asked looking at the books in Mellissa's hands.

The girl rolled her eyes. "Of course not, Blaine. I just need them to do my homework." The place was officially a book shop but if someone wanted to just read a book without buying it they could sit on one of the comfortable sofas and read for as long as they liked. "But I may buy one or two fantasy books."

"Well, I surely hope so." Blaine said. "You constantly come here and yet you've only bought like three books."

"Four to be exact." The girl corrected him winking. Blaine shook his head at her in amusement as he watched her find an empty armchair and start her work. The hazel-eyed boy walked up the staircase and began his workday.

Even though working in a bookshop was far from being his dream job it was alright. Blaine was a fan of reading books himself so he quickly found himself fascinated by all the different genres of literature and kinds of people surrounding him. Blaine liked contact with people and he was aware of the fact that he also needed to have some contact with his peers so it was a good solution as a lot of students from the local university kept coming there to buy books or just read.

Mellissa was one of these people. She had become some sort of friend for Blaine. They didn't hung out outside out of the bookshop since neither of them really had time for that, but every time the girl came she would talk to Blaine for as long as she could.

Blaine hadn't wasted any time since Sebastian and Kurt left. Almost instantly he found a job so that he could start saving up money for New York. He was aware of the fact that even with some money living with Robert in New York was not going to be a piece of cake, however Blaine knew that his place was not in Ohio and he was determined to make his dreams come true and come back to Kurt who obviously wanted him to be there with him.

That thought kept him going more than anything else. Despite the fact that Blaine loved both his mother and son it was still difficult to get by sometimes. Blaine liked challenges and adventures and now it seemed like every single day was exactly the same as the one before. It was only for a few more months, the boy kept telling himself but he was eager to just leave and never come back.

But every time Blaine looked into Robert's wide open hazel eyes he knew that all the sacrifices were going to be worth it in the end if he was doing all of it for this little guy. When there wasn't many customers Blaine stood up from his chair and walked into the children section letting his gaze land on each book. He was a little ashamed of himself that he still didn't have a gift for Robert for Christmas. Some could argue that the little boy was only nine months old and he didn't really understand what was happening around him but Blaine was convinced that no matter what he deserved to get something.

When Blaine finally found a book that he thought would satisfy his son he happily purchased it and packed into his backpack. He only needed to buy wrapping paper on his way home and then he would be able to put it under the Christmas tree. "What do you have there?" Blaine looked up to see Mellissa watching him with her brows furrowed.

"A gift for my son for Christmas." Blaine said with a small smile.

Mellissa didn't look impressed. "Blaine, I would like to remind you that your son can't read yet."

Blaine rolled his eyes at her. "Yes, I am aware of that. Thank you, Mellissa." He sat back down on the chair and rested his arms on the counter. "But I want my son to know the importance of reading as soon as it's possible." He still could remember despising books in his early years and Blaine didn't want Robert to follow in his footsteps. "Anyway, what are your plans for Christmas?" Blaine asked changing the subject.

The corners of the girl's mouth turned up into a smile as the girl brushed away her hair from her forehead. "I am going to spend it with my parents and two brothers." She said and then bit his bottom lip looking away from Blaine. "And then Franc is going to take me somewhere…and what can I say? Considering that it's during Christmas time I think it's safe to assume that it possibly might be a date." She said obviously trying not to grin like a maniac.

"That's awesome, Mel." Blaine said genuinely even though he felt a pang of sadness and jealously.

"I know." The girl said with a dreamy look on her face. "Alright," She said when her eyes became more alert and she seemed to be pulled out of her fantasy world. She put the previously read books on the counter. "I've really got to go now." She kissed him on the cheek. "Merry Christmas, Blaine!"

"Merry Christmas, Mellissa!" Blaine replied cheerfully watching as the girl exited the book store.

* * *

"Rob, please, you can't bite it." Blaine said pleadingly taking the book from the little boy by force. His face instantly scrunched up and he started crying. Blaine sighed checking the time once again. "I really don't have time to calm you down, buddy." Blaine said sitting down cross-legged in front of his son. "Daddy has a very important meeting in a few minutes and you really have to stop crying. Right now." He said peacefully hoping against hope that his son would listen to him.

Of course the boy just kept crying making Blaine feel panicked. He raised to his feet, took Robert into his arms and started rocking him while pacing the room back and forth. While he had a chance Blaine's gaze landed on the picture of Kurt and it almost made him start crying as well. In moments like this, when everything seemed to be falling apart and it looked like Robert was going to keep crying for eternity, Blaine would think of all the lost chances and broken promises and how much he wanted to be in a completely different part of the country.

Suddenly Blaine felt his cell phone buzz in his pocket. Suspecting who it was the boy took the device out of his pocket and unlocked the screen to find as predicted a text message from Kurt.

 _Kurt: Where are you? I've been waiting for ten minutes_

The little boy was still crying but seeing as nothing was currently working Blaine sat down on his bed with him pulled close to his chest and turned on the laptop. He logged on Skype and saw that Kurt in fact was active.

"Hi." Blaine said once Kurt's face appeared on the computer screen. As soon as the hazel-eyed boy saw his best friend, the crying baby stopped bothering him and he took in all that Kurt was enjoying the rare moment when they could see each other even if it was though a computer.

"A hard day?" Kurt questioned as his gaze travelled to the little boy still crying his lungs out.

"Pretty much." Blaine said looking down at his son and rocking him. "Nothing seems to calm him down recently. I don't really know what to do."

Kurt smiled sadly. "I'm sorry, Blaine." When the hazel-eyed boy looked at Kurt he could see that he really felt sorry for him, that he was saying it because he meant it. Blaine hated when people pitied him.

"The joys of parenthood." Blaine said trying to play it off as a joke. Kurt didn't look convinced. The way he kept looking between Blaine and Robert suggested that he really wanted to somehow help his friend, make it all easier for him. "I'm so glad we can talk." Blaine said trying to change the subject. Luckily Robert's cries had quieted down a bit and it was easier for Blaine and Kurt to hear each other without speaking loudly.

"Me too." Kurt said smiling softly. "I really miss you."

"It's a shame that you couldn't come back to Ohio for Christmas. I'm sure your dad misses you like crazy." Blaine concluded feeling a pang of sadness upon remembering that a year ago they were all together, enjoying Christmas.

"He does." Kurt said shrugging. "But there really isn't much I can do. I don't have the money right now to afford a plane ticket." Both of them fell into silence thinking of everything they would be doing together in this very moment if Kurt only was there. "Anyway, tell me about your first Christmas with Robert." Kurt said smiling slightly.

"It's weird." Blaine admitted with a smile looking down at the little boy and then back at Kurt. "But also magical. You know, it was always just me and my mother so now I have to get used to the fact that thanks to this little guy our house is much louder." Blaine knew that once upon a time their house was full of laughter and people who loved each other but before he could really remember anything it was gone and there was just him and Pamela alone.

"What about the book you have bought for him?" Kurt asked propping his head up on his fist.

"Well, of course he didn't understand what that was for so he started chewing on it." He laughed shortly. "Of course I shouldn't have been expecting anything else, but I still strongly believe that one day when I read it to him he will understand and ask me to read more."

"I'm sure he will." Kurt said with a dreamy smile on his face.

"What about your Christmas?" Blaine asked, eager to know how his best friend had been the past few days. "Was it fun or did Amanda manage to drive you crazy with her accent?"

Kurt laughed. "No, she's great. We made a Christmas dinner together and invited a few friends for a small gathering. We talked, got drunk and danced a little. I liked it." He paused for a moment, the smile disappeared from his face and he became serious. "It made me stop thinking for a moment that you're not here with me." His voice was soft and full of sorrow. "I'm counting down the days until our dream comes true again, you know?"

Blaine's heart skipped a beat upon hearing these touching words. He felt sad that Kurt was upset because of him but at the same time Blaine was happy to hear that his best friend wanted to have him by his side so much. "I can't wait for that." Blaine said honestly looking straight into Kurt's eyes and finding there a trace of hope but also uncertainty.

"Same here." Kurt lowered his gaze and exhaled loudly. "But I'm also afraid that it might not actually happen." He said softly. Blaine was about to ask what he meant by that but the other boy kept talking. "What if you decide that you're still not ready to let go of your mother's help after all? And what if something else happens that will keep you from coming back to New York?"

"I don't know what the future holds." Blaine said honestly. Kurt looked up at him and the dark haired boy could see shiny tears in his light blue eyes. "But I really want to focus on the positives and not keep wondering what might possibly happen."

"I know but I can't help feeling this way." Kurt admitted. "You're my best friend. I want you to be with me."

Blaine thought that he might start crying from the amount of emotions he was feeling in that moment. He wanted to promise Kurt that he would come to him but he knew he couldn't. He really didn't know how his life was going to change in the nearest few months. He could only hope for the best and maybe, later than expected and with a few adventures along the way, his dream was going to happen. Blaine knew that it was naïve and stupid but he couldn't help hoping that maybe they were finally going to admit their feelings to each other and live happily ever after as a family.

It was foolish.

And it was going to destroy him one day.

But for now Blaine wanted to live this fantasy not caring about the consequences.


	10. Chapter 9

**February, 2015**

* * *

Blaine still couldn't quite believe that Robert was old enough to walk on his own. He kept looking at his wide and curious hazel eyes wondering how it's possible that it had already been a year. A whole year since his life turned upside down.

"Is Kurt coming for Rob's birthday?" Pamela asked casually while chopping vegetables for dinner.

Blaine shook his head looking away from his son who was currently very absorbed with his teddy bear. The little boy was sitting on a carpet and doing something that could only be described as torturing the poor plush toy. "Unfortunately not. He really wanted to be here but he has a ton of schoolwork." Blaine said regretfully. He wanted to share this important day with Kurt but he kept telling himself that in a year they would surely be together. "So it seems that it's just gonna be the three of us." Blaine concluded. He was a little mad at himself that Robert wouldn't spend his first birthday surrounded by many people but he tried to keep in mind that the little boy wouldn't even remember it and he and Pamela loved him enough to make this day magical for him.

Despite the fact that Pamela was obviously also sad about this she smiled brightly and turned around to face her son. "Well, we are going to bake the cake and make sure that this little guy has the best day of his life anyway." The woman wiped her hands on her colorful apron and slowly approached the little boy. "Right, sweetie?" Robert turned his huge eyes at her and giggled. Pamela started tickling him making both Robert and Blaine laugh. "See? Robert doesn't need anybody else since his grandma is his favorite person anyway."

She let go of Robert and walked over to her son resting her hand on his shoulder in a comforting gesture. "I'm sorry Kurt can't come." Pamela said softly seeing Blaine's sad face. "I know how important he is for you." The woman didn't say anything else but she didn't have to. Blaine knew what her words really meant. He could see it in her light green eyes. The woman apparently knew how much Blaine loved his best friend and she was aware of the fact that this love wasn't exactly platonic. "So, will you help me with the cake? We need to get started if we want everything to be ready for tomorrow." She said cheerfully.

"Sure." Blaine answered instantly. Maybe having his mind occupied with something would make him stop dwelling on how much he missed Kurt. They started working on the cake together talking lightly about what was happening in their lives. Blaine didn't have that much to talk about since his job was pretty much the same every single day but he listened carefully to Pamela who loved describing funny situations with her students.

Blaine could only imagine how challenging teaching high school students was. Those teenagers still didn't know for sure who they were and they tried to figure themselves out in many different ways. Blaine missed these days sometimes. He didn't miss studying or stressful exams but he missed being able to see his best friends face to face every day. No matter what these days would never come back and they would probably never be able to see each other as often as they did back then. It was unfair and Blaine had trouble accepting it but there wasn't really much he could do to change the way life worked.

When Blaine and his mother were almost done with the cake for now they heard the doorbell ring. "Go see who it is and I'll finish." Pamela said smiling encouragingly at him. Blaine raised his eyebrows in question sensing a trick.

"Okay." Blaine said softly deciding that instead of asking her what it was all about he could as well go and see for himself. The dark-haired boy washed his hands and started walking towards the door not knowing what to expect to find on the other side.

He stood in front of the wooden door for a few seconds trying not to think that it was Kurt. Blaine knew that it was impossible but he couldn't help the hope building up inside of him. He didn't want to disappoint himself though so he tried to get this thought out of his mind even though it seemed impossible. When the doorbell rang again Blaine quickly unlocked the door and with a trembling heart opened it.

When he saw a familiar set of green eyes he felt a little disappointed but mostly happy to see one of his best friends. "Why am I not surprised anymore?" Blaine asked with a smile leaning against the doorframe.

Sebastian smirked shoving his hands into his coat's pockets. "Well, I thought that you would be at least a little happy upon seeing me but I fail to see any sighs of enthusiasm."

Blaine rolled his eyes and opened up his arms for Sebastian to snuggle into. "Oh, come on. You know I'm crazy about you." The green-eyed boy quickly embraced his best friend with a huge grin attached to his face.

"I surely hope so." Sebastian said once they pulled away. They looked at one another for a few seconds, clearly inspecting each other's appearances. Blaine had to admit that Sebastian clearly didn't like changes since he still looked exactly like his high school self. "Will you invite me in or not?" The boy asked. "It's kind of freezing outside."

"Ugh, of course." Blaine said stepping aside to let the other boy in. Sebastian walked past him and took off his coat handing it to Blaine. The hazel-eyed boy hung it in the closet and once Sebastian had taken off his shoes they walked into the kitchen when Pamela was apparently waiting at them while leaning against the counter with her arms crossed against her chest and a knowing look on her face.

Sebastian immediately hugged her. "Hello, Mrs. Anderson. It's been too long since we saw each other."

"Certainly." Pamela answered holding him closely. When they pulled away she looked him up and down. "Oh my God, Sebastian! You look so handsome."

Blaine rolled his eyes while Sebastian's smirk grew even wider. He was a natural flirt, no matter the gender and age. "Well, being a grandmother is working magic on you, Mrs. Anderson. It seems like you haven't aged a day since I last saw you."

Pamela's cheeks turned bright red. "Oh, stop it."

"Yes, stop it." Blaine agreed not liking how casual they were with each other. Even though Sebastian was one hundred percent gay it still looked really weird.

"Thank you for the invitation." Sebastian said to Blaine's mother. He glanced at his best friend. "This fool has probably forgotten about me. I'm not really surprised since all he can probably think about are dirty diapers."

Blaine rolled his eyes while Pamela took a carton of apple juice out of the fridge and poured it into three glasses. "This is not true. I haven't forgotten about my best friends."

"If you say so." Sebastian said but he didn't seem to be neither mad nor angry. His gaze quickly landed on the little boy who was looking curiously at the stranger. "He's huge. What do you feed him with?"

Blaine rolled his eyes again. "He's normal. You just haven't seen him in a while."

Sebastian ignored him and walked carefully towards Robert as if he was an unique kind of animal. "Hey, there, little guy with a horrible name. Do you remember your uncle Sebastian?"

Robert stopped playing with the teddy bear and devoted all of his attention to Sebastian. He looked a little scared and Blaine couldn't decide if it was because he didn't remember Sebastian or if the reason why he was distant was that he hadn't seen someone so tall in a long while. It was probably a combination of both.

He sat down cross-legged opposite Robert and just stared at him for a moment. Both Blaine and Pamela watched them carefully hoping that the boy wouldn't start crying. Robert suddenly stood up with some difficulties and holding tightly onto his teddy bear walked over to where his father was standing glancing at Sebastian from time to time. The little boy looked genuinely terrified now. Blaine instantly took Robert into his arms holding him close to his chest and trying to prevent him from starting to cry.

"Well, it seems like he doesn't like me." Sebastian said also standing up from the floor.

"He'll come around." Pamela said stroking softly Robert's hair.

"I would really appreciate if you stopped criticizing his name." Blaine said looking up at his friend.

Sebastian stared for a moment at Robert. "Ugh, fine." He finally said. "It's not his fault that his parents are morons."

"Could you stop, please?" Blaine asked having enough of this conversation. It seemed like Sebastian was more sarcastic and snarky than usual. Or maybe Blaine just hadn't talked to him for too long and didn't remember his friend very well.

Sebastian smiled holding up his hands in surrender. "I'm sorry, okay? I was just kidding."

"It's alright." Blaine said suddenly feeling stupid. "How long are you staying for?" He asked.

"Only for the weekend." Sebastian said looking down. His smirk disappeared and his whole face fell. "I wish I could stay for longer."

"Me too." Blaine said sadly. "But I'm still happy you're here, even if only for two days. I hope you're staying here with us?"

Sebastian grinned widely. "If you have nothing against it."

* * *

Soon Robert realized that Sebastian wasn't a dangerous creature that could harm him. He started following Sebastian everywhere which made the green-eyed boy happy even if he tried to fake annoyance. To celebrate Robert's birthday they had a little party for themselves which involved a lot of playing with the toys and listening to the kids music.

Sebastian kept rolling his eyes and groaning which made Blaine believe that he wasn't particularly happy about his music choice but at least he stopped saying that Robert's name was stupid and everything was pretty much perfect. Blaine was only sad that Kurt wasn't there with them but he knew that he couldn't have everything and he was extremely grateful that he could share this day with at least one of his best friends.

Blaine also kept hoping that maybe Quinn would show up to spend some time with her son but unfortunately she didn't come. Blaine really wanted Robert to know his mother but if she still wasn't ready to be one Blaine had to accept and respect her decision no matter how much he wanted to provide everything he could for his son.

They ate cake together watching in amusement as Robert managed to get the frosting all over his face. "So what did you get for Robert?" Blaine asked in challenge when Pamela exited the room to bring them something to drink.

Sebastian smirked. "Something amazing. Just wait." Sebastian quickly pulled his coat on and left the house since apparently the gift was still in his car. Blaine waited in anticipation wondering what that could be. He hoped that it was something that Robert wouldn't immediately destroy and could have for longer that a few days.

A couple of minutes later Sebastian was back carrying a huge carton box clearly struggling. He set it down on the floor in front of Robert and Blaine and then sat beside the two of them smiling brightly. He kept glancing at Blaine apparently waiting for him to open the box and see what was inside. "Will it bite me?" Blaine joked inspecting the box.

"We'll see." Sebastian said smirking.

Blaine had to admit that he was really curious what was inside so he quickly tore the carton apart and looked inside. "You've got to be kidding me." Blaine said taking out Thomas The Tank vehicle which looked both like a car and train at the same time. "It was my favorite TV show when I was a kid."

"I know." Sebastian said and Blaine couldn't believe that the green-eyed boy remembered such a small detail about him. "Now it's time for Robert to fall in love with this idiotic show so that you can have an excuse to watch it with him." Despite Sebastian's slightly snarky remark his voice was soft.

"I'm sure he'll love it." Blaine said setting the vehicle on the floor and looking over at his son. "Right, buddy?"

Robert stood up and walked curiously over to the train and immediately wanted to get on it while babbling something to himself. Both Sebastian and Blaine laughed. "It seems like he likes it." Sebastian pointed out. "Let's try it out, shall we?"

Sebastian quickly sat the boy on the mini train and started pushing it around the room. Blaine watched them play with each other with a soft smile on his face. Robert kept grinning widely, laughing and squealing but it seemed like Sebastian was having just as much fun as the little boy if not even more. The green-eyed boy was making sounds pretending to be the train and Blaine couldn't help but laugh at him.

"You're so adorable." Blaine said sweetly.

"Shut up and be happy that I'm watching your kid for you." These words were meaningless. Sebastian was trying to keep up a façade but it was not working. He was clearly enjoying himself more than he thought he should be.

After one hour of playing with Robert the boy became tired and whiny so as much as Blaine and Sebastian wanted to keep entertaining the little boy Blaine knew they had to stop and let Robert sleep. It was already past his bedtime anyway. When Blaine took Robert into his arms he thought his imagination was fooling him but right there his little mouth opened and the most beautiful sound came out. "Dada!"

Blaine's eyes widened and he looked over at Sebastian wanting to share his joy. However the other boy didn't seem to be impressed at all. "What?" He asked when Blaine kept staring at him with his eyes wide open. "Why are you staring at me like that?"

"This is his first word!" Blaine exclaimed turning his gaze back to the little boy resting in his arms. Robert didn't seem to realize how important it was to Blaine. The same could be said about Sebastian. But to Blaine it was one of the first sighs that he wasn't doing a horrible job at raising Robert.

The hazel-eyed boy bathed him and let Sebastian read him a bedtime story. Robert was asleep in no time.

They went downstairs and sat down on the sofa in the living room. Pamela was already in her bedroom which meant that it wasn't likely that she would join them. Sebastian moved a little closer to Blaine and whispered into his ear almost seductively. "Where do you keep alcohol?"

"As I responsible father I don't drink alcohol. And well, I'm not allowed anyway. And neither are you." Blaine pointed out to which Sebastian only rolled his eyes.

"We're twenty for God's sake." Sebastian said letting his head drop on the couch cushion. "We won't be committing any major crime if we drink a glass of wine or two. Chill out."

Blaine didn't know if that was such a good idea. He didn't have good memories involving drinking alcohol. "I don't know if this is a good idea." He said out loud.

"Oh, come on, Blaine. The world won't end if we drink a bit." Sebastian moved his mouth close to the other boy's ear. "Please, Blaine. It will be fun."

"Ugh, okay." Blaine finally gave in.

"Awesome!" Sebastian exclaimed licking his lips. "Where is it then?"

"In the storage room. I'll bring it."

A few minutes later the two glasses were filled with red wine and they were slowly sipping on it. Blaine couldn't remember when he had last drunk alcohol. It was probably while he was still in New York with Kurt. "So do you have a boyfriend?" Blaine eventually asked, curious if his best friend was already taken or not.

"Nah," Sebastian admitted taking another sip of wine. "I haven't met someone interesting enough yet." He looked straight into Blaine's hazel eyes. "What about you, Blaine? Have you met anybody in this little shithole?"

"No." Blaine said. "I don't have time for that." It wasn't a lie since his schedule was full most of the time. In reality the main reason was that he knew that he wouldn't be able to commit to anybody the way they deserved while his heart sill belonged to someone else. "And who would want to date a single dad anyway?"

"I'm sure many people would." Sebastian's voice was quiet and mysterious. There was only one small lamp illuminating their faces which made the room quite dark and the atmosphere intimate.

"I don't think so." Blaine said honestly. "People our age go to college, have fun and don't think about having children or a family. I'm an exception that is avoided by everyone."

"Stop saying things like that. You're perfect and if you just let yourself go out to people I'm sure guys would be all over you." Sebastian was completely serious which was slightly unusual for him. "But you keep thinking that you are not enough while you are _way_ more than enough."

"It's easy for you to say. You don't know how it is." Blaine said lowering his gaze. "Let's not talk about it. Tell me about Vancouver. What is it like?"

"It's amazing." Sebastian said. "It's everything I could wish for. It's pretty much the same as everywhere else and yet people seem to be nicer and the streets are less covered by garbage."

"I will definitely visit you one day." Sebastian smiled sadly and refilled his glass. "And we will have way more fun that we should."

"Yeah." Sebastian took a long sip and looked at Blaine. "Do you know what day it is?"

Blaine smiled. "How could I not? It's my son's birthday. I couldn't forget such important date."

"Yes." Sebastian's eyes darkened and he licked his lips again. "But it's also the Valentine's Day."

"I know." Blaine said not really getting where Sebastian was going with it. "What about it? Do you want to listen to love songs?"

"No." Sebastian's face was dead serious. "I want to do something else." He set the glass down on the coffee table in front of them and leaned forward. Sebastian put his hands on Blaine's shoulders and looked straight into his eyes as if searching for something. Blaine's heart started beating loudly in his chest and he didn't really know how to feel about it, much less what to do or say. Sebastian's gaze travelled down to Blaine's lips. "Can I?" He asked softly.

Blaine didn't say anything. He seriously didn't know if he wanted Sebastian to kiss him or not. An image of him kissing Kurt in that club popped up in his head and suddenly Blaine started wondering how it would feel like to have Sebastian's lips against his own. The green-eyed boy apparently took the silence as an agreement as he started leaning forward and pressed his lips against Blaine's. The dark-haired boy gave in to the kiss and closed his eyes feeling the sweet sensation and pleasant warm fill his whole body and soul.

They kissed for a few minutes, softly without any sudden movements. It was just a pure, innocent kiss. When they finally pulled away they just stared at each other for another few minutes without speaking. It seemed like no words were needed at the moment.

And then Sebastian cupped Blaine's face with his hands and kissed his lips shortly one more time. "Blaine, please, come with me to Vancouver." Blaine was about to refuse one more time but Sebastian apparently saw it as he kept talking. "Why do you keep refusing? I would take care of you and Robert. We would all be happy together. And if you are not ready I'll wait for the summer. You know there are good colleges too in Canada, right? Please, agree. Please. I don't want to be there without you."

"But New York has always been my dream and it's going to remain this way for the rest of my life. I can't see myself anywhere else." Blaine said sadly. He didn't want to disappoint Sebastian, he didn't want him to be miserable because of him but what could he do? The kiss sparked something between them but the feelings he had for Sebastian couldn't even come close to what he felt for Kurt.

Sebastian pulled away and drank the whole glass of wine at once instantly refilling it. "Oh, fuck you, Blaine. Can't you see that you would be happy with me? What is so special about New York that you want to be there so desperately?"

 _Kurt_ , Blaine wanted to shout into Sebastian's face but he just kept quiet staring at the other boy. He could see that no matter how much he tried to hide it Sebastian was at the verge of tears. His eyes kept being glued to Blaine's and it was slowly driving him crazy."Sebastian, I'm sorry."

"Don't." Sebastian said closing his eyes for a moment. Then he pushed himself up from the couch looking as though he was going to explode. "What do you expect me to do, Blaine? Jump off the bridge for you? Defeat your seven evil exes? What? Tell me what it is because I seriously have no idea." Now tears were running freely down his flushed cheeks but it seemed like Sebastian didn't care about showing his vulnerability anymore. "I keep trying so hard to make you see how fucking happy you would be with me." He paused for a moment. "And yet you don't see it."

"It's not like that. I swear." Blaine quickly said not being able to stand one of his best friends being upset with him.

"I need to go to sleep. Good night, Blaine." He said ignoring Blaine's words completely. Sebastian gave him a long look and then just left the room.

Blaine, mad at himself and Sebastian poured himself another glass of wine letting himself fall apart.


	11. Chapter 10

**August, 2015**

* * *

"Just two weeks left!" Kurt exclaimed clearly not even trying to hide his excitement. His blue eyes were wide open and full of life while his hands kept flying in front of his face gesturing vividly.

Blaine took a sip of his hot tea and smiled brightly, still not quite able to believe than only in two short weeks he we was going to see Kurt face to face. Once again he was going to be able to breathe in his smell and feel his hair tickling his face during a hug. He would see the light flicker in his eyes and the wind mess up his hair.

"I'm already packed." Blaine said honestly looking over at his open suitcase which was lying on the bed. Everything was already set. There was even a bed for Robert at Kurt's apartment. It was a real miracle that Amanda wasn't mad at Kurt for bringing his friend with a child into their apartment.

Blaine just hoped that everything with the little boy was going to go smoothly and without any major problems. He didn't know if Robert was going to easily get used to the big city. He was also worried that he wouldn't be able to handle everything on his own. Of course Kurt kept saying that he was going to help Blaine with everything but the hazel-eyed boy didn't want to make his best friend deal with his problems. Despite that he had to admit that he would accept all the help he was going to receive. There was no way that he would survive without his help.

Blaine knew that he would have to find a job and start making money if he wanted to be able to support both himself and Robert. Of course Pamela promised that she would help him as much as she could but Blaine was an adult and he didn't want her to constantly pay for his expenses.

He had a lot of doubts about going to New York. He didn't know how his mother would deal with being constantly alone after living for year and a half with not only her son but also her grandchild who could make the whole house shake from all the noises. But Blaine was more than sure that Pamela was a strong woman and sooner or later she was going to adjust to living on her own again. Maybe she would even find herself a guy. Blaine could only hope for that.

He was happy that he got into the college again and this time Blaine was determined to graduate and make both his mother and son proud. He had to do something with his life and moving to New York was the first step on his way to achieve his dreams. Blaine knew that it was going to be awesome but also difficult and challenging. He was more than ready to face every obstacle that was going to stand on his way.

"I can't wait to see you again." Kurt said bouncing and grinning like an idiot. "We will have so much time together. I will show you all the places I've discovered during the last year and a half. I will show you all the clubs and introduce you to all the amazing people. You'll love it."

If Blaine could he would listen to Kurt for hours and hours without ever getting tired of it. Watching him being so excited about something felt like listening to the most beautiful music. "I'm sure I will." Blaine said even though he knew he wouldn't have enough time to do all of these things that Kurt was talking about. "It's going to be weird to see all these people at the university who are now two years ahead of me." Blaine knew that the students and professors that he had met during his short stay in New York were now going to look at him differently, as if he was a failure.

"You shouldn't care about them." Kurt said clearly sensing Blaine's dark thoughts. " _You_ are important. Not them."

Blaine smiled softly. "I know. Thank you."

"For what?" Kurt asked furrowing his eyebrows in question and smiling at the same time.

"For everything." Blaine said shrugging. "It's nice to know that someone besides my mother still believes in me."

"Sebastian still believes in you as well." Kurt said cheerfully unaware that even the mere mention of his name was able to bring Blaine into a very dark place. He hadn't talked to Sebastian since Robert's birthday and despite the fact that Blaine still was mad at him for trying to force him into doing something against himself it was killing him that they weren't in touch anymore. Blaine would often hope that despite all the hurtful words and the silence Sebastian would appear out of nowhere as usual and spend an amazing day with him and Robert.

But once Blaine was in New York Sebastian's sudden visit would probably be out of question. Kurt seemed to notice that something was wrong as his smile faded and he raised his eyebrows in confusion. "What's wrong?"

"Nothing." Blaine lied smoothly not wanting his best friend to worry without a reason. He would tell him everything once he was in New York. "I just remembered that I promised my mom that I would make dinner for her and she's going to be home really soon so I've gotta go."

"Oh, alright." Kurt said smiling slightly. "I will call you tomorrow."

"Okay, see you soon."

Kurt's smile widened. "Very soon."

Blaine smiled at his best friend one more time and logged off the Skype. He closed shut his laptop and stood up from the bed to go downstairs. He looked over at the walls noting how bare they looked. There were still posters of Blaine's high school celebrity crushes but the pictures of Robert, Kurt and Sebastian were already gone. Everything had been packed packed since Blaine couldn't wait to leave so much that he kept thinking about his departure constantly.

If he could he would take Pamela with him but the woman loved this town too much and she would never agree to move to a big city no matter how much she loved her son and wanted to be with him. Luckily she understood that Lima was not the place where Blaine belonged and she wanted him to be just happy.

Blaine checked on Robert who was sleeping peacefully in his crib and walked downstairs to start making the dinner. He hadn't really promised to make it, but he figured that his mother would be happy to get home and find the dinner already made and waiting for her.

He decided to make Spaghetti, one of his mother's favorite dishes. The dinner was quickly ready so Blaine checked the time. He frowned upon realizing that Pamela should have been home twenty minutes ago. Blaine decided that she probably just went shopping so he sat down at the kitchen table and just wait for her.

When another thirty minutes passed Blaine dialed her number wanting to make sure that everything was alright. When the woman didn't answer Blaine started to get worried. What if something happened? What if there had been an accident? Blaine knew that his mother wasn't the best driver. He stood up from the chair and started pacing the kitchen back and forth not being able to stand still anymore. Minutes passed and she still wasn't home.

Blaine kept trying to explain to himself that his mom wasn't a child and she could take care of herself but he was scared and nervous nonetheless. His hands were cold and sweaty and his heart was beating loudly.

Only another hour later Blaine heard the sound of the key being turned in the lock. The door opened and Blaine heard his mother's soft footsteps. He sighed in relief feeling all the nervous energy leave his body making him feel tired but happy. Blaine walked into the hallway to greet his mother but when he saw her all the bad emotions came rushing back into his mind.

"Mom?" He questioned seeing her just stand in the middle of the room with her back straight and foggy eyes. When Blaine took a closer look he noticed that her eyes were puffy and full of unshed tears. "What's wrong?" He asked taking a few steps forward not really knowing how to act.

Pamela lifted up her gaze to meet Blaine's hazel eyes, so similar to her own. A sad smile appeared on her face as she walked over to him and wordlessly fell into her son's arms. Blaine embraced her tightly massaging her back in an attempt to make her feel at least a little bit better. To Blaine's horror his mother started sobbing. He didn't remember ever seeing his mother cry so much.

He led her into the living room and they sat down on the sofa next to each other. Blaine took her hand into his own massaging his thumb over her palm. "Mom? Could you explain to me what is going on?"

"I-I…" Pamela stuttered not meeting Blaine's gaze. "I went to the doctor today." She said softly. Blaine squeezed his mother's hand tightly hoping, praying and begging God that it wasn't what he feared it was. A few tears escaped her eyes but she quickly wiped them away with her free hand. "And it turned out that there is something wrong in my blood…something that is not supposed to be there." She paused for a moment. "So they ran some more tests and the results weren't good." She finally looked up at her son, looking like a small, lost child facing against the big, cruel world. "I have a cancer, Blaine." In that short moment his whole world fell apart. This short sentence caused a hurricane go through Blaine's body ripping a huge hole in his heart.

Blaine closed his eyes feeling the tears building up. But he couldn't show his mother how weak he was. He had to be strong for her. He gathered all his strength to look at his mother with determination and certainty. "This is not the end of the world, mom. I'm sure the doctors will give you the best treatment and everything will be alright." Blaine knew that his words were empty but he desperately needed them to come true.

"It's a brain cancer." Pamela whispered freezing the blood in Blaine's vines. "I need chemotherapy and if it works I will have a surgery." She paused for a moment. "But there is no guarantee that I will come out of this alive."

Blaine leaned forward and gathered his mother's tender body in his arms. "I will take care of you. Everything's going to be alright."

"But you're leaving in two weeks." She pointed out.

"I'm not." Blaine said instantly. "Do you seriously think that I would leave you here alone like this? No way. I would never forgive myself."

"Blaine, no." Pamela said but her voice was weak and sad. It looked like she had surrendered to the illness without any hope to get better. "New York has been your dream for as long as I can remember. You can't just let go of it for the second time. The third chance my never come."

"I don't care about New York. It's just a city." Blaine pointed out. "And I would never chose a city over my own mother. I'm staying. End of discussion. I need to make sure that you take care of yourself properly."

"What about Kurt though?" Pamela questioned turning her vulnerable eyes to him.

"He's an adult." Blaine said calmly. "He can take care of himself. Maybe he doesn't realize it yet but he really doesn't need to have me around to be happy."

"I don't know."

"But I do." Blaine said pulling away from her. "I love you, mom. We will get through it together."

An almost too small to notice smile appeared on Pamela's face as he studied her son's face. "I'm the luckiest woman alive to have such an amazing son. Thank you, Blaine."

"You have nothing to thank for." Blaine said taking both of her hands in his own. "It's just because I have such an awesome mother."

They just stared at each other for a couple of minutes, both scared but thankful for having each other.

* * *

Blaine spend the whole night lying awake in his bed and crying. He cried because there was a possibility that his mother was going to pass away sooner that she should but also because he wouldn't be reunited with Kurt. In that very moment be begged whatever higher force that could possibly be up there to send him Kurt and make him stay with him to get through everything together. Blaine craved his smile and touch. And the thought that he wouldn't be able to see him for at least another few months was burning him on the inside.

Why did it have to be like this? What had he done to deserve something like that? Why couldn't he just be happy for once? Why did his mother have to suffer since she was such a loving and compassionate woman? It was unfair. Blaine wanted to strangle with his bare hands whoever was responsible for this mess they were living.

In the morning, while Blaine was still lying in bed, not quite ready to face the reality, he grabbed his cell phone from the bedside table and dialed Kurt's number mentally preparing himself for what he was about to say. Kurt almost instantly answered the phone and greeted him cheerfully. "Hey, Blaine! What's up?"

Blaine's eyes filled with tears upon hearing that. He was jealous of Kurt because the blue-eyed boy didn't know what was going on yet. Blaine wanted to switch places with him and live without the knowledge that he had to now carry on his shoulders. "Kurt, I need to tell you something." Blaine began trying to remain calm and composed.

The other boy was quiet for a moment. "It doesn't sound good."

"It isn't good." Blaine said. He closed his eyes for a moment taking a deep breath and trying not to break down completely. "I am not going to New York."

"What? You can't do that to me right now! You pro-"

"Let me finish, Kurt." Blaine cut him off, scared that he might never say what he needed Kurt to know. "My mom's sick. I need to stay and take care of her."

"What?" Kurt's voice was now soft and flat. "What's wrong with her?"

"She has a brain cancer." He said quietly, as if saying these words out loud would make the situation seem too real. "It's not good and I am so scared."

"Oh, Blaine." Now Kurt sounded genuinely heartbroken. "I am so sorry. Do you want me to come to you?"

"No, stay there. I need to figure everything out on my own." Blaine lied. He didn't want anything more than to melt in Kurt's embrace but he also didn't want the other boy to carry something that was not his to carry.

"Can I do something to help then?" Kurt asked.

"Just…be there for me."


	12. Chapter 11

**November, 2015**

* * *

Blaine turned the page in his book to start reading another chapter. Tomorrow was a very important exam that he couldn't fail which meant that he had to stay in the library as long as he could. "Blaine, come on. We should get going." Mellissa said trying to gain his attention. Blaine blinked his eyes a few times and checked the time. It was already half past eight. He looked around and noticed that except for them there was only the librarian.

"Yeah, I guess you're right." Blaine didn't really want to come home but he knew that Robert was waiting for him so he closed the book deciding that he could finish reading it at home no matter how hard it was to focus there. He looked over at his friend and noticed the sea of sadness in her brown eyes even though she was doing her best to fake a smile. Blaine hated when people tried to be cheerful and enthusiastic around him as if when they stopped smiling for even a second it would make Blaine break down.

They packed up their books and slowly exited the building sending apologetic smiles towards the librarian. Once they were outside Blaine buttoned his jacket and shoved his hands deep into his pockets shivering under the cold. Mellissa got rid of her pony tail letting her brown hair fall in waves on her shoulders and wrapped a colorful scarf around her neck which covered her mouth. She looked really adorable, like a small kitten. "Maybe you want to go to the cinema or something? It's not that late." She suggested after a moment of silence.

Blaine instantly shook his head even though he really wanted to postpone going home. "Thank you but Robert's babysitter is not going to stay with him for that long and besides I still need to finish studying if I want to pass this test tomorrow."

The street lamp next to the library illuminated Mellissa's face which let Blaine see all the emotions playing there. She looked both sad and disappointed. The girl rested her hand on Blaine's arm in a comforting gesture making Blaine feel slightly better. "Will you be alright?"

"Of course." Blaine immediately replied faking a smile.

"See you tomorrow then. Kiss Rob for me." She smiled and briefly kissed Blaine's cheek.

"Of course. Have a safe drive." The girl started walking towards her car and Blaine was about to do the same but then she turned her head around and called over her shoulder. "I'm going to pray for your mother."

"Thank you!" Blaine called after her. Even though he was far from a religious person it was still a nice thought that someone was going to include his mother in their prayers. It couldn't possibly hurt. Blaine slowly wandered over to his car and got into the vehicle. He gripped the stirring wheel tightly in his hands until his knuckles turned white. Blaine stared ahead dreading the moment of starting the engine and beginning the drive home.

It wasn't that he didn't want to see Robert again. He really wanted to have his baby boy in his arms but the problem was that he didn't want to be home if his mother was not going to be there with him. If he could he would drive straight to the hospital to spend the whole night with her but he was a father and a college students which meant that he had also other responsibilities.

Blaine finally started the engine and pulled out of the parking lot. He felt a little guilty for having so little time for his sick mother but the woman had almost forced him to go to college and finally get some proper education. Maybe becoming a music teacher in elementary schools wasn't what he had originally planned to do in his life but it was a practical profession. In this situation he didn't want to study something that could possibly not give him a job in the future.

During Blaine's drive home it started raining matching Blaine's horrible mood perfectly. He just wanted to forget for at least a couple of minutes about all of this but it was impossible. Blaine knew that he could always go to a club, get wasted and pick up a random guy whose face he wouldn't remember in the morning but then he would feel guilty and he didn't want to feel that way.

Way too soon Blaine found himself in front of his house. He parked his mother's car in the garage and slowly walked towards the front door. He tried the handle but it turned out that the door was locked so he fished his key out of his pocket and unlocked it. Inside the lights were switched off so he quietly walked through the hallway towards the living room from where he could hear muffled sounds. Blaine peeked inside to find Samantha sitting on the sofa and watching some movie.

"Hi." Blaine greeted the girl gaining her attention. The teenager looked up at him with her light blue eyes and smiled slightly. "I'm sorry for being so late. Of course I'll pay you for everything."

Samantha waved her hand dismissively. "It's alright. When Rob went to sleep at least I had time to do all of my homework and study a bit."

"Was he good today?" Blaine asked.

Her smile faded a little. "Yeah, everything was alright but I can see that he misses you like crazy. He kept asking for his dada all the time. The poor guy still hasn't gotten used to me."

"He'll come around. You'll see." Blaine said regretfully. He didn't like the idea of his son getting close to strangers but for now there was no other option and Samantha was a good girl so Blaine was convinced that Robert was in good hands. "Now go home. Your parents are probably worried sick."

"Nah, I called them. They're fine with it."

"Okay, have a safe drive home then." Blaine paid her and watched as she left the house. Blaine followed her with his eyes feeling the wave of jealously wash over him. That girl was still a careless teenager with no real problems and responsibilities. Sometimes Blaine wanted to be like her more than anything else. Only a few years ago he could dream of great things and now all he could ask for was for his mom to get better.

Blaine took off his jacket and shoes before shuffling to the kitchen to get himself a can of beer. He was officially twenty one now and no one would stop him from drinking. He sat down in front of the TV screen and watched some mindless comedy for two hours. Then he decided that he should revise for the exam so he took his books, turned off the TV and walked upstairs passing Pamela's room without even glancing at the closed door.

He entered his room and switched on the little lamp standing on his bedside table. Blaine put the books down on the bed and walked over to Robert's crib. He wrapped his hands around the railing and looked down at the little boy who was peacefully sleeping. His dark curls were sticking in every possible direction which made the corner's of Blaine's mouth turn up creating a small smile. Robert didn't really know what was going on. He was clearly confused because his beloved grandma wasn't there with him anymore.

Now the boy was stick with his father and two babysitters. Blaine carefully ran his hand through the boy's hair trying not to wake him up. Then he lied down on his bed and started reading the book despite the fact that he felt as if he was going to pass out.

* * *

Blaine hugged his son tightly seeing as he was going to start crying at any second. He was close to tears himself but Blaine didn't want to show his son how weak he was. That wouldn't help at all. Blaine handed the little boy over to the middle-aged woman, Angela and waved to the little boy. "Dada!" Robert called after Blaine, his eyes already full of tears.

But Blaine didn't do anything knowing that it would only make the situation worse. So he just turned around and left the house closing the room behind him. He got into his car and started driving, still with little to no enthusiasm to reach his destination. Blaine loved his mother, and he knew he needed to be there for her, he _wanted_ to be there for her but it was still extremely hard to see her so weak and vulnerable.

When Blaine parked his car he had trouble getting out of the vehicle but he knew that he needed to show his mother that he was not scared, that he was optimistic. But he wasn't. Not anymore. Despite his mother's effort to convince him that everything was going in to the right direction Blaine wasn't stupid. He knew that it was just a comforting lie.

Blaine entered the building and walked through the familiar corridors not stopping to say good morning to any of the nurses or doctors that he recognized. He wasn't there for them after all and he was not about to give them some of his precious time since he could spend it with his mother. Blaine stopped in front of the door to his mother's room doing his best to put on a mask that would fool his mother into thinking that he wasn't falling apart. So Blaine put on a fake smile and pushed the door open.

Blaine's heart broke just a tiny bit more when he saw Pamela lying on the hospital bed. It had been only three months but the woman didn't look like Blaine's mother at all. She was pale, skinny and bald. There was no trace of the elegant woman she once was. But to Blaine she was still the most beautiful creature on the face of the earth.

The woman looked up at Blaine and smiled softly putting the book she had been reading away. Her face scrunched in pain as she attempted to sit up straight. Seeing her struggle Blaine rushed over to help her. Once she was seated comfortably Blaine sat down on a chair next to her bed and took her hand into his. "How are you feeling?"

Pamela rolled her eyes. Blaine knew that she was tired of hearing this question over and over but he kept asking it because he desperately needed to hear that sweet lie come out of her mouth. "I'm alright." She replied massaging her thumb over Blaine's palm.

She had been miserable and almost depressed at first but now she seemed to be mostly okay with what she was going though. It didn't mean that she was happy about it but that she had accepted her illness and learned to live with it.

Blaine decided to let her lie to him knowing well enough that she was in a massive amount of pain but she still wanted her son to think that she was unbreakable. "How's Robert?" She asked. Blaine immediately smiled knowing how much she loved to hear stories about her grandson.

"He learned a few new words." Blaine said proudly. "But he still hasn't gotten used to constantly being switched between two babysitters." Seeing how Pamela's smile faded slightly Blaine quickly continued. "But he's getting there. He doesn't cry as much as he used to and I'm pretty convinced that he's so winey because he wants to get more of my attention."

"I wish I could help you somehow." Blaine's mother said softly.

"All you need to do is focus on getting better." He said with a smile.

"I'm doing my best, sweetie." A smile once again made its way onto her pale face. "And how is school going? Isn't it too much for you to handle?"

"No, it's alright." Blaine said instantly. "I have to devote a lot of my time to studying but it's going well. I'm not falling behind or anything like that."

"I'm so sorry you had to stay here." She lowered her gaze looking away from Blaine.

"It's not that big of a deal, mom. You are the most important right now." Blaine squeezed her hands trying to show that he really meant it even though he hoped that Pamela already knew that.

"It shouldn't be this way." She said bitterly looking up at her son with sadness and regret in her eyes.

Despite his best efforts Blaine felt like he was going to cry. He quickly composed himself though knowing that he couldn't show weakness in front of his mother, especially now when she clearly had trouble finding strength to fight for her life. Blaine let his eyes travel down his mom's body, aware of the fact that it really shouldn't be this way. Blaine shouldn't be forced to look at her in this state. And she shouldn't be allowed to suffer so much.

Blaine stayed with his mother for over an hour watching as she fell into sleep. Then he sat with her holding her bony hand for a while longer before slowly raising from the uncomfortable chair. Blaine stretched out his muscles and gathered his things. Then he gave his mother a longing look and softly pressed his lips to her forehead.

As he walked though the building Blaine couldn't stop the tears from falling anymore. Despite the fact that people were watching him Blaine let out a sob and covered his face with his hand. Knowing that in this state he would get too much attention from people on the streets and feeling that his legs wouldn't be able to carry his weight for much longer Blaine entered the hospital cafeteria and sat at one of empty tables.

He pulled his cell phone out of his pocket and put it on the tabletop in front of him. Blaine stared at the black screen for a moment not really knowing what to do. He desperately needed to talk to somebody, somebody that would immediately make him feel better. And yet he didn't want to seem so weak and broken.

Blaine unlocked the screen and opened his list of contacts. His thumb hovered over Kurt's picture for a few minutes as he fought with himself whether or not to call him. What if he was busy now and didn't have time for Blaine? Another wave of tears washed away all the doubts and against better judgment Blaine dialed Kurt's number and held the cell phone close to his ear struggling to breath normally.

He waited for a few seconds and when Blaine thought that Kurt was not going to answer after all he heard one of the most beautiful sounds ever. "Blaine? Hi!" Kurt's voice was cheerful and Blaine felt horrible that he was going to ruin his good mood."

"Hello, K-Kurt." Blaine managed to say even though his voice was shaking.

"Blaine? Are you crying? What's wrong?" Kurt's voice was full of panic and Blaine almost started sobbing out loud knowing he feared the worst.

"I just…" He didn't know what to say. Suddenly the idea of calling Kurt seemed silly. "I don't know what to do anymore."

"Tell me what's bothering you." Blaine shut his eyes closed leaning into Kurt's voice. "I promise to do my best to help you."

"I feel so helpless." Blaine stuttered out. "I want to help my mother somehow but I can see her slowly slipping away." A sob escaped his throat. "And it's killing me. I don't want her to die. What will I do without her?"

"Blaine." Kurt said firmly. His voice was strong and calm. "Your mother will not die. She is a strong woman who can overcome every obstacle. She will not die. Do you hear me?"

Blaine nodded his head but quickly realized that his best friend couldn't see him. "Yes." He said holding on to that shred of hope as tightly as he could. Kurt's words were most likely just wishful thinking but Blaine desperately needed to believe that eventually everything was going to be alright.

"You have to believe in how strong Pamela is." Kurt said softly. "You can't give up because if you give up she will give up too. No matter how much you may try to hide it she is your mother and she knows you better than anyone else. She'll know. Trust me."

"I feel so tired of being constantly afraid that the next time I visit her she's not going to be there." Blaine paused for a moment trying to compose himself. "Or when someone calls me I'm afraid to look at the phone because what if they are calling from the hospital to tell me…that..." He trailed off not wanting to say these words out loud.

"Blaine, you will get through this. I promise." Kurt's voice was gentle and full of love. "Think about Robert. He needs you to be strong for him."

"I know." Blaine quickly said. "But I can see how lost and confused he is. He misses his grandmother."

Kurt was silent for a few seconds. It was clear that he was struggling to find the adequate words to make his best friend feel better. Blaine didn't blame him for that. What do you say to a person whose mother is close to death? Kurt knew how it was like to lose a mother and this whole situation was probably not easy on him either. Blaine could any imagine how many flashbacks he was getting of his own mother dying. Blaine felt bad for making him feel that way.

"Thank you, Kurt." Blaine said not wanting his best friend to struggle further. "For being here for me when I need it."

"That's what friends are for, right?" Kurt really was trying hard to make Blaine believe that he wasn't upset but he just knew that Kurt was at the verge of tears himself from the amount of emotions. "But I have something that might cheer you up."

"I will gladly take anything."

"I'm coming home for Christmas."

And suddenly Blaine felt as if a great weight had been lifted off of his shoulders. Maybe all the problems wouldn't magically solve themselves but at the very least for a few days he wouldn't be forced to face all of them alone.

The tears were still rolling down Blaine's cheeks but now the sad tears were mixed with the happy ones and Blaine allowed himself to smile a little bit.


	13. Chapter 12

**December, 2015**

* * *

Being wrapped in Kurt's arms felt like coming home. Like listening to the calming sounds of the ocean after a rough storm or hearing a melody from childhood and remembering all the happy memories. Blaine closed his eyes and leaned his head against Kurt's chest listening to the peaceful sound of his steady heartbeat. He had to keep reminding himself that it wasn't just a dream, that it was really happening. That Kurt wouldn't just disappear into thin air and leave him like this. Deep down Blaine was painfully aware of the fact that his bliss was going to last for only a few days but he didn't want to think about that it that moment.

"How are you doing, Blaine?" It was obvious that they both knew how ridiculous that question was but what else was there to ask? There was no good question to begin that conversation.

"I'm fine." They pulled away still holding hands. Kurt's eyes were full of sadness and sympathy but a small smile was playing on his lips. He knew that Blaine was lying, of course he knew. The endless conversations through Skype late at night when no one could interrupt them had more than indicated that Blaine was a mess.

Hand in hand Kurt and Blaine exited the airport building and started walking though the parking lot navigating between the vehicles. Despite the situation Blaine couldn't help but enjoy the feeling of Kurt's hand in his. It was clear that it was only Kurt's way of comforting Blaine and trying to keep him sane and grounded but against the better judgment Blaine started imagining what it would feel like if they were going though all of this really together.

He quickly shook his head reminding himself that this was not about him but about his mother. "And how's your mother?" Kurt asked once they were standing in front of Blaine's car as though he could read his mind.

"I think she's a little better physically." Blaine said honestly. She seemed a little stronger but her optimism seemed to be lost. "But it's still a miracle that the doctors let her come home for Christmas." He looked down at their joined hands pausing for a second. "I don't know how if I could celebrate Christmas without her." He added looking back up at Kurt. "I would-"

"No, don't think about it." Kurt quickly cut him off before Blaine had a chance to make himself even more upset. "Let's go home."

Reluctantly Blaine let go of Kurt's hand and opened the car door for him. They got into the vehicle and Blaine pulled out of the parking lot. The whole drive home they spent in silence, just enjoying the fact that they could just _be_ together without the need to go anywhere anytime soon.

Kurt decided that he would spend the night at Blaine's place and in two days his father was going to come over and they would celebrate Christmas together. It was really kind of Kurt but Blaine felt as if he was taking him away from his father. However Kurt didn't say a word about it, he didn't even look like staying at Blaine's house, a few miles away from his father was painful for him so Blaine decided to be selfish for once and accept Kurt's façade wanting to have his best friend for himself for as long as he could.

When they reached the house they sat in the car for a few minutes in complete silence. Then Blaine looked over at his best friend who looked a little scared. His eyes were wide open and he was looking straight ahead while playing with his fingers. "What's wrong, Kurt?" Blaine asked placing his hand on top of Kurt's busy ones.

The young man blinked his eyes a few times as if snapping out of his thoughts and looked over at his friend. "I know it's stupid but I'm afraid."

Blaine raised his eyebrows in confusion. "Afraid of what?"

Kurt sighed running his hand through his hair, clearly both scared and frustrated. "I'm scared that I'm going to say something wrong and upset your mother somehow. I don't want her to see my as another person pitying her. I know how hard it must be when all people see in you as someone who can't even take care of themselves. I don't want your mother to feel like this because of me."

"She loves you." Blaine quickly rushed to say. He forced himself to smile, just for Kurt. It was really hard to smile and laugh these days. "Just be yourself and everything's going to be okay."

"Are you sure?" Kurt asked. The tables had turned and now Blaine was the one comforting Kurt. Surprisingly it felt really good to just for a moment not being looked at someone who could break down at any time.

"I'm positive." Blaine said firmly squeezing Kurt's hand.

"Okay. If you say so." Kurt smiled a little, though he was still clearly scared. Blaine couldn't blame him for feeling this way. This was not an usual situation and it had to be extremely hard on Kurt.

They got out of the car and slowly started walking towards the house in silence. It was snowing and while the world was slowly turning into a winter fantasy Blaine couldn't truly enjoy it. He unlocked the door and let Kurt in first. They took off their coats and shoes before slowly making their way through the corridor.

"Is Robert with the babysitter?" Kurt asked looking curiously around as if searching for any clues that something was wrong.

"No." Blaine replied. "I wanted to call her but my mom kept telling me that it would be a waste of money since she can take care of him for such a short time."

"Do you agree with her?" Kurt questioned looking at the picture on the wall. Blaine looked at it as well. It was one of him and his mother while Blaine was only five years old. They were eating ice cream together on the porch in front of their house with matching grins attached to their faces. A huge gulp created in Blaine's throat smashing him from the inside. He wanted to cry but it seemed like he didn't have any more tears left. The question remained unanswered as they both just stared at the picture.

"Oh, Kurt! It's been way too long without seeing your gorgeous face!" They both turned around to see Pamela Anderson walking slowly down the stairs. She was obviously struggling but she was still smiling anyway, apparently wanting to fool Kurt into thinking that she was really alright. It was true that she was better but she was nowhere near well. She didn't look as pale as always since there were a few layers of makeup on her face and a colorful headscarf was wrapped around her head hiding the lack of hair.

But she still looked incredibly skinny and unhealthy. If anything the makeup was making it more obvious and noticeable. But people wanted to believe that problems were going to get solves and apparently Kurt wasn't an exception since a huge smile appeared on his face as he rushed to hug the woman. It seemed like he was relieved upon seeing this mask instead of a skeleton.

Blaine just stood there and watched as his mother got wrapped in Kurt's arms. Only when her son's friend couldn't see her, Pamela's face scrunched up in pain. She didn't try to hide it from Blaine anymore and Blaine was thankful that his mother didn't keep pretending that she was an invincible superhero.

"How are you feeling, Mrs. Anderson?" Kurt asked and Blaine almost rolled his eyes at that. Even though he kept asking this question himself he knew how annoying it was to his mother.

"I'm alright, don't worry about me." She quickly replied pulling away and looking straight into Kurt's blue eyes. A soft smile was once again gracing her features. "I can't believe how much you have grown. Is it even possible?"

It was true. Kurt had grown and gained some muscles. Now he didn't look like a lost teenager anymore. He looked like an adult man who was ready to face the life as it was without sugar-coating anything. Of course Blaine knew that in reality Kurt was still delicate and vulnerable under all these layers of confidence and yet still incredibly strong. "At least it seems like it." Kurt said laughing.

"You boys go upstairs." Pamela said. "I need to make something to eat for Rob." She said and disappeared into the kitchen without any word directed at her son.

"Go ahead." Blaine said waving Kurt off. The other boy raised his eyebrows in confusion. "Go say hi to Robert. I need to talk to my mom for a second."

"Sure." Kurt said sending Blaine a warm smile. He took his suitcase and started walking up the stairs.

The hazel-eyed boy entered the kitchen where Pamela busied herself with heating up the baby food. "Mom? Is something wrong?" Blaine asked noting how frantic her movements were.

"No, honey. Everything's alright." She quickly answered smiling at him briefly. Blaine instantly approached her and took her cold hands into his warm ones. "What are you doing? Robert's hungry."

"Sit down." Pamela opened her mouth as if to argue with him but Blaine continued talking before she could say anything. "I will do it." For a second she looked as though she still wanted to argue but then the woman just sat down by the kitchen table sighing. "Have you taken your medication?" Blaine asked while turning on the oven.

"Of course I have." Pamela answered, clearly frustrated.

"I'm just looking out for you, mom." Blaine said softly not wanting her to stress out too much but recently her mood would change in a second without any apparent reason.

"Well, maybe I'm dying but I don't have dementia yet." She said bitterly.

Blaine put the little jar of mixed vegetables on the cupboard and closed his eyes shut trying to stay calm. "You are not dying." He said soothingly. Blaine turned around to face his mother and looked straight into her tired eyes. "Stop saying that."

"I'm sorry." She said, clearly understanding how much damage her words could make. "I just need you to let me do certain things on my own so that I don't have to feel like I'm completely useless to you."

"You're not useless." Blaine quickly said. "You take care of Robert."

"When I'm home."

Blaine didn't say anything to that. He had no idea how to make this situation better. Instead he decided to touch upon a different subject. "You know you don't have to act like this round Kurt, right?"

"Like what?"

"Like everything's alright." Blaine said crossing his arms over his chest. "He's an adult now and he can deal with the truth. I know we would all prefer to believe in lies than to accept the truth but we both know that you can't carry on like this for much longer."

"So what are you saying? That I should just cry all the time and make him feel bad about being here?" Her eyes were full of bitterness, sadness and so many more emotions that Blaine couldn't even put names to.

"No." Blaine quickly said, getting more and more frustrated with each passing second. "I'm just saying that you don't have to wear all the makeup. I know how much you hate putting it on and how much time it takes. Kurt may be shocked to see you like this at first but he won't freak out or anything. After all his mom-" Blaine quickly stopped himself for saying the rest.

"Died of cancer?" Pamela finished for him. "Yes, I know. This is why I don't want him to feel weird about all of this. I want to make it as painless for him as it's possible so that he doesn't get flashbacks of his own mother slowly turning into a shadow of her former self."

"He can handle it."

"You don't know that."

Blaine ducked his head knowing that his mother was right. He gave his mother one last look trying to tell her without words how much this all sucked but her eyes were glued to the floor so Blaine turned back to the food and returned to preparing the meal for his son.

* * *

Kurt seemed to be having the time of his life. He was sitting on the armchair in the living room with Robert in his lap bouncing him. The little boy was clearly overjoyed to be in the centre of someone's attention as he kept laughing and saying words from the limited selection that he knew. Blaine stood in the doorframe with a cup of hot cocoa watching them from afar and smiling. He tried not to dream of having this sight in front of his eyes every day but he couldn't help it. Watching them playing together was one of the sweetest tortures.

He left them alone for a while to go upstairs and check on his mother. Blaine opened the door to her room slightly and looked inside to find his mother sleeping peacefully in her bed and it wasn't even eight yet. The dim light from the corridor illuminated her face allowing Blaine to see that she had been too tired to wash off all of her makeup. It looked both hilarious and sad.

Blaine closed the door carefully and walked back downstairs not being able to stop himself from thinking how much he missed his mother who was always in the good mood, ready to take on the world and face every obstacle that would appear on her way. He knew how hard it was all for her but he was also tired.

When he entered the living room Kurt looked up at him welcoming him with a sweet smile which lighted up his whole face. Blaine tried to return the smile but he didn't really manage to do that so instead he just sat down on the sofa still looking at his best friend and son. "I have an idea which I know you might immediately reject but I want you to at least think it through." Kurt said suddenly.

"Go on." Blaine said feeling that it was going to be another offer that he would be forced to reject while simultaneously breaking someone's heart.

"I can see how tired you are, Blaine." Kurt pointed out. His smile faded a little and now he just looked concerned and slightly worried. "And I think that it would be a good idea for you to go out somewhere." Kurt said holding Robert tightly so that the little boy wouldn't fall to the floor. "We could go tomorrow to a club, have some fun, maybe a few drinks."

Blaine quickly shook his head. "This is not a good idea, Kurt. Do you think I could have fun while knowing that my mother is suffering at home? No, Kurt. I can't. This wouldn't be fair."

"I know it may seem wrong." Kurt rushed to say. "But you must feel so caged and trapped right now. One night out won't harm anyone. You'll see." He looked straight into Blaine's eyes. "Then you will have more strength to take care of your mother. Everybody needs a break sometimes."

"My mother doesn't get a break from cancer." Blaine said immediately.

"But she will appreciate you doing something for yourself. She will feel less like a burden and more like your mother again." Kurt's voice was serious. It was clear that he was set on getting Blaine out of the house but he still wasn't convinced. "Your mom isn't dead yet, Blaine so don't act as if she isn't here anymore."

He winced slightly. Recently Blaine didn't really like putting his mom and the word death in the same sentence. It felt wrong. "I can't leave her alone for that long. And what about Robert? What if she feels too tired to take care of him?"

Kurt smiled a little glancing at the little boy. "Actually my dad has been dying to meet this little guy. He could spend the night here, with your mother and Robert. She could probably use some company other than her own son."

Blaine thought about it for a moment. Burt and Pamela weren't exactly friends but they knew each other and were on the good terms. Maybe his mother would feel normal again if she had a chance to spend some time with someone in her own age. "Maybe it's not such a bad idea after all." Blaine concluded still feeling bad about leaving his mother but also grateful for having someone like Kurt who would always make sure that he wasn't going crazy.

Blaine let himself smile a little. "I don't remember when I was in a night club the last time." He looked down at his hands. "Probably in a different lifetime."

When Blaine looked back up at Kurt he saw an ominous smile on his face. "Then you're lucky you have me."

Soon they all started feeling tired despite how early it still was. Blaine from all the emotions couldn't keep his eyes open and he had to keep blinking so that he wouldn't fall asleep on the sofa. While Kurt still looked alerted and mostly energized he would yawn from time to time and Robert soon fell asleep cuddled to his chest, exhausted from playing so much.

"Let's go to sleep." Blaine whispered not wanting to wake Robert up. "It seems like we both need it."

"Yeah, it sounds like a brilliant idea." Kurt said yawning in the most adorable way ever. Blaine couldn't stop smiling. Robert and Kurt together was a picture out of Blaine's wildest dreams. Holding Robert carefully in his arms Kurt stood up from the armchair. Blaine followed into his steps and together they started walking down the stairs.

Kurt put the toddler into the crib and covered his body with a blanket. He was doing it with so much care and joy that Blaine wanted to quickly snap a picture to have this memory stored somewhere forever. Kurt was about to leave Blaine's bedroom but the dark-haired boy, surprising both Kurt and himself, quickly grabbed his hand and held tightly onto it.

Kurt looked at their joined hands for a moment but didn't let go. Then he looked back at Blaine with a mixture of confusion and uncertainty dancing in his blue orbs. "Would you…" Blaine swallowed hard not really knowing how to ask this without sounding like a creep. "I know it's stupid and totally ridiculous but maybe…you would like to spend this night with me?" Kurt just looked even more confused and alarmed so Blaine rushed to explain. "Ugh, it's not like that. I just don't want to be alone tonight." Blaine said letting go of Kurt's hand. "That's all. But if you want to sleep in the guest room I understand."

For a moment it seemed like Kurt was just going to exit the room leaving Blaine to drown in his personal sea of embarrassment but then a soft smile appeared on his face. "Sure." He said. "It will be just like in Paris."

Blaine winced at the mention of this city. He usually avoided refreshing these memories even though most of them were certainly worth remembering. "Yeah." He just mumbled.

Blaine remembered how funny it had been to make Kurt all frustrated by changing right next to him but now everything was different and they were both changing in absolute silence facing away from each other. Blaine wanted to be that guy who could make Kurt's cheek turn bright red but he didn't know if he could be that happy and carefree again. And well, back then Blaine hadn't known yet how much he loved Kurt.

The silence between them was awkward and Blaine didn't even know why. They were best friends after all and they should be able to undress in each other's presence without any trouble. Maybe it was because they hadn't seen each other in such a long time. Maybe they just longed for each other too much to keep calm now. Maybe Kurt wanted to feel Blaine's body against his own as much as Blaine did. But maybe it was all in Blaine's head and Kurt was doing it just because he didn't want to reject him.

When Blaine was dressed in his pajamas he slowly turned around to find Kurt looking at him with something strange in his eyes. It looked like fire that was about to die. Blaine didn't really know what to make of it. With nothing else to do Blaine sent Kurt a small smile hoping that it would melt the tension that was slowly building up between them.

"Are we just going to stand here and stare at each other admiring how flawless we are?" Blaine tried to joke and it seemed to work. Kurt laughed shortly rubbing the back of his neck with his hand.

"We sure could keep doing that for the whole night." Kurt said. "But maybe we could actually try to get some sleep so that we don't look like zombies tomorrow?"

"Sounds good to me." Blaine said with a small smirk. They finally lied down in bed covering their bodies with the duvet.

Blaine lied on his back staring at the dark ceiling. When he turned his head to look at Kurt he found him laying on his side and smiling softly at him. "It still remember staying here for sleepovers." His smile was honest but also a little sad as if the memories themselves were good but coming back to them could hurt. "Being an adult is not as fun as I thought it would be."

"Tell me about it." Blaine alerted his position so now they were facing each other.

Now Kurt's smile was gone completely and he was looking straight into Blaine's eyes. "I regret so many things, Blaine. It's sad that I don't keep in touch with neither Sebastian nor Quinn and sometimes I wonder if being an architect is really something that I want to be for the rest of my life."

"Whoa." Blaine was really surprised upon hearing all these things. "You don't want to study architecture anymore?"

Kurt shrugged. "I mean…there is no way I'm going to change my major now. It's my junior year and I'm planning to graduate as soon as I possibly can." He paused for a moment. "But I seriously have no idea what I'm going to do after college. It seems like there are endless possibilities…and yet I feel like my options are very limited."

"I'm sure you will figure something out by then." Blaine said with a smile. "What about fashion though? Maybe this is something that you could try doing?"

"I still sketch clothes sometimes." Kurt admitted. "But I don't think I am skilled enough to try out in the fashion industry. If your ass is not made of iron they will eat you alive. Trust me, I watch all these shows."

"I don't think you give yourself enough credit." Blaine took Kurt's hand into his massaging his thumb over his palm. Kurt looked at their hands with so many emotions dancing in his eyes that Blaine wasn't able to tell what he was feeling. "If your sketches are at least half good as they were in high school then you don't have to worry about not being good enough."

Kurt raised his eyebrows questioningly. "What do you know about fashion, Blaine?"

"Enough to be able to recognize a real talent."

Kurt rolled his eyes giggling. "Thank you, Blaine but I think I know better whether I'm good or not."

"Alright." Blaine said. "Do whatever you want but you might just miss out on an opportunity to make your dreams come true."

Kurt stopped giggling and now he looked serious again but he didn't say anything. Now the silence between them was comfortable and nice but it was not enough for Blaine. He needed to have Kurt as close to him as it was possible. Maybe the other boy would push him away but he just had to try.

Blaine moved a little closer to Kurt gaining his attention. His blue eyes were searching for something in Blaine's hazel ones and he looked a little uncertain but he remained silent. Blaine moved even closer keeping his eyes locked with Kurt's to make sure that it was all okay and he wasn't crossing any boundaries. He wrapped his arm around Kurt's body and snuggled his face into his firm chest breathing in his smell and feeling as if he was high on drugs.

For a moment Kurt laid motionless and Blaine feared that he might push him away but then to his surprise the taller boy also wrapped his arm around Blaine pulling him even closer into his embrace. Blaine wanted to lay like this all night without falling asleep. He didn't want to miss any of these precious minutes but it was just too warm and nice so soon enough he drifted off to sleep, feeling more safe and happy than ever.

* * *

The next day Blaine didn't feel sad. It seemed like everything could be alright after all. Maybe his mother would get better and be healthy and happy again. Maybe he would move to New York in a few years and finally confess his love to Kurt. Maybe Kurt actually loved him back.

Kurt also seemed a little happier, more hopeful. He kept talking how much fun they were going to have tonight and honestly Blaine couldn't wait for that. Pamela seemed actually happy that her son was going to go out and Blaine wasn't sure if it was because she wanted him to relax or if she was just sick of him.

Around eight o'clock in the evening Burt parked his car in front of the house and greeted them with a huge grin attached to his face. Blaine had to admit that he didn't remember when was the last time that he had seen him.

They talked for thirty minutes and only when Blaine made sure that Burt knew what to do in case something happened they left the house to get into the taxi. "You look really handsome tonight, Blaine." Kurt said smirking once they were sitting side by side in the car. His gaze travelled down his body and Blaine's cheek suddenly turned red. He wasn't really wearing anything special. Just a pair of fitting jeans and a yellow cardigan with a heavy coat on top.

Blaine cleared his throat and smiled back trying to play it cool and not show Kurt how much his compliment affected him. He looked Kurt up and down one more time admiring his sense of fashion. "You're clothes are pretty amazing as well." Kurt was wearing a pair of black skinny jeans, a leather jacket totally not suitable for this kind of weather and a colorful turtle neck underneath.

"I was not talking about your clothes." Kurt said. "It's nice to see you in a good mood. Yesterday you looked like a living dead." His smirk faded and he rested his hand on top of Blaine's. "There was no life in your eyes and now I'm finally starting to see my best friend again." He smiled again and this time it was a sad but hopeful smile.

"It's really hard to find a reason to smile these days." Blaine said honestly.

Kurt ignored Blaine's worsening mood and squeezed his hand. "Well, then I really hope that I will provide for you plenty of them tonight."

When they reached Scandals it felt weird to go in without showing their fake ids. In that moment Blaine felt really old. Looking around the club he realized that he hadn't been there since they were in high school. They ordered their drinks and sat at the bar stools listening to the old hits.

"As weird as that sounds I missed this place in a way." Kurt admitted as his gaze travelled through the room full of middle-aged men who probably had wives and kids waiting for them at home. "Even though I would like to avoid using any bathrooms here in fear that I might get some kind of disease it still is one of the only places where people like us don't have to hide anything. We can just be whoever we want to be without the fear of being laughed at or worse."

The bartender set their drinks in front of them and Blaine immediately took a sip. "I know what you mean." He said. "And I feel the same way." He looked around and smiled seeing a couple of kissing men. "This place has its charm."

They sat enjoying their drinks and listening to the music for a while getting into the atmosphere. They talked some more for the next hour until the alcohol running through their veins started working its magic. Despite how cheesy it was Blaine started nodding his head to the rhythm of music with his eyes closed. He opened them though when he heard Kurt laugh at him.

"What are you laughing at?" Blaine asked in fake annoyance.

"Because you're so horribly dorky that it's almost endearing." Kurt said still laughing.

Without much thinking Blaine raised to his feet and held out his hand for Kurt. The taller boy eyed his hand and raised his eyebrows in question. "May I have this dance?" He tried to make his voice sound as deep and seductive as it was possible.

"Well, if you're asking so nicely." Kurt replied and snuggled his hand into Blaine's. The dark-haired boy pulled him up to his feet and started dragging him towards the dance floor where many people were already dancing. Blaine pulled Kurt close to his body and wrapped his arms around his waist swinging them both slowly to the rhythm of music. Kurt laughed tangling his own arms around Blaine's neck.

They were looking straight into each other's eyes and Blaine could swear that in that moment he fell in love with Kurt all over again. His lips were slightly parted while his blue eyes were wide open. They were so close to each other that if Blaine wanted he could give names to all the freckles on Kurt's face.

Suddenly Kurt pulled slightly away, grabbed Blaine's hand and spun him around. Blaine lost his balance but before he could fall Kurt caught him wrapping him into his arms. He felt like a teenager again. Like he didn't have a care in the world. And in that moment Blaine thought that if he wanted he could make his biggest dream come true. And he really wanted that.

So against common sense Blaine decided to just go for it for once without fearing the consequences. He was sick of thinking what if and calculating if what he was about to do would make him happy. Waiting around wasn't making him happy. It had always been making him only more miserable. He had missed so many chances because of his irrational fears and now, while there was no one around to steal Kurt away Blaine let himself hope and dream.

He looked straight into Kurt's expressive eyes. He looked so happy and free that Blaine wanted to thank God for creating such a beautiful human being. Slowly Blaine started leaning forward, eager to feel Kurt's lips against his own. He was getting closer and closer, so close that he could feel Kurt's breath on his face. All he had to do was to get just a little bit _closer_.

But then Kurt ducked his head making the kiss impossible. A cold shiver ran down Blaine's spine as he realized what he had just done to their friendship, to them. Kurt didn't want that. He just wanted to remain friends while Blaine was foolish enough to think that things were different. When Kurt looked back at Blaine he looked devastated as if the other boy had just destroyed everything.

"Can we talk for a second?" Kurt asked loudly so that Blaine could hear him in spite of the music. The hazel-eyed boy just nodded his head pulling away from Kurt.

Embarrassed and mad at himself Blaine followed Kurt to the bar and they both sat down on their previously occupied seats. "I've been meaning to tell you something, Blaine." Kurt said seriously. He was looking at Blaine as if he was going to tell him that they weren't going to be friends anymore. Blaine was really scared in that moment that he was going to lose his best friend. "I met someone."

For a second Blaine couldn't understand the meaning of those words. His whole reality collapsed and he couldn't make sense of things anymore. They had danced as if they were more than friends, they had slept as if they were more than friends. And now Kurt was crushing down all his hopes. "What didn't you tell me before?"

"I honestly don't know." Kurt said shrugging and looking at the empty glass in front of him. "I kept waiting for the right moment but I guess it never came."

During all these years Blaine had foolishly thought that Kurt was going to remain single forever. He had tricked himself into thinking that Kurt would never be truly out of his reach.

Now he had to pretend that he wasn't dying on the inside, that his heart wasn't aching and yelling.


	14. Chapter 13

**February, 2017**

* * *

Blaine's nose rids filled with a heavenly smell of fried bacon and scrambled eggs. He grinned entering the kitchen where Pamela was just setting a plate full of food in front of Robert. The little boy though didn't look particularly happy. "Good morning!" Blaine greeted the two of them cheerfully.

"Hello, honey." His mother smiled brightly and returned to making breakfast while Robert barely even looked at his father. His eyes were glued to the food in front of him but it seemed like he wasn't hungry which was quite surprising since he loved scrambled eggs. Usually Blaine preferred if they ate more healthy but since it was Robert's birthday they could relax for a while and forget all about calories.

Blaine sat down on the chair next to Robert and ruffed his mop of curls. The little boy only glared at him. "What's wrong, buddy?" Blaine asked, getting slightly concerned. When Robert didn't answer Blaine repeated his question.

The little boy turned his huge vulnerable eyes towards his father. "You forgot." He whined, looking as though he would start crying anytime soon and Blaine would be angry at himself if his child started crying during his third birthday.

"How could I forget about your birthday? Of course daddy remembers." Blaine rested his hand on top of Robert's head and started rubbing it soothingly. He glanced over at his mother in search of some kind of help from her but she only shook her head. Blaine raised his eyebrows questioningly but she didn't say anything and instead just watched the scene play out in front of her eyes. "The cake's made and we're going to celebrate tonight. I didn't forget about anything."

The little boy lifted up his gaze glaring at Blaine. "Ducky." Robert finally whispered resting his head on top of his arms.

And then it hit Blaine. Robert had been recently very fond of a certain kids TV show about a duck so it was not a surprise that he had been asking for one. Blaine had promised that he would get him a plush duck for his birthday saying that the little boy would find it next to him in bed as soon as he woke up. Apparently Robert still remembered about that little detail while Blaine didn't.

"Oh, yes!" Blaine exclaimed searching in his mind for a reason behind the lack of presence of the duck in Robert's bed. "The duck…" Blaine began scratching the back of his neck. "It was hungry…so I had to feed it!" Blaine felt weird creating such stories but he really hoped that Robert would believe it.

Robert once again looked up at Blaine and to his horror he didn't look convinced. "Granny told me that the ducky is sick."

Blaine looked over at his mother to find her holding back laughter. He wanted to do something to her for not telling him anything and letting him get tangled in his own explanations. "Anyway!" Blaine said cheerfully turning back to Robert and grinning at him. "Your duck is well now so I'll bring it." He said raising to his feet. Robert finally stopped looking so sad and now he was just watching Blaine with curiosity and a trace of anticipation.

Blaine left the kitchen and walked to his bedroom to take the stuffed animal for his son. It was hidden in the closet so that Robert wouldn't find it before his birthday. Holding a yellow duck Blaine walked back downstairs and entered the kitchen. As soon as Robert saw what Blaine was holding in his hands he outstretched his arms and his eyes lighted up making the world seem just a tiny bit brighter and better. As he handed the duck to the little boy Blaine couldn't stop grinning.

Robert quickly hugged the duck, apparently with no intention of ever letting go. It amazed Blaine how easy it was to make him happy. When they all ate breakfast Pamela and Blaine just watched silently as Robert played with his newest toy both knowing that the little boy would most likely throw it in the corner in a day or two.

"There's a package for you from a certain someone." Pamela spoke up turning to her son. Blaine glanced at his mother raising his eyebrows in question. He hadn't been expecting anything from anyone. "But it's probably mostly for Robert since today's his birthday and all."

A small smile appeared on Blaine's face when he realized who it was probably from. "Is it from Kurt?" Pamela only smirked. "Where is it?"

"In the living room." Before his mother even stopped speaking Blaine stood up from the chair and walked into the living room where surely was a small package placed on the coffee table. He quickly grabbed it and sat down on the sofa, eager to find out what was inside. Blaine was pretty sure that it was probably some kind of toy for Robert but the mere idea of Kurt caring so much about Blaine's child was enough to set a thousand of butterflies free in Blaine's stomach.

He unwrapped it from a colorful paper and carefully opened the box with a pair of scissors. Inside were another two smaller boxes. He took out the smaller one wondering what could be inside. He slowly opened it and let his gaze rest on the framed picture for a few seconds. When Blaine took the picture out and the sunlight illuminated it he could make out what was really there.

It was a picture of Blaine, Sebastian and Kurt all sitting on this very sofa and making silly faces to the camera. It took Blaine a moment to remember when it had been taken but then it occurred to him. Pamela had taken it with Kurt's cell phone during the summer break two and a half year ago. Blaine smiled softly but at the same time he felt like he was going to start crying right there and then. Everything had been easier back then.

Now Blaine didn't talk to Sebastian, Kurt had a boyfriend and he was still in his hometown, away from New York. Blaine traced his thumb over the surface of the picture hoping that someday everything would be alright again. He shouldn't complain though. Pamela had beaten the cancer and now she was a healthy woman again making Blaine so proud of her. She had shown all of them just how much fight she had inside. How much she loved life and how much she didn't want to let go of it.

Theoretically now Blaine could finally move to New York but he realized that it was not a good idea. He couldn't drop out of college one more time and start everything all over again. It was a chance for him to provide a good future to Robert and he couldn't waste it. Then, after graduation maybe he would start looking for luck in the Big Apple.

Blaine put the framed picture on the coffee table trying not to cry. He was about to put the small box aside and open the second one but then he noticed that on the bottom there was a folded piece of paper. He took it out of the box and unfolded. His gaze travelled up and down the page as he discovered that it was a birthday card for Robert completed with another picture, this time Blaine didn't recognize the photograph. Probably because it had been taken without him. On the picture there was Kurt sitting on a park bench beside his boyfriend, Jared. They were holding hands and waving to the camera.

Some part of Blaine wanted to tear the picture apart, burn it and never took at it again but he quickly shushed this part of him, knowing that it would be stupid and childish. This was all for Robert anyway. Not for him so he shouldn't complain about it. At the bottom of the page there was a fragment handwritten by Kurt.

 _These pictures are for both you and Robert so that you remember that you have a lot of people who would do everything for you, Kurt and Jared_

This made Blaine both happy and sad at the same time. Happy because the first picture had brought so many good memories and sad because the second one only reminded Blaine of what he couldn't have. But he was more happy than sad because despite everything at least he knew that Kurt deeply cared about him, even though he was so far away. It had to be enough.

Blaine put the birthday card aside and grabbed the other box. Inside there was children's book about ducks for Robert. Blaine smirked having trouble believing that Kurt remembered about that. He had mentioned Robert's recent obsession with the ducks just once or twice. The little boy was going to be all crazy about it. Blaine couldn't wait to read it to him in the evening.

All in all Blaine felt emotionally wrecked. Looking at the picture of him and his two best friends Blaine started wondering if maybe he should contact Sebastian and try to make amends with him. He missed him horribly but he was afraid that things could become awkward between them after their last encounter, or even worse, he feared that maybe Sebastian was still mad at him and didn't want anything to do with him. He would have called him after all.

For at least fifteen minutes Blaine just stared at the picture wishing that both Sebastian and Kurt could be there with him.

* * *

"Does Rob like the book?" Kurt asked, looking like he desperately wanted the answer to be yes.

"He absolutely loves it." Blaine said honestly remembering how excited Robert was while listening to the story about a brave duck while hugging his own stuffed one. "And I absolutely love the picture." Blaine really hoped that Kurt wouldn't notice his use of singular form. "It brings so many good memories."

"Maybe it will motivate you to reach your hand out to Sebastian." Kurt suggest carefully. Blaine still refused to tell him why they didn't talk to each other anymore and he felt kind of bad about it but for some reason Blaine didn't want Kurt to have a picture of him kissing someone else in his mind. "You could solve your issues, whatever they are."

"I'll think about it." Blaine said, honestly wanting to work things out between them but fearing that he wouldn't be brave enough to do so.

"I hope so." Kurt said, then his face saddened. "I can't believe that it's been three whole years since you moved out of our apartment." Kurt looked sad, deflated and conflicted and Blaine suspected that it wasn't all from a sudden wave of nostalgia. "Time flays by, doesn't it?"

"It does." Blaine admitted. "I can't believe that in a few months you're going to graduate from college. It's crazy."

"And scary." Kurt said and in that moment Blaine realized that it was the reason why he looked so conflicted. "Sometimes I wish I could be a college student forever." He chuckled but it was forced and fake. "Actually, there is something I need to tell you."

"What is it?" Blaine asked, preparing himself for a difficult conversation.

The picture on the computer screen was a little blurred but it was still easy to notice how brokenhearted Kurt was. "People at the university keep telling me that I'm really talented and that I have high skills which is apparently desired in the architect companies."

"It's good, isn't it?" Blaine questioned when Kurt was silent for a moment.

"I suppose so." Kurt said but he didn't sound convinced. "I've received a job proposition. A very good job proposition."

"But for some reason you feel conflicted about it?" Blaine asked softly wishing that he could give Kurt a hug and make him feel better.

"I do." Kurt said. "It's in London."

Blaine's mouth hung open and for a few seconds he couldn't process the words correctly. London was in The Great Britain which meant that Kurt would have to move to a different continent if he wanted to have the job. "In London?" Blaine asked, hoping against hope that it was a mistake.

"Yes." Kurt said. "And I don't really know what to do. It's a great opportunity for me but at the same time I would have to leave all of the people I love here. I don't want to do that."

Blaine wanted to scream at him to stay. Beg him on his knees with tears running down his cheeks because even though they couldn't see each other face to face, without the computer screen between them on daily basis already, it was still better than living on two different continents and spending even less time together.

But he couldn't show Kurt how much it would hurt him because if Kurt wanted that, if it was his dream Blaine couldn't stand on his way to achieving that. "Do you want to go there?"

"God, yes!" Kurt exclaimed. "I've been dreaming about revisiting Europe for so many years and now when I have the opportunity to go there it would be stupid of me to reject it." He looked straight into Blaine's eyes. "But I don't want to leave all the people I love behind. They are a part of me after all."

"What about Jared and your dad? What do they think about this?" Blaine asked, knowing that neither Kurt's boyfriend nor dad were probably happy about sending Kurt off to another continent.

Kurt bit his bottom lip. "They don't know about it yet because I know they will want to stop me from going there. At least Jared. I wanted to ask you first." Kurt said sincerely. "Because you've always encouraged me to do what I wanted and I really count on your unbiased opinion right now. I need it." Kurt added and Blaine knew that his opinion would surely affect him. If he wanted he could make Kurt stay.

"Honestly? I don't want you to be even further away from me than you already are." Blaine admitted. "But letting you stay in the States and knowing that you could be regretting not going there would be even worse. So in my opinion you should go and make your dreams come true." He smiled a little wanting to make Kurt feel better about this. "And if Jared doesn't want to let you go? Fuck him. He should support your decisions no matter what."

Kurt smiled sadly. "Thank you, Blaine. I can always count on you. You have no idea how much I appreciate your friendship."

Blaine sent Kurt a smile even though his heart was breaking once again. Sometimes it felt like his love for Kurt was one of the most ridiculous and unjustified things ever. Maybe it was finally time to move on and start sorting out his feelings and life.

* * *

"That sucks, Blaine. I'm so sorry." Melissa said from her seat beside Blaine. They were slowly sipping on their coffees in a café with books and notebooks spread on the table in front of them. The girl covered Blaine's hand with her own smiling sadly at her friend.

"If it's going to make him happy he's doing the right thing." Blaine said no matter how much it pained him to even think that.

"Maybe it's finally time to move on from him." Melissa said quietly taking another sip of her drink.

Mellissa was the only person beside Quinn who knew about Blaine's hopeless feelings for his best friend and Blaine trusted that she would keep this information to herself. "Probably yes. But I'm not sure how to do this." Blaine said, mad at Kurt for owning such a huge part of his heart.

The girl sitting next to him looked as if she wanted to say something to comfort him but just as she opened her mouth they heard someone approaching their table. When Blaine looked up he noticed one of the guys that he shared some classes with. They weren't really friends but they would sometimes chat or do homework together. "Hi, Blaine." The boy, Daniel, greeted him.

He was quite handsome. Daniel had a short blond hair, dark brown eyes and his body was toned but not over muscular. "Hello, Daniel. What's up?" Blaine asked not really sure what the other boy wanted from him. Now he noticed that Daniel looked slightly nervous but still somehow confident.

"I have two tickets for a Coldplay concert. It's in two weeks." The boy said. "And I've seen a few times that you like listening to their songs." He paused for a moment smiling softly at Blaine. "And I was wondering if maybe you would like to come with me?"

Blaine was about to say no in some kind way just like he always did. For a few years he had been rejecting every single date invitation knowing that he wouldn't be able to commit to anybody while loving Kurt. But now when Kurt was about to flee the country Blaine had a chance to try falling in love with someone else. So he smiled back and shrugged saying: "Why not? It could be fun."

Daniel grinned as if he just won the lottery. "That's amazing. I will text to all the details later, okay?"

"Sure." Blaine said casually, not nearly as excited as Daniel but also happy about it.

"So talk to you later." Daniel said as he slowly walked away while still smiling brightly.

Blaine turned back to Mellissa to find her smirking at him. "That's definatly a good start."


	15. Chapter 14

**May, 2017**

* * *

Blaine kept playing with his fingers not really knowing if he was more exited or nervous. He looked through the window at all the tall buildings and colorful people walking down the streets unable to stop himself from wondering who he would be if he was still living in the city. Maybe he would be getting ready for the graduation. He really had trouble picturing his alternate life in New York but he knew that staying at home and focusing all of his attention on raising Robert was the right choice.

A few minutes later Blaine realized that he was in the district that was quite familiar to him. A wave of nostalgia washed over him making Blaine remember all the good and bad memories connected with this place. He missed hearing the loud cars in the middle of the night, he missed annoying neighbors and over expressive people on the streets who would stop him just to compliment him on his shoes. But at the same time Blaine knew that he would never trade Robert for this.

Blaine closed his eyes trying to prepare himself for what was about to come. He would be faced with Jared, Kurt's boyfriend. He would see them smile at each other, touch and maybe even kiss. As much as he wanted to convince himself that he was moving on from Kurt it was actually far from truth. He had let himself go on a few dates and have one or two one night stands but it didn't help much. Kurt had stolen Blaine's heart without even realizing it and it seemed like he wouldn't get it back anytime soon.

The cab stopped making Blaine open his eyes. Looking through the window once more he realized that they were already in front of the building where Blaine once lived. He thanked the driver and got out of the car taking his small suitcase. Blaine looked up remembering how much he used to love this place. Suddenly panic started bubbling up in his body as he started wondering if visiting Kurt without any announcement, even during such an important day was really a good idea. What if Kurt already had plans that wouldn't allow Blaine to join him?

Blaine quickly composed himself though telling himself that he was there for Kurt, to tell him how proud he felt to call him his best friend and how happy for him he was. Keeping that in mind Blaine approached the building and typed the code that he still remembered into the intercom. To his joy the door unlocked letting Blaine in. He pushed the door open and entered the building noting the everything still looked exactly the same. It was a little scary how nothing had changed.

Blaine walked up the stairs not really trusting the elevator. When he was finally standing in front of the door to Kurt's apartment for a few minutes Blaine debated with himself whether or not he should knock. At last he decided that he didn't live there anymore and he didn't have the right to just walk in as if he owned the place. With a trembling heart Blaine lifted up his hand and softly knocked against the wooden door, excited that just in a few seconds he would find himself face to face with his best friend.

Surely a few seconds later Blaine heard someone approaching the door and then the sound of the key being turned in the hole. Blaine's heart started beating even faster when the door started to open. But then when Blaine saw who was on the other side all the excitement disappeared almost instantly. He saw a girl around his age with long black hair, blue eyes and pale skin. She studied him wordlessly for a few seconds and then smiled broadly, clearly realizing who he was.

"You must be Blaine!" She exclaimed cheerfully with a heavy British accent.

Blaine smiled back at her reaching out his hand towards her. "And you must be Amanda."

"Yes, that would be me." The girl said as she took his offered hand and shook it firmly. "I've seen many pictures of you but nothing could ever prepare me for how gorgeous you really are. It's a shame that you're gay."

Blaine chuckled loving how open about her feelings she was. "Thank you."

"Come on in." The girl moved away to let Blaine walked past her. As he entered the apartment Blaine's eyes widened and for a moment he just stood speechless looking at his surroundings, not quite able to believe how much everything had changed during his absence. The walls were pained in a different color, all the furniture was replaced with more stylish equivalents and there were pictures on the walls and on almost every available surface. It seemed like Amanda and Kurt loved their memories so much that they wanted to have them close all the time.

"What's wrong?" Blaine turned around to find Amanda staring at him with her brows furrowed.

The hazel-eyed boy shrugged looking at all the pictures. "I just can't believe how much has changed since I last was here. This place looked like mess back then. Now it finally feels like a home." Blaine couldn't turn his eyes away from the pictures. His attention was drawn to his own set of eyes staring back at him from the wall.

It was a picture from Paris. Blaine didn't even know that Kurt had taken it. It was in front of an art gallery that Kurt had dragged Blaine to against his will. The hazel-eyed boy was leaning against the wall with sunglasses covering his eyes and a small smirk playing on his lips. Blaine had to admit that he looked quite good. The picture was actually pretty artistic.

There were other pictures of course. One of Kurt and his father, another one of Amanda and some guy, and then one more of Kurt and Jared. "Do you want something to drink? We have coffee and tea." She smirked at him. "Or maybe you prefer something else? I'm pretty sure that I have a bottle of wine hidden somewhere and I've been looking for a reason to open it." She winked at him.

Blaine chucked. "A tea would be fine, thanks."

"Alright." Amanda said before going into the living room which still was a combination of both kitchen and dining room with a sofa and a TV set in the middle. Blaine followed her noticing that it looked way more organized than before. He sat down on the sofa watching as Amanda made the tea. Then his gaze landed on the framed picture located on the coffee table. Something inside of him shifted when he noticed that it was a picture of him and Robert taken a few months ago and then sent to Kurt.

"So where's Kurt?" It was nearing eight PM so Blaine was a little surprised that his best friend wasn't there.

Amanda turned around to look at Blaine as she waited for the water to boil. "He's out with Jared. They've been going out a lot recently. I guess they're trying to spend as much time with each other as they can while Kurt is still here."

"Probably." Blaine admitted, somehow sadly. He really didn't want to meet Jared and see how amazing he was to Kurt. How much he could give Kurt. "What are you going to do after graduation?" Blaine asked not wanting to just sit awkwardly for the whole time without saying anything.

Amanda shrugged. "I'm not going back to England. That's for sure." She said.

"Why not?" Blaine asked.

A dreamy smile made its way onto Amanda's face. "I fell in love with New York a long time ago. I would never willingly leave this place." She paused for a moment to pour the water into two mugs. She set them both on the coffee table in front of Blaine and sat down next to him resting her back against the sofa cushions. "What about you? From what I know you've still got some time but what are your plans after you finish college?"

Blaine opened his mouth to say that he of course was going to move to New York but he quickly closed it realizing that he didn't really know anymore if living in this city was his dream. Without Kurt it wasn't really what he wanted. "I don't know." Blaine answered honestly. "I guess I still have to figure out what I really want."

"You have time. Don't stress about it." Amanda said calmly. She checked the time on her cell phone and turned back to Blaine. "I hope you're not out of luck today." Blaine raised his eyebrows in confusion. "Sometimes Kurt doesn't come back home."

The image of Kurt laying in bed with Jared immediately popped up in Blaine's mind and he had to try his hardest not to show Amanda how much it affected him. "I should have probably called him." Blaine summed up thinking how ridiculous it all really was. What if Kurt was not going to show up tonight and Amanda had places to be but was scared to leave a stranger alone in her apartment? Suddenly Blaine felt really stupid.

"Maybe. I'm going to ask him whether or not he's going to get home tonight or not." Amanda took her cell phone out of her pocket, unlocked the screen and started typing something, most likely a text message for Kurt. They waited for a few minutes until they heard the short ringtone. "It seems you're lucky after all. Kurt's says he's going to be home in twenty minutes."

Blaine sighed in relief, happy than in less than half an hour he was going to be reunited with his best friend. He should be used to being apart from Kurt by now but even though his absence was less painful than it used to be Blaine still could often find himself dreaming about cuddling to Kurt and then waking up with no one by his side.

He took a sip of the tea, smiling as he realized that it was Kurt's favorite kind. Green with some honey to sweeten it without adding empty calories in the form of sugar. It seemed like Amanda knew his best friend very well. "How did you meet Kurt?" Amanda asked curiously gripping her own mug tightly in her hands.

Blaine closed his eyes for a moment to let the memories flood into his mind. "It was our freshman year of high school. I didn't know anybody there so I tried talking to random people but they didn't really want to talk to me." Blaine paused for a moment remembering how lost he had felt back then. "So the first day was a little lonely. I ate my lunch surrounded by people I didn't know the names of."

"And the next day when I went to the restroom to do my business I came across a boy with his face and clothes all red from a slushie. As you probably can imagine it was Kurt. I helped him and from then on we decided to stick together. He introduced me to his friends from middle school, Quinn and Sebastian and for the rest of the high school I wasn't alone."

"I wish I had friends like you do." Amanda said. "Despite the distance you still remain best friends. That's something worth fighting for."

"Definitely." Blaine agreed with a small smile.

They talked some more about Amanda's college and Blaine's job in the book store until they heard the sound of the key being turned in the lock. The dark-haired girl sent Blaine a knowing smile as they both kept their eyes glued to the front door. Kurt opened it and entered the apartment looking tired and slightly frustrated.

"I hope the dinner's ready!" Kurt called as he started taking off his shoes, too focused on his task to notice that Amanda and Blaine were sitting on the sofa in absolute silence and watching him closely. Blaine couldn't stop himself from smiling but he was a little concerned about Kurt's obvious lack of good mood.

When Kurt entered the living room area he stopped in his tracks as his gaze landed on Blaine. His mouth hung open as he kept staring at his best friend in utter shock. But then the frown was replaced by a lovely smile which made his blue eyes sparkle. "What are you doing here, Blaine?" He asked, clearly surprised but also happy upon seeing him.

Blaine put the mug down on the coffee table and stood up from the sofa before slowly approaching Kurt. "I thought I would surprise you." Blaine said shrugging. "Aren't you happy to see me?"

"You've got to be kidding me, Blaine." Without any warning Kurt quickly gathered Blaine in his arms holding him tightly. "I am more than happy! I am amazed! I am dancing on air happy!"

Blaine laughed feeling the happy tears well up in his eyes. He quickly composed himself though enjoying being able to be so close to Kurt. "Me too." He said pulling away so that he could look straight into Kurt's eyes. "I wanted to support you during such an important day." It could also be the last time that Blaine had a chance to see his best friend face to face before his departure to London but he decided not to mention it for now.

"I love you, Blaine!" Kurt exclaimed cheerfully and then hugged Blaine one more time. His whole body went lax and Blaine was happy that he had someone to hold him in that moment. He knew deep down that these words didn't mean much but he couldn't help the overwhelming feeling of happiness building up inside of him. They were best friends, of course Kurt loved him in a way. This declaration was sudden, unexpected but more than welcome even though Blaine knew that it was only a confirmation of what they already felt for each other.

Or maybe Kurt meant it in a different way. Maybe he had been searching for a perfect moment to tell Blaine that he loved him without really confessing his true feelings. Maybe it had been buried inside of his soul for such a long time that he just had to shout it out because otherwise he would go insane.

He quickly dismissed these thoughts though knowing how dangerous it was to get lost in his own fantasies. Blaine could easily trick himself into thinking that his feelings towards Kurt were requited but there was no point in creating such a beautiful delusion. Kurt had a boyfriend, he was taken, off limits and even imagining them in a relationship right now was wrong.

When Kurt pulled away Blaine was mostly alright even though he knew he would recall this moment many times, no matter how insignificant it could possibly be to Kurt. "Let me just take a quick shower and then you will have me all for yourself, alright?"

"Sure." Blaine said with a smile, still a little lightheaded from each feeling he was experiencing in that moment. Kurt smiled back and soon disappeared into the bathroom. The hazel-eyed boy just stood like that, with his eyes glued to the door for a few moments until he realized that Amanda was still sitting on the sofa, most likely watching his unusual behavior.

Blaine slowly turned around and surely she was staring at him with a sad smile on her face as if she knew exactly what he was going through. She looked as if she wanted to tell him that everything was going to be eventually alright but luckily she didn't comment on that as they waited together for Kurt to come out of the bathroom. Blaine didn't want anyone to say out loud what he had been afraid of expressing for such a long time.

When Kurt exited the bathroom he looked more relaxed and refreshed. "Do you want to go out somewhere?" He asked Blaine looking hopeful.

"You just came home." Blaine pointed out with a short laugh.

"I did." Kurt agreed. "But you're here now and I would love to spend some time with my best friend."

"We could do this here." Blaine said even though he dreamed of being alone with Kurt, no matter how much he was starting to like Amanda. He could see that despite his great efforts to hide it Kurt was tired. There were dark shadows under Kurt's eyes and Blaine knew that the other boy really needed rest.

"You know what?" Amanda spoke up looking up from her cell phone and eyeing the two of them. "They're playing a movie in the theaters that I've been dying to see since like forever." Kurt raised his eyebrows, clearly skeptical. "You two catch up and I'll have fun in the city."

It was more than obvious that the girl just wanted to get out of the way sensing that the two of them needed to spend some time on their own. "You sure about that?" Kurt questioned but his voice was weak and it seemed like he didn't want to fight over her staying home with them.

"I'm positive." Amanda said and in less than ten minutes the girl gathered her things, grabbed a jacket, kissed Kurt on the cheek and left the apartment.

"She's really great." Blaine pointed out from his spot on the sofa.

Kurt smiled softly as he took a seat beside Blaine. "Yeah…she really is. She's become very close to me over the years." His voice was quite and soft. "You have no idea how happy I am that you're here." Kurt said and suddenly moved closer to Blaine leaning his head against his shoulder and closing his eyes. "The last few weeks have been crazy for me and I have a feeling that you're the right person to keep me sane."

"What's wrong?" Blaine asked, suddenly getting concerned.

Kurt let out a long breath. "Jared's not too happy about me moving to London." Blaine leaned his own head against Kurt's enjoying the feeling of his hair thickening Blaine's face. "I can't say that I'm surprised but I'm getting kind of tired of this. Working in London, among a group of fantastic people is an amazing opportunity for me and I want him to be happy for me."

Blaine was quiet for a moment not wanting to show Kurt just how upset _he_ was over his departure. "Jared's probably scared of losing someone as incredible as you."

Kurt laughed a little. "But he's not going to lose me. I'm not going to stay in London forever."

"Aren't you though?"

"What do you mean by that?"

Blaine half-shrugged. "Can you guarantee that you will come back?"

"Of course I-"

"No, you can't." Blaine quickly cut him off staring off into distance. "The fact is that you don't know if you're going to like London or not. It can turn out to be the best thing that ever happened to you. Why would you want to leave then?"

"I-" Kurt sighed and Blaine felt his warm breath on his neck. "I will always come back to the place where my heart lies." He paused for a moment. "London can't steal my heart if it is going to stay here."

His answer was enigmatic and one could find many meanings of his words but Blaine decided not to look for something that probably wasn't there so instead he just leaned into Kurt's touch and closed his eyes before saying: "Then you should tell this to him. Maybe it will make him understand."

"Maybe." Kurt said but he didn't sound convinced. "But what if this whole move into a different continent is really a bad idea and I should just stay in New York and look for a job here?"

"No, you have already agreed." Blaine said firmly. "There is no coming back."

"I'm sure if I made some calls everything could still be called off."

"If you decided to do something so stupid I would never speak to you again." Blaine said knowing full well that it wasn't true. He would never willingly lose touch with Kurt.

"Then I guess I have no other option." Kurt said. "I hope you will visit me some day?"

"I most certainly will." Blaine said, determined to keep that promise.

They talked for an hour or two and then turned on the TV to watch something together. When Blaine noticed that Kurt kept yawning and could barely keep his eyes open he decided that it was his time to go to sleep whether he liked it or not. "Go to sleep. I can see how much you want to."

"I'm fine." Kurt said but then he yawned again making them both giggle. "Okay, maybe I could use some sleep but you certainly need some rest as well." Kurt concluded studying Blaine's face.

"Alright, just give me some blankets and I will make the sofa all soft and comfy." Blaine said feeling that he wouldn't be able to sleep tonight but determined to at least try.

"Are you kidding me?" Kurt questioned, suddenly looking a little more awake than before. "You are not sleeping on the sofa, Blaine. This is basically also your apartment and it would be wrong if you didn't sleep in bed tonight."

"But-" Blaine tired to argue but he knew that the battle was already lost.

"No buts." Kurt said firmly. "We've slept together many times already." Kurt said, obviously unaware of how that sentence could be interpreted. Blaine's cheeks turned slightly red but he didn't let it show.

"Alright." Blaine agreed not the one to reject a possibility of sleeping in the same bed as Kurt and feeling the warmth of his body next to him. He didn't mean it in a vulgar way. Blaine didn't dream of having sex with Kurt, he dreamed of being with him in the most innocent of ways.

As Kurt walked into the bedroom Blaine entered the bathroom to take a shower and brush his teeth. When he noticed that bathroom was one of the only places in the apartment that hadn't really changed that much memories started rushing into his mind making him feel like he was once again nineteen years old.

When Blaine was ready, dressed in comfortable pajamas, he entered the bedroom noticing that there was only a small lamp illuminating the room located on the bedside table. Kurt was already cocooned in the covers even though it wasn't cold at all and when Blaine moved a little closer he realized that his best friend was already fast asleep.

A small smile made its way onto Blaine's face as he just watched Kurt in silence. Then he jumped under the covers keeping some distance between him and Kurt. He turned his head to the side to look at Kurt for a while longer and before he could really start admiring his beauty Blaine fell into a peaceful sleep feeling like this was the way he should fall asleep every night.

* * *

Before Blaine could fully awake he heard raised voices and loud footsteps. Only after a few seconds he could make out the words. "What the fuck is going on, Kurt? Who is he? What is he doing in your bed?"

Blaine opened his eyes sensing that this whole weird situation was somehow caused by him, and found a very angry looking man staring at both him and Kurt. The taller boy quickly got up from the bed, looking both angry and frustrated. "Good morning, Jared." He said with irony. Blaine let his gaze land on the young man standing in front of the bed, allowing himself to take him all in.

Jared had a set of dark blue eyes which looked like an ocean during a storm and neatly stylized, shoulder-length light blond hair. He was tall, taller than Kurt and most definitely much taller than Blaine. His whole face was red and crunched up which made him look rather comical. The man was wearing a black leather jacket and a pair of skinny blue jeans making him look nonchalant but still somehow elegant.

"What is going on here?" Jared demanded crossing his arms over his chest and looking between Kurt and Blaine.

"Do you remember my best friend, Blaine?" Kurt asked gesturing at the other boy. Blaine slightly raised his hand and waved not knowing what else to do. "I told you all about him."

Jared opened his mouth and closed a few times, looking less angry and more helpless like a fish taken out of water. It seemed like he still couldn't make sense of this whole situation. "But what were you doing sleeping in the same bed?" He asked angrily gesturing with his hands vividly.

"Certainly not what you think we were." Kurt said rolling his eyes, clearly more annoyed than anything else.

"Could you please explain to me what is it all about? Because right now I feel like punching this guy's nose." He pointed straight at Blaine's face. "And I need you to convince me not to do that."

Blaine decided that it would be a good idea to get out of Kurt's bed so he pulled himself up to his feet and slowly approached Jared, slightly afraid of what the man could do to him. "Hi, my name is Blaine Anderson." Blaine introduced himself politely before Kurt could explain anything. "I don't believe we've met." He reached out his hand for Jared to shake but he only eyed it, clearly with no intention to even touch it. "Look, I know it might look a little weird to you but I can assure you that we are just friends and nothing happened in this bed." He paused for a moment to look over at Kurt. The other boy was looking at him with curiosity and even a trace of amusement. "Kurt was kind enough to offer sleeping in the same bed just because I tend to have trouble sleeping on the sofas…in unfamiliar places…I mean…ugh…yeah."

Jared still looked confused as hell while Kurt started laughing. "Alright." Jared said at last. "I guess I am obligated to trust my boyfriend after all. Or so I've been told." He said looking over at Kurt. He walked over to him and softly took his hand into his. "I'm sorry but it just looked really weird and I didn't know what to think."

"It's okay." Kurt said still laughing. "You are forgiven." He reached his arms forward and embraced his boyfriend in a hug leaving Blaine to just stand there, half-naked and watch the whole exchange. Now that Blaine was more awake it really occurred to him that his biggest nightmare was coming true right before his eyes. Of course Blaine wanted Kurt to be happy but it hurt so much to see the two of them so close to each other, so lost in one another.

Eventually Blaine had to look away not wanting to break down and cause a scene exposing himself to both Kurt and his boyfriend during such an important day. In that moment, more than ever before Blaine wanted to confess his love. He wished he could stand between the two of them, push Jared away and cup Kurt's face in his hands and kiss him the way no one ever had before.

But he couldn't just destroy everything Kurt had worked for. What would Blaine's actions cause? Probably nothing good. "Blaine?" The hazel-eyed boy looked up to find the two lovers holding hands and smiling softly at each other. When Kurt looked over at Blaine though he looked as if he was going to say something he didn't want to. "Could you please leave the two of us alone for a sec?"

For some reason Kurt's request was even more painful than watching them kiss. It meant that Blaine didn't have access to every part of Kurt's life anymore. "Sure." Blaine forced himself to smile and left the room as soon as he could not caring how awkward it looked.

He stood with his back leaned against the closed door for a few seconds breathing heavily and cursing his heart for being so sensitive and vulnerable. "Good morning there." He heard Amanda's voice coming from the centre of the room. When Blaine looked around he noticed the girl sitting by the table and slowly eating toasts. She was smiling warmly at him, clearly deciding to ignore his little breakdown. "I've made toasts." She said pointing at the full plate on the table as if it wasn't obvious. "There's also a pot of coffee made. Help yourself."

"Thanks." Blaine said slowly moving away from the door. He walked into the kitchen area, grabbed a plate and a glass filled with dark steamy liquid before sitting down beside Amanda. He placed some toast on his plate, put some marmalade on them and slowly stared chewing on his food.

"Not a good beginning of day?" Amanda asked when Blaine chose to look at his plate instead of her.

"Not really." Blaine replied not able to muster much enthusiasm for her.

"Jared doesn't like other people touching his things." Amanda said quietly, as if afraid that the man could hear her.

"Kurt's not a thing." Blaine said grumpily. "But I guess sleeping in the same bed with a taken guy might not have been the brightest of ideas."

Amanda laughed and her laugh was so contagious and honest that Blaine couldn't help but smile himself. The soft smile vanished though as Blaine started imagining what Kurt and Jared could be doing behind the closed door. What if Jared could see right through him? What if he could somehow sense, just like Amanda, that Blaine's feelings towards Kurt weren't entirely platonic?

"Probably not." Amanda agreed. "But don't worry about him. Jared's generally a good guy and fun to be around." She paused for a moment. "But he doesn't agree with some of Kurt's life choices."

"Yeah, I know." Blaine said not really knowing what he felt anymore. He didn't want Kurt to be unhappy because of his boyfriend's disapproval and yet it was comforting in a way to think that their relationship wasn't perfect. Blaine hated himself for feeling this way but there was nothing he could do about it.

"So, for how long are you going to stay in New York?" Amanda asked, clearly sensing that Blaine needed to focus on something else than Kurt. "Are you going home right after Kurt's graduation or is this a longer trip?"

"My flight home is tomorrow afternoon." Blaine said, sad that he had to come back home so soon. Despite the fact that he wanted to spend with Kurt as much time as he could, while it was still possible Blaine knew that he needed come back home to his son. "I wish I could stay for longer though." Blaine said quietly looking down at his hands. "New York was always my dream but now…" He looked back at Amanda, meaning something else, something more significant than just the city. This place was a symbol of his youth and love. It was a truly magical city. "…I guess it is just going to remain a childish fantasy."

"Don't say that." The girl quickly rushed to say reaching her hand across the table and covering Blaine's with hers. "What exactly is stopping you from coming here?"

"I need to graduate from college first." Blaine said instantly. "You can't be spontaneous if you have a kid to look after."

The dark-haired girl smiled sadly. "Yeah, I guess I understand your point. In that case are you planning to come to New York after you graduate?"

"I honestly don't know." Blaine said honestly, truly surprised that he could be so open to a girl he didn't even know at all. "I just don't know anymore if I dream about being in New York in general or being in New York with Kurt. Without him…I-" He paused for a moment, unsure of what to say while Amanda kept looking at him knowingly with a sad sympathetic smile playing on her lips. "I don't know if I belong here."

After that statement they remained silent but surprisingly it wasn't awkward and uncomfortable. Instead it was filled with understanding and contemplation as they slowly ate their breakfast.

A few minutes later the door to Kurt's bedroom opened and the couple walked out with matching grins on their faces. They grabbed plates and sat down next to Blaine and Amanda. "Alright," Kurt began. "We have two hours to get ready and I still have no idea how stylize my hair, much less Jared's." Kurt's boyfriend rolled his eyes at that but laughed indicating that he didn't really mind having his hairstyle chosen by Kurt. Kurt then pointed his finger by Amanda. "I'm counting on your help on that. No excuses." When the girl nodded her head the young man turned to Blaine. "And you." He said seriously as if they were discussing a war strategy. "You need to go to the floweriest and buy a bouquet of flowers for my teacher."

"What if I chose something she's not going to like?" Blaine questioned not wanting to accidentally make Kurt look stupid.

"She's a horrifying old bitch so I couldn't care less." Kurt smiled smiling ironically. "She has been tormenting me since the start of my junior year so to show her how ironic I can be she's the only teacher I'm buying anything for." He paused for a moment. "Nod if you understand." Kurt said when Blaine remained silent. He did as he was told and Kurt smiled, clearly satisfied. "Then you are going to go to the Cheesecake Factory and buy me some chocolate monster so that I can eat my emotions." This time he didn't wait for Blaine to nod but just turned to Jared immediately. "And you, mister, are you just going to sit here and do nothing since taming that beast…" His gaze landed on Jared's blond hair. "…is going to take us half of the time we have."

They all quickly finished breakfast and started doing what they were supposed to do. Amanda and Kurt made some kind of mini hairdresser's salon while Jared searched the internet on his laptop trying to find some ideas for his hair. Blaine wanted to stay and see how it was all going to go but unfortunately he had to leave the apartment.

As he walked along the streets Blaine kept looking around and thinking of how much he wanted to have that life. Every time he saw a group of young people chatting and laughing together Blaine imagined himself and Kurt living in New York together and learning how to live on their own. Unfortunately that was never going to come true now and Blaine just had to accept that as his new reality and move on.

It was unfair because now he couldn't even dream that one day he was going to join Kurt because he wouldn't be there waiting with open arms. Everything had changed and Blaine just wanted to reverse time and make everything right. He wanted to say yes when Kurt had asked him to be his boyfriend. He wanted to know what it was like to go through the city hand in hand with his best friend. He wanted to kiss him, hold him and cherish every second spent with Kurt. Blaine would be a perfect boyfriend. He would buy him flowers, go to all the places he didn't want to visit just because Kurt wanted him to be there.

But Blaine had lost his chance a long time ago and now someone else could enjoy being with Kurt.

He walked into the nearest flower shop and bought a random bouquet since Kurt didn't care which one he would pick. Then he walked a few blocks north to buy the cheesecake for Kurt. Blaine didn't exactly know if Kurt meant it as a joke or not but he decided to purchase it anyway.

Forty minutes later Blaine was back inside the apartment holding the bouquet in one hand and the packed cheesecake in the other. In the living room area only Jared was present. He was sitting on the sofa and typing something on his cell phone. His hair seemed to be already under control. It was tied up in an elegant pony tail which made his whole face more visible. Blaine had to admit to himself that the man was pretty nice to look at.

When Blaine closed the door Jared looked up at him smiling hesitantly. "Oh, you're back." He pointed out as if it wasn't obvious.

"Yep." Blaine answered as though it was a question. "Where are Kurt and Amanda?" He asked, suddenly feeling a desperate need to find himself away from Jared.

"Kurt is helping Amanda pick out a perfect dress for the occasion." He said looking at Blaine carefully.

"Alright." Blaine said nodding his head and standing still like an idiot.

"Actually," Jared began. "Can we talk for a second?" He asked.

"Sure." Blaine said even though he really didn't feel like being in the same room alone with Jared, much less having a proper conversation. He put the cake and the bouquet on the kitchen table and then awkwardly sat down on the sofa beside Jared, barely even looking at him.

" For how long have you known Kurt?" Jared asked studying Blaine's face carefully. He had a feeling that Kurt's boyfriend already knew the answer but for some reason decided to ask anyway.

"Since freshman year of high school." Blaine replied without any hesitation.

"And have you ever…" He paused for a moment and Blaine already knew what he was going to ask him about. "…like been together?"

He opened his mouth before quickly closing it again. How was Blaine supposed to answer that question? They had never been officially together but they had kissed. Twice. And they had almost become an item at some point. Quickly Blaine realized that he had been silent for too long so he answered without thinking. "No." It was as close to the truth as Blaine could get without telling Jared about his feelings for his boyfriend.

Jared's mysterious smirk turned into a more welcoming smile. "Good." He said, clearly relieved upon hearing that Blaine was not a danger for him. "Because I've heard from Kurt that he used to date his other friend."

"Yeah, he did." Blaine said thinking about Sebastian. It was a surprise but when he thought about him with Kurt he didn't feel anger and jealously anymore. All he felt was sorrow upon remembering about their current situation. Blaine felt bad because they hadn't talked to each other for such a long time and he missed Sebastian like crazy. But for some reason he still felt like he wouldn't be able to make that phone call first even though he should. "But it didn't work out." Blaine added sensing that the other man needed to hear that.

"Oh, alright." Jared said calmly. "Guess they learned back then they you should never get together with your friends." His words were clearly directed at Blaine, he was making sure that he would never even start thinking about getting together with Kurt. "What about you? Do you have a boyfriend?"

"Still looking for one." Blaine smiled trying to show Jared that he was really not a threat.

In that moment the door to Blaine's old bedroom which now belonged to Amanda opened and the girl walked out quickly followed by Kurt. She was wearing a red summer dress even though it wasn't that warm yet. Her usually straight hair was now cascading down her shoulders in beautiful waves. She had delicate make-up on her face making her look like a movie star.

"Well, how do you like my creation?" Kurt asked looking proudly at the girl. She was grinning like a fool and did a spin to show her dress in all its glory.

"You look gorgeous, Amanda." Blaine said honestly looking at her in amazement. He knew that if he wasn't gay she would definitely be his type.

"You're so sweet, Blaine. Thank you." She said smoothing her hands over the fabric of her dress.

"Yeah, you look absolutely beautiful." Jared said with a soft smile.

"Okay, now it's time for me to get ready." Kurt said enthusiastically. "And you, Blaine."

"Me?" Blaine questioned, confused.

"Yes, you." Kurt said seriously. "You can't come to my graduation looking like that. As much as I love your style for this occasion you have to wear something more elegant."

"I don't know if I have suitable clothes." Blaine admitted, a little ashamed of himself for not thinking about this while packing.

"We'll figure something out. Don't worry." Kurt said with a smile. "Come with me."

Blaine walked with Kurt into his bedroom where was also his suitcase. Kurt closed the door behind them and immediately started going thorough Blaine's clothes without even asking for a permission. He was fine with it though knowing that Kurt was only trying to help.

Kurt laid out on the bed two pairs of pants. "They might work." He concluded looking at them. "But I will have to lend you a dress shirt." With nothing else to do Blaine sat down on the bed and watched as Kurt started going through his own closet in search of a perfect shirt for Blaine. "Do you have any bow-ties with you? Because that would make you look incredibly stylish." Kurt asked as he took out a very light pink shirt and placed it on the bed.

"Unfortunately not." Blaine said regretfully.

"No worries." Kurt said quickly. He opened up the top drawer in his dresser and took out a light green bow-tie. "A colorful accent won't hurt anybody. Even if doesn't match the outfit perfectly it matches your personality."

"Isn't it mine bow-tie though?" Blaine asked eyeing the object suspiciously.

Kurt smirked. "I might have stolen one or two from you at some point when you weren't looking."

"What?" Blaine asked laughing. "But why?"

"I don't know." Kurt said shrugging but Blaine could tell that he wasn't completely honestly. "I guess I just liked them a lot."

"But you don't wear bow-ties. Ever." Blaine pointed out.

"Oh, whatever." Kurt said dismissively. "Just be happy that I have them so that now your outfit will be complete. Now change."

Blaine did as he was told and then let Kurt tie the bow around his neck. "Does it remind you of anything?" Blaine asked smirking when Kurt's face was so close to his that he could feel his breath on his face.

"Of what?" Kurt questioned.

"Our prom night." Blaine said. "When we were getting ready together."

"Oh, yeah. I remember." Kurt smiled but then his face became serious as he moved away from Blaine. "That night was very meaningful to you, wasn't it?"

"Yes, it was." Blaine replied remembering all the events from that night. How much he had been hurting. How much he had wanted to spend that night with Kurt. How much his life had changed during just a few hours. And then it occurred to him how much these situations were alike. They were going once again to an event, all dressed up and once more Kurt was going with someone else while Blaine would probably be stuck with Amanda for the whole night, not that he minded that much. Blaine just hoped that nobody would get pregnant this time. "But I'm glad I have Robert now." Blaine added smiling slightly.

"Yeah." Kurt agreed, even though there was a trace of regret in his voice. "Okay, now give me a few minutes and I'll change."

* * *

"They are going to be real adults from on. Isn't it scary?" Amanda questioned from her seat beside Blaine. "I'm so happy that I still have a whole year ahead of me to prepare for that because honestly more often than not I feel like a child instead of a mature person." She paused for a moment, clearly hit by a wave of nostalgia. "Sometimes I wish I could be back to living as a teenager."

"Me too." Blaine admitted softly. "It seemed like everything was so much easier back then."

They were silent for a moment watcing as the parents, professors and some of the younger students filled the hall.

Everything went extremely quickly. Soon the ceremony started, various people started giving speeches, the atmosphere was final but mostly cheerful and enthusiastic. And then they started calling out the students in the alphabet order to give them their diplomas. Since Jared's last name started with the "B" letter he started walking through the hall pretty quickly. He looked confident but not devoid of emotions. Blaine could guess exactly what he was thinking about. He was wondering whether or not his relationship with Kurt was going to survive this..

Blaine had been wondering the same thing during their high school graduation. His life could have turned out better but at least he was still friends with Kurt.

And then a few minutes later Kurt, wearing a blue gown, started his metaphorical journey towards adulthood. He looked happy for the most part but tears were rolling down his cheeks even though he kept wiping them away. He was grinning though, clearly aware of the fact that despite the fact that it was the ending of some chapter in his life it was also the beginning of another one.

He was given the diploma, a few people shook his hand and he wandered over to the rest of the students while the audience clapped their hands vigorously. Blaine couldn't keep the grin off of his face. He was so proud of Kurt for achieving his dreams and doing in life what he was really passionate about. Maybe in the past Blaine had thought that Kurt was going to become a fashion designer instead of an architect but if this was what was going to provide a good life for him then Blaine couldn't be more happy for him.

Blaine looked over at Amanda and noticed that the girl had tears in her eyes. Even though it wasn't her graduation it was also an ending of some chapter in her life. She wasn't going to share the apartment with Kurt from now on. She was going to have to learn how to cope by herself or find someone new to replace Kurt.

After the ceremony Blaine and Amanda walked outside and chatted for a few minutes waiting for Kurt and Jared to join them. Blaine felt weird and a little awkward since every time he looked around there seemed to be a familiar face that he recognized from his short time spent at the university. Some of them didn't even look at him but others would stare with judgment or even pity. Luckily no one approached him to ask how he was doing even though everyone probably wanted to hear the story of his failure.

"I could be wearing that blue gown as well, you know?" Blaine said out loud not really knowing what for. He didn't want to see the pity in Amanda's eyes but he also needed to let out his bitterness in some way.

"I do." Amanda answered smiling at him sadly. She put her arm on his shoulder in a comforting gesture and in that moment Blaine realized that they were becoming friends even though they had known each other for less than a day. The girl just seemed to understand him without the need for him to say all the words out loud. She knew how much Blaine loved his best friend and how much it hurt him to see Kurt with someone else. Maybe it was because she was like him. She had loved and burned herself so badly that the pieces of her soul were still coming back together.

Blaine promised himself that he would try to keep in touch with her after his return home. "Are you ready for the graduation party?" Blaine heard a cheerful voice and turned around to find Jared and Kurt standing directly behind him.

"A graduation party?" Blaine questioned raising his eyebrows. He wasn't really in a mood for a party. All he wanted was to spend the rest of the day with Kurt alone but he knew that his best friend would prefer to spend it mostly with his boyfriend.

"Yes." Kurt quickly replied. "It's our last chance to spend some time together with the people from our classes." He paused for a moment looking at Blaine with a hopeful smile. "And I know I won't be able to enjoy the party if you don't come." Blaine knew what that really meant. It meant that while it was a good-bye part for the graduated students, it was also a good-bye party for Kurt and Blaine. They wouldn't see each other for months or maybe even more.

"Sure, I'll come." Blaine said confidently knowing how much he would regret not spending this evening with Kurt even if it meant looking at him being all flirty and cute with his boyfriend.

* * *

Blaine took a sip of his beer watching the crowd of dancing bodies in front of him. He didn't want to get drunk and forget half of the night so the bottle of beer was the only alcohol that he was going to drink that night. It also meant that he wasn't able to properly relax and enjoy the party. Kurt and Jared luckily were out of sight, dancing somewhere or maybe doing something else while Amanda was flirting in the corner with some guy. He was a little mad at her for leaving him all by himself but Blaine concluded that she had the right to have fun with her friends instead of babysitting him.

Blaine wanted to have some fun but since everybody had left him and he didn't know anybody well enough to want to talk to them he was stuck with himself. Blaine found himself wishing for the party to end but it didn't look like it was going to happen anytime soon so he just leaned his head against the armchair backrest and stared straight ahead, not able to stop the dark thoughts from flooding in.

It all seemed so final. What if their friendship wasn't going to survive? Blaine didn't even want to think about that but he couldn't help it. What if he was never going to get truly over Kurt? Blaine tried to tell himself that there was someone perfect out there looking for him but each time such though occurred to him he would get only more upset thinking that he would never get Kurt.

He felt like he was going to cry but he couldn't in front of all those people. Maybe they didn't care about Blaine but he still did care about not making a complete fool out of himself. "Why are you doing here all alone? Why aren't you having fun with everyone else?" Blaine looked to the side to find Kurt looking at him with confusion. Yes, the lack of Blaine on the dance floor could be pretty confusing since Blaine used to be a party animal in high school and the first and only semester of university spent in New York.

"Just chilling." Blaine replied smiling slightly to fool Kurt into thinking that he was fine. "I'm tired from all the dancing." Another lie.

"Well, that's a shame." Kurt said smirking. "Because I am trying to find a competent dance partner and yet I can't find one."

"What about Jared?" Blaine asked taking a sip from his bottle of beer.

Kurt rolled his eyes. "He's amazing and all but he really can't dance. It's a pure torture." He rested his hand on Blaine's arm leaning forward a little. "Actually, I was thinking about you. If I remember correctly from all the parties that we've gone to together you've got some decent moves."

"Really? You're going to abandon your boyfriend for me?" Blaine asked smiling. Suddenly the thought of dancing with Kurt made him feel so much better.

Kurt laughed. "Maybe I am."

"Alright then." Blaine said. "If you're _begging_ me-"

"Oh, I wouldn't say that-"

"I might actually let you have this one dance." Blaine said smiling. He raised to his feet, grabbed Kurt's hand and led him towards the crowd of people dancing and having fun with each other. The music was fast and catchy so their dance moves mostly consisted of jumping and moving their hands in really strange ways.

A few times Blaine noticed Jared lurking at them with a really weird expression written on his face but in that moment Blaine couldn't care less. If he was going to spend the rest of his life missing Kurt then he wanted to make this night count. No regrets.

This time Blaine decided not to go for a kiss but he allowed himself to brush against Kurt's body every once in a while knowing full well how angry Jared could possibly get. Kurt had drunk a bit and while he didn't seem to care about his boyfriend staring at them he was nowhere near drunk. Blaine was happy that his friend was also going to remember this night.

At some point, much to Blaine's dismay Amanda joined them and soon Jared followed her example and they were dancing all together. Blaine was a little mad but then he just ignored Jared and focused all of his attention on Kurt. It was amazing and magical. Blaine had everything he wanted and in that moment he found himself wishing that this night would never end. He would spend eternity here, in a crowded room, surrounded by sweaty bodies, but with Kurt right beside him. For a moment Blaine's life was almost perfect.

* * *

They were walking through the airport side by side in complete silence as neither of them seemed to know what to say. Blaine was happy that Kurt didn't decide to bright Jared along so that they could have this moment exclusively for themselves.

"Are we ever going to live in the same city for longer than a few months?" Kurt asked when it was time to start saying good-bye. He was smiling sadly and there were tears welling up in his blue eyes.

"I don't know but I surely hope so." Blaine replied even though he was seriously starting to doubt that it was ever going to happen. "Someday we'll make this all work."

"Of course we will." Kurt agreed and now the tears were rolling down his cheeks. "When we are both married we will buy houses side by side and we will visit each other every day."

Blaine nodded his head even though to him that image was a little depressing. "And we will eat dinners together and our children will be best friends."

"Just like we are." Kurt said.

"Just like we are." Blaine repeated. Then he sighed knowing that it was time to stop creating such images in their heads and get serious. "This is not the final good-bye, right? This is not the end of our friendship, is it?"

Suddenly Kurt rushed forward embracing Blaine. "Of course not. I could never let myself lose someone as amazing, caring and wonderful as you. I love you, Blaine. I love you so much."

"I love you too." Blaine said feeling amazing that he could finally say these words out loud even if Kurt didn't know how Blaine meant them. "We'll talk to each other through Skype all the time, right?"

"Of course." Kurt said without any hesitation still holding Blaine tightly in his arms. "I wish you could go to London with me."

And in one moment a crazy thought occurred to Blaine. He _could_ go to London with Kurt. His heart started beating faster. There was nothing keeping him in the States.

Expect for the college.

And his mother.

Blaine sighed heavily feeling the tears start running down his cheeks. Moving to London wouldn't be that easy at all. He had to stay in Ohio, graduate from college and then maybe he would let himself consider this option. "Me too." He said at last not wanting to get Kurt's hopes up.

"I will never get used to missing you."

"Me neither."


	16. Chapter 15

**January, 2019**

* * *

Blaine stood by the graveyard watching as the snow fell from the sky to the ground. A woman Blaine didn't know stopped next to the grave, stood there for a while with her hands deep in her pockets, then placed a white rose on the stone before slowly walking away. Then a few other people did the same. Every each of them made sure to walk over to Blaine, make sad face, tell him much they appreciated his mother, how much they would miss her and then walk away as quickly as they could. They didn't know Blaine and he didn't know them so it wasn't a big deal. Blaine didn't want to listen to their probably fake stories anyway.

Blaine held Robert's hand tightly desperately needing something or someone to keep him steady. In theory the little boy knew what was going on, that his grandmother was not with them anymore, but it seemed like his young brain couldn't really process everything. He kept asking for Pamela and each time Blaine had to tell him trying not to cry that she was not going to come back to them. Blaine was kind of happy that Robert didn't understand it though because for now he didn't have to deal with the little boy's heartbreak on top of his own. He knew that it was coming though.

"Can we go home, daddy?" Robert asked tugging on Blaine's hand. The man looked down at him smiling slightly, not wanting him to worry. His round hazel eyes were glued to Blaine's as the little boy kept looking at him pleadingly. Honestly Blaine just wanted to take him home and grieve his mother's death in his own way instead of taking part in this farce. Pamela hadn't had any close friends during the last few years so these people were mostly her former coworkers which meant that they hadn't really care about her when she was alive, much less now.

"No, buddy. We still need to talk to some people." Blaine said sadly. He wanted to cry at this but there was no tears left in his eyes. He had let everything out in the last few days. Now Blaine was numb to all the emotions, they were buried deep inside of his soul and he preferred to ignore all of them instead of facing them.

A few other people walked up to him, told him how sorry they were for Blaine loss and walked away looking relieved and happy that they could now go back to their perfect lives. And then another man walked over to the grave and stood there for much longer than the others before him. He didn't have any flowers with him but he just kept standing there while Blaine found himself curious as to who he was. Blaine waited for him to come up to him but the other man didn't do that. He just kept standing there with his head down, clearly deep in his thoughts.

Still gripping tightly Robert's hand Blaine started slowly walking towards the grave. He could tell that his son was tired and probably hungry but the little boy obviously knew that he shouldn't complain during such a serious situation as he kept quiet. Blaine kept walking towards the stranger growing more and more interested with each passing moment.

When they were standing side by side Blaine looked at his mother's grave for a moment in silence before looking to the side to find the man staring at him with tears rolling down his cheeks. Blaine's mouth hung open as he didn't know what to say. The man was in his thirties, at least a few years older than Blaine. He had a pair of blue eyes and dark brown hair.

"Umm…hello." Blaine greeted him not really knowing what else to say. It seemed like Blaine's mother was important to him in some way and Blaine longed to find out in which exactly. "I don't want to be rude but would you be kind enough to tell me who you are?"

The man smiled through his tears as his gaze travelled down to the little boy standing by Blaine's side. He opened his mouth, clearly shocked. "Oh my God. Is this your son?" He said.

"Ugh." Blaine didn't replay not really knowing how to react to a stranger acting as if they knew each other. "So my name is Blaine Anderson and yours is…?"

"Cooper." The man said. "Cooper Anderson."

* * *

 _Blaine kept gripping his mother's hand tightly, afraid that if he loosened his grip she would let go and leave him. Even though he wanted to show Pamela how strong he was he couldn't stop the tears from falling down his cheeks. The person who was laying in the bed was not the person that Blaine knew his mother to be. She was a shell of a human. She was slowly slipping away and Blaine was painfully aware of the fact that he couldn't do anything about it. She would sleep for the majority of the day and sometimes when she was awake she didn't even recognize him._

 _Blaine knew from the doctors that it was because of the pressure put on her brain by the tumor. They had been both shocked and heartbroken when they found out a year ago that the cancer was back. Blaine had seen in his mother's eyes that she didn't have enough strength to fight the battle all over again but he kept encouraging her to do just that anyway._

 _Now according to the doctors there was no hope for Blaine's mother. The chemotherapy wasn't working and there was no way to cut the tumor out without damaging the brain. Blaine had been ignoring the college for the past couple of days because they all were suspecting that it was just a matter of days until his mother was gone._

 _He watched her suck in the air and then slowly let it out. Pamela's eyes were shut close and she was sleeping. Blaine kept glancing at the monitors beside her bed fearing that her heart could stop beating at any second. Blaine really hoped that she would wake up and be completely conscious at least for a while so that he could properly say good-bye._

 _Sometimes Blaine dreamed about the times when everything was alright. When his mother was full of energy and life. Now the mere thought of Blaine never seeing her like that again was breaking his heart. He wanted to somehow reverse time and prevent this all from happening. Maybe if Pamela had gone to a doctor's appointment a few weeks earlier everything would be different now._

 _These days Blaine often wondered what he had done to deserve a life like this. Was he really such a bad person to deserve his mother dying of cancer? Was he despicable enough to bring such misfortune on one of the only people who still had some faith in him?_

" _Blaine?" He was pulled out of his dark thoughts when Blaine heard his mother's faint voice. He quickly squeezed her hand leaning forward so that she could see that it was him._

" _Yes, I'm here." Blaine said soothingly trying to stop himself from sobbing loudly. She didn't need to hear that right now. "Do you need something to drink?" Blaine had stopped asking about the food a long time ago. It would only make her sick wreaking her already faint body._

" _Blaine." She repeated his name and this time her voice was a little stronger. "I need to tell you something." Blaine smiled a little, happy that at least for the time being Pamela was there with him completely._

" _I'm listening." Blaine assured her._

" _I've watched you become such a wonderful person and I believe that you deserve to get what you want." Blaine nodded his head, not really understanding where she was going with it but being happy that she was talking about anything at all. "If you love Kurt." A cold shiver ran down Blaine's spine upon hearing that name. "Go and get him. Don't just sit waiting around for something that might never happen. Take matters in your own hands and go after him if you really love him so much."_

 _Blaine didn't ask how she knew about his feelings for Kurt. This was not important now. "This is not that easy, mom." Blaine said sadly._

" _I don't want to die thinking that my son will never be happy."_

" _Mom-"_

" _Promise me that you won't keep missing chances to make your dreams come true just because you think you might not make it. You have to stop thinking that way."_

 _Blaine sighed feeling the hot tears run down his cheeks. "I-"_

" _Promise me." Pamela said with much more strength that Blaine thought she was capable of._

" _Okay, I promise." Blaine said softly gripping her hand tightly and looking into her eyes. "I will make my dreams come true. I'll be happy."_

" _Thank you." She said and soon after that the woman drifted off to sleep leaving Blaine alone with his thoughts once again. Kurt hadn't been the main things on his mind recently. He still missed him like crazy but now all of his attention was focused on his mom. Kurt was away and he couldn't comfort him so Blaine didn't keep wasting time thinking about him._

* * *

There wasn't much that Blaine knew about his older brother. All he knew was that their father had left Pamela and Blaine when he was way too young to remember any of it and Cooper wasn't old enough to do anything to stay with Blaine and their mother.

Blaine stared at the man in front of him in shock. He couldn't find any resemblance between himself and Cooper but when he looked a little closer he could see the same eyes that their mother had. "You are…my brother?" Blaine questioned not really knowing what he wanted to hear from him.

"Yes, I am." Cooper said with a sad smile. "It feels so good to finally meet you. It's a shame though that during such unfortunate circumstances."

"Yeah…" Blaine said suspiciously building up walls around himself in case Cooper's intentions weren't pure. He found himself unable to identify his own feelings regarding the man standing in front of him. It was weird to finally meet his brother after all of those years apart from each other and Blaine wasn't really sure if he was happy to see him or not. "Listen, my mother didn't have any cash if that's what it is about so don't count on any huge heritage."

"No, I'm not here for the money." Cooper quickly rushed to say.

"Then what are you here for?" Blaine asked. "And how did you find out?"

"For some reason our dad's phone number was still on the list of emergency contacts." Cooper said, his voice full of sadness and regret. "He didn't want to come to the funeral but I did. I wanted to meet my little brother and maybe find out what my mother was like."

"You could have come sooner." Blaine said bitterly holding Robert's hand tightly, needing him desperately to ground him. "While she was still alive."

"I know." Cooper said ducking his head. "But I really want to make up now. I want to get to know you." His eyes landed on Robert and he smiled slightly. "And this little guy if that's possible." He said. "I assume this is your son…or maybe our little brother?"

"He's my son." Blaine clarified quickly.

Upon hearing that the man crouched down so that he could look Robert's straight in the eyes. "Hello, there." He greeted the boy. Blaine watched him not really knowing what to make of this situation. "What is your name?"

"Robert." The little boy said quietly, clearly a little afraid of the stranger.

"Wow. I've always liked that name." Blaine almost laughed at that. Almost. "And how old are you?"

"Five." The boy said showing Cooper five fingers in his hand.

"Almost." Blaine clarified. "He'll turn five next month. On the Valentine's Day." Blaine wasn't really sure what made him add that last information.

"Wow! That's so awesome!" Cooper said enthusiastically and to Blaine it felt a little out of place to be so cheerful while they were standing in front of their mother's grave. Cooper seemed to understand that as well as he stood up, his face serious once again, and looked straight into his brother's eyes. "Can we talk somewhere else?"

Blaine really wanted to decline and forget about all of this but then he thought that a moment of truth between them could be what they both needed right now. Their mother would probably be happy about it and it seemed like Cooper really wanted to make amends with his brother and get to know him. "Okay." Blaine said at last. "But can we do this tomorrow? I'm not really in the mood right now."

"Sure." Cooper quickly said smiling slightly. He took out a small folded piece of paper and handed it to Blaine. "This is my phone number. Call me, okay?"

"I will." Blaine assured him.

They stood awkwardly for a moment in complete silence until Cooper spoke up again. "That guy behind you seems to be waiting for you." Blaine followed his line of sight and slowly turned out hoping against hope that it was Kurt. But when he noticed who was standing there he felt almost as happy as he would if it was his best friend.

He looked more mature than Blaine remembered. He looked like an adult, like he was just a tiny bit broken by the weight of life. But when Blaine locked his hazel eyes with his green ones he smiled a little in a silent invitation. Without thinking and almost dragging Robert behind him Blaine almost ran towards the man. No words had to be spoken. Sebastian opened up his arms and Blaine snuggled into them without any hesitation. "Daddy, who is it?" Blaine felt bad for not explaining anything to Robert. They boy had to extremely confused in that moment.

Blaine didn't replay at first just holding onto Sebastian and never wanting to let go. But then he pulled away knowing that he had to explain everything to Robert so that they boy had an idea of what was currently going on. "This is my friend, Sebastian." Blaine explained. "I haven't seen him in a while."

It was sad that Blaine had to explain it all to Robert but he hadn't seen Sebastian in such a long time that there was no chance that the little boy could remember him. Sebastian was smiling and his smile was both sad and happy for some reason. "Hello, Rob." Sebastian greeted the little boy holding out his hand. Robert eyed his hand for a few seconds and then hesitantly took it.

"How did you find out?" Blaine asked.

"My mom told me." Sebastian said sadly. "I am so sorry, Blaine."

The shorter man ducked his head. "Me too." Then he looked back up and despite everything smiled slightly upon seeing his best friend. "What are you doing here?"

"I couldn't leave you here all alone." Sebastian said grabbing Blaine's free hand and gripping it tightly. "No matter what happened between us that day it doesn't matter now. It has been years and I want to move on."

"That's a good idea." Blaine said. "Do you want to go home so that we can talk properly?" He asked wanting to get out of that place as fast as possible.

"Yeah, sure." Sebastian said with a small smile. He looked at something behind Blaine and the shorter man immediately knew what he was staring at. "But weren't you talking to someone?"

"I was." Blaine admitted. "But the conversation's over. Let's go home. Robert's probably getting hungry. Are you, buddy?" Blaine asked looking down at his son. The boy rapidly nodded his head making Blaine smile just a little bit.

"Okay." Sebastian said softly and even though Blaine didn't feel good and wasn't in the mood for any jokes or anything like that he missed Sebastian's sarcastic remarks and cynic smirks. That would mean that maybe not everything had changed so much after all.

Blaine looked one last time over his shoulder and noticed that Cooper was still standing in exactly the same spot and watching him. He knew deep down that he should talk to his big brother and make things right between them but today was not a good day for that.

They started making their way through the graveyard side by side with Robert still holding tightly onto Blaine's hand. At some point Sebastian wrapped his arm around Blaine's waist which made him feel just a little bit less like he was dying. He looked over at his friend silently thanking him for this little gesture.

* * *

Blaine unbuttoned Robert's coat seeing him wriggle impatiently. "Can I go play?" He quickly asked, as soon as he was out of his coat turning his pleading eyes up to meet Blaine's gaze.

"Sure." Blaine said standing up from his crouching position. "I will call you when the dinner's ready."

Without saying anything Robert quickly ran out of the hallway and up the stairs towards his bedroom. Blaine followed him with his eyes, a little sad that his son didn't understand that they had just lost a very important person. Or maybe he actually did understand in some way and not acknowledging that his grandmother was gone was his way of coping.

The more probable scenario though was the due to Robert not being around Pamela so much in the recent months he simply was not that affected by his grandmother's absence anymore. It was sad but Blaine had to admit to himself that it was mostly his fault. He didn't really want his son to see Pamela so weak and close to death. This way he didn't have to explain to Robert why she looked different and why she didn't recognize her own relatives.

"Are you okay?" Blaine heard Sebastian's voice and found the other man staring at him with worry.

Blaine rubbed his neck awkwardly trying to smile a little and make this situation a little bit less difficult for them as it was. "That's not a good question to ask right now."

"Yeah, I guess you're right." Sebastian said softly leaning against the wall. "Relax for a while and I'll make the dinner. Then we'll talk."

"You really don't have to do this." Blaine rushed to say.

"Oh, stop trying to fool everyone around you." Sebastian said rolling his eyes. "It's not working on me. You may be pretending to be strong but I know that deep down you're falling apart. You can fool whoever you want but not me."

Blaine sighed shrugging his shoulders. "What else am I supposed to do?" He asked not expecting to get an answer. "Go to bed and cry all day and night? Because honestly that's all I feel like doing." He was tired, mad and sad at the whole world but Blaine didn't really know how to express all the emotions he was feeling. Blaine rubbed his face suddenly wishing that he was in a completely different place, preferably alone. "I can't just break down and stop functioning because I'm not alone. I have a son and he needs me."

"I get it." Sebastian said. "I really do but now you've got me so you don't have to carry all the weight yourself anymore."

"For how long?" Blaine questioned throwing his hands up in the air in frustration. "A week? And then I'm alone again."

"No." Sebastian quickly said shaking his head. "I'm going to stay for as long as you need me to." His face also looked tired but there was silent determination in his green eyes. "We've wasted too much time already on a stupid fight."

Blaine nodded his head slowly knowing that Sebastian was right. "I could really use a hot shower."

Sebastian's eyes softened and he rested his hand on Blaine's shoulder. "See? Let me take care of you at least for a while. We'll eat dinner together and then we can talk about everything, okay?"

"Sounds good to me." Blaine said locking his hazel eyes with Sebastian's green ones. He smiled gratefully and slowly started walking through the hallway towards the staircase. His mind was so full of thoughts and yet he couldn't focus on neither of them. It felt like a tornado had gone through his head and messed everything up leaving him alone to put every single piece back together.

Once Blaine was in the bathroom he undressed and got into the cabin quickly turning the water on. The hot stream washed over his body but unfortunately it didn't take away any of his emotions. There, when no one could see him and Blaine was left alone his mask cracked and he started crying silently not wanting anyone to hear him.

Blaine's whole body shook as he just stood there and let the water hit his back. He wished he could be in a different place but he didn't know where that place was, maybe it didn't even exist. Blaine had to keep pretending in front of his son that everything was alright but he couldn't carry on like that for much longer. He needed someone to carry this weight with him at least for a while. And now he had Sebastian.

It was a big relief. As much as Blaine wanted to believe that he was able to do everything on his own this time he had to admit defeat and let an old friend help him get through all of this. Blaine was aware of the fact that because of their fallout the atmosphere between them was a little tense but he was sure that they wouldn't dwell on it right then. He hoped that a simple conversation would allow them to at least start working things out.

Maybe talking about something else than his mother's death would actually help Blaine in a way. Or at least that was what he kept telling himself. When the water was completely cold and Blaine's body started shivering he finally stepped out of the shower, drayed himself off with a towel and put on some comfortable clothes. Then Blaine walked back down the stairs to find Sebastian and Robert together in the kitchen. The young man was stirring some kind of soup on the stove while the little boy kept babbling about his favorite games, toys and cartoons.

Blaine was a little surprised that his son so quickly stopped being shy around Sebastian but it made him happy and he really should have seen this coming. When Sebastian wanted he could make everyone charmed by his charismatic persona. Blaine leaned his head against the door frame and just watched the two of them, too tired from all the emotions to do anything else.

When the green-eyed man noticed him his wide smile faded slightly but he kept the façade, clearly for Robert. He left Blaine just be for a few moments, without saying anything to him and focusing on cooking. At some point Robert stopped speaking and his mind got occupied by a coloring book instead. Only then when the kitchen was silent Sebastian turned his face towards Blaine and sent him a sad tired smile. "Hey there." He greeted him. "I asked Robert and he said that he loved tomato soup and luckily you happen to have all the ingredients."

Blaine nodded his head. "Yeah…I still remember to go shopping." He said trying to play it off as a joke but it seemed to only make Sebastian even more worried. The taller man left a spoon he was holding on the cupboard and wordlessly approached Blaine and wrapped him in a hug once again.

Blaine felt like he could spend eternity in that place, surrounded by Sebastian's arms. At least for a moment it seemed like he could breath freely and he didn't want to move anywhere. "The soup's almost ready." Sebastian whispered into his ear. "And I know for a fact you're going to love this as much as your son."

"What makes you think that?" Blaine asked.

"Well, living on my own forces me into cooking for myself and I guess I've learned a few things about it so I hope you'll appreciate my skills." Sebastian replied as they pulled away. "Come on. Sit down."

Blaine didn't say anything about Sebastian ordering him to do things in his own house because Blaine preferred to just enjoy the illusion of normality while it lasted. He sat down beside Robert and for a few minutes the kitchen was filled only with the sounds of Sebastian making the soup. Blaine kept watching both him and his son marveling at how good it felt to have them both at his side.

Blaine knew for a fact that despite how he felt in that moment, how almost good everything was he would still find himself crying himself to sleep in a few hours. But maybe it was the beginning of his long journey to healing and Sebastian would actually help him achieve that.

* * *

Blaine pressed his lips softly to Robert's forehead and carefully walked out of his bedroom closing the door behind him so that they wouldn't accidentally wake him up with their conversation. When Blaine walked back into the living room Sebastian was sitting on the sofa with his eyes glued to the TV screen. As soon as he noticed Blaine though he switched off the TV and sent him a careful smile.

Without words Blaine took a seat next to Sebastian taking a deep breath. For a minute they just sat in complete silence without even looking at each other. Finally Blaine looked up at his supposed best friend to find him playing with his hands nervously. "I want you to know how sorry I am for what I did all these years ago." Sebastian said lifting his gaze and locking it with Blaine's. "I shouldn't have been so forceful." He said softly looking more serious than ever. "I can't believe that I let one stupid action almost ruin our friendship." He reached his hand out and grabbed Blaine's. "You have no idea how sad and miserable I've been all these years with no contact with you."

"It's also my fault." Blaine admitted. "I could have called you. We would have made up and everything would have been alright."

Sebastian quickly shook his head. "No, I remember how I told you that I'd learned not to fall in love with my best friends. I should have stuck to the rule."

Blaine shrugged looking away from Sebastian for a moment. "Sometimes we can't control who we fall in love with."

"I know." Sebastian said. "But if I had known what you were going through I would have caught the soonest plane to be here for you. I feel so shitty about getting wasted with strangers in some weird night clubs while you were here, going thought something no one should go thought."

"It's okay." Blaine said honestly. He didn't blame Sebastian more than he blamed himself for their fallout so he had no reason to stay mad at him. "We're here together at last. There is nothing else that matters."

"Thanks." Sebastian said with a smile moving a little closer to Blaine. He let go of his hand and wrapped his arm around Blaine's shoulders which made him feel just a little better. "But I will have to eventually return to Canada. I wish I could stay here for good but it's not that easy. My dad would have killed me."

"Actually." Blaine began as an idea came into his mind. He turned his head to the side to look straight into Sebastian's green orbs. The other man looked sad but also a little hopeful as his eyes kept moving rapidly as if they were searching for something specific in Blaine's. "Maybe…I could go to Vancouver with you?"

Sebastian was silent for a moment as if he couldn't believe that Blaine really said that. "Really? Are you serious?" He asked sitting up straight.

Blaine smiled a little shrugging. "There is nothing keeping me here. I'm going to graduate in May so I could move after that. If you still want me there of course." Blaine said shyly. He was almost positive that Sebastian still wanted him there but maybe actually things had changed and now Sebastian didn't have place in his life for Blaine anymore.

"Blaine." Sebastian said his name in a way that made Blaine appreciate him just a little bit more. "I've been dying during these four years. I've been hoping that against all odds you would knock on my door and appear out of nowhere." He paused for a moment and Blaine almost didn't recognize the person next to him. Sebastian had tears in his eyes and he kept running his hands though his hair. For once he didn't look confident and in control. "I've been imaging you saying these words but all this time I've thought that it would never actually happen." He opened his mouth and closed a few times, clearly searching for the right words. "How could I not want you there, Blaine? How could I give up someone like you one more time?"

Despite how much Blaine was hurting a huge grin appeared on his face and he almost laughed out loud. He surged forward and wrapped his arms around Sebastian's shoulders holding him close to his body. This time this hug was a promise of never letting go again, of remaining best friends for the rest of their lives and cherishing every moment spent together.

* * *

When Sebastian disappeared into the guest room Blaine stayed up for a few moments longer to think everything thought. That day had been a mixture of many emotions and feelings. First the heartbreaking sensation of letting go of his mother, then meeting his brother for the first time and then also reuniting with Sebastian.

Blaine concluded that this day could have gone much worse. He still had to do his best to not think constantly about Pamela but at least now Blaine had different things to focus on like his upcoming move to Vancouver. A sad smile appeared on Blaine's face when he looked around the living room. He would have to sell this house and leave it behind together with all the happy memories. But maybe that was actually for the better.

Blaine took his cell phone out of his pocket and checked the time. It was nearing midnight which meant that in London it was around five AM. Blaine saddened when he realized that it was much too late to call Kurt and tell him about all the events of the day. It was getting better. He didn't cry at night because of Kurt every night but that was probably because he had other things to cry about now.

Kurt had broken up with Jared a few months ago. That information should have made Blaine happy but instead he had felt just more miserable. It seemed like maybe it could be finally a second chance for them but the distance was keeping them apart so Blaine couldn't do anything. They still talked thought the phone or Skype a few times a week and while Blaine was still desperately in love with his best friend somehow he learned to put these feelings aside and focus on other things in his life. He started to believe that maybe finally he would move on from Kurt for good and find someone who would love him back.

Blaine smiled to himself hoping that Vancouver would provide a lot of good change for him and his son.

* * *

Blaine stirred the coffee placed on the table in front of him keeping all of his attention focused on the task. Sebastian had agreed to take care of Robert for a few hours for Blaine so the dark-haired man could concentrate on getting to know his older brother. He had been forced to briefly explain who he was meeting and Sebastian had been bugging him trying to convince Blaine to let him go with him but he knew that it was something he had to do on his own.

Although now Blaine felt like he could use someone holding his hand and going through it with him. He sighed looking though the window at the streets covered in snow. He took a sip of his coffee enjoying the warmth filling his whole body and checked his watch. Cooper was five minutes late. Maybe he wouldn't come at all? That would save Blaine from having to open himself up in front of someone that despite being related to him was still a stranger.

Unfortunately the door opened causing a small bell to ring and when Blaine looked up he saw a familiar set of blue eyes staring right at him. Cooper entered the café and quickly approached the table, not even bothering to order anything to drink. "Hi. Sorry for being late." The older man said breathlessly. "I hope I didn't keep you waiting for long?"

"It's fine." Blaine replied watching Cooper as he slipped out of his coat and hung it over the chair. Then he sat down opposite Blaine and smiled at his little brother. Blaine couldn't force himself to do the same so he just stared right back at him trying not to look like he wanted to leave. "Don't you want to order anything?" Blaine asked.

Cooper's gaze landed on Blaine's cup of coffee. "Oh, no. I'm fine." He said still smiling.

Blaine nodded his head slowly resting his elbows on the table. "What do you want to talk about then?"

"Everything." Cooper said instantly. "I want to know everything about you and our mother that there is to know."

"Oh, well, that's a little much for one conversation." Blaine said, not sure what Cooper wanted to know exactly about him.

"Yes, I know." Cooper quickly rushed to say. "And this is why I think we should keep in contact. I don't want to lose you again."

Blaine blinked his eyes wondering if he should tell his brother that he didn't really have him back yet. He decided not to though knowing how much it could hurt him. "Umm, okay. I guess that's alright."

"Great." Cooper said with a huge grin plastered to his face as if he was unaware of how shitty Blaine's mood was. "Now tell me something about yourself and I will tell you something about me in return."

"What do you want to know?" Blaine asked.

"Okay, maybe that's a bit straightforward and I shouldn't be asking this so soon but I'm just dying to know how come you have a son while you're still so young." Cooper's eyes were round and curious and for some twisted reason it seemed endearing to Blaine. He wanted to stay mad at his older brother for never bothering to find him before but he was just too weak and tired to add another negative emotion to the pile that was already weighting down on him. And he had to admit to himself that back then Cooper had been way too young to do anything about his situation."Do you have a girlfriend or anything?" Cooper asked when Blaine was silent for too long.

"Ugh, no. No girlfriend." Blaine said looking down on his drink. Now he would find out whether or not Cooper was homophobic and he was starting to get a little nervous. "I actually have different preferences-"

"So you're gay?" Cooper asked and Blaine almost laughed at how blunt he was.

"Umm, yes, I am." Blaine said and when Cooper looked completely unaffected by that information Blaine continued. "I was a bit lonely during my prom night and I ended by in bed with one of my best friends. I'm not very proud of it but I have Rob now and even though my life doesn't look the way I pictured it a few years ago it's still quite good. That little guy keeps me going."

"So how did you picture your life in high school?" Cooper asked instantly.

Blaine smiled for the first time during that conversation. "You said you would tell me something about yourself in return so now is your turn. What do you do for a living?" Blaine asked starting to get a little curious about his brother.

Cooper's grin grew even wider. "I'm an actor." He said proudly and Blaine's eyes widened slightly. "Impressive, huh?"

"Well, yeah." Blaine said more than a little impressed.

"Don't get too excited though." Cooper said and his smile faded a little. "You probably won't see me on the big screen anytime soon. I mostly play in commercials."

"It's still a big deal I guess." Blaine said.

"Well, maybe you're right." Cooper said and his smile was back in its original place. "So now answer my question. Who did you want to become a few years ago?"

"I don't know who I wanted to become." Blaine said honestly. "But I wanted to make music and go to university in New York with my best friend. Now I'm here and he's in London. My mother's dead and everything sucks so much that I decided to leave this country."

Cooper's eyes widened comically. "Whoa. Wait a minute. You want to leave the States? Really?"

"Yes." Blaine admitted, proud of himself for making that decision. "You remember that guy yesterday? He invited me to come to live with him in Vancouver a few years ago and I finally accepted his offer."

"Oh" Was all that came out of Cooper's mouth and for a moment he just stayed silent. Then he finally asked: "Is he your boyfriend?"

"No." Blaine explained. "But we're close."

Cooper nodded his head slowly. "Right. Do you have a boyfriend then?"

"No." Blaine repeated. "The last few years have been busy and I couldn't find time for anyone new in my life." That was not exactly true. It was only part of the reason why he didn't have a boyfriend but he didn't want to expose himself in front of his brother like that just yet.

"I get it." Cooper said. "You didn't have it easy, did you?"

"Unfortunately." Blaine answered. "But it only can get better from now on, right?"

"Of course. You deserve it." Cooper said making Blaine wonder how he could assume that if he didn't know Blaine at all.

They talked for over an hour trying to make up for the lost time but it seemed like they both knew that they needed much more time than that to fix everything. At some point Blaine even considered asking about his father but then he realized that it probably wasn't the brightest of ideas since he didn't want to have anything to do with the man who had left him and his mother.

They promised each other to keep in touch and maybe arrange some meetings in the future before going their separate ways. When Blaine watched Cooper walk down the sidewalk he felt a little more positive and a little less hopeless. It seemed like in the future his life could still have bright colors.


	17. Chapter 16

**June, 2019**

* * *

Blaine soon realized that Vancouver didn't seem that much different from New York. Walking down the busy streets with Robert holding firmly his hand Blaine found himself wondering why he had always been so in love with the Big Apple if it looked like every other city. Well, Blaine knew the answer but he preferred to believe that there was something more than his love for Kurt that had been drawing him to New York for all these years.

They had been there for a week and things were looking good. Sebastian's apartment was big enough for the three of them and Blaine already had a job interview in a few days. Robert would start school soon and while Blaine felt a bit old because of that he was happy that his son would meet other kids his age. Everything looked pretty much perfect. Blaine still missed his mother like crazy and occasionally he would think about Kurt in a way that was really bad for his mental health but other than that he was starting to believe that for the first time in his life he could be really happy.

"Are you happy that you're going to start school soon?" Blaine asked his son looking down at him.

"No." The boy said immediately with a pout.

Blaine laughed shortly. "Why not?"

"Because I want to be with you." Robert said ducking his head sadly.

Blaine's smile faded when he noticed that his son was genuinely upset. "Aren't you happy that you're going to meet other children?" He asked knowing full well how difficult getting social could be for Robert. It wasn't that he was a quiet or shy kid. He just hadn't been around children his age much and unfortunately it was showing.

"What if they don't like me?" Robert asked almost breaking Blaine's heart.

Blaine stopped walking and crouched down to get on his son's level and look straight into his hazel eyes. Looking at his son's face Blaine noticed just how much the little boy had grown over the years. His face wasn't perfectly round anymore. Now it was oval. His eyes were still huge and curious but despite his young age Blaine knew that he was slowly maturing. Soon he wouldn't be so desperate to spend as much time as he could with his father.

Blaine smiled softly at his son trying to comfort him at least a little. "They're going to love you." Blaine said confidently. "No one else is going to have such cool hair." He said ruffling the boy's curls. While Blaine's own were really hard to get control over Robert's seemed pretty easy to tame and it looked extremely cute on him.

"Maybe." Robert said but he still didn't sound convinced.

Blaine sighed not really knowing how to make his son feel better about going to school. Then an idea occurred to him even though it wouldn't help with anything in the long run. "How about we go home and see what uncle Sebastian is doing? Then maybe we could get some ice cream together?"

A huge grin instantly appeared on the little boy's face. "Yes!" He exclaimed happily almost jumping up in the air. Blaine laughed seeing the quick mood swing. Blaine knew that this small pleasure wouldn't really solve anything but he hoped that once his son was in school he would quickly find some friends and get used to it.

They returned to walking through the city and admiring how new and refreshing everything seemed until they reached Sebastian's apartment. Blaine still couldn't get used to the thought that now it was also _his_ home. It felt weird because before he hadn't even seen the place and now he supposed to live there. They had agreed that it was only a temporary solution until Blaine started making money and saved enough for his own apartment but Sebastian kept saying that he could stay there for as long as he could anyway.

When Blaine unlocked the door and they both entered the flat he still had a hard time believing that he really lived there. The apartment was fancy but it really shouldn't be a surprise considering the fact that Sebastian's family had always had quite a lot of money. Now when Sebastian was close to taking over his father's business which was a big law company he had a comfortable life without having to worry about saving money for anything.

Robert immediately ran into Sebastian's office, where he could be found more often than not, probably to try to drag him out of the flat so that they could go for the ice-cream together. Blaine had been a bit shocked to find out just how hard Sebastian worked for everything. He used to share his life between the law school and the company and while now he didn't have to go to school anymore it still seemed like he sacrificed almost all of his time for work.

Blaine took off his shoes and bare-foot followed Robert in the office. The apartment was quite specious which meant that they all could have their separate rooms. Blaine's son was still a little shaken by all the sudden changes in his life so there were nights when he could be found cuddled into Blaine's side in his bedroom because he was too scared to sleep all alone for the first time in his life.

Blaine had to admit to himself that he also felt a bit strange without hearing Robert's steady breathing while he was falling asleep. Now instead of it Blaine's ears were once again bombarded with the sounds of wild city life. When he closed his eyes he could easily picture himself back in Kurt's apartment in New York. It was a really weird experience.

When he peeked inside Blaine saw his little boy staring at Sebastian with his puppy like eyes talking mile a minute and looking so excited that Blaine's heart almost melted. When his eyes landed on the young man sitting on the office chair in front of a computer screen Blaine expected him to be at least slightly annoyed but to his surprise there was not even a trace of frustration. Instead there was an indulgent smile gracing his features and some kind of spark dancing in his green eyes.

"Can we go? Please, please, please!" The little boy was bouncing with anticipation which made both Sebastian and Blaine chuckle. The taller man span in his chair so that he could fully face Blaine. His gaze landed on his friends but when he spoke up his words were directed at Robert.

"Well, what does your daddy think of that?" He asked.

Blaine crossed his arms over his chest leaning against the door frame. "He thinks that it would do you some good if you got out of the apartment at least for a moment, away from all the work." Blaine replied for his son.

Sebastian laughed again and for a moment it looked like he was really considering whether or not he should go with them. "Why not?" He said at last much to the little's boy joy.

* * *

Blaine and Sebastian watched in silence as Robert ate his chocolate ice-cream with so much joy that it was a little scary. Blaine looked over at Sebastian who was slowly eating his own dessert and just took a moment to take all the scenery in. They were in a small ice-cream shop and there was not a lot of people around them which meant that it was pretty quiet. "You seem to work a lot." Blaine pointed out wanting to address it right away and check if Sebastian wasn't overworking himself.

The other man shrugged. "There isn't really much else to do for me."

Blaine raised his eyebrow in surprise. "We're not in Ohio anymore." He said. "It's Vancouver for crying out loud. I'm pretty sure there are many things that you could do."

Sebastian smirked. "Well, now that you're here we can do all of these things you're talking about. Finally I might have some company."

"Are you trying to tell me that you don't have any friends? I doubt it."

"No." Sebastian quickly said. "I _do_ have friends."

"Can I meet them then?" Blaine asked taking a spoon of his vanilla ice-cream.

"No." Sebastian said instantly smiling mysteriously. "Trust me, Blaine. Your soul is too innocent for this kind of experience."

"What?"

"It doesn't matter." Blaine was about to question him further but the other man quickly changed the subject. "So I was thinking that when you get the job we can have a little celebration once this little guy goes to bed."

Robert immediately lifted his gaze and looked at the two of them. "I want to have fun too!" He demanded loudly making Blaine laugh a little.

"I don't know if I'll get the job. We shouldn't make assumptions yet. I don't want to get my hopes up and then be disappointed." Blaine said not really sure if he really believed in himself enough to be able to think so far ahead into the future.

Sebastian rolled his eyes. "Don't be an idiot. Of course they'll take you. Everyone wants to have such a hot and young teacher like you." His eyes wandered up and down Blaine's silhouette in a way that made him blush. "I surely would anyway."

Blaine looked away and rolled his eyes. "But they're elementary school students. I don't think they care about how hot their teacher is."

"You would be surprised." Then much to Blaine's dismay Sebastian turned to his son. "Hey, Robert." The little boy reluctantly turned away from his ice-cream and looked up at Blaine's best friend. "In the school would you prefer to have a pretty lady as your teacher or an ugly one?"

Robert glanced briefly at his father as if he didn't really understand the question but then he answered anyway. "I want to have a pretty lady."

"See?" Sebastian said turning back to Blaine. "He knows what's good."

"Ugh, I hate you." Blaine said looking as his son just continued eating without questioning anything. "Anyway, we need to get out of the house more often."

"Oh, I _do_ go out of the house, my dear friend." Sebastian said once again with a mysterious smirk. However there was some kind of sadness hiding behind it and even though Blaine decided not to ask about it for now, he was starting to get a little worried. Once he used to know the man sitting in front of him like the back of his hand but now after years of not seeing each other they were like strangers.

Blaine wanted things to go back to the way they used to be but it seemed like they had both changed and he knew that now they had to learn each other all over again. Although it appeared like there was still some kind of bond keeping them together for which Blaine was extremely grateful. Maybe they didn't know each other but somehow they were still best friends.

"We've been here for a week now." Blaine spoke up gaining Sebastian's attention who raised his eyebrows. "And we have yet to go to the beach. I think we need to make up for that. Maybe we could go there now?"

Robert immediately raised his head and looked at his father with hopeful eyes. "Yes!" He exclaimed cheerfully. "I want to see the beach!"

"Will you join us?" Blaine asked turning his face towards Sebastian and smiling at him in invitation.

"Well, I still have some things to do…" Sebastian began and Blaine's heart almost broke upon hearing that. He remembered his best friend as someone who loved having fun and partying more than anything else but now it seemed like this person was gone. Blaine didn't show how much it affected him though and instead he just stared at Sebastian with puppy eyes hoping that it would work on him. "Ugh, you're impossible, Blaine. Okay, I will go but if I lose my job it's going to be your fault only."

"You are not going to lose the job. You're practically the boss." Blaine pointed out.

"No, my father is the boss. And trust me, he treats me worse than most of his employees." Sebastian said.

"Then you can blame it all on me." Blaine said taking another spoon of his ice-cream and licking his lips. He noticed Sebastian's eyes landing on them for a moment but he decided not to think too deep into it. "Right now we both really want to see the beach and I really hope that you'll show us the best places to relax without being disturbed."

"Nah, there is no such things as privacy here." Sebastian said rolling his eyes. "Or at least I don't have enough time to look for quiet places. I haven't been very interested in going to the beach anyway." He shrugged. "But if you two are so damn stubborn I will show you a few things in the city besides the beach. I can take you for a short turn so that you shut up."

Blaine grinned in triumph giving his son a high five. "That's a great idea. Let's go now."

* * *

They left the beach for the very end and when they finally reached it the Sun was about to set making the sky look as if it was set on fire. Without asking his father for permission Robert instantly started walking towards the water. Since it was pretty late the beach was relatively empty making the whole scenery very intimate.

"Robert! Wait!" Blaine called after his son but the little boy ignored his shouts. He sighed taking off his shoes and socks. Seeing Blaine's distress Sebastian started chuckling also taking off his shoes. "Ugh, I don't know who he takes his stubbornness after."

"You." Sebastian said instantly as they started walking on the sand. "When we were in high school you wouldn't listen to anybody. Well, we all were like that so I wouldn't be surprised if this little guy turned out the same."

Blaine glared at him as they slowly approached the shore where Robert was standing and looking with amazement at the waves. The sun touched the water and for a moment Blaine couldn't believe that they were really in such a beautiful place. "It's beautiful, isn't it?" Sebastian whispered into his ear as if he didn't want to destroy the moment by speaking any louder.

"Yeah…it's incredible." It wasn't the first time Blaine had a sea in front of him in his life but for some reason it seemed far more spectacular than the one in New York. They stood like that for some time until Blaine felt Sebastian's hand slip into his. He looked down at their joined hands and then back at Sebastian not really knowing what to think of this gesture. Was this because Sebastian just wanted to hold his hand or because he still had some feelings for Blaine?

But despite everything Blaine had to admit to himself that holding Sebastian's hand felt very nice and in that moment it seemed like he didn't need anything else to be happy. The world was at his feet, he was starting his life all over again and for the first time in his life it looked like he would be able to do with his life exactly what he wanted.

So he didn't let go of Sebastian's hand. Instead he squeezed it tightly and smiled warmly at Sebastian. The other man smiled back at him and then turned his face back to the water. Blaine followed his example and together they watched the sun slowly drown into the sparkling water.

"I forgot how beautiful this view was." Sebastian said at some point. "We need to come here more often."

"We surely do." Blaine agreed looking at his son who was now sitting on the ground and playing with the sand. He smiled believing that this place would really provide happiness for him and his son.

* * *

After a few days Blaine had an occasion to meet one of Sebastian's _friends._ It was one of those nights when Robert felt brave enough to sleep on his own so Blaine was left completely alone in his bedroom. It was a very nice room but he had yet to add a few personal touches so that it would feel more like home. He had a king-size bed only for himself and a big wardrobe with far more place than he needed. Blaine didn't feel particularly good about living in such a wonderful place for free but even though he had some money from selling the house Sebastian still wouldn't accept anything from him.

The room had a big window and looking through Blaine could see all the skyscrapers illuminated by various colorful lights. Sometimes he would spend hours just staring at the city when he couldn't sleep during the night.

That night Blaine had been actually able to fall into deep sleep for once but sooner than expected he was pulled out of his dreams. He blinked his eyes open not sure what had awaken him. But then he heard loud laughter and someone's attempt to quiet it. Blaine opened his eyes wide open and sat up straight on the bed. His heart started beating loudly in his chest as he considered his options. The odds of it being a burglar weren't big since their building had an amazing security system but Blaine knew that his son was sleeping in the next room and he was not about to possibly risk Robert's life because of his laziness.

Blaine quickly unwrapped himself from the duvet and raised to his feet. He walked though the room and carefully opened the door. The lights were switched on so he had to squint his eyes for a moment to get used to it. Then he walked into the kitchen from where he could hear the sounds. When he entered the specious room Blaine's jaw dropped as his saw what was really going on.

Sebastian was leaning against the wall with some guy sucking on his lips and pushing him against the hard surface. "Oh, God." Blaine said out loud which caused the two of them to pull apart instantly. "Ugh, I'm sorry…" He managed to get out of his mouth not knowing what to think of this situation.

Sebastian though didn't seem ashamed of himself at all. He chuckled, clearly amused upon seeing the shocked look on Blaine's face and gestured at the young man next to him. "Blaine…let me introduce you to my friend…this is…" The words he was speaking weren't clear and he was way too happy which made Blaine conclude that he was way beyond tipsy. "…what is your name exactly, babe?"

The other man was a bit shorter than Sebastian. He had short brown hair and eyes in almost the same exact color. "I can be whoever you want tonight." He said laughing.

"So this is…whatever." Sebastian said making the other guy giggle again. "Anyway." He said turning back to Blaine. "We have some things to talk over in my bedroom…it could take us a little while so please…just don't come in, alright?"

"I surely won't." Blaine quickly assured him. "Just please keep it quiet. I don't want Robert to wake up and see something like that."

"As you wish." Sebastian said. Then he grabbed his _friend's_ hand and started dragging him towards his bedroom. When they disappeared behind the closed door Blaine let out a long breath and poured himself a glass of cold water. The anger was flowing though his vines but Blaine wasn't really sure where this feeling was coming from. Sebastian was an adult and he could make whatever choices he wanted but it still made Blaine worried about him. He didn't even know that man's name. What if this was a hooker?

Blaine knew that they would have to talk about this in the morning but for now he decided to go back to bed even though Blaine suspected that he wouldn't get much sleep that night anymore. On the way back to his bedroom Blaine peeked from the hallway into his son's room to check if Robert was still asleep. The light from the corridor illuminated the boy's sleeping form a bit and Blaine smiled in relief realizing that Robert's sleep wasn't disturbed.

Then Blaine closed the door carefully and entered his own bedroom. He laid down in his bed with his body facing the ceiling and kept his eyes glued to the darkness above him. Blaine tried not to listen to the faint sounds that were still coming from behind the closed doors but there was no use. His imagination was working despite Blaine's will and he found himself disgusted by the imagines popping up inside of his head. It wasn't because he thought Sebastian's body wasn't attractive but because for some reason imaging the green-eyed man in the arms of someone else made Blaine feel uncomfortable.

He closed his eyes doing his best to fall asleep but it didn't really help much and in two hours he found himself in the same exact position. Blaine took his cell phone from the bedside table discovering that it was already six AM. He decided to get up and start the day even though he was aware of the fact that neither Sebastian nor his friend wanted to encounter him early in the morning.

Still wearing his pajamas Blaine walked into the kitchen and started making coffee for himself. Surely half an hour later the door to Sebastian's bedroom opened quietly and the brown-haired man walked out looking like a disaster. Blaine couldn't help a small smirk forming on his face upon seeing the guy's misery. "Want some coffee?" Blaine asked pointing at the pot located on the cupboard.

"No thanks." He said instantly with an awkward smile on his face. "I'm just gonna go." He said and without waiting for Blaine to say something else he left the apartment. His smile faded quickly. Even though he knew that they were both adults and Sebastian could do whatever he wanted it still felt wrong that the green-eyed man had sex with someone he didn't even know the name of. Maybe Blaine was overreacting but he thought it was something they needed to have a serious conversation about.

Without much appetite Blaine ate breakfast and washed the dishes before sitting back down by the kitchen table with no intention in letting Sebastian slip past him unnoticed. At some point Blaine came to a conclusion though that just sitting around and waiting while Sebastian could not possibly show up for a few more hours was a waste of time so he took a quick shower, grabbed his laptop and after sitting down on the sofa in the living room he started browsing the internet with nothing else to do.

The living room had to be Blaine's favorite part of the whole apartment. It was huge like the rest of the flat but it really seemed like someone lived there. When he had first arrived Blaine discovered that Sebastian had a lot of pictures, just like Kurt and Amanda in New York. Most of them were hanging on the walls in the living room or standing on the coffee table. Blaine had been very pleasantly surprised that among other there was also one of him and his son, and another one of all four of them taken in high school.

Blaine loved spending evenings watching movies with Sebastian and looking at the pictures. The memories would enter his mind and make him travel back to the past when everything had been so simple. The living room also had a quite specious balcony with a nice view but Blaine preferred the one in his own bedroom anyway.

It was Saturday which meant that Sebastian didn't have to wake up for another few hours and which also made Blaine want to just storm into his bedroom and talk to him about bringing strangers into their now shared apartment right then and there but he knew better than to talk to a half-asleep hangover person.

So he just kept sitting on the sofa with computer in his lap ignoring the fact that he could be doing something much more productive during that time. At some point Robert, with a mop of messy curls on his head, emerged from his bedroom and joined Blaine in the living room. He immediately started asking Blaine to go with him to play outside.

Blaine laughed upon seeing the desperate need in the boy's eyes. "You need to wash yourself first, get dressed and eat your breakfast. Then maybe we'll go." Robert looked a little disappointed as he ducked his head and let out a moan of frustration. Blaine smiled softly marveling at how cute his son looked even when he was mad. He ruffed his mop of curls fondly trying to cheer him up somehow but the boy still seemed sad. "Don't worry, kid. I promise we'll go outside once you're all ready, alright?"

A small smile instantly made its way onto Robert's face as he looked up at his father turning his round pleading eyes at him. "Awesome." He exclaimed cheerfully almost jumping in the air which made Blaine wonder how it was possible that he had been granted with someone as cute and amazing. "Can we go-"

Robert's enthusiastic ramble was interrupted when they heard the sound of the door being open. Blaine looked at the silhouette walking out of the bedroom and almost cracked a smile upon seeing the disaster that he was. The man was leaning fully on the door frame with his green eyes half-closed and something that appeared to be drool coming out of his mouth. He wasn't wearing a shirt showing his toned chest. Blaine's jaw dropped a little since he realized that the man was much more muscled that he was in high school. He quickly collected himself though knowing that it was not the time for such thoughts.

"Keep it quiet." Sebastian mumbled hugging the door and looking more adorable than he should.

"We aren't loud, Sebastian." Blaine pointed out looking over at his son. "Go to your room and play for a while on your own, okay? I'll come to you."

Robert narrowed his eyebrows making an angry face. "I want to go outside! You promised." He said sadly.

Blaine sighed hating to see his son like this. "We will go outside but first I have to talk to uncle Sebastian for a sec. Go to your room."

"But daddy!" The boy looked like he was about to burst into tears and Blaine really didn't need that.

"Go to your room." He repeated calmly. "Then we will go outside and play whatever you want."

The boy still looked sad and angry but eventually he turned around and quickly disappeared into his bedroom. When Robert was gone Blaine turned back to Sebastian to find him basically sleeping pressed against the wooden door. He put the laptop away, stood up from the sofa and slowly approached his friend. "We need to talk."

"I'm pretty sure it can wait." Sebastian said sleepily opening his eyes slightly to glare at Blaine. "Now what I need to do is go back to sleep. Good night, Blaine." He stood up semi-straight and started closing the door to his bedroom but Blaine grabbed his arm and basically dragged him into the living room. Sebastian opened his eyes fully, now looking angry. "Hey! What the hell do you think you're doing?"

"How convenient. I was actually about to ask you the same thing." Blaine said crossing his arms over his chest. "Who was that guy?"

Sebastian shrugged his shoulders running his hand through his messy hair. "I don't know. Just someone I met at a club yesterday. I may not be completely awake but I am conscious enough to know that I don't have to explain myself to you."

"You can sleep with whoever you want, Sebastian. I seriously couldn't care less." Blaine said, getting more and more annoyed with each passing moment. "But you can't bring strangers here because there's a little kid living with you now and you don't know what could happen! I can't have you risking my child's life and health for people you don't even know."

Sebastian rolled his eyes sitting down on the sofa. "Why do you always have to be so damn serious, Blaine? This guy was way too drunk to harm your precious little baby. Why would he do that anyway?"

Blaine started pacing the room back and forth keeping his eyes glued to the man sitting in front of him. "I don't care. It doesn't matter but I don't want you to bring some sleazy guys met in some shady night clubs. Have some respect for yourself."

Sebastian raised his eyebrows and then busted out laughing. "Excuse me? You're not going to tell me how to live my life. As far as I'm concerned this is still my apartment and I can do whatever the fuck I want."

Blaine clenched his hands into fists trying not to blow up in anger and do something that he would come to regret later. "How often do you do that? Is this a regular thing?" Blaine asked not even trying to hide his emotions anymore. He was aware of the fact that he was overreacting but he just couldn't help it for some reason. The thought of Sebastian wasting his life and possibly risking his health with strangers was making him both extremely angry and worried.

"How often do I do...what?" Sebastian asked crossing his arms over his chest. An ominous smile was playing on his lips indicating that he knew exactly what Blaine was asking about.

"How often do you bring strangers into this apartment?" Blaine asked.

"It depends." Sebastian replied looking away, as if in shame. It seemed like his mood suddenly shifted. He didn't look confident and defensive anymore. His green eyes filled with a mixture of regret and something that could be described as longing while his voice was weaker and not as loud as before.

"On what?" Blaine asked feeling that the anger was slowly leaving his body.

Sebastian shrugged still not meeting Blaine's gaze. He was silent for a few moments looking straight ahead with his arms still crossed. Then he finally looked up at Blaine and said quietly: "On how lonely I feel."

Blaine opened his mouth and closed a few times not really knowing what to say. Sebastian was the type of person that would quickly fit into any group of people that he wanted so it was a shock for Blaine to find out that his best friend felt lonely.

With nothing wise to say Blaine sat down on the sofa next to Sebastian. "You really don't have any friends here?" He asked looking over at his friend.

Sebastian once again shrugged. "What do you think? I am young, barely out of college and yet I am above all of coworkers who are at least a few years older than me. I'm privileged and they hate me for that."

Blaine kept his eyes glued to Sebastian's face as he moved a little closer to him and hesitantly wrapped his arm around his bare shoulders. It felt a little weird to touch his warm skin like that but it was also kind of nice. "Now you have me." He said which made Sebastian look at him. "And I don't want to seem like such a prude but I don't think that sleeping around with strangers is a good way of spending your free time."

Sebastian smiled slightly. "Then I hope you'll arrange some plans to make me forget all about these guys?" He raised his eyebrows in challenge but when he noticed that Blaine still wasn't smiling his face fell again. "I'm sorry. I know this is something I shouldn't laugh about but...God...I don't even remember being in a serious relationship. Everything is always about sex."

"It shouldn't be that way." Blaine said calmly still keeping his hold on Sebastian.

"You don't say?" Sebastian said sarcastically. "I guess...I can't be any other way."

"Yes, you can." Blaine said firmly, sure that eventually Sebastian was going to find someone to love. "Quit self pitying yourself and pull your shit together. Now that you have me you don't have to be lonely anymore." Blaine paused for a moment and smiled at Sebastian in encouragement. "We can both start our lives anew. A clear start. We'll make our dreams come true and have some fun along the way, alright? Does that sound good to you or am I just wasting my time and you're just going to ignore wise advises like you always have?"

Sebastian cracked a smile leaning his head against Blaine's. "No. This one time I may actually make an exception." He looked over at Blaine and somehow his eyes were still filled with sadness and longing but he decided for once not to comment on that. "Just for you."

* * *

"Congratulations, Mr. Anderson. I think your perfect for this job."

Blaine blinked his eyes a few times in surprise staring at the middle-aged woman sitting in front of him. "Really?" He asked.

The woman smiled warmly. "I know that you're not experienced but you're young, full of passion and love for both music and children. What more could I ask for? I think you'll do just fine. I'll send all the information you'll need to your email and I hope to see you real soon."

When Blaine exited the school building he looked at the playground imagining all the kids running there and smiled realizing that soon he would be helping them discover their love for music. Blaine really hoped that he would like this job. It seemed like there wasn't anything not to like about it but he feared that he would feel unfulfilled by this. He had dreamed about doing something great and meaningful that would leave impact on the whole world for so long and now he was going to be a teacher and he didn't really know what to think of it.

Despite these thoughts Blaine walked home with his head held high hoping that if his mother could see him right then she would be proud of him. Unfortunately that was something he was never going to find out so hope was really all he had. All in all Blaine was in a good mood as he walked into the apartment. He was ready to be greeted by Robert playing in his room and Sebastian hidden in the office with his eyes glued to the computer screen but as soon as the door closed behind him Blaine heard his son's enthusiastic voice.

The little boy ran out of the living room and before Blaine knew what was going on his son jumped into his arms and hugged him tightly. Blaine, a little caught off guard wrapped his arms around the boy and pulled him close to his body. "Are you going to be a teacher?" Robert asked with curious sparks dancing in his hazel eyes and a wide grin attached to his face.

"Of course he is." Sebastian also walked out of the living room looking as if he knew for sure how Blaine's interview had gone. "Hot teachers are not that common thing so they would be dumb if they turned him down."

The hallway was silent for a moment as both Robert and Sebastian stared at him in anticipation. Blaine wanted to keep them waiting just for a while longer but seeing as his son was actually getting a little worried Blaine smiled widely. "Yes, I've got the job."

Sebastian's small smile turned into a huge grin while Robert wrapped his arms tightly around Blaine's neck almost chocking him. Sebastian approached them and embraced them both in a bone-crushing hug. Blaine's heart almost melted because while he had dreamed about a different job seeing both his son and best friend so happy for him was enough to make him appreciate all he had.

In the evening when Robert was asleep they opened a bottle of champagne and celebrated a bit by drinking way too much. But that was alright because they both deserved to have a little fun with each other every once in a while.

* * *

Blaine sat down on his bed putting down his laptop in front of him. He opened it and logged into Skype. When he saw that Kurt was online he smiled in excitement as his heart skipped a beat. Because of the time difference between Vancouver and London and with their busy schedules on top of it, it was getting harder and harder to find time for a proper conversation. Blaine was mad at himself for letting something like that happen but there wasn't really much they could do about it. Despite everything they still talked at least once a week and for now that had to be enough.

When he saw Kurt's face staring back at him he wanted to laugh and cry at the same time. He composed himself though knowing that breaking down right then wouldn't be a really good idea. "Hi." Blaine greeted his best friend softly.

Kurt laughed a little. "Hello, Blaine." The hazel-eyed man realized that his best friend had started stylizing his hair in a different way making him look way more adult that it should. Kurt seemed even more perfect than before if that was even possible. "So…did you get the job?"

Blaine smiled brightly. "Yes! I did. Can you believe it?"

Kurt laughed once again. "Yes, I can. You're extremely talented, Blaine. And good with kids. You're the perfect teacher. Someone had to recognize your talents sooner or later."

"I really hope this is a turning point for me in my life." Blaine said more seriously. "I need to start doing something with it to provide a good future for Robert."

"You will." Kurt said firmly.

"And how's London? Still as grey and rainy?" Blaine asked not wanting the whole conversation to revolve around him.

"Actually, today we have a pretty nice weather." Kurt said running his hand though his hair and smiling. "Amanda's coming to visit me next weekend."

"That's awesome." Blaine said, happy that his best friend would see Amanda again but also a little jealous of her since he dreamed about visiting him as well.

"Yes, but…" Kurt bit his bottom lip looking away. "Her brother is coming to London tomorrow and she asked me to take care of him for a few days until she arrives. And well, I don't know him and he's supposed to stay at my place. I mean…he could always book a room in a hotel but my apartment's quite big and I live alone so it would be a waste of money. Ugh, I don't know what to do now. I'm kind of scared of sharing my apartment with a complete stranger."

Blaine laughed seeing his friend's struggle. "Kurt," The man looked up at him. "If Amanda's brother is anything like her you really have nothing to worry about. I'm not saying that you should trust him completely with everything, no questions asked. What I'm saying is that it might a good opportunity to make a new friend."

Kurt smiled softly. "Thank you, Blaine." He paused for a moment. "I need to make some time to visit you."

Blaine's heart started racing in his chest at the prospect of seeing his best friend again. "That would be amazing."

"But I don't know when because I'm working on a really big project right now and I have barely time to sleep and eat." Blaine's smile disappeared and he raised his eyebrows. "Oh, don't worry about me. I promise I'm not overworking myself."

"I surely hope so." Blaine said. They talked for an hour longer, discussing everything that had happened to them in the course of the last week. Once the conversation was over Blaine's heart started aching as he once again realized how much he wanted to have his best friend right there with him.


	18. Chapter 17

**October, 2019**

* * *

"I hate Mary. She's so mean. She steals my food." Robert said angrily slowly sipping on his soup.

Blaine looked up at him from his own bowl and raised his eyebrows trying to stop himself from smiling. Even though Robert's problem seemed silly and unimportant Blaine knew that for him it was something meaningful. "Have you thought about saying that to your teacher?" Blaine asked.

"No." Robert admitted.

"Then maybe you should try that? Or just talk to her and tell her that you're going to share your lunch with her only if she asks nicely."

Robert looked at him as if Blaine had gone insane. "But I don't want to give her my food."

This time Blaine couldn't stop himself from smiling. He was about to say something wise that would make his son realize the importance of sharing with others but then he heard the doorbell. He didn't really feel like having visitors but he raised from his chair anyway and shuffled towards the front door intending to get rid of whoever was on the other side of it as quickly as possible.

When Blaine unlocked the door though his jaw dropped and he felt like he was going to faint. For a few seconds he was just staring open-mouthed with his eyes wide open at the woman standing in front of him. "Quinn…what are you doing here?" He asked, not quite able to greet her properly.

Blaine had to admit that she looked even more gorgeous than in high school. Gone was the Barbie image with long blond hair and delicate make-up. Now she looked way more mature and confident. She had short but still very feminine light brown hair and a lot of make-up applied to her face. She was wearing a brown leather jacket and a pair of black skin-tight jeans matched with black high heels.

Seeing Blaine's daze she smirked looking him up and down. "What? Aren't you happy to see an old high school friend? Or maybe I'm just a ghost of the past to you now?" When Blaine was still too shocked to say anything the woman let herself in and looked around the hallway with a mysterious smile playing on her pink lips. "You've changed." She said once again settling her eyes on him. "You don't gel your hair down anymore." Quinn pointed out with what seemed like nostalgia.

Blaine absentmindedly touched his curls. "Umm…yeah…I mean…I still do sometimes."

"You look better like this." Quinn said reaching out her hand and tucking one of Blaine's curls behind his ear. Then she stared at him for a moment longer before opening up her arms in invitation. "Come on, Blaine. We're not strangers. Give me a hug."

Seeing her standing like this, with her greenish eyes open and honest Blaine smiled realizing just how much he had missed her. Without thinking too much about it he surged forward wrapping his arms around Quinn's shoulder and holding her tightly close to his body. "You have no idea how difficult it was to track you down." Quinn said. Then she added softly. "I'm so sorry about your mother. If I have known I would have come to the funeral."

"It's okay." Blaine said honestly as they slowly pulled away and just looked into each other's eyes for a long moment. He couldn't believe that almost six years had passed since they last saw each other.

But then something very obvious occurred to him.

Quinn was Robert's mother.

A cold shiver ran down Blaine's spine when he realized that his son was in the other room, slowly eating his soup while his birth mother was standing just a few feet away. Blaine let his eyes travel down her body. She didn't look poor. His heart started beating loudly as he realized that maybe Quinn was there to get her son back.

"What are you here for?" Blaine asked allowing himself to show a little more anger than he probably should.

Quinn raised her eyebrows and looked at Blaine in question. "I came here to see my best friends again."

"No." Blaine said firmly. "You're here for Robert, aren't you?"

Her eyes widened and she opened her mouth and closed a few times before finally sighing and saying. "Well, yes. He _is_ part of the reason why I'm here. I want to meet my son."

Blaine wrapped his arms over his chest and looked at the door on his left in panic. Deep down he knew that Quinn couldn't just simply take him and flee but some irrational part of his mind kept telling him that this was exactly what she was there for.

Quinn apparently saw all the emotions on her face as she quickly started speaking. "You don't think that I want to take him away from you, do you?" Blaine looked away. "Oh, God. You really do think that this is what is happening." She tucked her hair behind her ears and slowly reached out her hand towards Blaine. The hazel-eyed man eyed it suspiciously but didn't take it. She ignored his silent resistance and just grabbed his hand anyway. "I do want to meet Robert but I am still not ready to become a mother…and even if I was I would never take Robert away from you. I can't imagine anyone else raising my child."

Blaine let out a breath of relief. "So who do you want me to introduce you as to him?"

Quinn shrugged her shoulders. "You can just say that I'm your friend. At least that's true. Or at least I hope so."

Blaine let himself smile. "Of course you're still my friend."

Quinn smiled but then her face became serious again. She looked more shy and reserved than Blaine ever remembered her being. It was a really odd situation. "So…can I see him now?"

"Sure." Blaine said softly. Now he knew how dumb it had been to think that Quinn's intentions weren't pure. "We were just in the middle of eating dinner. You can join us if you want."

"I'd love that." Her voice was quiet and full of concern as she slowly followed Blaine into the kitchen. The boy was still in the same place, now more focused on talking to his favorite toy than eating the soup.

"Robert?" The five year old looked up at his father but his eyes quickly landed on Quinn. He looked a little scared but Blaine was sure that he would quickly warm up to her. "This is my friend, Quinn." The boy just kept staring at her with his eyes wide open. "It's not polite to stare. Say hello."

"Hello." Robert muttered and then quickly returned to eating the soup. Blaine shook his head in amusement and then looked back at Quinn. When he saw her his heart almost broke into thousand pieces. Her lips were parted and her gaze still glued to the little boy. Her eyes filled with tears as she just stood there, seemingly frozen in place.

Then she seemed to snap out of her trance as she closed her mouth and smiled slightly. "It's nice to meet you, Robert." She said gaining the boy's attention. He looked at his mother for a moment but didn't say anything.

"He needs a little time to warm up to you." Blaine said softly trying to comfort her.

"I get it." She answered.

"Take a seat. I will pour you some soup."

The dinner was unusually quiet as it seemed like neither of them knew what to say. Quinn kept staring at Robert while Blaine was staring at her while the little boy kept pretending to be preoccupied by eating. Blaine knew that it was his tactic to avoid talking to strangers but he could also see just how much Quinn wanted to reunite with him.

When they all ate Robert exited the kitchen with the speed of light leaving Quinn and Blaine alone. The man pretended not to see Quinn wiping away her tears as he put all the dishes in the sink.

"He looks just like you." Quinn said quietly as if it was something bad.

"Yeah…" Blaine agreed. "But he's good your nose."

"I am so overdramatic, aren't I?" Quinn asked running her hand through her hair and looking both sad and frustrated.

"No, you're not. I can only imagine how intense seeing your kid after over five years can be." Blaine said smiling at her in sympathy.

"Okay, enough of this." Quinn said firmly. "I didn't come here to cry all the time. I want to know all about your current life."

"Let's go to the living room to talk then." Blaine said to which Quinn nodded and silently followed him.

Once they were both sitting on a comfortable sofa the woman started looking around the room. "You've got yourself a nice apartment, Anderson." She concluded looking back at her friend.

"It belongs to Sebastian." Blaine said. "It's stupid because he doesn't let me pay for anything." Quinn chuckled crossing one leg over another. "What?" Blaine questioned raising his eyebrows.

Quinn smirked and Blaine was actually glad to see her like that again. "Is there something going on between the two of you?"

"What? Of course not." Blaine rushed to say.

Quinn's smirk got even more sleazy. "Why not?" She asked. "You two live together. It seems like the perfect opportunity to start something new."

Blaine rolled his eyes. "We are just friends. We both know that turning friendship into relationship is not always a good idea."

Quinn rolled her eyes sighing. "Why do you always play so safe, Anderson? You're going to get nowhere with this attitude."

"I don't know what you mean."

She laughed shortly. "Yes, you do. You could have gotten Hummel but you were too much of a coward to go for it." Blaine's cheeks turned bright red as he remembered that she knew about his feelings for Kurt. "I hope you're not still pining after him."

"Of course not." Blaine replied way too quickly. Not wanting Quinn to question him about this further he decided to change the subject. "How's Los Angeles? What do you do?"

"I'm a model." Quinn said proudly. "Nothing too big though. I was told at the very beginning that my beauty is too commercial for high fashion but it's alright. I really don't need to be popular. Because of that recently I've taken interest in photography. I'm trying to educate myself in this field."

"That's pretty impressive." Blaine admitted, genuinely proud of his friend and maybe even a little jealous of her success. "Do you have anyone special in your life?" He asked curiously.

"Yep." Quinn replied with a blinding smile. "What about you though? Does your life consist of anything other than bringing up a kid and being Smythe's butler/ sex slave?"

Blaine rolled his eyes but smiled a little anyway. "I'm a music teacher at a local elementary school."

She nodded her head. "Cool." She paused for a moment. "So…if you're not dating Sebastian…is there anyone else?"

"No." Blaine admitted. "Having a kid is pretty time consuming. And well…when my mother got ill…it all became way too complicated to even think about bringing someone new into my life."

Her smile disappeared and she looked down at her hands for a moment before looking back into Blaine's eyes. "I'm so sorry, Blaine. I feel so bad about living you alone with a little kid like that."

"You have nothing to be sorry for, Quinn." Blaine said honestly. "You had every right to not be ready for a child. I guess I wasn't ready to become a parent either but somehow with the help of my mother I made it work."

"Still. You shouldn't have done all of this on your own." Quinn said sadly.

"I wasn't on my own." Blaine pointed out. "I had my mother, Kurt and Sebastian. That's a lot of help."

"Speaking of Kurt." She said. "I've seen on facebook that he's in London. What is he doing there?" She asked. "I haven't seen him or talked to him since high school."

"He works for some big company." Blaine said with a smile, proud of his best friend for achieving something so amazing.

"A fashion company?" She asked.

"Well, no. He's an architect."

Quinn furrowed her eyebrows. "Man, that sucks then."

"What? Why?" Blaine asked, confused.

Quinn rolled her eyes once again. "Kurt should be making clothes…not buildings. That's what he's meant for."

Blaine shrugged. "I know he's amazing at sketching clothes…but if being an architect is what makes him happy then so be it."

"Bullshit. You can't seriously think that." When Blaine didn't say anything else to do she added. "Is Kurt seeing anyone then?"

"Yes." Saying that out loud still felt wrong but at least his heart wasn't aching terribly anymore. "He's dating his best friend's brother."

"I thought you were his best friend." Quinn said sending him a weird look.

"Well, yeah…his other nest friend." Blaine explained. "They've been seeing each other for three months now. His name's Adam and I think it's getting serious." Blaine said avoiding Quinn's gaze.

"You're still not over him, are you?" Quinn said sadly.

"You could say that." Blaine finally admitted. "But it's not that easy. Trust me."

"I know." Quinn said resting her hand on Blaine's shoulder in what was supposed to be a comforting gesture. The woman probably noticed that her friend didn't want to keep talking about that as she changed the subject. "Where's Sebastian? I'm dying to see his stupid face again."

Blaine smiled slightly. "He's at work."

"But it's Saturday." Quinn pointed out.

"Yes. He works almost all the time." Quinn's eyes widened comically. "Strange, huh?"

"Well, yeah. I can' t imagine him doing anything productive."

"Things have changed, huh?" Blaine asked with a nostalgic smile. "We really haven't seen each other for a long time."

"Yeah…" Quinn admitted sadly. "I really hope we will change that."

"Me too."

In that moment they heard the door being open. They looked at each other and Blaine noticed that Quinn looked a little worried. He was also nervous because he had no idea how Sebastian was going to react upon seeing their old friend.

But all of his worries were blown away when Sebastian appeared in the living room. As soon as he saw Quinn sitting beside Blaine on the sofa his eyes widened and a huge grin appeared on his face. "Look what the cat dragged in." He said. "Our little miss Fabrey in all her grace."

The woman stood up from the sofa also grinning. "Here I am." She said. "Missed me?"

Sebastian smirked. "Not really." He said. "Life's so much easier when there's no one to annoy you." They both laughed and Quinn quickly surged forward wrapping her arms around Sebastian's body. Sebastian returned the hug looking like his teenage self again. Blaine watched the pair dreaming that he could also see his other best friend.

* * *

In the evening they all went for a walk through the city. Even though Quinn didn't want to seem like it, it was clear than she was charmed by the city just like Blaine had been when he saw it for the first time. As predicted Robert had quickly realized that Quinn was really no danger so now he was telling her all about his friends at school much to Quinn's amazement. The woman seemed bewitched by the little boy which warmed up Blaine's heart. Now that he knew that Quinn wasn't there to steal Robert away he really wanted the two of them to get along.

Walking side by side with Sebastian and watching Quinn with Robert he came to a conclusion that his life was pretty much perfect. Maybe his mother was dead, maybe the person he loved wasn't there with him, but maybe actually the feelings would finally get buried deep into his soul and he could start breathing freely for the first time in his life.

He wasn't hurting for once. Everything was good and he really hoped it was going to stay that way. "What are you thinking about?" Sebastian suddenly asked snapping Blaine out of his thoughts. "You look happy."

"That's because I think I am." Blaine admitted smiling at his best friend. "Do I wish that my mother was still here? Absolutely. Do I miss her? Like crazy. Do I miss Kurt? Yes." He paused for a moment. "But that's okay because I have you and I have Robert. I don't need anything else."

Sebastian smirked. "You're so fucking cheesy."

"Hey! Don't curse in front of my child!" Blaine said punching playfully Sebastian's shoulder.

"He doesn't hear us anyway." Sebastian said looking at Robert who was talking Quinn's ear off. She didn't seem to mind though. They walked for a moment in silence until Sebastian suddenly slipped his hand in Blaine's. The hazel-eyed boy looked down at their clasped hands and smiled. In the corner of his eye he saw Quinn winking at him.

A few days later when Blaine was saying good-bye to Quinn in the airport they promised each other that from then on they were going to keep in touch and Blaine swore that he would send her pictures of their son every now and then. "You and Sebastian are going to become a thing sooner or later." She said suddenly. "It's just a matter of time. Believe me."

"Well, I don't think that it would be a good idea." Blaine said feeling his cheeks turn bright red.

Quinn smiled as if she was explaining something very obvious to a kindergartner. "Oh, I _know_ it's a catastrophic idea." She paused for a moment. "But sometimes good things come out of bad ideas." And with that she blew Blaine a kiss and started walking towards the security check blending into the crowd of people. Blaine just stood there following Quinn with his eyes and wondering whether or not she was right or horribly wrong.


	19. Chapter 18

**A/N: The song used in this chapter is _Back To December_ by Taylor Swift. All rights belong to its creators.**

 **Thank you all for reading and leaving reviews :)**

* * *

 **December, 2019**

* * *

Blaine felt extremely out of place. He kept looking through the window every five seconds at the snowflakes dancing in the dim light of streetlamps. He took a sip of his coffee trying to calm down his racing heart and remember that this evening didn't have to mean anything if he didn't want it to.

It was kind of stupid but Blaine didn't really remember how to date. How to make an amazing first impression and sweep his date off his feet. Blaine wasn't new to the dating area though. In the middle school he had gone to a few dates with girls, then after realizing that he preferred boys he started going out on dates in high school with them instead. But then Blaine's heart had been stolen by Kurt and his love life died. Blaine was ashamed of the fact that he never really had a real boyfriend. In the college he had also been on some dates but it never really turned into anything serious enough to call it a relationship.

But maybe now it was all going to change finally. Blaine learned how to live without Kurt, avoid constantly thinking about him and wondering what could have been. Sometimes he still wished that he could be in his arms but Blaine was now aware of the fact that these feelings had to be put aside if he ever wanted to find happiness with someone else. Now Blaine was confident that he could really start dating again and give all he had into a potential relationship.

When the door to the coffee shop opened Blaine's heart skipped a beat. He saw a young attractive man in a long coat and black gloves. A colorful scarf was wrapped around his neck and his hair was hidden under a purple beanie. When his gaze landed on Blaine his eyes sparkled and he smiled shyly, clearly not sure if Blaine was really the person he was there to meet. Blaine smiled back in invitation and waved at him. He was pretty confident that it was really Andrew, the guy Sebastian had set him up with.

"Hi." The man said as he approached Blaine's table. "You're Blaine, right?"

"Yes, it's me." Blaine said raising to his feet. They just looked at each other for a few seconds in silence until Blaine reached out his hand. "And you're Andrew?" The man nodded his head shaking Blaine's hand. "It's nice to meet you."

Andrew took off his coat and hung it over the back of his chair. Then they both sat down at the table, their eyes met and Blaine smiled, not really sure what to say now. "Wow. Sebastian told me that you're not bad looking but I didn't know that you would be _that_ nice to look at." Andrew said.

Blaine felt his cheeks begin to heat but he laughed a bit at how honest about his feelings Andrew seemed to be. "Thanks." He said wrapping his fingers around the warm cup.

"I've never been on a date with an American before." Andrew said with a flirty smile.

Blaine laughed once again. "Well, I've never been on a date with a Canadian before."

Right then a waitress approached their table and took Andrew's order. Once they were alone again Andrew asked. "So how do you like Canada so far?"

Blaine shrugged. "I love the city but honestly I don't think it looks much different from American ones."

"Really? What made you move here then?" Andrew asked.

Blaine's good mood vanished instantly. He should have known that his date would want to know that. He really didn't feel like opening up his wounds that weren't completely healed yet. But he knew that starting something off with a lie was never a good idea. "My mother died almost a year ago." He admitted.

A smile that had been playing on Andrew's face since he entered the coffee shop was now gone. "Oh, wow." Was all that came out of his mouth.

"I graduated from college in May and since there was nothing keeping me in Ohio anymore I decided to move in here with Sebastian and start my life all over."

"I'm so sorry for you loss, Blaine." Andrew said seriously. "Can I ask you a question though?"

"Go ahead." Blaine said.

"How old are you?"

"Twenty four." Blaine replied fearing what his next question would be.

Andrew nodded his head looking more and more intrigued but also careful. "You don't have to answer if it's something really personal but why did you graduate only now?"

Blaine ducked his head already knowing that nothing good would come out of this meeting. He tried to hope that Andrew was going to turn out to be understanding but he didn't have a good feeling about that. "Umm…in my freshman year of college I found out that I had a son…so I dropped out to take care of him."

"Oh, I get it." Andrew said and for a short moment Blaine allowed himself to believe that maybe they would still have a nice evening. But then as their meeting progressed Blaine realized that by his revelation he had destroyed everything. Andrew didn't seem present all the time and he kept checking his cell phone every once in a while.

After an hour Andrew declared that he really had to get going. Blaine watched him quickly gather his things and walk out of the coffee shop. Once the dark-haired man was left alone he emptied his cup of coffee, paid their bill and also exited the cafe.

As Blaine walked through the streets full of cheerful people, who were excited about the upcoming Christmas, he realized that he wasn't really mad that he was not going to see Andrew again. They didn't know each other so Blaine didn't really care about him. What he cared about however was that maybe all of his future dates would see him through the prism of his child.

Blaine was sure that not everyone was like that but he was also aware of the fact that not many people at his age wanted to already have children. When he reached his apartment Blaine unlocked the door, took of his shoes and coat and wandered over to the living room where Sebastian was sitting on the sofa and watching a movie. Without words Blaine fell face flat right next to his friend.

"Already home?" Sebastian questioned. "I thought that your date would end with a breakfast."

"It turns out that not everyone wants to date a single parent." Blaine sat up straight and looked over at Sebastian. "What a shocker."

"Oh, come on. Quit moping. Not everyone's like that." Sebastian said reaching out and ruffling Blaine's hair. "I'm going to have to talk to him about this."

Blaine waved his hand dismissively. "Leave him alone. I don't really blame him for that."

"But I do." Sebastian said, his voice becoming serious. "I don't get how someone could possibly decide that they don't want to get to know someone as amazing as you just because you have a child. That's just ridiculous."

Blaine shrugged. "You're being way too nice for me. What have you done?"

Sebastian rolled his eyes. "Do I have to feel guilty about something to be nice for you?"

Blaine smiled slightly. "Well, it's usually like that."

Sebastian returned Blaine's smile but his face was still serious. "Blaine…since you moved in I've been dying to tell you something." The shorter man raised his eyebrows in surprise as he saw some kind of fire in Sebastian's green orbs. "When we stopped talking to each other I started trying to get rid of my feelings for you. This is why I started going to all these clubs and getting wasted with strangers." Blaine's heart started beating faster. "For a moment I thought I was alright but when I saw you again everything came back to me." Sebastian's face was honest and open. He took one of Blaine's hands into both of his own and looked deeply into his eyes. A cold shiver ran down his spine when Blaine realized just how important he was to Sebastian and how much he meant to him.

"I wish I could read your mind." Sebastian continued. "Because then I would know exactly what you're feeling right now. I know that you didn't want me back then but I keep hoping that maybe since then something has changed." He paused for a moment taking a deep breath. "Maybe it sounds stupid and I am just cliché but I feel like every time I see you something inside of me wants to be set free. And don't get me wrong, Blaine. I'm not the same naïve boy that I was back then. If you say no…I will be alright." Sebastian smiled carefully. "But I think that together we could create something worth taking a risk."

Blaine wanted to cry. "No, Sebastian." He said shaking his head. "We both know that getting together with friends _always_ ends in tears. I don't want to get hurt and I also don't want to hurt you by doing something that could end our friendship." Tears started forming in Sebastian's eyes but he quickly blinked them away, apparently not wanting to seem like he was weak. Blaine understood him. Hell, he understood him more than anyone could which meant that turning him away was just as painful for him. "I'm sorry, Sebastian."

"I get it." The green-eyed man replied. "I shouldn't have said anything."

"No." Blaine said squeezing Sebastian's hand. "I'm glad you told me. I'm not mad at you or anything. I'm just bit overwhelmed. That's all."

"I hope this isn't going to change anything between us." Sebastian said, his eyes full of sadness and regret.

"Me too." Blaine admitted looking down his hand which was still in Sebastian's grasp. "Is Rob already asleep?"

"Yes." Sebastian replied also letting his eyes rest on their joined hands.

"I'll go check on him." Blaine said wanting to get out of that room as soon as he could. Sebastian nodded his head and let go of Blaine's hand. The shorter man without another word stood up from the sofa and quickly walked out of the living room. He carefully opened the door to Robert's bedroom and walked in. The room was completely dark except from the dim light coming from behind the window.

Blaine sat down on Robert's bed and carefully ran his hand through the boy's hair. Robert shifted and turned to the other side making Blaine smile slightly at how adorable he was. Blaine leaned his back against the cold wall feeling panic raising up instead of his chest. Just when he thought that everything was going to be fine Sebastian had to confess his feelings and make things complicated and confusing once again.

He didn't have a doubt that Sebastian would a good boyfriend. Even though he could be annoying and sarcastic at times he was also caring and supportive. His smile could add a thousand new colors to the world and sometimes his green eyes could hold so many emotions that it was hard to breath. But despite all of these things Blaine had to remind himself just exactly why they couldn't be together.

Because Blaine couldn't let himself get his heart broken again. Yes, maybe Blaine loved Sebastian in a way. Yes, maybe under different circumstances he would say yes and give them a shot just to see if something incredible could come out of them. Yes, maybe Sebastian was pretty much perfect that everyone would be jealous of Blaine for being with someone like him.

But Sebastian meant to Blaine way too much to risk losing him. What if in a few months or weeks it turned out that they weren't a perfect match after all? What if it would all end in a disaster? What if Blaine would lose a friend? What would he do without one of the people closest to his heart? He wouldn't survive that.

Getting over Kurt had been a long and painful process and they never were actually together. Blaine didn't even want to think how much more he would hurt if he knew how being together with Kurt felt like.

Blaine wished he could call Kurt and ask for an advice on what to do but he realized that it was something that he had to do on his own. One thing was sure. Blaine had to figure out how not to ruin their friendship with his rejection.

But then an unwelcome thought entered Blaine's mind.

What if they actually ended up together?

Blaine would finally have someone who would love him for who he was, no questions asked. He would have someone to cuddle to at night. They would be able to be a happy family. Blaine was confident that Sebastian loved Robert as if he was his own son so maybe the little boy would finally have a full family.

They would go together on long walks hand in hand. Blaine wouldn't have to worry about being rejected by anyone just because he was a father. Maybe finally Blaine would once and for all get rid of his feelings for Kurt and just be a good friend to him like he should him. Maybe his feelings towards Sebastian would grow with time and he would fall in love with him.

Suddenly Blaine's heart skipped a beat as an image of him and Sebastian doing all of these fantastic things together popped up in his mind. He shook his head trying to get rid of it but there was no use. Blaine quietly raised to his feet and left Robert's bedroom heading for the bathroom.

Once he was locked inside Blaine stripped and stepped into the shower. He turned the top on and almost jumped as the cold water hit his back. That was good though. He needed to sober up and not think of Sebastian in that way. They were good as best friends and that was all they would ever be. There was no point in starting something that could possibly ruin what they already had.

When Blaine was freezing cold he dried himself off, put on his pajamas and quickly walked into his own bedroom as quickly as he could not wanting to bump into Sebastian and see his face again. Inside, he jumped under the covers and wrapped himself in a warm duvet. He closed his eyes shut and tried to fall asleep but there was no use.

A pair of green eyes kept fogging his mind and making it impossible to think straight. Maybe he would fall in love with Sebastian but it didn't mean that they would have a happy ever after. Blaine had doubts if such thing even existed. When he eventually fell into sleep he dreamed about both Sebastian and Kurt.

* * *

Blaine had realized that despite the fact that being a teacher wasn't exactly his dream job he loved it anyway. Even though sometimes it was difficult to make children focus on what he was saying to them it was still a pleasure to make some of them realize that music was what they loved. Luckily Robert went to a different school which meant that he wasn't one of Blaine's students and other kids didn't make fun of him because of that.

That day though Blaine couldn't focus on anything. His mind kept coming back to Sebastian. He seriously didn't know what to think of all of this anymore. The rational part of his mind kept telling him that rejecting Sebastian was the best thing to do but the more naïve part kept shaking him and shouting to finally let himself take a risk and actually be happy for once in his life.

As he ate his lunch in the teacher's lounge and his coworkers kept joking around him his mind was miles away. Blaine remembered his mother's last words that he should go for his own happiness. He also remembered Quinn's words about good things coming out of bad ideas. And yet, he still didn't think that getting together with Sebastian was the right thing to do.

Other teachers seemed to notice that there was something wrong with him but luckily they didn't decide to question him about it. Blaine needed to figure it out on his own and he knew that no one could help him with it. Because at the end of the day it was his life and his choice.

When Blaine picked up Robert from school the boy started telling him once again how much he disliked Mary and yet didn't do anything about it. Blaine didn't have the heart to listen to him though. He could barely focus on the road.

Once they entered the apartment Blaine was relieved to find out that Sebastian was still at work. He knew that sooner or later he would be forced to talk to him but for now he needed to be alone with his thoughts.

When Sebastian eventually returned home they didn't speak much. They ate the dinner together letting Robert carry the conversation. Blaine could feel Sebastian's eyes on him but his gaze was fixed on the food in front of him. "Maybe we could watch a movie together or something?" Sebastian asked when Robert had gone to sleep and they were left alone in the living room after playing board games with the boy.

"Ugh…I need to prepare something for school for tomorrow." Blaine knew that his explanation was lame and he could see that Sebastian was aware of the fact that it was a lie but the taller man nodded his head anyway smiling sadly.

"Sure. I'll watch it on my own then."

Blaine exited the living room and slowly walked into his own bedroom. Once he was inside he leaned against the closed door and looked at the room all bathed in darkness. He laid down on his bed and stared at the ceiling. He thought about everything one more time and before he realized it was almost midnight.

He felt too lazy to take a shower so he just changed into his pajamas and laid back down in bed. Blaine closed his eyes in hopes of falling asleep but the feelings inside of him made it once again difficult. The prospect of them becoming an item was wonderful but still, the rational part of his brain kept saying that…

"Oh, fuck it." Blaine said out loud reopening his eyes. He sat up straight on the bed and switched on the light. Sitting there and looking around the room Blaine thought about how much his life had improved since he reunited with Sebastian. If it wasn't for him he would be probably still in Ohio moping around and wasting his life.

Maybe it was time to finally let go of his fears and begin taking risks. Blaine raised to his feet and ran out of the room not even caring that it could possibly wake Robert up. He ran through the hallway until he reached Sebastian's bedroom. He swung the door open quite loudly but then he stood in the doorframe for a few minutes just looking at the shape breathing steadily on the bed. Blaine couldn't believe that he was really going to do this but he was done with playing safe.

Perhaps he was going to crash and die but beginning something with Sebastian could also be an amazing adventure. Blaine wasn't going to find out unless he tried it for himself. Slowly and with a racing heart Blaine approached the bed and shook Sebastian's shoulder.

The taller man was motionless for a few seconds but then he blinked his green eyes open and looked up at Blaine sleepily. "What do you want?" He asked angrily and closed his eyes again.

"I want to say yes." Blaine replied with a shaky smile.

"What? You want to say yes to what?" Sebastian asked once again with his eyes half open.

"I want to actually try being with you." Blaine said to which Sebastian opened his eyes fully and stared at him open-mouthed. "We might kill each other at the end but I don't really care anymore. I promised my mother that I would go after my happiness and if you're going to make me happy…then so be it."

Sebastian just stared at him for a moment until a familiar smirk appeared on his face. "Could you repeat, Blaine? I didn't quite catch that."

Blaine rolled his eyes but smiled as well. "I want to be with you."

"No." Sebastian said still grinning like a fool.

"What?" Blaine questioned feeling his heart drop.

Sebastian laughed. "I said no."

"What?" Blaine repeated. "Why?"

"Because you don't get to win me back so easily." Sebastian said closing his eyes once again.

"What? What do you want me to do then?" Blaine questioned raising his eyebrows in confusion.

"Prove your affection for me." The taller man said opening his eyes.

"How?" Blaine asked getting frustrated.

"Sing for me." Sebastian said sitting straight on his bed. "I've prepared myself for this possibility."

"You've got to be kidding me. It's almost midnight. We're going to wake everyone up." Blaine said.

"No, we're not because the song I have for you is not that loud. Follow me." Sebastian raised to his feet and left the bedroom. Blaine, dumbfounded followed him into the living room to find him setting something up on his laptop. "We're going to wake Robert up."

"So what? Maybe he actually should see this." Sebastian said looking up at Blaine. "Come here." Blaine approached the laptop and looked at the screen. "This is what you are going to sing for me and then maybe I'll accept your advances."

"Really? You want me to sing this?"

"Yep." Sebastian sat down on the sofa grinning like a maniac. "Don't keep me waiting for too long because I might change my mind."

"God, this is ridiculous." Blaine said but pushed down the play button on the displayed video anyway.

Soon the quiet music filled the room and Blaine prepared himself to sing.

 _I'm so glad you made time to see me.  
How's life? Tell me how's your family?  
I haven't seen them in a while.  
You've been good, busier than ever,  
We small talk, work and the weather,  
Your guard is up and I know why.  
Because the last time you saw me  
Is still burned in the back of your mind,  
You gave me roses and I left them there to die._

Blaine sang the first few verses making a sad face and acting as if he really meant all of it. He did mean most it but it was so damn silly that he had trouble keeping a straight face while Sebastian looked like he was having way too much fun.

 _So this is me swallowing my pride,  
Standing in front of you saying, "I'm sorry for that night,"  
And I go back to December all the time.  
It turns out freedom ain't nothing but missing you.  
Wishing I'd realized what I had when you were mine.  
I'd go back to December, turn around and make it all right.  
I go back to December all the time._

Singing the next part Blaine gave his whole heart into it knowing how much he had hurt Sebastian. Maybe it wasn't exactly his fault, back then he really wasn't ready for a relationship but now he really felt sorry for not fixing things between them right there and then.

 _These days I haven't been sleeping,  
Staying up, playing back myself leavin'.  
When your birthday passed and I didn't call.  
And I think about summer, all the beautiful times,  
I watched you laughing from the passenger side.  
Realized I loved you in the fall._

 _And then the cold came, the dark days when fear crept into my mind_  
 _You gave me all your love and all I gave you was "Goodbye"._

 _So this is me swallowing my pride_  
 _Standing in front of you saying, "I'm sorry for that night."_  
 _And I go back to December all the time._  
 _It turns out freedom ain't nothing but missing you,_  
 _Wishing I'd realized what I had when you were mine._  
 _I'd go back to December, turn around and change my own mind_  
 _I go back to December all the time_

As predicted Robert emerged from his bedroom and entered the living room looking more adorable than ever. His curls were sticking in every possible direction and he kept rubbing his eyes with his hands. Blaine didn't stop though, hoping that Robert's emergence wouldn't disturb his "performance".

 _I miss your tanned skin, your sweet smile,  
So good to me, so right  
And how you held me in your arms that September night  
The first time you ever saw me cry._

 _Maybe this is wishful thinking,_  
 _Probably mindless dreaming,_  
 _But if we loved again, I swear I'd love you right._

 _I'd go back in time and change it but I can't.  
So if the chain is on your door I understand._

Empathizing with the character he was playing but also reflecting his own feelings while having a little fun as well Blaine approached Sebastian and actually kneeled in front of him. Sebastian looked a little surprised but still pleased. Blaine was having a really hard time trying not to burst into laughter.

 _But this is me swallowing my pride  
Standing in front of you saying, "I'm sorry for that night."  
And I go back to December...  
It turns out freedom ain't nothing but missing you,  
Wishing I'd realized what I had when you were mine.  
I'd go back to December, turn around and make it all right.  
I'd go back to December, turn around and change my own mind_

 _I go back to December all the time._  
 _All the time._

When the song was over Blaine raised to his feet and bowed dramatically. It seemed like Robert liked it as he started clapping his hands and shouting for his dad to sing another song. Blaine looked over at Sebastian with a smile. The other man returned the smile and stood up staring into Robert's eyes. "Go to your room, Robert and I will take you tomorrow to the zoo." Sebastian said glancing at Blaine's son.

The little didn't need to be told twice. With a huge grin attached to his face he basically ran out of the living room. Once they were alone Sebastian wrapped his arms around Blaine's body and whispered. "Finally." Then he kissed Blaine stealing his breath away.

* * *

"I have news!" Blaine said not even trying to hide his excitement. Kurt raised his eyebrows in surprise but smiled prompting the other man to continue. Blaine adjusted his position on the bed reading himself to tell Kurt about Sebastian. "Me and Sebastian…we started dating."

Blaine expected Kurt to grin broadly and say how happy for his friend he felt. Instead he just stared at Blaine for a few moments in complete silence not even moving, only blinking his eyes from time to time. He didn't look so carefree anymore. "What?" He finally asked.

And then it occurred to Blaine. Finding out that Blaine and Sebastian were dating had to be weird for Kurt because of his past relationship with Blaine's current boyfriend. "It's not going to be weird now, right?" When Kurt didn't answer Blaine added. "Because of his past relationship with Sebastian?"

And then it seemed like Kurt finally snapped out of his trance as he shook his head and smiled at Blaine. "No. Of course not. I guess I just wasn't expecting to hear something like that…it's not bad. I'm not mad or anything. But you're right. It is pretty weird."

Blaine laughed. "I'm so glad this isn't going to change anything between us." He said. "God, I can't believe that I've never been in a serious relationship before. I really hope it'll work out, you know? I would be really devastated if it ended our friendship."

"I'm happy for you, Blaine." Kurt said with a small smile. Something seemed off though. He didn't look like he meant what he was saying but Blaine concluded that it was probably because he was still shocked. "You deserve to be happy."

"And how is it going with you and Adam?" Blaine asked not wanting the whole conversation to be about him.

Kurt's smile widened. "It is fine…I mean it's perfect. I've never been more happy in my life. I think it's going to be something serious."

Talking through Skype was not the best form of communication. The screen was a bit blurred so it was extremely difficult to see all the emotions playing on someone's face. Maybe it was because Blaine was too blinded by his own happiness and he didn't want to see Kurt's sadness but when the taller man shed a lonely tear Blaine didn't notice and just carried on with the conversation thinking that for once everything in both of their lives was going into the right direction.


	20. Chapter 19

**A/N: The song used in this chapter is _You Can't Stop The Beat_ from _Hairspray._ All rights belong to its creators.**

 **Thank you so much for your nice reviews! They always put a smile on my face :) It's the best motivator.**

* * *

 **March, 2020**

* * *

"When I was little I actually wanted to live in a toy shop." Blaine said from his spot on the floor. He took a sip of his wine and carried on. "Once when we were shopping with my mother I hid in a huge doll house hoping that she was not going to find me."

Sebastian laughed. "That's lame." He also took a sip of his wine and licked his lips looking at Blaine suggestively. "When I was little my biggest dream was to go to work with my father."

"That's just weird." Blaine pointed out resting his head on Sebastian's shoulder. "Why?"

"Wearing his suit he just looked so adult and serious. I thought that maybe if I went with him I would turn into an adult or something like that." He chuckled resting his head against Blaine's.

They just sat like that in silence listening to each other's breathing. "We should get a puppy." Blaine suddenly blurted out.

"What? Definitely not." Sebastian instantly said. "End of discussion. If you kiss me nicely now I might actually forget that you even mentioned something so absurd."

"Why are you so against dogs?" Blaine asked. "Robert would have someone to play with and I really wanted to have an adorable little puppy when I was a child."

"Robert have friends to play with. He also has us and I'm pretty confident that he doesn't need an animal to keep him company." Sebastian pulled away a little so that he could look Blaine straight in the eyes. "Besides adorable little puppies usually grow into huge hairy beasts. Do you have any idea how much of a mess can a dog cause? Look at these panels. They're beautiful. Would you like to see them scratched? I don't think so."

Blaine laughed again. "You're so damn uptight sometimes."

Sebastian rolled his eyes in fake annoyance. "I'm uptight? I'm not uptight. I just don't want my beloved apartment to turn into a mess. I worked hard for it."

"No, you didn't." Blaine pointed out. "You have it from your father."

Sebastian groaned. "Well, there might be some truth to that but I do work hard for this apartment. We both are. So I really don't want to see it ruined by some stupid dog."

"Why do you have to be stubborn all the time?" Blaine asked. "I love puppies. They're so cute and enthusiastic all the time."

"You're like a puppy." Sebastian said with a smile and leaned forward to give Blaine a kiss. When their lips met Blaine happily returned it smiling into the kiss. "My puppy."

Blaine laughed. "If I knew that becoming my boyfriend would turn you into this cheesy idiot I would have never agreed to that."

"Oh, come on. You knew what you were getting himself into from the very beginning." Sebastian said pressing a kiss to the top of Blaine's nose.

"No, I didn't." Blaine said. Just as he was about to lean forward and kiss him again they heard the doorbell ring. They both looked at each other in surprise. "It's almost nine PM. We're not expecting anyone, are we?"

Sebastian shook his head. "Whoever it is it'd better be something important." Sebastian said standing up with a sigh. Blaine followed him into the hallway and watched as he unlocked the door. When Blaine saw who was standing on the other side of the door however he thought he was hallucinating from drinking one glass of wine too much. "Kurt? What are you doing here?" Sebastian asked with his brows furrowed. He didn't look happy upon seeing his friend at all.

Kurt was standing there with a suitcase in one hand and his cell phone in the other. He had a careful smile on his face but he also looked excited and full of hope. His hair wasn't exactly styled and maybe not even combed and overall the man looked tired and disheveled. "Hi." He greeted the two of them. "I know it's a bit unexpected but I just couldn't stop myself from surprising the two of you."

A huge grin made its way onto Blaine's face as his gaze travelled up and down Kurt's body. He looked so much different and yet somehow still exactly the same. Without even waiting for Kurt to enter the apartment Blaine surged forward and wrapped Kurt into a tight hug. "Oh God!" Blaine exclaimed happily breathing in Kurt's smell which now mostly consisted of sweat. "I can't believe you're really here. It's been way too long. We can't do that to each other."

"I know, Blaine." Kurt said also wrapping his arms around his friend's body. He rested his head on top of Blaine's shoulder and for a moment they just stood there like that not even caring that Sebastian was staring at them. "I am so happy that I could come here. I really hope it's not a problem."

"Not at all." Sebastian replied before Blaine could say anything. "I've missed you, Kurt."

The blue-eyed man finally pulled away from Blaine and instead let Sebastian wrap him in a long and tight embrace. So many feelings were going though Blaine's body in that moment that at some point tears began forming in his eyes but before it could all get too emotional he composed himself and brought Kurt's suitcase into the apartment.

Once Kurt and Sebastian stopped hugging Kurt looked around the hallway, looking quite impressed. "Wow. The apartment looks like out of a movie."

"Yeah, I know." Sebastian said. "It's really nice."

"Wow. I still can't believe that you're really here." Blaine said again staring at Kurt as if he was some kind of statue. "I feared that living on two different continents would mean that we would never see each other again.

Kurt laughed shortly but there was also sadness hiding in his blue eyes. "I would never let that happen, Blaine." He then looked at Sebastian. "You two are my best friends in the whole world. I miss you every single day and I...well, maybe it sounds a bit cheesy and stupid but I felt like I would go crazy without seeing you for another day." He paused and Blaine noticed tears forming in his eyes. "Also, I have news that I wanted to share with you. I'm only staying for the weekend though. I couldn't afford to take more than two days off."

"What is it?" Blaine asked curiously, not sure if he was more scared or excited at the prospect of Kurt having something important for them to know. Because what if it was something that would pull them apart even more?

Kurt opened his mouth as to answer but before he could do it Sebastian spoke up moving a little closer to Blaine and grabbing his hand. In the corner of his eye Blaine noticed Kurt glance at their joined hands. "I think Kurt's tired after his flight. We should let him rest. We can surely talk about it tomorrow."

"No, no. I'm fine." Kurt said with a smile.

"Don't try to fool us, Kurt." Sebastian said and even though his voice was warm and kind it was also firm. "We know you better than anyone else after all. I'll show you the guest room and the bathroom." Then he turned to Blaine. "Could you clean up the mess in the living room?"

"Sure." Blaine answered, a bit upset.

"Thanks, babe." Sebastian said pecking him on the lips shortly. Then he took Kurt's suitcase and let the blue-eyed man into the guest room. Before Kurt entered the room though he looked over his shoulder and sent Blaine a look that the other man couldn't quite decipher. His eyes were full of various emotions: hope, fear but also regret and joy.

Blaine walked back into the living room, took the glasses into the kitchen and washed them before being joined by Sebastian. "He should have called us." The green-eyed man said looking conflicted.

"Aren't you happy to see Kurt?" Blaine asked leaning against the cupboard.

Sebastian shrugged. "Well, I had different plans for this weekend involving just you and me, You know…since Robert is going tomorrow to a birthday party we could use this time to…you know…to have sex, essentially."

Blaine sighed. "You're going to work anyway."

"But later I'm free."

"You know what? I'm happy. And you're just being childish." Blaine said. "I'm honestly happy that I'll be able to spend some much needed time with my best friend. I miss him every day. Don't you? I know that your history is a bit complicated but I thought it was all behind you. Weren't you the one telling me a few years ago that it didn't matter to you anymore because Kurt's your friend?"

Sebastian looked away. "Well, yes…" He sighed. "I just…I don't like being surprised."

Blaine smiled slightly. "And yet you keep surprising people yourself."

Sebastian smirked walking over to Blaine and cupping his face in his hands. "I'm a hypocrite." Then he kissed Blaine softly. "But I'm fine with it."

* * *

Blaine couldn't sleep that night. While Sebastian was snoring softly beside him with his arm draped over Blaine's body he kept turning and tossing in bed with no prospect of getting sleep anytime soon. He was just too excited for the next day, Blaine supposed.

Thinking that maybe a glass of cold water would somehow calm him down Blaine carefully stood up from the bed and exited the bedroom. Once he noticed that the lights in the kitchen were switched on a huge grin appeared on his face. When Blaine entered the kitchen surely he saw Kurt sitting by the table with a cup of tea in front of him. His eyes were glued to the cell phone in his hands as he typed something.

Eventually he looked up and noticed Blaine standing in front of him. Kurt returned his smile and put the cell phone away. "Hi." Kurt greeted him softly, as if speaking any louder would make the night end too early. "Trouble with sleeping?"

"Pretty much." Blaine said sitting down on a chair beside Kurt and forgetting all about the water. "What about you? Aren't you tired from such a long time spent on a plane?"

"Not really." Kurt said shrugging. "I was sleeping so I don't feel that tired now but since Sebastian was so set on getting me to sleep I thought it was kind of cute so I just went to bed anyway." He chuckled. "I was just texting Adam to let him know how incredibly fantastic your apartment is." He said gesturing at his cell phone.

Blaine laughed. "Yeah, it's pretty awesome." He paused for a moment to just look at Kurt and take all of him in. "I still can't believe that you're really here, right beside me without the computer screen keeping us apart."

Kurt's soft smile turned into a sad one. "Me neither, Blaine. Trust me." It was clear that the other man was trying really hard to keep it together but his eyes became glassy anyway. "When I was in high school I thought that we would live together…and now we're so far from each other. I can't believe it."

Blaine had to look away because he knew that if he kept gazing at his best friend he would break down and he didn't want to destroy the moment they had. "I know." He said at last. "I wish there was something we could do to change it."

"Blaine…I don't know if I should be asking you this but…" Kurt made a pause looking down at the cup of tea that he hadn't touched since Blaine appeared. "…after your mother died…why didn't you decide to fly to London…to me?"

Blaine didn't really have an answer to that. "Honestly? I'm not exactly sure." He said. "Maybe that was just because Sebastian was with me right when I needed him. Maybe I was afraid of going to a completely different country…I don't really know."

Kurt nodded his head slowly. "I guess that's understandable." He said sadly. "I mean…at the end something good came out of it, right? You fell in love."

"Yeah, you're right." Blaine said but he quickly realized that it didn't sound convincing at all. He found himself wondering what would have happened if instead of moving to Canada with Sebastian he moved to London. Would he be happy now? His heart skipped a beat at the prospect of the possibility of Kurt falling in love with him instead of Sebastian.

Blaine quickly dismissed these thoughts though knowing that they were wrong. He _was_ happy with Sebastian. Finally he loved someone and that person loved him back just as much. There was no point in making speculations. Kurt was his past. Yes, Blaine still loved him to death but this was not the kind of feeling he had for Sebastian. Kurt had been nothing more than a fantasy that Blaine had fallen in love with. Now it was over and all the feelings were gone.

"Isn't if a bit funny how I was with Sebastian too once?" Kurt asked laughing a bit but Blaine could see that the laugh was fake. Something was definitely troubling his friend but Blaine just couldn't put his finger on it.

"It's kind of weird actually how we keep everything in our little circle of friends." Blaine said laughing as well. Then, seeing that Kurt still didn't seem to be in a mood for joking and his laughs were all fake Blaine decided to finally ask about it. "Is something wrong, Kurt? You are being weird."

Kurt smiled at him slightly. "Everything's perfectly fine. Maybe I'm actually getting tired?"

"Are you sure?" Blaine asked skeptically. "Does this have something to do with what you're supposed to tell us tomorrow?"

"It's really nothing, Blaine." Kurt said. He reached out his hand across the table and covered Blaine's with his. A very nice warmth filled Blaine's body when their hands touched and he leaned into the sensation. "What are we going to do tomorrow? Do you have any plans?" Kurt asked after a moment.

Blaine shrugged. "Not really. Sebastian's working and Rob has been invited to a birthday party. I just have to drive him to his friend's house. Other than that I'm free. We can do whatever you want."

Kurt smiled softly. "That sounds nice. You could show me the city…but we could also do it on Sunday. Maybe tomorrow we could just chill and relax? We could watch some movies and just talk? Like the old times?"

"I'd love that." Blaine said with a big grin on his face. Maybe this moment of happiness wouldn't last forever but at least they could enjoy being together for now.

* * *

"I can't believe it's been so long since I last saw him." Kurt said softly with his eyes wide open, as if in amazement. His gaze was fixed on Robert who was slowly eating his breakfast. Blaine smiled sadly as he packed Robert's small backpack. The little boy didn't seem to mind Kurt's presence since he clearly remembered his dad's friend. If not from meeting him in person then definitely from online video chats.

"He grows really fast. It's a bit overwhelming." Robert finished his cereal and looked up at Blaine expectantly. "Are you ready to go, buddy?" Blaine asked his son with a smile.

"Yes!" Robert said cheerfully looking as if he was going to explode.

Blaine chuckled as he swung Robert's backup over one of his shoulders. "Alright. Say bye to uncle Kurt and we'll go." The little boy instantly raised to his feet and approached Kurt before wrapping his arms around the man's shoulder. Kurt looked a bit caught off guard by the sudden hug but he returned it anyway looking like he really enjoyed having the little boy in his arms.

"Have fun, kid." Kurt said when Robert pulled away and without saying anything ran into the hallway.

Blaine shook his head with a smile and then turned to his best friend. "Will you be alright?" Blaine asked.

"I'm a big boy." Kurt replied. "I guess I will be fine for half an hour."

"Okay. See you in a few." Blaine said and exited the kitchen.

As he drove to the city in Sebastian's car he had to keep looking into the review mirror to remind himself that there was a young child sitting in the back seat which meant that he couldn't break any speed limit. Blaine really wanted though because he wanted to get back into the apartment as quickly as he could. It wasn't because he thought that Kurt was going to feel lonely without him but because _he_ felt lonely without Kurt.

"Is Kurt your boyfriend?" Robert suddenly asked.

Blaine's eyes widened and his heart skipped a beat. "What? No, of course not. Sebastian's my boyfriend. Why would you even think that?"

Blaine looked at his son into the review window to see him furrow his eyebrows. "Don't you love Kurt?"

"Well, I do love Kurt but there are many different kinds of love." Blaine said. "Like…I love Sebastian in one way and I love you in a different way. Do you understand?"

The boy nodded his head slowly. "Does it mean that you love Kurt like you love me?"

"Well, not really." Blaine said hopelessly, not really knowing how to explain it all to his son. "But it's similar." He said at last hoping that Robert was not going to ask another question.

Luckily a few minutes later they reached their destination and upon seeing Mary and his other friends playing in the front yard he instantly unbuckled himself and got out of the car to meet them. Blaine made a polite small talk with Mary's parents before heading back from the outskirts into the city centre.

With a spring in his step Blaine covered the distance between the parking lot and his block of flats. He took the elevator and quickly entered the apartment as his heart seemingly tried to escape from his chest judging by the rate at which it was beating. He found Kurt still sitting at the kitchen table with his cell phone in his hands and concentration written all over his face.

"Are you texting Adam again?" Blaine asked.

Kurt looked up at him for a second before lowering his gaze again and fixing it back at the screen of his phone. "Yep. As you can imagine he's not exactly happy about my spontaneous trip." He paused for a moment putting his cell phone on the table and looking back at Blaine. "I have to say that I'm not really surprised. If I were him I would be probably freaking out as well. Because technically I'm visiting my ex."

"Yes, you are." Blaine said walking over to him with a smile. "But above all you are visiting your best friend in the whole world and I really hope you know I'm talking about myself."

Kurt chuckled shaking his head. "Of course I do."

"Sebastian was only your high school mistake and Adam really should now that these rarely turn into anything good." Blaine said.

Kurt laughed again. "I would like to remind you that my high school mistake is currently your boyfriend."

"Yes, that's because he's not _mine_ high school mistake. We are in a mature relationship." Blaine said with a smile.

"Whatever you say." Kurt said lightly. "Alright, are we going to watch anything or not?" He asked raising up to his feet.

"Of course we are. Follow me." Blaine said and walked into the living room. "We could order pizza later. Sebastian's got a big project today and he should be home only about nine PM. Then maybe you can finally share the news with us."

"Yeah, sure." Kurt said as Blaine started going through his collection of DVDs. "He works a lot, doesn't he?"

"He does." Blaine said sadly. "It sucks but there isn't really much he can do about it. His father's tough."

Kurt nodded his head sitting down on the sofa. "And when is Robert coming back?"

"Tomorrow." Blaine said. "He's going to spend the night there. It's his first night without me…and he's excited about it. God, I feel old."

Kurt laughed his melodic laugh. "What movies do you have there?"

"Umm…maybe _The Curious Case of Benjamin Button_?" Blaine asked from his spot on the floor by the TV set.

"Nah, I was thinking about some kind of musical." Kurt said with a nostalgic smile. "That way it would like back in high school. Do you have something like that in there?" He asked.

Blaine looked over his shoulder to fix his gaze on Kurt. "Are you kidding me? Of course I do. What do you want to watch then?"

"Maybe _Hairspray_?" Kurt asked shyly.

"But from what I know you don't like it." Blaine pointed out.

"But I know how much you love it." Kurt said softly.

"Okay, then. Let's watch it." Blaine put the disc into the DVD player and sat down on the sofa beside Kurt.

They watched it without saying anything to each other, completely focused on the movie, only humming along quietly to the songs. It wasn't an awkward silence. It was a nice one. They could just relax together with no need to say anything.

When Blaine closed his eyes he could almost pretend that they were seventeen years old again. That they were in his bedroom, all spread out on his body, annoying each other to death and fighting over what musical was the best. He could almost see his mother bringing them snacks into the room and begging them to keep it down since she wanted to watch her favorite TV show. Sometimes they would even get up and start dancing and singing together.

Thinking about his mother and everything else he had lost and would probably never get back Blaine felt tears well up in his eyes. When he opened them and saw Kurt with a small smile plastered to his face he almost lost it. He wanted to have all of the people that he wanted by his side. He wanted to have fun with them like there was no tomorrow. He wanted to sing and dance again like he was a careless teenager with no worries.

When Blaine realized that the last song of the musical was about to start he thought that it could be a chance to relieve these memories. It would never be like it used to be before but maybe they could at least come close to it. So without much thinking Blaine stood up from the sofa and started dancing as if he was a dumb kid again.

"It's one of my favorite songs of all time." Blaine said upon seeing a weird look on Kurt's face.

"What are you doing?" Kurt asked with judgment written all over his face which made Blaine laugh a bit.

Before Blaine got a chance to answer the song began and he had no other choice than start singing.

 _You can't stop an avalanche as it races down the hill_

 _You can try to stop the seasons girl but you know you never will_

"Blaine, stop! This is ridiculous. Someone's going to call the police."

 _And you can try to stop my dancin' feet  
But I just cannot stand still_

Blaine turned the volume up and started singing even louder finally feeling like he was a teenager again. Kurt was still looking at him with judgment but Blaine knew that deep down he was dying to join him.

 _Cause the world keeps spinnin'  
Round and round  
And my heart's keeping time_

Blaine placed his hand over his heart in an overdramatic gesture and closed his eyes in the cheesiest of ways while shaking his hips.

 _To the speed of sound  
I was lost till I heard the drums  
Then I found my way  
Cause you can't stop the beat_

"You are really going to get us into trouble." Kurt said looking both scared and excited. "Please stop."

 _Ever since this old world began  
A woman found out if she shook it  
She could shake up a man  
And so I'm gonna shake and shimmy it  
The best that I can today  
Cause you can't stop  
The motion of the ocean  
Or the sun in the sky  
You can wonder if you wanna  
But I never ask why  
If you try to hold me down  
I'm gonna spit in your eye and say  
That you can't stop the beat!_

Kurt still looked a little hesitant but Blaine ignored it and grabbed his hand before pulling him up to his feet. "Now's your turn." Blaine said with a smile still dancing.

"What?" Kurt asked.

"Sing!" Blaine exclaimed.

Kurt rolled his eyes but slowly started dancing before opening his mouth to sing.

 _You can't stop a river  
As it rushes to the sea  
You can try to stop the hands of time  
But you know it just can't be  
And if they try to stop us Seaweed,  
I'll call the N Double A C P_

They sang the rest of the song dancing and having fun together. At the end Blaine span his best friend a few times and when he accidentally let go the other man swayed, lost his balance and ended up on the floor. Scared that he had hurt Kurt Blaine quickly turned down the volume and fell down on his knees next to Kurt.

"Are you okay?" He asked.

When Kurt turned his face towards Blaine he was laughing silently but it wasn't a normal laugh. It was a hysterical laugh meaning that his whole body was shaking. His eyes were squinted and tears were running down his cheeks. And when Blaine looked at his face which didn't look very pretty in that moment he realized one thing.

His best friend looked so undeniably happy and full of life that it was impossible to look away. There were beautiful sparks dancing in his crystal eyes and his hair was an outstanding mess. Blaine knew that by looking at Kurt even the most depressed person would crack a smile. It felt like the whole world was a better place just because of his laugh.

Blaine realized that he was still in love with his best friend.

He never fell out of it. The feelings had been just buried deep inside so that they wouldn't go in the way but they had always been there.

Blaine wanted to be frozen in that moment forever. He wanted to relive it over and over and stay right there with Kurt until the end of times. "I don't even know why I'm laughing like that." Kurt said breathlessly. "I'm not even drunk."

Unfortunately the moment was over when they heard the sound of the door being open. Before they could register what was going on Sebastian stormed into the room looking so angry that Blaine was a little scared of him. "What the hell do you think you're doing?" He asked looking between Blaine and Kurt. The dark-haired man quickly come into a conclusion that it looked really weird since they were both sitting on the floor, basically laying together. However for some reason they didn't move.

"This is a quiet neighborhood and yet you decide to sing on top of your lungs in the middle of the day." Sebastian said walking over to Blaine. The green-eyed man grabbed his hand and harshly pulled him up to his feet. "As I walked here I was stopped several times by people complaining. Some of them actually wanted to call the police."

"Relax. Nothing happened." Blaine said trying to calm his boyfriend down. "We were just having a little fun."

"Well, couldn't you be a little more quiet?"

Blaine rolled his eyes. "Why are you so damn uptight all the time? You didn't use to be like this." Blaine pointed out.

"Well, maybe I've changed." Sebastian said still holding onto Blaine's arm. "Am I asking for too much? Just don't be so fucking loud, okay? You don't live in your goddamned house anymore."

"I'm sorry, okay?" Blaine said lifting up his hands in surrender. "It was stupid and I just got carried away. That's all. It won't happen again. I promise."

Sebastian sighed looking down at Kurt who was still sitting on the floor but his smile was gone. "How is it that once he appears you go absolutely bat shit crazy?"

Blaine smiled a little and wrapped his arms around Sebastian trying to calm him down somehow. "It's not Kurt's fault. We just watched my favorite musical and it got a little out of hand. Forgive me?"

Sebastian sighed once again wrapping his arms around Blaine's shoulders. "Alright. I guess I shouldn't have blown up like that. I'm sorry too."

They pulled away and Blaine helped Kurt up to his feet. "What are you doing here so early anyway?"

"I managed to convince my father to let me go early so that I could spend some time with the two of you." Sebastian said with a small smile. "I thought that maybe we could show Kurt the city together?"

"Sounds good to me." Kurt said smiling at the couple. "So maybe while you're both here I could tell you the news finally?" Now Kurt sounded excited. His hair was messy and clothes a little wrinkled which made him look absolutely adorable. Blaine looked over at Sebastian and immediately felt guilty for even thinking that.

"Yes, finally." Blaine said not even trying to hide how much both nervous and excited about this he was.

They all sat down on the sofa with Kurt in the middle and waited for him to start speaking. "So even though my job now is to design houses I still keep sketching clothes sometimes if something particularly inspires me." He looked at both Blaine and Sebastian as if building up the climax. "So I was designing a house for one of fashion designers and you know what? Accidentally he saw my sketches and said that I really had a talent."

Blaine's eyes widened. "Wow. Really? See? I told you that you had a talent."

Kurt blushed. "Yeah…but that's not the best part yet. The best part is that he asked me to work for him."

"And what did you say?" Sebastian asked, clearly also interested.

"Of course I said yes!" Kurt exclaimed cheerfully. "How could I say no to one of my biggest dreams? I would have had to be stupid."

"Kurt…" Blaine started seriously making his best friend lock eyes with him. "You deserve it. You deserve to make your dreams come true more than anyone else. I'm so proud to call myself your friend."

"Oh, it's not such a big deal yet." Kurt said even though it was apparent that it _was_ in fact a huge deal for him. "He still might decide that I'm hopeless after all."

"You're not hopeless. Believe me. You're not. You'll do just great." Blaine said hugging Kurt briefly.

The other man grinned. "You really think so?"

"Of course." Sebastian replied instead of Blaine. "You're amazing. It's time for the world to finally pull its head out of its ass and see it!"

Kurt laughed. "Thank you, guys. You're amazing. You always had faith in me."

* * *

That night Blaine didn't sleep as well. But this time it wasn't because he was too excited. Now he felt restless because of the feelings fighting with each other inside of his heart. He was so mad at himself for wishing that it was Kurt every time he looked at Sebastian. And yet he desperately wanted Kurt's arms to be wrapped around his body. He wanted to rest his head on Kurt's chest and listen to his heartbeat.

But it was impossible. Blaine had to do everything in his power to tame the his feelings once again and bury them into his soul so that no one would find them. He couldn't just destroy everything like that. Kurt had a boyfriend. Hell, Blaine had a boyfriend. They were all happy.

All expect for Blaine.


	21. Chapter 20

**April, 2020**

* * *

Sebastian pressed his lips carefully to Blaine's cheek trying not to wake him up. He was a little jealous that his boyfriend didn't have to wake up for another few hours since his students were supposed to go on a school trip that day but Blaine looked so adorable that Sebastian's anger quickly melted away. With one last look at the man spread out next to him he stood up from the bed, took his clothes from the wardrobe and walked into the bathroom. After taking a quick shower Sebastian made himself a cup of dark coffee and something to eat.

Once he was done with that Sebastian entered his office and took some of the papers that he was going to need at work. Then he pulled on his jacket and shoes before exiting the apartment. Sebastian took the elevator and made a small talk with his neighbor along the way who was going to work as well.

In the front hall Sebastian decided to check the mailbox since he was pretty sure they had forgotten to do that the day before. He opened the box, took out a few letters and briefly looked through them. He found there mostly bills but one certain envelope caught his attention. It was addressed to Blaine but the name and address were handwritten which meant it wasn't an official letter but rather something more personal.

Looking closer Sebastian realized that he recognized the writing. It had been a long time since he last saw it but it certainly belonged to Kurt. Sebastian's grip on the paper strengthened. He could only imagine what could be inside.

Sebastian wasn't stupid. He had known that Kurt and Blaine had feelings for each other ever since he saw the two of them kiss in the gay club in Paris. Back then when Kurt was left alone on the dance floor, obviously lost and more than a little confused as to what was going on Sebastian approached him and the boy basically fell into his arms. Somehow one thing led to another and they found themselves with their mouths glued together.

Sebastian liked it. He liked so much that Blaine and Kurt not talking to each other for the next month didn't even bother him that much. Then again at the prom Sebastian took his chance and made the best of it. He thought he was happy and they would be able to make their relationship work. However they were too different to create something that would last for longer.

Everything changed quickly. Sebastian broke up with Kurt. They lost contact altogether.

Until Blaine had a child.

When Sebastian saw him so caring and just downright amazing with Robert he fell in love all over again. But this time with Blaine. He started longing for the trips to Ohio and seeing Blaine face to face. In Vancouver he would be sad all the time just thinking about Blaine. He didn't even feel like making any friends or looking for a boyfriend. But then when he told Blaine about his feelings everything turned out horrible. He started ignoring people that cared about him altogether and getting drunk in some random night clubs with strangers seemed like the easiest way to get by.

Now Sebastian was finally in a relationship with Blaine and it seemed to him like the man really loved him. But seeing Kurt and Blaine looking at each other with so many feelings had changed something in Sebastian. He had become more cautious and scared of what could possibly happen. He had to know for sure what Kurt wanted from his boyfriend.

Without thinking too much more Sebastian tore the envelope open and took out the paper. He immediately started reading it not caring that because of that he could be late for work. Maybe his father was strict but at least Sebastian knew that he would never fire his own son. At least not for something as trivial as being late.

 _Dear, Blaine_

 _I am done fighting off my feelings. I've been doing that for way too many years already. I really hope you've already realized it but if you haven't let me make a confession. I am afraid that if I had to say it face to face I would be too afraid to do it. I love you, Blaine. Not the way a brother loves a brother. Not even the way a friend loves a friend. I love you like you're the best thing that ever happened to me. I love you like you're the only reason why the world's got colors. I love you like you're the only person worth fighting for._

 _I know I am with Adam. And I do love him. But I love you so much more. It's like the love I have for him is the bare minimum while what I feel for you is a mind-blowing sensation. And I know you're not a single either. But are you really happy with him, Blaine? Can you understand each other without words? Would you stick together even with the ocean keeping you apart? Are sure this is how you want to spend the rest of your life? If you are, then so be it. I'll hurt but for as long as you are happy I'll be happy too. But you deserve something better._

 _You deserve someone who loves you with every single beat of his heart, someone who thinks about you constantly, someone who spends every minute of every day just wondering what you're doing, where you are, who you're with, and if you're OK. You need someone who can help you reach your dreams and protect you from your fears. You need someone who will treat you with respect, love every part of you, especially your flaws. You should be with someone who could make you happy, really happy, dancing on air happy._

 _I feel like this is it. Like it's time for the final decision. All or nothing. I can't carry on like that forever. If you don't feel the same, that's okay. I'll settle down with Adam. I'm leaving this up to you. Write back, call me or just ignore it._

 _Love, Kurt_

Sebastian thought he was going to explode. He wanted to tear the paper apart but he stopped himself from doing so knowing that he would need this to remind him every once in a while who he was fighting against and who he was fighting _for_.

Maybe showing Blaine this letter was the right thing to do. Sebastian should trust his boyfriend after all. If his love for Sebastian was really that strong he would turn Kurt down.

But Sebastian wasn't delusional. Maybe it was selfish but he couldn't risk losing Blaine again. Maybe it was unfair, maybe it was even cruel but Sebastian was done playing fair. He just wanted to be happy.

Blaine could never know about this letter.

Sebastian put it into his pocket, took a few calming breaths promising himself to do something extra nice for Blaine that evening and exited the building.

* * *

 **A/N: One part of the letter is taken straight out of the movie**


	22. Chapter 21 PART I

**May, 2021**

* * *

Learning about Kurt's upcoming wedding had been hard. Having a boyfriend was one thing. It wasn't especially hard to get rid of o a boyfriend while wedding was supposed to be for a lifetime. Blaine was aware of the fact that it was his last chance to confess his feelings for his best friend but he knew he couldn't do that. Even though Blaine felt a little guilty about it he still was together with Sebastian. He did love him but he loved Kurt so much more. And yet he didn't want to lose both Kurt and Sebastian by confessing his love and ruining everything.

Deep down Blaine knew that ending things with Sebastian could be the right thing to do but he didn't feel unhappy with him. Maybe it was selfish but Sebastian was good to him and caring. They could go a little crazy sometimes but at the end of the day Blaine had someone to cuddle to. It wasn't perfect but it was as close to it as it could get. Blaine was as happy as he could and it had to be enough.

"Do you really think that going there is such a good idea?" Sebastian asked one evening when they were watching a kids movie together with Robert who was way too preoccupied by the colorful characters on the screen to notice the two of them talking.

"Are you kidding me?" Blaine asked, surprised that Sebastian was even considering not going to Kurt's wedding. "Kurt's our best friend. We need to support him during the most important day of his life." Blaine paused for a moment and smiled a little at his boyfriend while moving closer to his body. "And besides, we could make a romantic getaway out of it. I know Robert's coming with us but I bet we could get someone to babysit him for a day and go see the city. Just the two of us." Blaine said hoping that they really would able to do that. He knew that Kurt's wedding was going to be extremely difficult for him but maybe if he reminded himself just how lucky he was to have Sebastian he would feel a little better.

Sebastian smiled back even though he didn't look that convinced yet. "I don't know." He said. "I have a lot of work."

Blaine rolled his eyes. "But you're allowed to have a day off every once in a while." He paused for a moment searching in Sebastian's eyes for a true reason behind his strange behavior. "What is really going on?" Blaine asked. "Why do you really not want to go to Kurt's wedding?"

It seemed like this was a question that Sebastian didn't really want to answer. He looked away opening and closing his mouth a few times before finally speaking up. "I just...I don't know. I just have a bad feeling about it, I guess."

Blaine laughed a little. "You really have nothing to be worried about, Sebastian. Everything's going to be just fine. We'll both love London. You'll see."

Sebastian smiled at his boyfriend hesitantly and took Blaine's hand into his. "Well, yeah. It might be a great opportunity to let lose for once. I will get drunk off my ass and maybe even cause some disaster or something."

Blaine punched his shoulder playfully. "No, you won't."

Sebastian laughed holding his hands up in surrender. "Geez, I'm just kidding, okay?"

"Well, I certainly hope so."

* * *

The next day while Sebastian was at work Blaine decided to take care of their plane tickets. They had only a week until the wedding and Blaine was a bit ashamed of not buying them earlier and saving some money but they had both been busy during the last few weeks and it kept getting out of their minds.

Blaine's laptop was running slow so he decided to use Sebastian's instead. He walked into his office, sat down at the desk and turned the computer on. He typed in the password and started surfing the internet in search of finding relatively cheap tickets. Unfortunately he didn't have much luck with that so Blaine was forced to book the more expensive ones.

Filling out the information about Sebastian he found out that he needed to check if the man's passport was still valid. Blaine took out his cell phone out of his pants packet wanting to call Sebastian and ask him where the document was but he quickly gave up on this idea remembering how Sebastian had told about an important meeting he was going to have.

With nothing else to do Blaine decided to search for it himself. He went through some documents in their bedroom hoping that Sebastian wouldn't mind but still didn't find anything. Blaine knew he could wait for Sebastian to come back from work but he wasn't sure exactly when that would be and he didn't want to risk the prize going even more up.

Blaine walked back into the office wanting to check the drawers of the desk. He opened the first one but he didn't find anything useful there, although when he tried to open the second one it turned out that it was locked. Growing more and more frustrated with each passing second Blaine started looking for the key but when after fifteen minutes he didn't find it he decided to use force instead. Blaine was well aware of the fact that Sebastian was probably going to kill him for damaging his precious desk but in that moment he really didn't care about it that much.

After a few attempts Blaine managed to break down the drawer. The papers came flying onto the floor creating a big mess. However Blaine smiled in triumph noticing the missing passport among other documents. "There you are." He muttered to himself and reached out to pick it up. Although when Blaine took a closer look in the corner of his eye he noticed his name written on one of the papers. Intrigued he picked it up to see exactly what that was.

When Blaine started reading his blood turned freezing cold.

 _Dear, Blaine_

 _I am done fighting off my feelings. I've been doing that for way too many years already. I really hope you've already realized it but if you haven't let me make a confession. I am afraid that if I had to say it face to face I would be too afraid to do it. I love you, Blaine. Not the way a brother loves a brother. Not even the way a friend loves a friend. I love you like you're the best thing that ever happened to me. I love you like you're the only reason why the world's got colors. I love you like you're the only person worth fighting for._

 _I know I am with Adam. And I do love him. But I love you so much more. It's like the love I have for him is the bare minimum while what I feel for you is a mind-blowing sensation. And I know you're not a single either. But are you really happy with him, Blaine? Can you understand each other without words? Would you stick together even with the ocean keeping you apart? Are sure this is how you want to spend the rest of your life? If you are, then so be it. I'll hurt but for as long as you are happy I'll be happy too. But you deserve something better._

 _You deserve someone who loves you with every single beat of his heart, someone who thinks about you constantly, someone who spends every minute of every day just wondering what you're doing, where you are, who you're with, and if you're OK. You need someone who can help you reach your dreams and protect you from your fears. You need someone who will treat you with respect, love every part of you, especially your flaws. You should be with someone who could make you happy, really happy, dancing on air happy._

 _I feel like this is it. Like it's time for the final decision. All or nothing. I can't carry on like that forever. If you don't feel the same, that's okay. I'll settle down with Adam. I'm leaving this up to you. Write back, call me or just ignore it._

 _Love, Kurt_

Blaine's hands were trembling and his heart was racing painfully in his chest. He didn't understand. Why had he never seen this before? Without thinking he sat back down at the desk and logged onto his Facebook account not quite able to believe what was really happening. He needed to talk to Kurt about it. How come the other man had confessed his love to him and yet was getting married in a week? Blaine really wanted to believe that it was true, that one word from him could change everything but it seemed to be way too wonderful to be real.

Blaine almost screamed in joy when he noticed that Kurt was online. He immediately started typing his massage, afraid that if he waited for a moment longer he would chicken out and waste what could be his last chance to win the love of his life.

Blaine: _We need to talk ASAP_

Kurt: _I don't think you want to talk to me_

"What?" Blaine muttered to himself in confusion.

Blaine: _Can we talk through Skype? I really need to ask you about something_

Kurt: _If you insist on it_

Blaine didn't think too much into Kurt's enigmatic words and instead logged into his Skype account and waited for a few moments until Kurt became active. Once they connected Blaine realized what he had meant.

On the other side of the screen was sitting a handsome man with blue eyes and blond hair. It was definitely not his best friend. "Hello, Blaine." Adam greeted him with a charming smile showing all of his perfect white teeth. "I don't believe we've been introduced properly yet. Strange, huh? I'm getting married to your best friend in a week and we don't even know each other."

"Yes, strange." Blaine quickly admitted with no intention in actually getting to know this man. "Do you know where Kurt is?" He asked, desperately needing to see his best friend and sort everything out.

"He's out jogging." Adam said with a smile. "He wants to look his best during the wedding. We both do. He should be home soon though." He paused for a moment inspecting Blaine's face. "But maybe I could help you with something?"

"Umm…I don't think so." Blaine said. Luckily before it could get any more awkward he saw someone walk into the room in which Adam currently was. It quickly turned out that it was Kurt. The man was wearing an oversized jumper and yoga pants. His hair was a little messy, his cheeks slightly flushed and his skin a bit sweaty. Blaine had to stop himself from saying out loud how adorable his best friend looked.

"Hey, honey." Kurt greeted Adam leaning down to give him a quick peck on the lips. When he looked at the computer screen he smiled brightly. "Hi, Blaine. I see you two are getting to know each other before the wedding?"

"You could say that." Adam said giving Blaine an odd look. "It seems like Blaine here wants to talk to you about something."

Kurt looked back at the screen, straight into Blaine's eyes. "Sure. What is it?" Before Blaine could open his mouth and somehow try to get rid of Adam Kurt started speaking again. "Oh, and while I still have that in mind…I know it's on a very short notice but I need to ask you to do something for me. Well, for both of us, actually."

"Umm…what is it?" Blaine asked, just waiting for an opportunity to get rid of Adam.

Kurt and Adam looked at each other and smiled dreamily. Then Blaine's best friend looked back at him. "Since Amanda is going to give the wedding speech for us, we were thinking that maybe you could play and sing for our first dance?" An excited smile was playing on Kurt's lips as he looked at Blaine waiting for his answer in obvious anticipation.

Blaine really wanted to stop this nonsense right then and there. He wanted to declare his love for Kurt and tell him how much he didn't want him to get married but when he looked at the two of them he noticed that they were both obviously happy. Blaine looked down at the letter and silently read a few lines barely stopping himself from crying.

Whatever that was that Kurt was describing in the letter was obviously gone. Currently it seemed like Adam and Kurt were undeniably in love with each other and the letter could have been sent months ago for all Blaine knew. Even though Blaine could feel tears building up in his eyes he smiled at his best friend not wanting to seem like something was wrong. "Of course I will sing for you. It'll be a pleasure. What do you want me to sing?"

"We were considering _Thinking Out Loud_ by Ed Sheeran if you don't mind." Adam said looking so freaking happy that Blaine was grateful that there was a computer screen separating them because he feared that otherwise he would choke him with his bare hands.

"Yes, awesome. I can sing that. Just make sure that there's a piano." Blaine said trying to keep up the façade.

"Thanks, man. You're amazing." Adam said still smiling. "We won't forget that."

"Thank you, Blaine." Kurt said softly. "Really. Thank you so much. Now, what is it that you wanted to talk about?"

"Oh, it's nothing." Blaine said. "I just wanted to ask you guys if there was something that I could help you with."

"I can't wait to see you again." Kurt said. "It's all going to be so amazing."

"Yes, it is." Blaine said, fully aware of the fact that he was losing it. Soon his smile would turn into a frown and he would break down. "I've got to go now. I need to go to the grocery store and buy some things for dinner."

"Sure thing." Kurt said. "See you soon."

"Yeah, see you." Blaine said and quickly shut the laptop close without bothering to properly end the connection. The hot tears immediately started running down his cheeks as his body shook with silent sobs. Blaine couldn't believe that it was really happening again. Another lost chance. Was this ever going to end or for the rest of his life Blaine was going to keep missing Kurt and wishing to turn back in time and change something?

But then while he sat there and cried his heart out something occurred to him. Sebastian must have hidden this letter from him. He must have opened it and after seeing what it was hidden it. The sad tears quickly turned into angry ones making Blaine extremely happy that Robert was at his friend's house at the moment. He felt the inner need to destroy something just like he had been destroyed.

Blaine read the letter a few more times absorbing every single word of it and taking a masochistic kind of pleasure from it. It seemed like Kurt had really deeply loved him once upon a time but because of Sebastian Blaine was finding out about this only now.

Blinded by his own anger Blaine ran out of the office heading for the living room. Once he saw the framed picture of the four smiling teenagers standing on the coffee table, he picked it up and tossed it across the floor watching with pleasure as the glass shattered. Not bothering to clean this up he walked into his old bedroom that he never used anymore, opened the door to the big wardrobe and walked inside not wanting to face the word anymore.

For once he was lucky that it was so huge. Blaine curled into a ball, rested his head on top of his knees and just cried wanting to let all of the bad emotions out. It didn't work though. The emotions were just too overwhelming. They were flowing out of him like an endless river. Once he didn't have any tears left he just sat there silently staring into the darkness and wondering what could have been.

Blaine stayed hidden inside of the spacious wardrobe until he heard Sebastian calling his name. He didn't want to come out and face the person that had destroyed his only chance at being happy with Kurt but he quickly realized that he couldn't stay there forever.

So reluctantly Blaine walked out of the bedroom expecting to hear Sebastian screaming at him for creating such a mess in both his office and the living room but to his surprise he was met with silence.

Knowing where he was probably going to find Sebastian, Blaine walked into his office and surely the man was standing there with his eyes glued to the letter that was still located on his desk. Once he noticed that Blaine was in the room he slowly turned around and locked his sadness-filled eyes with Blaine's. "Do you have something to say to me?" Blaine asked, not really wanting to hear anything.

"I…I didn't want to lose you." Sebastian said quietly. "I knew you would have ran after him immediately."

"What?" Blaine asked, confused.

"Oh, who are you trying to fool, Blaine?" Sebastian raised his voice now looking more angry than sad or sorry. "I've always known about your feelings. Do you think I'm stupid?"

Blaine shook his head. "No...no matter what you still shouldn't have hidden this letter from me."

Sebastian looked both angry and desperate. "What else was I supposed to do then? Do you think I should have let you just run into his arms and leave me? God, I love you so much."

"You have a really weird way of showing it then." Blaine said. "If you really loved me you would have let me be happy."

Sebastian's eyes filled with tears. "If you ever cared about me at least a little bit you wouldn't have been with me knowing that at first given chance you would have gone right back to him." He walked a little closer to Blaine but the other man backed away. "God, I really thought for a while that you were really over him. That you were really falling in love with me. Ever since I saw you kiss that day in Paris I've known you had feelings for him and yet I allowed myself to believe that you were all mine."

Blaine's eyes widened. "Wait…you saw us kiss…you knew that I liked him…and yet you still kissed Kurt."

Sebastian ducked his head. "I was a completely different person back then. I was so selfish."

"You still are." Blaine pointed out angrily. "Fuck, this is so messed up." He paused for a moment and when he looked at Sebastian he felt a really strong urge to kill him. "This means that because of you we didn't end up together. Because if you had been a decent person you would have left him alone."

"Blaine-"

"No." Blaine cut him off. "Tell me when you received this letter."

Blaine-"

"Just tell me."

Sebastian sighed in obvious resignation stretching the back of his neck. "Two weeks after Kurt's visit."

Blaine almost started crying again. It had been more than a year ago, way before Kurt's engagement. "I can't believe this." Blaine laughed hysterically. "You're horrible." He paused for a moment. "I am going to go to Kurt's wedding on my own. You're staying here. And when I come back I'm going to start looking for an apartment. Until then I hope one of my coworkers will be kind enough to take me and Robert in."

Sebastian looked for a moment like he wanted to argue against that but then he just looked away, clearly giving up all of the hope. "I wanted to fight for you…I wanted to do everything in my power to keep you with me…but now I can see that there is no point…you were never truly mine to begin with…not seeing each other…this might be actually a decent idea."

"Yes, it is." Blaine said instantly. "I can't keep living with you. This is just toxic."

They stood in silence for a while just looking at each other. "What about us?" Sebastian asked at last, as if against all odds holding onto the last shred of hope that he had buried deep inside. Blaine could see that his bottom lip was beginning to tremble, he could see the tears building up in his green eyes but he was way too angry at that point to care.

"There is no us anymore, Sebastian." Blaine said remembering all the amazing moments between them. Maybe under different circumstances their relationship could have worked out but they both had destroyed it with their delusions.

* * *

"This is so messed up." Quinn summed up after hearing Blaine's story.

"You don't say." Blaine said leaning his head against the headrest. He was way too emotionally exhausted to cry or be angry anymore. "But I guess I'm not without a fault here. I shouldn't have stayed with Sebastian while I knew that I still loved Kurt."

Quinn smiled sadly moving a little closer to Blaine and leaning her head against his shoulder. "Now I feel like this is also my fault for telling you to get together with Sebastian." The woman said regretfully.

"Don't blame yourself." Blaine rushed to say. "We are both adults. We should have known what we were getting ourselves into. I guess for a moment there I really thought that I was over Kurt. Once he visited us though…everything came back to me…and to him apparently too." He paused for a moment and turned his head smiling slightly at his friend. "Anyway…thank you for agreeing to go with me to Kurt's wedding." Blaine glanced at his son who was snoring softly right beside him. "We would have been lost without you."

Quinn rolled her eyes. "Like I would ever willingly miss something like that." She said. "I'm actually offended by not being invited by Kurt himself."

"Well, it could have been a bit difficult considering the fact that you basically don't talk to each other." Blaine said with a small smile.

"You might have a point there." She said also smiling. "I see you're not afraid of planes anymore, you don't need anyone to cuddle you and say that everything's going to be alright."

Blaine chuckled. "No, I'm not. I actually quite like it now." He paused for a moment, becoming more serious again. "Could you please not tell Kurt anything about me breaking up with Sebastian? I will tell him later but it's his wedding and for now he really needs to focus on what's important to him instead of comforting me."

"Sure." Quinn said running her fingers up and down Blaine's arm. "Are you considering telling him about your feelings?"

"Of course not." Blaine said instantly. "How could I ruin the most important moment of his life?"

"True." Quinn agreed smiling sadly at her friend. "But I think that eventually you should tell him."

"Maybe someday." Blaine said.

A few hours later when the plane landed Blaine and Quinn along with a very sleepy Robert walked through the airport, amazed by the fact that they were so far away from home. Robert seemed a little overwhelmed by everything but also excited. He kept pointing at everything and asking about various things. Blaine had to keep reminding him that even though they were on a different continent, on an island in fact, the people still spoke English even if it sounded a little different.

Soon, among other people, Blaine noticed his best friend waiting for him. As soon as his saw Blaine his whole face lighted up but when his gaze landed on Quinn his eyes went wide and his jaw dropped. Once they finally approached Kurt the man kept staring at his old high school friend with his mouth wide open. "Oh my God. I can't believe that you're really here." He said.

"I am." Quinn said laughing. "Aren't you happy to see me?"

"I'm way more than happy." Kurt said. "But how is this possible?"

"Blaine invited me." Quinn said sending Blaine a look.

Kurt looked over at Blaine and raised his eyebrows in confusion, as if finally registering that Sebastian wasn't there with them. "Wait…where's Sebastian?" He asked looking around, as if expecting the green-eyed man to magically appear.

"He really wanted to come but he unfortunately couldn't." Blaine said trying to sound like he was genuinely sad about it. "There was an emergency at work and he couldn't just leave everything."

"I see." Kurt said nodding his head slowly. "Well, at least I've got the two you." Then his eyes landed on Robert who was curiously looking around. "And you of course, little man."

Robert looked angrily at him. "I am not little anymore!" He said with a pout.

Kurt chuckled. "You're right. You've grown so much that I can hardly believe it." He looked back at Quinn and Blaine and smiled sadly. "It's so nice to have both of you back."

Quinn smiled back and wrapped her arms around Kurt in a hug. Now she looked a bit different than the last time Blaine had seen her. She still had light brown hair but now it was longer. When she pulled away Blaine immediately went in for a hug as well. When he felt Kurt's arms wrap around his body Blaine felt both happy and sad. Happy because he was once again where he belonged and sad because he knew that it was going to end quickly.

* * *

Adam was an interesting man. He was nice, charming and extremely likable but while everyone around seemed to love him Blaine couldn't force himself to like him. It was just too painful to look at him thinking that he had everything Blaine always dreamed of.

Two days before the wedding they all went to see the place where the reception was going to take place. Burt had agreed to take care of Robert for a few hours, way too happy to see again the little boy to say no to Blaine's request so luckily Robert wouldn't break anything.

While Kurt and Adam went to talk over some last minute details with the wedding planner joined by Quinn, Blaine just stood in the middle of the spacious wedding tent and admired everything. There were round tables all across it with white clothes, candles and a lot of flowers on top of them. The ceiling was navy blue and there were small lights resembling the stars. It looked really incredible and Blaine knew that once the candles were lit it would be even more magical.

"It looks awesome, doesn't it?" Blaine heard a familiar voice and turned around to find Amanda staring at him. Blaine looked her up and down. She looked so different from Adam that it was hard to believe that they were related.

"Yes, it does." Blaine admitted even though he wanted to hate this place. "Kurt and Adam are very lucky."

"I think so too." The woman said looking around with a dreamy smile. "It's like out of a fairy tale or something." She fixed her gaze on Blaine as if searching for something. "How have you been?"

There was not really a good answer to that question. "Fine." He lied not wanting to go into any details. "Sometimes it was bad and sometimes it was good."

"I've heard that you are with someone." The woman said with a smile.

Blaine's good mood vanished immediately as he was reminded once again of Sebastian. "Ugh…it's kind of complicated." Blaine said not wanting to lie again but also trying to avoid telling anybody about his recent break-up.

Amanda's warm smile turned into a sad one. "I see." She said. "Well, maybe once you come back everything will be a little more clear."

"I don't think so." Blaine said sadly. "But thanks."

Amanda gave him a look which said that she knew exactly what Blaine was going through in the moment and it scared him once again to realize how smart the girl was. Luckily she was smart enough not to say anything and just grabbed his hand which meant to Blaine more than any words ever could.

After a few minutes they pair was rejoined by soon-to-be-married couple and Quinn. "Do you like it or is it too cheesy?" Kurt asked holding onto Adam's arm and looking so excited that Blaine couldn't stop himself from cracking a smile.

"It's cheesy in all the right ways." Blaine said honestly. "It's really incredible. Like something out of a romantic comedy." He said shoving his hands into his pants pockets and looking around the tent once again. It was in fact wonderful but Blaine's heart was breaking anyway at the sight of all of it.

Kurt looked at Adam lovingly for a moment and then back at Blaine. "I'm really glad you guys like it. We really want this day to be special and memorable."

"It's certainly going to be like that." Blaine said with a smile looking down at his feet so that he wouldn't be forced to look at them anymore.

Amanda hooked her arm with Blaine's as if trying to comfort him a little. When the man looked up he also noticed Quinn looking at him with concern. "Are you two planning a bachelor party?" Quinn asked looking at Kurt and Adam with a smirk.

"Not really." Adam replied. "There's no need for that. We just want to be married already, right?"

"Yes." Kurt agreed instantly joining his fingers with Adam's.

Blaine couldn't look at them anymore. His gaze stayed glued to his feet as he tried to focus on Amanda's strong grip on his arm. "We want to invite you all to a restaurant that we both love for a dinner." Adam said looking at their friends.

Blaine lifted up his gaze trying to force himself to smile. "Ugh…I don't want to ruin this…but I think I'm getting a migraine." Amanda suddenly said with a grimace of both pain and regret. "I would love to come with you but I'd prefer to take care of it now than to suffer during the wedding."

"Are you going to be okay? Do you want someone to go to the hotel with you?" Adam immediately asked looking concerned about his sister.

"Actually…I wouldn't mind if someone went with me to make sure that I don't pass out or anything." Amanda said reluctantly, looking a little guilty. The woman looked over at Blaine hopefully. "Would you drive me to our hotel and stay with me for a while at least?"

Blaine looked over at Kurt and noticed how sad he looked. He didn't want to disappoint his best friend but he also didn't want anything to happen to Amanda. "Sure, I'll go." He said to the woman and then looked back at Kurt. "I'm sorry."

"It's okay." Kurt said mustering a smile. "Just take care of Amanda."

"Of course." He said and slowly they walked out of tent entering a beautiful garden. As they walked towards the parking lot Blaine looked over at Amanda to check if everything was alright. "How bad is it?" He asked.

Amanda smiled sadly locking her gaze with his. "Blaine…I'm fine." Blaine raised his eyebrows in confusion making the woman sigh. "I could see how difficult it was for you to see them being all happy and adorable." She said softy. "I didn't want you to be stuck in that restaurant for a few hours and suffer further." She paused for a moment. "You will have enough of it during the wedding."

"Thank you." Blaine said. "You really didn't have to do that for me. Adam's your brother after all."

"I know." Amanda said. "But even though we almost don't know each other at all I consider you my friend." She said looking at Blaine with sympathy. "I can't imagine loving someone for such a long time and not saying anything about it. It must be one of the greatest punishments."

"Maybe I shouldn't have come here." Blaine said feeling that maybe his sulking would just make the wedding worse for Kurt and Adam. "But Kurt needs me and I'm not about to disappoint him during the most important time of his life."

"I get it." Amanda said as they approached her current car, borrowed from Adam. They got inside and the woman started the engine. "But once you come back home try to finally get over him."

Blaine chuckled sadly. "There is no getting over him, Amanda. Trust me. I've tried."

Amanda pulled out of the parking lot and glanced briefly at the man sitting beside her with sadness in her eyes. "I really hope you are wrong, Blaine."

* * *

"Where's my tuxedo? Oh my God. I must have forgotten it at home. We have to go back." Kurt said looking around the small room. Robert was watching him with his eyes wide open and a grin attached to his lips, clearly having too much fun seeing Kurt in distress.

"Relax, Kurt." Blaine said softly resting his hands on Kurt's shoulders and trying to calm him down. "Breathe." He said seeing the pure panic in Kurt's eyes. The man was still wearing his casual clothes looking like he was about to faint. His blue eyes were wide open and his cheeks slightly flushed. "Your tuxedo is there. See?" Blaine nodded towards the sofa on which surely was laid out Kurt's tuxedo designed by him.

He looked over at it and sighed in relief. "Good." He said. "I'm sorry but I'm just freaking out because I want everything to be perfect."

"Everything _is_ perfect." Blaine assured his best friend smiling softly.

In that moment Amanda entered the room followed by Quinn who was holding various hair products in her hands. "It's time to get ready. We don't want to keep your future husband waiting, do we?" Amanda said smiling brightly at her best friend.

They quickly got to work. Quinn and Amanda took care of Kurt's hair while Blaine just watched them from afar since he didn't have enough skills to help anyhow and tried to occupy Robert with something. "Okay, now's your turn." Quinn said to Blaine once they were done with Kurt's hair.

"What?" Blaine asked from his spot on the sofa, busy playing with his son a guessing game so that the boy wouldn't get bored and become whiney.

Quinn rested her hands on her hips, looking a little annoyed by her friend's behavior. "Blaine, you know how much I love your curls but right now it just looks ridiculous. Come here and let me save you from a great embarrassment."

Rolling his eyes Blaine switched places with Kurt who now looked dashing and elegant with his hair stylized. Quinn and Amanda put gel into his hair, not too much so that it looked like a helmet but enough to tame it. Looking into the mirror Blaine couldn't believe that it was really him staring back at him. He looked just like his high school self.

"Alright, now it's time to get dressed." Quinn announced, looking more excited than Blaine ever remembered her being.

Blaine helped Robert get into his small tuxedo and then dressed himself. Once he was done he looked over at Kurt who was struggling with his blazer. He quickly approached his best friend and helped him with the wayward piece of clothing. "Thanks." Kurt said to Blaine once he was wearing it properly.

Then he turned around to face Blaine. His eyes travelled up and down Blaine's body and he smirked. "Well, you look pretty dapper, Mr. Anderson. Like a real gentleman." He said.

Blaine blushed also examining Kurt's silhouette. Even without it he knew that his best friend looked absolutely stunning. Kurt looked like a Disney prince come to life. The tuxedo was black and classy with a few touches that made it perfect for him. Blaine wished more than anything to be the reason why Kurt was dressed like that. "You look absolutely breathtaking, Kurt. Adam's a lucky guy to have you marry him." Blaine said with a small smile.

Kurt laughed as his cheeks turned bright red. He didn't say anything to that, only looked down at Robert who was playing with the buttons of his blazer. "And don't you look charming?" He asked with a smile. The little boy looked up at him. "Everyone is going to love you."

Robert grinned brightly. "Thanks!" He said cheerfully and looked at his father. "Daddy! Will there be ice cream?" He asked with his huge pleading eyes.

Both Blaine and Kurt laughed. "I'm sure there will be." Blaine said looking at his son, not quite able to believe that he was so big already.

In that moment the door opened and Quinn and Amanda returned wearing their identical dresses. They were light pink with white details. The dresses were also designed by Kurt. Now that the man was living off of it he wasn't so shy about showing his clothes. "Are you guys ready?" Amanda asked with a bright grin plastered to her face. "Because Adam seems to be waiting for you already." She said winking.

A small smile that had been playing on Kurt's face instantly vanished. "Oh God. I…I'm scared."

Quinn laughed. "There's no need to be scared, Hummel. Adam's a pretty decent guy…and well, he's not that bad looking if you ask me."

Kurt took a deep breath. "Then let's go. I still need to talk to my father before the wedding."

"Alright. Everyone's waiting for you." Amanda said with a smile. "Gosh, I am so happy for you."

Kurt smiled back. "Thanks." He said. "Let's go then. We don't want to keep the guests waiting for too long, do we?"

The women quickly exited the dressing room, holding both of Robert's hands, followed by Blaine and Kurt. When they walked down a long hallway Kurt suddenly grabbed Blaine's hand stopping him. The dark-haired man looked at him in confusion. Kurt smiled softly at him. "I just wanted to tell you how happy I am to have you by my side." He paused for a moment. "I can't even imagine getting married without my best friend."

Blaine smiled back willing himself not to cry. "And I can't imagine not being there for my best friend during the most important day of his life."

Without any warning Kurt wrapped his arms around Blaine in a hug. "I love you, Blaine."

Blaine's heart skipped a beat as he wrapped his arms around Kurt's shoulders. "I love you too, Kurt."

"Are you going or not?" They heard Amanda's urgent voice from the end of the hallway.

When they started walking again Blaine had to wipe away a tear that had escaped his eye. Luckily Kurt didn't seem to notice as his just kept walking with a huge grin on his face.

* * *

Watching his best friend get married was among the hardest things that Blaine ever had to do. He was standing right behind Kurt which meant that he could see everything perfectly. This wasn't a good thing. He wished he could sit among other guests who seemed happy and cheerful. Maybe if he was surrounded by them he wouldn't have to pretend to be happy as well.

Blaine really wanted to be happy for Kurt but he just couldn't knowing that everything he had always dreamed of was slowly fading away and going out of his reach once and for all. Kurt and Adam both looked so undeniably happy and in love with each other than Blaine didn't know if he should laugh or cry.

He heard Kurt and Adam say their vows but Blaine didn't listen, instead focusing on his son who kept asking when the ceremony was going to end. Then when they were finally announced husband and husband Blaine almost lost it. He almost let the dark thoughts overwhelm him completely. In that moment he almost shouted out everything that he was feeling. He almost tried to stop them from getting married. Almost.

The two of them started kissing and everyone started clapping while Blaine just tried not to cry. The ceremony looked magical. The decorations were beautiful and all the people were dressed as if it was the wedding of the century. Blaine really wanted to be happy but it was just impossible.

When people started walking out of the building Blaine was approached by Quinn who smiled sadly at him. "How are you doing?"

"I'm happy for my best friend." Blaine said trying to bend the realty and make his statement true.

"Don't lie to me." Quinn said looking right through him. She grabbed Blaine's hand as they walked out of the building behind all other guests. "I promise that once everyone starts dancing and having fun we can get drunk to the point of passing out."

Blaine smiled. "Yeah, it sounds like a good plan."

When they arrived to the wedding tent it all looked even more beautiful than Blaine remembered it. Everyone looked equally impressed as they walked around it and admired all the lights and other decorations. Blaine took place by his table beside Quinn and Amanda and watched as the grooms talked to their guests while Robert, not so shy anymore, ran off to meet other children.

"I'm getting a little stressed out." Amanda admitted laughing nervously and looking down at the paper in front of her. "I'm supposed to give a speech in a few minutes and I feel like I'm going to just forget everything and make a fool out of myself."

"You're going to do just fine. Don't even worry about it." Quinn said confidently. "And even if you mess up everyone will be too busy staring into your boobs to notice."

"Oh, shut up." Amanda said laughing. Blaine was really glad that the two of them got along so well together. Blaine wasn't really surprised though. They were both open-minded and honest. Looking at the two of them Blaine couldn't help but smile. They looked stunning. Amanda had her dark hair let loose which made her look young and fresh. Quinn on the contrary had a beautiful bun making her look more mature and elegant.

A few minutes later surely it was time for Adam's sister to say a few words. She raised from her chair and clinked her glass with her fork just like in the movies to get everyone's attention. Adam and Kurt stopped talking to Adam's parents and took their seats to listen to Amanda's speech.

"Hi." She greeted the guests. "For those of you who don't know me my name is Amanda and I am Adam's sister. I also like to call myself Kurt's best friend but I don't know what he thinks about this title." The guests chuckled lightly which clearly made Amanda feel a little more confident. "Firstly I would like to thank our parents for hosting this wedding. They've been amazing during the whole process." She paused for a moment glancing at her parents who were sitting close to the grooms. "You might ask what do I know about their relationship if I live overseas? Well, I used to live with Kurt in the same apartment back in New York and I'm pretty convinced that Adam couldn't find himself anyone better."

"Don't get me wrong though. Kurt can be quite annoying at times with his constant mood swings and doubts about his abilities and skills." She paused for a moment looking straight at her best friend. "But none of that matters because I'm still sure that Kurt's the most amazing person that I have ever met. I met him during my freshman year of college when he was looking for a roommate and boy I am grateful for coming across that advisement back in the day."

"At the very beginning I didn't even think that Kurt and Adam could ever become a couple. They're polar opposites. You see, while Adam loves all kinds of sports Kurt isn't likely to be found on the sofa watching a football match. Since I am Adam's sister I believe that I know him better than anyone and I _know_ for a fact that my brother hates going shopping and yet one word from Kurt is enough to make him wander around a mall for the whole day. But when I saw them talk to each other for the first time I quickly realized that there was something special between the two of them. Something I can't even describe. It's like you're looking for something but you don't know what it is until you finally find it. And then you are complete. I've watched them grown to love and cherish each other. I've seen them fight and kiss. Looking at them I don't think that anyone can have a doubt that true love really exists. I surely don't."

"When Kurt told me about Adam proposing to him I was over the moon that both my brother and my best friend had found happiness In each other. Could I ask for more? I know that there will be times when you're going to think that this is not it. That you might have married the wrong person but no relationship is perfect and I want you to always remember that. Treat each other like every day is the Valentine's day."

"Both Kurt and Adam have been though a lot but at last they found each other. They're the lucky ones. I wish to have something like they do in the future. I really hope that you will never lose this special spark or love that you have to each other. I really wish that in forty years you will be still together and remembering this day as the one that was the beginning of the greatest of yours adventures. I love you both. More than anything. We all do."

She raised her glass with tears in her eyes but also a happy grin on her face. "Please, raise your glasses everyone. To Adam and Kurt!"

Everyone toasted. Blaine's heart was aching terribly but he put on a smile and just pretended to have a good time. Before sitting down Amanda added. "And now ladies and gentlemen, one of Kurt's best and oldest friends, Blaine Anderson, is going to play a song for the grooms for their first dance."

A cold shiver ran down Blaine's spine upon hearing this. He wasn't ready for that. He knew all the words and chords but physically he wasn't ready to sing the words that he didn't really mean with reference to Kurt's marriage. And yet he stood up, smiled at all the guests and winked towards Kurt before approaching the piano with a spring in his steps trying to fool everyone, including himself, that he was really excited to do that.

Blaine really thought he could do this but when he sat at the piano and his fingers hovered over the keys he realized that he wasn't strong enough to pretend that he was happy for Kurt anymore. So even though it was stupid, naïve and way more than inappropriate Blaine instead of performing the song Kurt and Adam had chosen started playing something completely different.


	23. Chapter 21 PART II

**A/N: Thank you all for the reviews :) The song used in this chapter is _All I Want_ by Kodaline. All rights belong to its creators. There is also a quote from the movie. If you want you can try to find it. **

* * *

"What the hell is he playing? This doesn't seem like the right song." Adam said from his spot beside Kurt. They were supposed to start dancing but they were frozen in place. Kurt immediately knew what Blaine was playing. They both loved this song. As soon as Kurt heard the first words all memories started coming back to him bringing tears into his eyes.

 _All I want is nothing more  
To hear you knocking at my door  
'Cause if I could see your face once more  
I could die a happy man I'm sure_

* * *

 **July, 2011**

Kurt didn't know what was happening. After the party Blaine wouldn't even look at him, much less speak with him. Kurt wanted to know what was wrong but Blaine kept quiet and both Sebastian and Quinn claimed to be just as confused as he was. Kurt had thought that this trip would change something. That maybe he would be brave enough to tell Blaine about his growing affection for him or the hazel-eyed boy would notice it himself.

Now it seemed like for some reason all hope was lost and Kurt couldn't do anything about it. Apparently all of his fantasies were just like a beautiful dream and now it was finally time to wake up from it. As he packed his things into his bag Sebastian slowly approached him and sat down on the bed beside him. "Aren't you packing?" Kurt asked, not really in the mood for talking to him.

Now because of Blaine not wanting to talk to Kurt and even Sebastian for that matter he shared his room with the green-eyed boy while Quinn was Blaine's current roommate. It was only for one night but it still hurt.

Sebastian smirked. "Nah, I'm all packed already." He replied. "And you still thinking about our little butthurt princess?" Kurt didn't say anything to that and it seemed to be enough of an answer for Sebastian. "Oh, come on. He's not worth it."

"He's my best friend." Kurt said. "Of course him not talking to me affects me. I don't know what's wrong. I don't know if it's my fault…if I did something wrong."

"You didn't do anything wrong. Blaine's just a moron." Sebastian said. "Stop thinking about him. He'll come around."

"I really hope so." Kurt said sitting down beside Sebastian and giving up packing for the time being. He didn't know what was wrong but he really hoped that Blaine was going to start speaking to him eventually.

Sebastian wrapped his arm around Kurt's shoulders and squeezed him reassuringly. "It's really going to be just fine.

* * *

 _When you said your last goodbye  
I died a little bit inside  
I lay in tears in bed all night  
Alone without you by my side_

 **May, 2013**

Sebastian moved a little closer to Kurt on the sofa. "I was thinking that maybe we could go together to the prom." He said suddenly surprising the hell out of Kurt.

The blue-eyed boy turned his head towards Sebastian in confusion. "I was thinking that we were going all together. With Quinn and Blaine." He said not really wanting to go to prom with Sebastian alone.

Sebastian chuckled. "Well, we _could_ do that but then there wouldn't be anything special about this." He paused for a moment. "This is our senior year prom, Kurt. This _is_ a big deal. Wouldn't it be nice if we went together dressed in matching colors? And don't you think that it would be groundbreaking for our school for a gay couple to go to a school prom together?" He smiled at Kurt. "We will go just as friends. Nothing more than that."

"What about Blaine though?" Kurt asked.

"What about him?"

The fact was that if he had to go with someone Kurt would prefer going with Blaine. He still hoped that their friendship could turn into something more. "Ugh…he's gay too."

Sebastian rolled his eyes. "So what? He's a big boy. Besides, Quinn needs someone to go with as well." He paused for a moment and took Kurt's hand making a cold shiver ran down his spine. He didn't know if this was a good thing or not. "Now I'm going to act like a gentleman so please appreciate it. Kurt Hummel, will you do me the honor of going to the senior year prom as my date?"

Kurt wanted to say no but it looked like it really meant a lot to Sebastian. They were best friends and this was only one night after all. This was not going to mean anything for any of them. "Why not?"

Two days later Kurt almost got a heart attack when he heard Blaine ask. "Would you like to go the prom with me? I mean as friends, of course since Sebastian and Quinn are most likely going together." Kurt almost died right there and then. For a split second he was over the moon. It felt like a dream come true but then he remembered that he had already agreed to go with Sebastian.

Kurt looked away not wanting to see Blaine's hopeful eyes anymore. "Um , actually Quinn and Sebastian aren't going together. I though you knew." He paused for a moment to see Blaine's reaction. His eyes went wide upon hearing the revelation and he looked unbelievably sad. "I am going with Sebastian."

"Oh" Was all that left Blaine's mouth. They stood in silence for a few seconds just staring at each other." I mean it's fine. I'm sure I can find someone else." Blaine smiled but it looked fake and forced.

"That's great. Quinn doesn't have anyone to go with, so you two should go together. You would look incredibly cute." Kurt said hoping that it would make Blaine feel at least a little bit better.

"Yeah…" Blaine trailed off looking so sad that Kurt wanted to kill himself for causing him this kind of pain.

* * *

 _But if you loved me  
Why'd you leave me?  
Take my body  
Take my body  
All I want is,  
And all I need is  
To find somebody.  
I'll find somebody like you._

"This is just ridiculous." Adam said raising his voice a little. "Let's go dancing." He grabbed his husband's hand and basically dragged him to the dance floor against his will. Only when Adam forcefully wrapped his arms around Kurt's waist the man was pulled out of his trance.

He looked over at Blaine who seemed to be way more focused on playing to notice the way everyone was staring at him. This was not a song for the first dance. The guests were apparently aware that it was a personal confession. As Kurt kept slowly swaying with Adam another wave of memories clouded his mind. _  
_

 **November, 2013**

When Kurt's lips crashed against Blaine's he knew that it was the thing that he would gladly do for the rest of his life. In that moment his whole reality collapsed but it was a good feeling because nothing existed except for them. Kurt thought that their kiss lasted for eternity but in reality almost as soon as Kurt's lips touched Blaine's the other boy pulled away.

When Kurt opened his eyes and looked at Blaine he quickly realized that the other boy wasn't all that happy about what just had happened. Kurt's cheeks turned bright red and tears started fogging his vision. "I'm so sorry, Blaine." Kurt quickly rushed to say looking away in embarrassment. "I just thought that maybe you wanted that as well."

"No, it's not your fault, Kurt." Blaine said instantly but it failed to make Kurt feel even slightly better. He could see that Blaine wanted to add something else but he just couldn't stand it so without even a word Kurt stood up from the sofa and quickly ran into his bedroom shutting the door loudly behind him.

Once Kurt was in his bedroom he didn't even bother to switch the light on. Instead he just sat down on his bed, covered his face with his hands and cried. He felt so stupid and naïve for even thinking that someone as amazing as Blaine could love him back. What was he even thinking? Blaine was smart, handsome and outgoing while Kurt felt like he didn't have anything valuable to offer.

Kurt had a feeling that from then on living in the same apartment with Blaine could become a nightmare. He didn't want things to get awkward between them since Blaine was one of the most important people in his life and losing him would be the probably one of the worst things that could happen to him. Kurt could only hope that he would be able to fix this.

* * *

 _So you brought out the best of me,  
A part of me I've never seen.  
You took my soul and wiped it clean.  
Our love was made for movie screens,_

 **June, 2014**

When Kurt saw Robert sleeping soundly in his crib it only really occurred to him that everything had changed. Blaine was a father and he was a completely different person. Hell, Kurt was a completely different person just because Blaine was not always by his side anymore. It was killing Kurt but there wasn't anything he could do about it. Blaine needed to be there for his son and no matter how much Kurt would love to beg him to go back with him to New York he knew he couldn't do that.

"So much has changed since last year." Blaine said as if reading Kurt's mind. Looking at the dark circles under his eyes Kurt realized how big of a toll raising a kid had on his best friend. Suddenly Blaine reached out his hand and took Kurt's into his. The blue-eyed boy leaned into the touch wishing that he could feel it more often. "But we're doing okay, right? Changes are good, don't you think? They let you get to know yourself better, reach your limits."

Kurt wasn't so sure about that. "I don't know." He glanced briefly at their joined hands with nostalgia and then looked back at Blaine. "Why would a change be good if it means losing your friends?"

It seemed like Blaine didn't know that as he just shrugged. They stood in silence for a few moments until Blaine finally let go of Kurt's hand, much to his dismay, and slowly approached the crib. Looking at Robert's cute face Kurt couldn't help but smile though. "I know how hard it is to adapt to the changes, but you know what? I like this change." Kurt's smile disappeared because Blaine was also talking about not being able to see each other every day anymore like they used to. "I don't like the fact that we don't live in the same city anymore, but I'm proud that I can call myself Robert's father." Kurt still didn't feel good about that. "But I'm not about to spend the rest of my life in here. I just have to figure out how to get back on my feet and be able to support both myself and Robert. Then I'm back in New York with you."

Kurt smiled slightly really wanting to believe that this was truly what was going to happen. "Can you promise?" He was aware of the fact that this kind of promise wouldn't mean anything but he wanted to have at least this to hold onto when he just couldn't stand the loneliness anymore.

Blaine smiled back. "Yes, I promise. But maybe you won't want little old me after all this time."

It was obviously meant as a joke but he felt the need to clarify that this was not going to happen anyway. In that moment he felt like he really had to just feel Blaine's body against his so he surged forward, wrapped his arms around Blaine's neck and buried his face into his best friend's shoulder. "How could I ever stop wanting you around, Blaine? You're everything. You're everything that I could ever ask for." Kurt said gripping the fabric of Blaine's shirt tightly in his hands. He was aware of the fact that it was almost like a declaration of undying love but he just couldn't stop himself from saying that.

After a few seconds Blaine wrapped his arm around Kurt's body allowing the blue-eyed boy to believe at least for a moment that everything was really going to be alright.

* * *

 _But if you loved me  
Why'd you leave me?  
Take my body,  
Take my body.  
All I want is,  
And all I need is  
To find somebody.  
I'll find somebody._

 **August, 2015**

"Oh, Blaine." When the information about Pamela's sudden illness fell upon Kurt he thought that nothing worse could ever happen. He felt so sorry for both Blaine and his mother. He knew how it felt like to lose a parent due to the cancer and he didn't want something as horrific to happen to his best friend. "I'm so sorry. Do you want me to come to you?" He asked wanting Blaine to both say yes and no.

"No, stay there. I need to figure everything out on my own." Blaine replied sounding more scared than he probably wanted to admit.

"Can I do something to help then?" Kurt asked feeling really helpless.

"Just…be there for me." It nearly broke Kurt's heart. It felt wrong. Blaine had been through enough and now he deserved to be happy. But instead he had been hit with yet another bullet.

Soon they ended their phone call and Kurt was left completely alone in his bedroom.

He hated to admit that he was selfish enough to be sad about Blaine not coming to New York as well.

* * *

 _If you loved me  
Why'd you leave me?  
Take my body,  
Take my body.  
All I want is,  
And all I need is  
To find somebody.  
I'll find somebody like you._

 **April, 2020**

Kurt finished writing the letter with tears in his eyes. He really wanted to believe that this was going to change something but he knew that it was unlikely to happen. How hypocritical of him was to send to Blaine something like that while they both had boyfriends?

Kurt knew that what he was doing was not fair to neither Adam nor Blaine and not even Sebastian but he felt like it was his only chance to be with the love of his life. If Blaine said no then he would get settled down with Adam because despite everything he really loved him and he hated to admit that he was only his second option.

Going to Vancouver had been his attempt to get Blaine but he hadn't been strong enough to admit his feeling back then. Now he could only hope that his letter was not going to end things between them once and for all. What if Blaine thought that Kurt was horrible for even thinking of destroying their relationships just to satisfy his own silly desires?

Kurt fought with himself for a long time not sure whether or not he should send it or not. At the end he did it anyway hoping that his decision would have impact on something. But if it got him into trouble, if it caused him to break up with Adam and even end his friendship with both Blaine and Sebastian he would be the only one to blame.

Kurt was a little surprised when he discovered that he didn't really mind taking that risk.

* * *

Once Blaine stopped playing his hands were shaking. When he looked up at all the guests he noticed that most of them were frozen in place. Adam and Kurt were cuddled to each other on the dance floor but they didn't really look invested in what they were doing.

Then Blaine looked at Quinn and Amanda. They both looked as if he had done something that he really shouldn't have but there was some kind of understanding on their faces as well.

As the silence continued Blaine felt various emotions building up inside of him. He knew he couldn't carry on with this masquerade anymore. It was just too much. He abruptly raised from his seat and walked as quickly as he could towards the restrooms feeling the hot tears start rolling down his cheeks.

"Let's all thank Blaine Anderson for his outstanding performance with a round of applause." Blaine heard someone say but he couldn't even identify who this voice belonged to. He stormed into luckily empty restroom, locked himself in one of the cubicles, sat on the toilet seat and let himself cry out everything.

He couldn't keep pretending anymore that he didn't love Kurt. He didn't have enough strength for that. As the tears continued to cascade down Blaine's face he stopped even trying to wipe them away. Blaine knew he was behaving like a child but he couldn't help it. Kurt had always been the only thing that he wanted, his only fantasy, his biggest dream and now everything was wasted.

The whole world was falling apart and Blaine couldn't do anything to stop it. He wanted to get lost in his mother's embrace and let her soothe him but his mother wasn't there so he had to suffer on his own.

When Blaine heard the door open deep down, against the better judgment he hoped that it was Kurt running after him. Unfortunately it wasn't his voice that he heard. "Blaine? Are you there?" Quinn asked knocking against the closed door. Blaine didn't answer just sobbing instead. "Please, come out."

"Why would I do that?" Blaine asked bitterly. "Kurt's probably mad at me for ruining his wedding. I'm not surprised to be honest."

"You haven't ruined anything, Blaine." Quinn said softly. "The guests might have been a little confused but everything's alright now. You can come out." When Blaine didn't say anything she continued. "You don't even have to stay here. We will rake Robert and go back to the hotel if you want."

Hesitantly Blaine opened the door. "That's it. Now we can go-" Without saying anything Blaine fell into his friend's arms crying into her shoulder. "Oh, it's okay, Blaine." Quinn said soothingly running her hand up and down Blaine's back. "I know you're hurting but it's really going to be okay in the end." When Blaine just kept clinging to her body the woman leaned her back against the wall and let them both slowly sunk to the floor.

"I want this nightmare to finally end. Once and for all." Blaine said cuddling into her side.

"I know, Blaine." Quinn said circling her arms around Blaine's body and pressing her lips softly to his forehead.

They stayed in that position for quite some time. At some point some man walked into the restroom to do his business but after hearing some very delightful death threats from Quinn he quickly left the two of them alone again.

After what could be half an hour or two Amanda entered the restroom carefully. Once her gaze fell on Blaine her face fell. "Kurt's looking for you, Blaine." She said softly approaching the two of them. The woman crouched down next to Blaine and rested her hand on his back. "I know that you wanted to be there for him but in this situation I think that you should leave. Tell him that you're not feeling alright and go back to the hotel."

Blaine really wanted to say yes to that. It seemed like the easiest option but in that moment he didn't really care about anything anymore. He was numb and he wanted to make this feeling even stronger. "No." He said firmly standing up.

"What?" Amanda asked crossing her arms over her chest. Blaine helped Quinn up and straightened out his clothes. "You know how much I like you, Blaine but I really think that this is a bad idea."

"She is right." Quinn said resting her hand on Blaine's shoulder in what was probably supposed to be a comforting gesture. "Let's get you to the hotel."

"No." Blaine repeated. Then he turned to Amanda. "I am about to get drunk. It seems like the only way to survive this night."

"Blaine, listen to me." Amanda said grabbing Blaine's arm forcefully. "I really understand how it feels like to love someone who doesn't love you back but I can only imagine what it is like to witness a wedding of that person. I do understand your struggle. With that said Adam's is still my brother and Kurt is my best friend and I am not about to let you ruin the most important night of their lives."

"Then try to stop me." Blaine said, way past the point of caring about anyone's feelings. He just wanted to get as much alcohol into his system as he could. Amanda opened her mouth as to say something but at the end she kept quiet. "Keep him away from me unless you want me to say something I might regret later."

Not waiting for their approval Blaine looked into the mirror to check if he looked like he had been crying. He did in fact. Blaine didn't care though. He left the restroom and returned to his previously occupied table.

He was quickly joined by Quinn who apparently had been assigned to watch over him. The woman luckily didn't say anything and just watched as Blaine poured into himself drink after a drink.

Soon the atmosphere in the tent stopped being so official and people actually started having fun. At some point Robert wanted to talk to his father but Amanda quickly ran over to their table and took him somewhere, probably not wanting the boy to see his father in such a bad state.

The dance floor was quickly filled by young people. Blaine tried not to look their way knowing that somewhere among these people he was surely going to notice Adam and Kurt dancing. He didn't want to look at that.

"You should stop. This is not normal." Quinn said suddenly looking at Blaine with concern. "You can't carry on like that."

"Oh, shut up." Blaine said and poured her a glass of wine. "Drink and you'll feel better. This was our original plan after all."

The woman eyed the glass suspiciously but drank the wine at last, apparently thinking that it was also her only way to survive the night.

"Are you going to spend the whole night just drinking or are you two are going to actually dance with me?" Blaine raised his head hearing the unmistakable voice. Kurt was looking at them with a grin on his face.

"No, thanks. We're fine here." Quinn quickly rushed to say.

"But Blaine's the best dancer that I know." Kurt said looking at Blaine with pleading eyes. "I know that there's no bride but I'm pretty sure that turning down the groom is impolite as well." He said laughing.

"Sure." Blaine said standing up. The alcohol was already running through his vines but he didn't feel that much affected by it yet.

"Blaine, no-" Quinn started to say but before she could finish Blaine was already following Kurt to the dance floor. He looked over his shoulder and noticed just how sorry she obviously felt for him. Blaine felt a little bad for dragging so many people into this but there wasn't really much he could do about this at that point.

"So how do you like this party so far? Has it lived up to your expectations?" Kurt asked when they started dancing. It couldn't really be called a dance. They were just swaying slowly while all of the people around them were jumping and having way more fun that they probably should.

"Well, it's a wedding…" Blaine said which made Kurt laugh.

"Yes, that's a good point, I guess." He paused for a moment. "If I were you I would keep an eye on Adam's aunt. She keeps saying what a fine gentleman you are." He smirked. "Well, she does have a point obviously but it doesn't make it less creepy. She's almost seventy."

Blaine cracked a smile but it probably didn't look convincing as Kurt stopped laughing and looking so carefree. In that very moment Blaine felt like he was dying. Everything around him was beautiful. The ceiling looked like a sky full of stars, the tables were lit in a way that made everything a little more intimate than during a regular party and in front of him was standing the most amazing creature in the whole universe.

All Blaine wanted was to pull Kurt into his arms and kiss him until they were both out of breath. He wanted to be the one marrying Kurt. He wanted to be the one spending the rest of his life with him. And yet things were different all because some bad choices they had both made. "What's wrong, Blaine?" Kurt asked at last. He stopped dancing and just stood there staring at Blaine with concern.

Blaine looked down opening and closing his mouth a few times. He wanted to confess his love right there and then. "You should have called me." Blaine said instead lifting up his gaze to meet Kurt's.

The other man looked just more confused. "What are you talking about, Blaine?"

Blaine sighed feeling conflicted. Telling Kurt about everything was going to cause a lot of things, a lot of things that could end their friendship but he just couldn't keep quiet anymore. His feelings were slowly destroying him. It was like an illness burning his insides and making it impossible to breath. "A few days ago I found your letter."

For a moment Kurt still looked confused but then Blaine saw the exact moment in which the taller man realized what his best friend was talking about. "Oh." Was all that came out of his mouth as he looked away avoiding Blaine's gaze.

"I wish I could have seen it earlier." Blaine said. "If I had read it then maybe now…you and Adam wouldn't have got married."

Kurt slowly nodded his head and Blaine noticed tears sparkling in his eyes. "Why are you doing this now, Blaine? You have no idea how long I've been waiting for you to say something about this…at least tell me that is not what you want….that I should grow up and finally let go of some childish fantasy that I still have…" He crossed his arms over his chest and bit hard on his bottom lip. "This is really not a good time to talk about this."

"I feel like there will never be a good time to talk about this." Blaine said feeling like he had to let everything out. "You can only imagine how much it hurt me when I saw you kiss Sebastian in Paris…how much it hurt me when you told me about Jared…and then Adam."

Kurt's eyes widened in surprise. "Wait…what kiss?"

"In that club." Blaine's jaw dropped as he realized what that meant. "You don't remember…"

"What I remember is you not talking to me for a month." Kurt said looking hurt. "All I wanted was to be with you and yet you turned away from me."

"And you found comfort in Sebastian's arms." Blaine pointed out not really blaming Kurt for that.

"You could say that." Kurt said looking down. "I…when you told me about you and Sebastian I felt like it was the final call for me to do something about my feelings for you. So I booked a flight wanting to finally tell you about everything." He chuckled bitterly. "Well, obviously it didn't work. I chickened out and thought that maybe I should finally let go of you and focus on Adam." He paused for a moment. "But I had to write that damn letter."

"I'm glad you did it." Blaine said. "Despite everything. At least I know that you loved me."

"I-" He began but shook his head. "I think I have to go. I need to find Adam."

Blaine nodded his head noticing Adam staring at them in the corner of his eye. "Before you go…I need to say something because if I don't I will always regret it." Kurt didn't say anything just staring at Blaine with his eyes wide open. "During all of these years spent apart I've realized that no matter where you are, what you're doing or who you're with I will always honestly, truly, completely love you."

Kurt's eyes filled with eyes and without saying anything he just turned around and walked away towards Adam who kept looking at Blaine as though he wanted to kill him. Blaine just hoped that Adam hadn't heard anything. Watching Kurt walk away Blaine watched as his dreams melted away leaving him completely numb and hopeless.

* * *

When Blaine blinked his eyes open he felt like his head was going to explode from the insane amount of pain he was in. "Finally." He heard Quinn's voice from beside him.

He was laying face flat on his bed with Quinn sitting on her own. "My head's killing me." Blaine said running his hand through his messy hair and realizing that there was still gel in it.

"I'm not surprised." Quinn said with a sad smile. She was dressed in a comfortable sweater and a pair of jeans with her hair tied up in a ponytail. "What do you remember from last night?"

"Not much." Blaine said honestly sitting down straight on the bed and rubbing his face with his hands. All of his memories of the wedding were foggy and clouded.

"So basically you confessed your feelings for Kurt and it all went downhill from there." Quinn said. She sat down beside him and handed him a glass of water with a pill. "Take this. It might make you feel better."

Blaine took the offered water and pill quickly swallowing it down. "I remember that." Blaine said not feeling very proud of himself. Now he knew what had really happened in Paris. How he had destroyed everything himself. "What happened then?"

Quinn grimaced. "Well, you kind of lost control over your actions. After basically getting into a fight with some guy you insulted Adam in front of everyone. Then you danced a little and passed out."

"Oh." Was all that left Blaine's mouth.

"Now Kurt and Adam are in a massive fight because of you." Quinn said looking at Blaine with sympathy. "And Amanda is looking for a way to kill you so the best thing you could do is get lost. Do something with your appearance, take Robert and just go."

"Where is he?" Blaine asked, suddenly feeling panic raise inside of him. He hadn't been the best father last night.

"Don't worry about him. Seeing how you were out of control Burt took him out of there." Quinn said.

"I need to thank him." Blaine said, not feeling very good about talking to Kurt's father right now.

"Yes, you do." Quinn agreed.

"So I should just go?" Blaine asked. "Without saying anything? Without even apologizing?"

"Yes, that's what you should do now." Quinn said softly. "There will be time for apologizing later but right now you need to disappear."

Blaine nodded his head knowing that she was right. He really wanted to stay and try to make things right but he knew that it wouldn't be the best thing to do. He had destroyed enough.


	24. Chapter 22

**June, 2021**

* * *

Jaime put the notepad that she had been holding down on the coffee table and Blaine noticed that there was nothing written on it. "Oh, wow." She said rubbing her neck. "That's a lot to take in." Her lips were pressed in a line and her eyes were full of sympathy but it was clear that she hadn't been prepared to hear something like that.

"I know." Blaine said wanting to hear something helpful. He locked his gaze with hers wiping away the tears from his face that had escaped at some point. "What do you think I should do now?"

Jamie sighed. "This is a really difficult situation for you, obviously." She said softly smiling sadly at him. "I know how hard it might be for you to hear that but I think the healthiest option would be letting go of him." Blaine looked away. He was sad to hear that but he could also understand where Jamie was coming from. "Kurt and Adam are married now. If your best friend is happy then you should just let him be."

"It's easier said than done." Blaine said sadly with his eyes glued to his hands.

"I know that, Blaine." Jamie said and suddenly she grabbed Blaine's hand. It made the hazel-eyed man look up at her again. "That's why I think you should stop talking to him. At least for a while to learn living without him."

Blaine chuckled bitterly. "Trust me. I know how to live without him. I've been doing that for God knows how many years. And surprisingly this doesn't help with anything. Once I thought that maybe I was over him. Turned out I was wrong."

Jamie smiled at him in sympathy. "You don't know how to live without him." She stated. "The fact that you live so far away from each other doesn't mean anything. You have to stop being exposed to him because it might eventually destroy you completely."

Deep down Blaine knew that the therapist was right but he just couldn't imagine living without hearing Kurt's angelic voice or seeing his beautiful eyes. "Well, he probably isn't going to talk to me anytime soon anyway." Blaine said shrugging. "After what I did during his wedding."

Jamie smiled slightly. "On the bright side through I think that you should try talking to Sebastian. Obviously you shouldn't try being in a relationship again but maybe this friendship can be still saved."

"You really think so?" Blaine questioned.

Jamie shrugged. "Well, it might be worth a shot. You don't have much to lose anyway."

"Yeah…" Blaine trailed off. "Thank you for your help and sorry for wasting your time."

"I'm here to help people." Jamie said softly. "You're not an exception." Then she looked as if she wanted to say something else but then instead she stood up, walked over to her desk and took something out of one of the drawers. Once she came back she handed Blaine a colorful pamphlet. "This may help."

Blaine glanced at the piece of paper. "A theatre group for amateurs?" Blaine questioned, a bit confused.

"Yes." Jamie replied with a smile. "Since you like dancing, singing and generally performing so much this might be a good idea for you. There's an open audition next week. I can't promise you anything grand but it might be worth a shot."

"I don't know if I'm in a mood for that." Blaine said honestly.

"Do it." The therapist said. "Trust me. You'll meet new people and the world won't seem that heartless anymore."

Blaine smiled slightly looking down at the paper but it couldn't possibly look like anything more than a painful grimace. He thanked her one more time, stood up from the comfortable armchair and walked out of Jamie's office. He sighed seeing the grey and dull walls once again.

* * *

As soon as the door opened to the apartment in which Blaine used to be so happy and they saw Sebastian's face, Robert ran into his arms, clearly surprising the green-eyed man. Despite everything he took the boy into his arms smiling slightly. "I missed you so much, buddy." He said softly.

"I missed you too." Robert said quietly clinging to Sebastian's body.

Then Sebastian's gaze fell on Blaine and his face hardened. "Hello, Sebastian." Blaine greeted him attempting to smile. "Robert has been asking me to visit you, so I finally gave in."

Sebastian hugged the boy closely to his body looking conflicted. Blaine could see how much he loved the boy but also how much it had to pain him to even look at his ex-boyfriend. "Is this the only reason why you decided to come here?"

"Can I come inside?" Blaine avoided the question stepping from feet to feet awkwardly. "Please."

Sebastian's face softened slightly but he still looked mostly happy about seeing Robert, not Blaine. "Okay." He said stepping aside with Robert still in his arms and let Blaine in.

As soon as Blaine entered the spacious hallway a wave of nostalgia hit him with its full force. He still loved this apartment and now living together with an old history teacher just wasn't the same. Blaine was lucky to have a place to live while he searched for an apartment but it still wasn't easy to get used to living without Sebastian. He was still mad at him for hiding the letter from him and possibly destructing the only chance he had to get Kurt but most of the anger had melted away together with that last opportunity.

"How is it going with Mary?" Sebastian asked Robert with a smirk setting him down on the ground. "Is she your girlfriend yet?"

The little boy looked as if Sebastian had gone insane. "Girls are yucky." He said. "But Mary doesn't touch me so I like her."

Sebastian laughed and despite the tense atmosphere Blaine did the same. Noticing this the taller man looked at Blaine and his green eyes immediately turned into a sea of sadness and regret.

Blaine and Robert followed him into the living room and the little boy instantly ran towards the coloring books that were still laying on the coffee table. "You kept them." Blaine pointed out looking at his son.

"Well, yeah." Sebastian said. "I just…I didn't have the heart to throw them away." He paused for a moment also looking at Robert. "I miss him."

"I know." Blaine said softly. "He misses you too."

"A few days ago Quinn called me." Sebastian said. "She told me everything that had happened during Kurt's wedding." Blaine grimaced looking away in embarrassment. But when he looked at Sebastian again he noticed him smirking. "I think it was pretty badass."

"I think it was mostly stupid and ridiculous." Blaine said. "And it might have possibly ended my friendship with Kurt."

Sebastian smirk turned into a sad smile. "No, I don't think that could ever happen. Give it a few months and you'll be back to gushing with each other every day."

Blaine smiled slightly not really sure if he believed himself that it could really end well for them or not. They stood like that in silence for a few minutes and it seemed like neither of them felt like sitting down. "I wanted to apologize." Blaine said suddenly making Sebastian look up at him. "You were right. I shouldn't have stayed in the relationship if I knew that I was still in love with Kurt. It wasn't fair."

Sebastian nodded his head. "It wasn't." He paused for a moment. "I loved you, Blaine. I loved you so much and I would have done everything for you. But I wasn't fair either. I shouldn't have hidden that latter from you. You had the right to know about it no matter what." He sighed. "Who knows? Maybe if I hadn't done that you would have been together by now."

"No, it wasn't your fault. Not really." Blaine rushed to say. "I should have been brave enough to tell Kurt about my feelings even without reading that letter. And I should have been brave enough to end things with you." Blaine reached out his hand to take Sebastian's, more out of habit than anything else, but quickly let it fall to his side knowing that he wasn't allowed to do that anymore. "I know we both hurt each other but maybe we could remain friends?" He asked hoping against all odds that he was not going to lose Sebastian as well.

"Let's take one step at a time, okay?" Sebastian asked with a small smile. "We're on talking terms. That's good for now. I can take Robert somewhere every once in a while and for now that's all I have to offer. I still need more time."

"I understand you." Blaine said.

"Can I ask you a question though?" Blaine nodded prompting the other man to continue. "Was it all worth it? If you could turn back time would you have done all that too? Would you have left me and told Kurt everything?"

"Yes." Blaine said instantly. "Because despite everything now I feel better."

Sebastian nodded his head and looked away seeming to be lost in thoughts. "I know it's not the best time to do this but…I want you to know one thing." Blaine fixed his gaze on Sebastian hoping that it wouldn't be anything that could crash him even more.

"Yeah?" He questioned readying himself for what was about to come.

Without saying anything Sebastian exited the living room leaving Robert and Blaine alone. Less than a minute later he was back with a small velvet box in his hands. Blaine's heart started aching painfully for both Sebastian and himself when he realized what it was that he was holding. "Sebastian." He said softly without anything else on his mind. In the corner of his eye Blaine noticed that Robert stopped coloring and focused on their conversation instead.

"Maybe it was a bit stupid of me but I was supposed to give you this during the wedding." Sebastian looked down at the box and opened it revealing a classy silver ring. "I thought that it would be romantic."

Despite everything Blaine felt a little sad that it hadn't happened. He could picture the two of them dancing together and then at some point Sebastian would show him the ring and ask that important question. Blaine would have probably said yes to that. "It would have been." Blaine agreed with his eyes glued to the ring. "It would have been perfect."

Sebastian nodded closing the box and hiding it in his pocket. "Well, I shouldn't have probably shown you this. It's weird."

"Maybe a little." Blaine agreed. "But I'm glad you did it. I don't want any more secrets." He said sighing. "I'm so sorry about everything."

"Me too." Sebastian said quietly, barely above a whisper.

* * *

"Why can't we live with uncle Sebastian anymore?" Robert asked sadly gripping onto Blaine's hand tightly. "I promise I will be good." Blaine was about to explain it all to him one more time but the boy didn't let him say anything. "I hate living here. Mrs. Fuller is old and smells funny."

"Don't ever say that in front of her." Blaine said pushing down the button in the elevator. "She was kind enough to let us stay with her for while. Soon we will have our own apartment."

Robert ducked his head sadly. "But I want to live with uncle Sebastian again."

"I know." Blaine said. Sometimes he wished they could go back to the way it was before but deep down he knew that he had to start living on his own in order to sort everything out in his life.

"He wanted to get married with you." Robert said softly gazing at Blaine intensely. "You didn't want to?"

Blaine really didn't feel up for this kind of conversation but it seemed like Robert was not going to let go so easily. "I-I don't know." He said honestly.

"You don't love him anymore?" Robert asked with his hazel eyes round and curious.

Blaine sighed knowing that Robert could have trouble understanding something that he didn't understand himself. "I do love him." Blaine replied honestly. "I just…" There was no point in trying to fool Robert. Maybe the little boy couldn't understand everything well yet but at least he deserved to be told the truth. "I love someone else more." Blaine admitted.

"Is it Kurt?" Robert asked instantly.

Blaine looked down into his honest eyes and after a moment answered. "Yes."

* * *

Without Kurt to talk to every day Blaine started chatting with Quinn more often. It felt nice to be in touch with her once again. Her sarcastic remarks reminded him a little of Sebastian which hurt but Blaine liked her because at least there was no way that he would ever fall in love with her. Quinn couldn't hurt Blaine and he couldn't hurt her.

After a few days the woman managed to convince Blaine to go to the audition. He wasn't really in the mood for that but maybe it could actually take his mind off of things. He was never going to make a living out of this but at least as Jamie had said he would meet new people and maybe find a hobby.

He tried not to think too much about Kurt and instead focus on finding an apartment and taking care of his son. And yet despite Blaine's efforts each night he would still have the same dream. He dreamed about cuddling to Kurt on the bed, breathing in his scent and feeling his skin against his own. But then when he turned around to Kurt he would find only familiar empty space.

That dream would often lead him to tears but Blaine tried really hard to get over it and finally move on. Nothing seemed to work though. Every day was just like the previous one and Blaine's life seemed to lack colors.

It lacked passion. It lacked a purpose.

Without both Kurt and Sebastian Blaine felt empty. He wanted them both back in his life. And even though Blaine didn't regret telling Kurt about his feelings and breaking up with Sebastian sometimes he wished that things could go back to the way they had been before.

But he had to suck it up and start his life all over again unless Blaine wanted to spend another few weeks living with an older lady who had only agreed to help him because she felt bad for his son.

When the day of audition finally arrived Blaine didn't really know how to feel about that. He still wanted to perform, show himself to the world but he didn't think that it was the best time for that.

"Oh, Blaine. Don't be like that. If you don't risk you'll never get anything." Quinn said to that.

Blaine was packing his stuff into his bag while simultaneously talking to his friend on the phone. The classroom was luckily empty so no one could overhear their conversation. "Well, I don't know about that." Blaine said swinging his bag over his shoulder and exiting the classroom. "What if…what if in my current state I can't give everything that I have to offer? What if my performance lacks emotions?"

"Blaine, calm down." Quinn said clearly annoyed by Blaine's behavior. "Oh for God's sake. It's not a big deal. Just go there and have fun. If they're amateurs then their expectations are probably not that high. You'll be amazing. Trust me."

Blaine exited the school building and walked towards the subway station. "You're probably right and I'm just overreacting."

"Great. You're finally getting it." Quinn said sounding both happy and relieved. "Now go there and make them beg you to join their pathetic little group."

"You're not making it sound very appealing, you know?" Blaine said actually smiling,

"Oh, just go there and give me a call later, okay?" Quinn questioned.

"Sure." Blaine said and ended the call. Once he wasn't on the phone with the woman anymore Blaine started feeling uneasy. He still had doubts about auditioning but despite that Blaine decided to just go for it and try to enjoy his chance to try something new and exciting.

While waiting for the train Blaine checked the location one more time to make sure that he was not going to get lost. He really hoped that it wouldn't take very long because while Sebastian was more than happy to spend an afternoon together with Robert, Blaine didn't want to ask him for too much just yet.

When Blaine exited the subway station and started walking down the sidewalk he started getting nervous once again. His heart was beating fast and he was starting to sweat a little. Blaine really hoped that he would make a good impression because he missed performing. The last time he had done it was in New York in college and Blaine was ashamed of not doing anything about that sooner.

Maybe now finally something permanently good would happen to him. Something Blaine wasn't going to lose or destroy by some stupid choices. Maybe this was his chance to find a new goal in life that would keep him motivated and make him think less about Kurt.

Once Blaine reached his destination he had to check a few times to make sure that he was really in the right place. The theatre was relatively small and it was located in not a popular part of the city so there wasn't that many people walking around. Blaine slowly approached the building feeling like his heart kept doing back flips in his chest and not being able to do anything about it.

He pushed the door open and was introduced to a small lobby with one open door. With nothing else to do Blaine entered a rather long corridor and walked ahead wondering why he hadn't bumped into anybody yet. Actually the hallway was not very well lit and Blaine couldn't hear anything expect for his racing heart. Just as he was starting to get suspicious a door at the end of the corridor opened and a guy came out.

As soon as his gaze landed on Blaine a bright grin appeared on his face. The man looked to be a few years older than Blaine even though his smile made him look younger. He was tall and slim with a pair of glasses on his face. "Hello. My name is Blaine Anderson." The dark-haired man introduced himself returning the smile.

The man instantly approached Blaine and shook his hand firmly. "Nice to meet you. My name is Kenny."

"I came to audition." Blaine explained. "I don't have that much experience but in high school I took part in some of the plays. I can also sing so if you want I can present something for you."

Kenny laughed looking really amused. "There is really no need for all that, Blaine." He said.

Blaine raised his eyebrows in confusion. "What? I thought I was supposed to audition."

"This is just a fancy name for what we are doing here." Kenny said brushing his hair away from his forehead. "We accept everyone in our group." He said with a smile. "Since we're not professionals not a lot of people come to watch our spectacles and therefore not many people want to join us." His smile disappeared and for a moment Kenny looked a little sad. "But we're trying."

"I get it." Blaine said nodding his head. He didn't know what he had been expecting but definitely something less…well, amateur.

"So if you are looking for something that would get you money I'm afraid this isn't it." Kenny said sadly even though he still looked slightly hopeful. "But if you're looking for a group of weird but loyal people who just want to have some fun together on the stage then I can guarantee that you won't be disappointed."

Blaine shrugged. "I'm not a professional actor or singer either. What I'm looking for is an opportunity to meet new people and maybe get my mind off of things."

Kenny smiled. "Then I guess you're in the right place. Come on. I will introduce you to everyone."

Blaine followed Kenny into a small room which was quite crowded. "Everybody, this is Blaine." Kenny said gaining his friends' attention. All the heads in the room turned towards them. "Blaine, this is everybody." Looking at all the people staring at him Blaine felt a little overwhelmed but he smiled politely anyway. "This is Clem." Kenny said pointing at the ginger-haired woman who was sitting by the piano in the corner of the room. The woman smiled at Blaine and waved her hand as a way of greeting. "That man sitting on the sofa is Stephen and that girl next to him is Maria."

As Blaine walked around the room greeting all the people he was starting to feel less and less nervous and growing more excited with each passing minute. Once he knew everyone by name they explained to him what they were currently working on. It was a play that they had written themselves which impressed Blaine a lot.

As Blaine listened to the group of friends talk passionately about what they were doing he thought that this could turn out to finally be the place where he belonged.

When the meeting was over Blaine promised Kenny and the rest that he would seriously consider joining them for good. With a smile on his face and hope in his heart Blaine exited the room and walked down the dark corridor thinking that even though he had still a lot of things to sort out in his life at least something was going into the right direction.

He was so deep in his thoughts that at the beginning Blaine didn't notice a familiar figure hiding in the lobby. But then when Blaine rested his hand on the door handle he noticed him in the corner of his eye and his breath got caught in his throat. Blaine thought he was hallucinating, that it couldn't possibly be truly happening. Maybe he was just slowly going crazy from missing him so much.

But when Blaine slowly turned around he realized that it was really Kurt standing there, looking both nervous and hopeful and holding a bouquet of roses tightly in his hands. All the emotions playing on his face reminded Blaine of that unfortunate evening a few years back in New York when Kurt had confessed his feelings for him for the first time. He wished he had said yes stopping all the insane things that had followed from happening. Blaine's eyes widened as he just stared at Kurt hoping that the man wouldn't just disappear into thin air. "Hi." Kurt said softly making Blaine believe that he was really standing there in front of him.

"Hi." Blaine replied, not being able to produce any other words. It seemed like his dreams could finally come true. _Yes,_ there was a chance that Kurt was there only to straight things out between them and go back to being friends but Blaine could see how his best friend had almost tears in his eyes so he knew that something more grand and epic was about to follow.

A shy smile appeared on Kurt's face as he looked down at the roses in his hands. "I saw you smile so I think that your audition went good after all, huh?" He asked lifting up his gaze and looking straight into Blaine's eyes. "Is this stupid?" He asked looking once again at the flowers. "It is, isn't it? I should just throw them out."

That made Blaine chuckle a little. He walked over to Kurt, looked down at the roses in his hands and slowly took them from him. He smelled them and then just let them fall into the floor so that he could wrap his arms around Kurt's neck. He looked straight into Kurt's blue eyes and the taller man didn't need to say anything to make Blaine understand what he was there for. Blaine's heart was beating so fast that he thought that it could just rip his chest open. There was so many things that they had to talk about but in that moment it didn't really matter. All that mattered was that they were together at last.

"I have been waiting for this moment my whole life." Blaine said quietly and Kurt just nodded his head with tears sparkling in his eyes and making them look even more beautiful. "We won't let anything come between us ever again." Blaine said, sure that this time they could really make everything work.

"We won't be so reckless with our feelings anymore." Kurt said firmly. "We will be honest with each other no matter what."

And without saying anything else Blaine leaned forward standing on his tip toes and captured Kurt's lips with a sweet kiss that took their breaths away. And just like in Paris Blaine fell in love with Kurt all over again, his hopes went up but this time he promised himself that he would never miss another chance again. That this time they would do everything right.

So Blaine continued dancing on the roof knowing that this time Kurt wouldn't let him fall down and crash.

 **THE END**

* * *

 **A/N: I can't believe this is really over. But it is and our boys are finally happy :) Thank you all for reading, reviewing and just being there. Looking back I know I could have done so many things in this story better, but well, what's done is done, I guess. Of course I highly recommend watching the movie "Love, Rosie" and reading the book. They are both outstanding and I really hope this story will make at least one person meet Rosie and Alex. Thank you one more time and if you can leave one last review to let me know what you think. Maybe the ending isn't that spectacular but I wanted to keep it simple :)**


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